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 AUTHOR
 sleepsafe
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 64
My fiance went with a hooker before he met mePage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
OP, come on. 10 yrs ago, it's not like you found out haphazardly, by mistake, a slip. He told you for God's sake. He was truthful, he didn't try to hide it from you. He was honest. You ask what kind of a man uses a hooker. One that wants some human companionship. One that is lonely, saddened by his life's events. Someone that want's to hold onto a piece of humanity for just a few seconds or minutes and feel like just maybe someone gives a shit enough to be with him, even if he is paying her money. I have never been with one. But there were times after my wife's death, before I started dating that i certainly considered it. If it was legal I most probably would have. Fear of getting arrested, losing my job and my livelihood is what stopped me.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 72
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/6/2008 10:10:21 AM
If this bothers you so much and you cant forget about it you should just move on and let him find someone that is worth his and and not was his time with you.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 73
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/6/2008 10:17:46 AM
£20 for a hand job, what a rip off. Tell him he should have gotten a lot more for that kind of money.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 74
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/6/2008 12:05:25 PM
My sister's brother in law used to hooker. I am sure that he made up a sweet story for his wife also. He still does sleezy strip joints. Nasty porn mags. And I wouldn't doubt if he did hookers. Because I had heard that hookers were hired to some of the bachelor parties. So he may be covering his tracks from the past, but that does not mean that he has changed.
I had a boyfriend and found out that he had a fiance and boy did we compare notes.
He was LOITERING where the hookers hung out. Nobody loiters where the hoors hang....
Get real!!!!!!!! I mean we found out he had two steady girlfriends and juggled us quite well.

i would be careful. you need
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 77
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/7/2008 1:47:26 PM
Of course you should let go of it as it isn't a big deal. If he isn't doing it now, why worry about it. As to what type of man goes to a prostitute, one that wants to have sex and doesn't have someone in his life willing to have sex with him.
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 81
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/7/2008 5:27:43 PM
a middle aged man getting it on with a hooker? amazing...haha
 agenteightysix
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 83
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:26:04 PM
If my girl friend wants to know my past sexual explicits I will tell her. If she tell me hers ,its my duty to tell her its OK. I still love you, respect you, and it doesn't change who you are to me. Should I break up with someone I like because ,she was raped, all I can think about her being raped. No I should get over it. If she tells me her last boyfriend had a giant****should I be upset because mine is tiny compared to his. No I get over it. I encourage you to become enlightened be more sexually explicit with your boyfriend, maybe you should even give him a hand job blow job in the car sometime, then take is wallet and steal 20. But laugh about it get over it, role play if you must.
 agenteightysix
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 87
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:44:37 PM
The reference come into play when one is obsessed by their partners past, and how it effects the future. Many men have to think about an instance such as there girlfriend having been raped. It is not an apples to apple comparison, nor could it be. The point is you might need to let go of what ever horrible things are in the past and move on. Esp. a botched hand job.
 MyFunIsAnArtForm
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 88
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:26:42 PM
The past is the past. If history repeats it self then that's another story. Some people make mistakes and don't repeat them. You'll have to choose in this case.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 89
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:54:26 PM
Nothing to worry about.
The guy's being honest with you and giving you what I call the "Full disclosure" before you two make the plunge. It's not a big deal. Be happy! Life is short enough as it is without having to micromanage and worry about those things!
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 90
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/15/2008 8:39:34 PM

Prostitution has been hated since it’s inception, not by men, but by women. Not because it degrades women. Women will gleefully prostitute themselves out for goodies, they just despise the idea of having to compete for it. Competition lowers costs, it improves the quality of the product. This would be great for sex, wonderful men, and the ruin of the kunts. Women loathe having to compete for anything and the thought of having the one thing they can offer men commoditized scares the living hell out of them. They will fight to keep it illegal and would sooner have abortion made illegal than have prostitution decriminalized.

I don't have a problem with prostitution. If men are stupid enough to let women take advantage of them, why should I care? I think they should make it legal. I don't remotely feel I am competing with prostitutes for anything. When they deal with men, it is to sell them a service, it isn't anything personal.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 95
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:18:49 PM
The guy only went with her because he was on the verge of suicide.

