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 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 26
What is your definition of sex?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
When I was younger it meant any nude encounter

That's incorrect. Sex may have a gray area when it comes in context of it being used, but that's not even near any gray area. Not even close. It's not sex, and would be silly to call it sex. That's not just my opinion. :)

or even sleeping together.

JUST sleeping together or "sleeping together"? I'm assuming you mean just sleeping in the same bed as more-than-friends. No, that's not sex dude.

Now some people don’t even consider oral sex as sex.

Yeah, it's a sexual act but it's not sex left alone. Just because you throw an adjective before it doesn't mean the phrase = the word s-e-x. Come on, now. You can't re-define "sex" for whatever-you-consider-naughty.

Simply put: In order to say "I had sex last night with Sally!" you can't at the same time say you're still a virgin. A virgin is someone who has had sex. You can say you had sexual relations but are still a virgin -- okay. Saying you had sex, by itself with no adjectives = you had intercourse. It's REALLY simple, dude.

Only intercourse is sex and sleeping together, without sex, is common. How far does cuddling go?

Yes, sex = vaginal intercourse. The only gray area I could see would be anal sex. Because it is genital-to-almost-genital-region intercourse. But technically no. However, if someone asked if you had sex and "all" you did was anal -- only saying "No" (if you were to answer the question) would be lying by omission, IMO. You'd be put in position to say that you had anal intercourse but not vaginal ... or at least say "No, not technically" and leave it at that (then they know you're not wanting to give the full scoop so there's no deception).

Values & religion have nothing to do with the definition of sex, left alone by itself. Strong "moral majority" values may put oral sex as bad (or worse) than vaginal intercourse. But then again, having sexual relations with someone shouldn't = the word sex by itself.

Again, a virgin guy saying "I had sex with Sally" can't mean he had oral sex, got a mean handjob, or finger-banged her. :) Your values could scoff at the those other forms of sexual relations as "bad" or nearly as "bad" -- fine. But that doesn't mean you "had sex" in that context.

There's a difference between X = sex, and X = sexual and as bad, as fulfilling, or in the same realm of naughtiness as ACTUALLY having sex.
 ConfidentHonestGuy
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 27
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/12/2013 2:22:17 AM
"I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 28
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/12/2013 5:45:43 AM
if i only look at the menu im not paying for a meal so oral is not sex it only looking at the menu
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 29
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/12/2013 8:04:31 AM
In my opinion any type of sexual contact is sex,including oral sex and masturbation. Some people say this would kissing,but then I ask them about the last time they kissed a parent.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 30
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/12/2013 3:18:24 PM
It all depends upon the definition of the word "is". Don't believe it? Just ask Bill Clinton...........
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/12/2013 3:44:48 PM
(op)

This thread title might be my opportunity to express something that confused me so much when I was young.

For a long time I didn't know that when people said "sex" they really only meant sexual intercourse specifically. One of the times I'd hear it come up was when people were talking about foreplay, and whether or not they were interested in foreplay, needed it more or not, etc. And "foreplay" was therefore another thing that confused me. When I found out what the dilemma was that everyone else in the world was having, it didn't make any damn sense. It always seemed logical to me that any kind of sexual contact or activity was "sex". And what they were describing as foreplay just seemed to me to be part of sex, despite what particular thing each person did or didn't do. So when the question was posed if foreplay was desired or whatever, I'd just think of course, duh. What the hell do you mean, I'd think. I didn't realize that when someone was talking about "just" having sex, they meant just intercourse - no "foreplay" (nothing else but intercourse). And I always thought that "just intercourse" is pretty pointless, a waste of time...isn't it?? What the hell was everybody doing? Why didn't they just stay at home and do it themselves, if they were just having intercourse and be done? Why even bother going out and finding someone and do any degree of courtship or whatever...just to have "just intercourse", when on top of all that, apparently another issue was that the intercourse was over too quickly (for the women, alledgedly.)

Is foreplay required for good sex? Are we stupid or something?
Is oral sex considered sexual? Are we stupid or something?
Is playing with boobies or fondling a penis considered sexual? Are we stupid or something?