Ask yourself: If you were feeling low, and you were persuaded by a handsome lothario to sleep with you, and then persuaded you to take him out to dinner as well, would you consider yourself to be a monster or evil, in some way? Or would you simply say that "things happen", and you were "going with your feelings"?

Would you blame one of your female friends who had a gardener like Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives, and who was screwing her, and who kept finding things for him to do around the house, in order to keep having sex with her? How is he worse than such a woman?

If you accept your friends for what they did in a moment of weakness, then why do you not do the same for this man? If you are really compatible, then surely this is because you understand him, and you know that you are not perfect either.

Relationships are about relating to other people, and relating is about understanding others, particularly their pain. If you ever have any hope of establishing a relationship with ANY man, then you have to be able to understand their pain. For a man to contemplate suicide, he must be in far more pain, than having several knives stabbed through your chest, arms, and other parts of the body, and it must be constantly there, 24 hours a day, every day, for months. Realise that you have no idea just how much pain he was in, or you would never have doubted his need.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 96
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/16/2008 5:30:31 PM
OP, you might want to commiserate with the guy who began this thread: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11205204.aspx
 shyava
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 98
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/17/2008 3:59:02 PM
What happened in the past stays in the past. Be happy in the present.
 screenangel
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 100
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/17/2008 6:41:58 PM
You should really let it go and move on. What he did 10 years ago is history and should not affect you. He was honest with you, loves you and you're happy with him. Don't think of useless ways to defeat success in your life.
 shmodzilla
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 104
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/18/2008 7:12:57 AM
If you are looking for a guy who didn't do at least one stupid spontaneous thing in his life that he regrets good luck on your search. In fact that would be a great thread i might start that.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 106
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:01:09 AM
You do have to commend him on his honesty. Get tested for stds and then decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with him.
 GoofBall311
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 114
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/2/2009 2:38:51 PM
I hear hookers are fun. If I had a ton of money I would just buy 5 of them to pleasure me 24/7. Not a big deal. Men like sex, and sometimes they pay for it.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 122
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/2/2009 7:40:09 PM

One night when he was walking home he was approached by a prostitute/hooker (a young law student paying her way through college apparently!) and he agreed to pay her £20 for a hand job. They got in a car and parked up, only to be apprehended by the police who had been watching her. So he never got his hand-job and instead ended up in court, was fined and now has a criminal record.



The best looking hookers are usually cops.
 Nate714
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 127
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/25/2009 3:39:40 AM
WOW! Really, if this is the case of how women think I'm screwed for life.
I went thru a very very very down state, and I didn't know what to do, becuase I felt like a less of a person for not having sex(mind you I recived harrasement for 2 years at a job, anybody I was open enough to think of as a freind, and even girls I really liked about my virginity at 22) I wanted to know what sex was like, yet at the same time I didn't want to do that with a girl that was a pro.

But I did , I recived a bj from a girl, and I got tested a week latter. I'm negative! NEGATIVE on an STD's and plan on making sure of it!!! Thankfully, the point is I'm never doing it again, a 27 minute blow job for that scare, risk, cost, and dirty feeling wasn't worth it. I don't hate my guts as much as I did before though.

WHY??? Because I didn't use some girl like these alot of guys do, I didn't get her drunk, I didn't fake emotion to sleep with her, I was honest, and I plan on being honest with whoever I get in a relationship with. I'm scared though, because of judgement from the girl I want to be with, because I did something I'm not proud of. I needed a fix, a reason not to end everything, to know what I was missing out on, to know I'm human and as good as anybody else.

I F*cked up, so what, thats life! Girls stay with abusers, cheaters, liars, amoungst a bunch of other things, and they get in condomless relationships, and have chances of diease and just damage in their lives from those who've they invested their heart into. Not counting the hurt from some guy who said they love them, or a one night stand encounter with a stranger that cared nothing about them.

This girl I did this with, is close to my age, and I wanted to let her know I'm the caring guy I am! I bought her food at the store $30 worth of alot of food a different day, and I'm willing to help her help herself.She tried to seduce me again during my helping hand, and I said NO! No I didn't want that anymore, I want a relationship with a girl, not a fling or a bust a nut session.
Why did I do it then?
Weakness, self doubt of my own worth, rejection because of inexp. rejection because I'm too strung held on the idea of sex and what the craving I have had for numerous year,s, and the realiztion i'm a sex addict(yes I"m a virgin sex addict, and addiction has nothing to do with physical, it's about psychology with the mind and the plearusre relesing compounds your body creates).

That's the worst in my opinion, knowing so much, yet being held back no matter how good of a person you are, no matter all the things you try, no matter anything, yet it's the everything that would make one's self loose hope. Your ownself defating it self and nothing you could do about it.
I did something, and I can forgive myself for it, I'm not doing it again no matter how hard to fight the urge. The point is I had to forgive myself for such a mistake, for me wanting and feeling nothing towards her other than compasion for her soul, and wishing her the best as I would with anyone else in need. I can forgive my past, so I can forgive hers too!!!!!
Which is what I want, I want someone who wants to be with me, for me, not my past failures held agaisnt me because I care about them, and they may be judgemental.

Considering people my age have 3-5 plus partners at 22 on average!!! really! Really, it's sick and their in a higher chance than me of having something because the frequecy, and the numbers add real up quick. And a bj can give you an std, but I've been checked and proven clean, and the chaces are minimal at best of catching something from oral compared to vaginal or anal.

Either way 10years!!! He was honest with you becuase he cares enough about you to know you deserve to know everything about him, he wants no secrets bewteen you considering you two are possibly going to get married, he wants you purely because of you! Not the past, not all that you have grown from and became the person you are today.

People loose their virginity around 18 90% of the time or before, which means lots of sex prior to me and her meeting. I can't hold her past against her ! Why should I, because they were living their life, and having enjoyment from someone, someone they cared about, maybe the false pretions from a way of a one night stand (which I don't care for no matter the irony of my situation). The point is what happend in our past doesn't mean we repeat it, if we learn from it. And it doesn't make us any less of a person that we are today, it defines us as an induvidual. Stay with him longer because what really matters IS YOU LOVE HIM & HE LOVES YOU TOO!!! Be with him, enjoy every minute of it it, life is too short, specially to hold every wrong breath made, against any chance that comes with the opportuinity to take our breath away, and make us happy. Because honestly that's all we ever want out of datting and marriage right? Just to be happy with who were with, and them to be happy too! Love-

Yes let it go!~ Let what happens in the present and future determin where you too head tomorow.
 traci1963
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 131
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/25/2009 6:56:52 AM
Hi there i dont think its such a good idea??????? that ur should be concerned about...thats why there there so guys can enjoy!!!!!!!!!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 134
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/25/2009 9:25:03 AM

WOW! Really, if this is the case of how women think I'm screwed for life.

Not hardley. If you read a few threads, you'll soon discover that the majority of women do not want a guy asking about her past and they are pretty vocal about insisting that ``the past is the past.'' (I can only speculate on why.) Needless to say, any woman who adheres to that, will not be asking you too many questions, especially if you insist that she go first. If she isn't volunteering her sexual history, you have no obligation to volunteer yours. It's a real conundrun for those who wish to nit pick over the difference between one the night stands they've had and your hour with an escort.
 stunt groom
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 139
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/25/2009 6:12:05 PM
Whatever happened b4 you met him made him the guy you fell in love with.. Whatver happens from here on out will decide if you stay in love with him. .. Max nix..
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 142
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:38:39 AM

What if YOU had been approached by a male escort, made the decision to go ahead and have some kind of sexual contact with him, got caught by the police, and now had a criminal record for it. Would he be understanding? Forgiving?

I would be. In fact, I'd consider visiting a male escort to be a better choice for her to have sex than getting picked up in a bar. I wouldn't think anything about her getting caught by the police except that the law has no business being involved. I'd lose more respect for the law, but that's about it.
 fetish4u
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 144
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History
My fiance went with a hooker before he met me
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:02:46 PM
He was with a hooker before you.Before is the key word.I don't ask my girlfriend about her past and she doesn't ask mine.I would never cheat on her.The past is the past.
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