And then...to make sure my mind is blown completely...I've heard that, at least in some circles, "foreplay" now means stuff like texting, going out to dinner, calling on the phone to say hi, a greeting card. Forget the word "romance", it's now "foreplay"...because, hell, apparently we never understood what "romance" is anyway. This must all mean that now sexual foreplay is still not part of the picture...you give flowers or send a text, and you've had you're foreplay, not romance, then you have the sex, which I guess therefore really is still just intercourse.

Hehe...ok, hope ya'll enjoyed that as much as I did.
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 32
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 12:07:01 AM
I consider all foreplay as a lead to sex
so why would I have foreplay with someone I didnt want to have sex with?
and yes, oral sex is sex.
if I just made out with someone...
but didnt end up having sex..
it is still foreplay...and I would only do that with someone I am in a relationship with but we had both agreed not to have sex yet. so we are kissing but we know we arent going to have sex at that time in our relationship.

I think I am going to look up sex in the dictionary.
just for the hek of it.
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 1:25:03 AM
Well...obviously it's another issue of limitations of language use.

A sexual act...something sexual...and sex, might be different concepts. And you can use the word, "sex", in different sentences and mean slightly different things. ^ Masturbation? Maybe masturbation is sex too, but it's just having sex with yourself.

Yep, I'm sure it happens...two people get together, one says they're a virgin, hasn't had any sex, but doesn't disclose that they've participated in oral with a hundred people.

Hehe...what a funny conversation.
 ShelbySask4friend1
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 34
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 1:40:16 AM
I consider reading a thread on pof about sex, while masturbating at the same time, and typing with one hand , the definition of sex...
 femlady22
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 35
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 2:16:56 AM
I used to define it quite narrowly myself. But then after taking a sexualities course I realized I had created a narrow definition for myself. In the course it was revealed people try to adapt a more "heteronormative" definition so that heterosexual sex of penile penetration of the vagina is the most commonly accepted definition. The problem with that definition is it negates the experiences of homosexual people who have only engaged in manual or oral or anal sex. Does that men they remain virgins forever? From that point on I redefined sex in my mind so that the definition includes oral, manual, anal or vaginal sex. So all forms of genital contact between both sexes, heterosexual or homosexual, whether ejaculation is achieved or not, is sex.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 36
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 7:05:10 AM
The biological definition of sex - I believe - is the act of insemination that allows the potential combination of genetic characteristics, whether or not that actually occurs (impregnation). Anything else is foreplay. Technically, then, intercourse with a condom is not sex, as it precludes insemination.

Personally, I'd include any activity where one (or more) people stimulate another person to achieve orgasm. That's a pretty wide range.
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 37
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 8:10:33 AM
Medical,Technical and Definitive jargon aside:
Sex is a BUFFET...a cornucopia of recipe delights a la carte from the "Joy of Sex" and "Kama Sutra" and your own creative cooking skills......tonight's menu may start with appetizer erotica, a sampler of the sensual, meat and potatoes of mutual ecstasy and most deliciously decadent dessert that leaves all partaking sated and satisfied......anyone hungry? :D

(dang, i got to stop eating my chocolate and reading trashy romance novels.......)
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 38
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/13/2013 1:33:09 PM
The problem with this post is the nature of the question: "What is YOUR definition of sex?"
Of course, most are going to answer in such a manner that comports with their desires.
Me, I tend to look at this issue from the point of view of the woman I would be involved with: would this activity I'm engaging in be construed as "sex" by my partner were she to know about it.
This, of course, would let me off the hook were I to kiss my parents but get me in serious yak-squeeze were I to plant one on the attractive lady at the pool.
Analogously, instead of defining this for yourself, ask what behavior would you approve of your partner engaging in. In my world, intercourse is only a small portion of what I would classify as "sex." There is so much more and some of it doesn't even have to end in orgasm.

TK

I thought drink's posting at msg 62 insightful
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 39
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/14/2013 12:19:13 PM

The biological definition of sex - I believe - is the act of insemination that allows the potential combination of genetic characteristics, whether or not that actually occurs (impregnation). Anything else is foreplay. Technically, then, intercourse with a condom is not sex, as it precludes insemination.


Totally disagree with this.

Biologically, when humans have sex they secrete hormones that produce a feeling of belonging, such as Serotonin, Tryptophan and endorphins.

Sex in humans was not just to procreate, but to create a bond between the female and male, that way, the male, instead of taking off, would hang around and try to help with the offspring. Part of that process was to hide when the female would be in heat, or ready to ovulate. So if you look at the whole biology of sex, there's a hell of a lot more than just reproduction.

Read "The Sperm Wars" for more details.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 40
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/14/2013 12:38:06 PM
Sally says ..Im a virgin ... John says but I saw you behind the locker room with a football player and heard moaning and heavy breathing ..Sally says oh that ,, I just blew them ..John says them who ?..Sally says the football team ...John says which team ?... Sally says both teams ...John says which game .. Sally says every game ..John says well I'm glad you kept your self pure for me ...;..I dont think so
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 41
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/19/2018 2:38:04 AM
I can't say what I'm thinking but sex is sex on any level....and as for religion that's another story and lame as the physical thing is human.....this just amazes me at the topics here sometimes and the sounds of boredom....lol
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 42
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/20/2018 5:54:54 AM
Personally I see penetrative sex, PIV as actual sex and anal as sex.
I don't see oral as sex even though it is called 'oral sex'.
To me it is just foreplay and I don't think it should even be called sex.
Fingering is not sex. or any other type of touching or even using other objects.
It isn't sex to me unless it is PIV.

Oral, fingering/touching is just playing/foreplay.
Not sex (imo/personally).

I only count on my 'list' people who I have had PIV sex with.
Not those who fondled me or
licked
lol
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 43
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/20/2018 8:54:55 PM
I say any activity that involves sexual arousal and orgasm is sex. Not just that which can lead to conception.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 44
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/20/2018 10:05:01 PM
Sex is all in your head....lol
Sex is as stated above...I agree 100%
#75 May I ask...
If your partner came home and said "I only ate her out, I didn't have sex so I didn't cheat."
Would this wash?
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 45
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/21/2018 3:03:41 AM

Sex is all in your head....lol
Sex is as stated above...I agree 100%
#75 May I ask...
If your partner came home and said "I only ate her out, I didn't have sex so I didn't cheat."
Would this wash?

It's cheating because it is sexual in nature but it is not sex.
Sexual:
Of, relating to, involving, or characteristic of sex, sexuality, the sexes, or the sex organs and their functions. Implying or symbolizing erotic desires or activity.
Also only cheating if I didn't agree to it and consent to it.
Obviously if I was unaware it was cheating in principle, unless I somehow was alright with that, but I can't be if I didn't know.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 46
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/21/2018 10:31:35 AM
There's different levels of sex. Let's use the baseball metaphor:

1st Base - French-kissing (tongues connecting), feeling each other over the clothes
2nd Base - Feeling each other under the clothes, can include handjobs
3rd Base - Oral sex
Home Plate - Penetration of a penis to an orifice (vaginal or anal)

We don't typically say we've had sex with someone unless we've gone to come plate. But if we did oral or handjobs we may have partially completed the sexual act. When you play baseball and only hit a ball to get you to first base but then get out, you've still been playing baseball. Sex is a step-by-step process. Sometimes you go from base to base and other times you head straight for home. There's a reason baseball has been used as a metaphor for sex so much because it works.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 47
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/22/2018 8:27:50 AM
Msg: 64
But legally in the state I was in any form of penetration of vagina, anus. or mouth with any body part or object.


There must be more to it than that.

Because dentists are having sex 10 times a day with multiple partners, though they do wear gloves, so they do practice safe sex.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 48
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/22/2018 9:52:11 AM
yeah, but that's only oral, and like duh, evvvveryone knows oral isn't sex

:)
 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 49
What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/22/2018 12:19:59 PM


Because dentists are having sex 10 times a day with multiple partners

wow, if you’re seeing a dentist that repeatedly sticks his penis in your mouth, dude, you need to find a new dentist
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 50
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What is your definition of sex?
Posted: 3/22/2018 3:04:38 PM

wow, if you’re seeing a dentist that repeatedly sticks his penis in your mouth, dude, you need to find a new dentist


You must have a male dentist. If you switch to female, you will never go back!
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