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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in y      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MaccaFan
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 5
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt? Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Dump him in a New York minute.
End of relationship.
 iitzzyra
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 6
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:43:47 AM
Wow. Creepy and Crazy. I wouldn't care if I've been with the guy for a long time. Something is wrong with him. He just don't trust her or probably psycho perverted guy .

I would definitely leave him, delete any phone number or e-mail or any sort of communication. Call my home phone service provide, if I have a home phone, and have them block his phone number, or at least get a caller id and have that feature that no one can call me at home with a block number. Never answer my house and cell phone if I don't know the phone number. Change my lock and add more locks haha. Whatever I can think of, there's no other chance...
 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 7
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 11:59:55 AM
I wonder if there is a law against videotaping someone without consent. If so, I would have the police thoroughly check his place to see if he's gotten footage of her surreptitiously. Aside from that, it's creepy and there is no way I'd let him come near me ever again. Huge violation.
 justme1201
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 8
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:09:12 PM
I'm sorry, but this is a no-brainer. No way, no how, would I ever see the man again. There is no reason good enough for her to stay with this man. A call to the police is definitely in order; it's hard to say if a law has been broken (state law varies) but I'd bet they'd send someone out to help her check out the rest of her place, and to at least take a statement and then talk to the guy.

Please do urge her to change the locks immediately.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 9
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:37:18 PM
i agree with fortygeek

glad you found out
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 10
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 2:09:56 PM
What we think she should do is of no consequence. She will do what she wants to do, and obviously, that means staying with a man who has no qualms about violating her privacy, because she 'loves him'. Any sane person would immediately break up with someone who did such a thing. It's a no-brainer. She, for some reason, doesn't realize this and you aren't going to change her mind. Perhaps, when he continues to violate her in other ways, she MAY come to her senses. Or she may end up on the evening news as the lastest victim of a crazed lover.
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 12
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 5:20:56 PM

Change the locks, block his phone number, and never look back!

Dude, this guy is creepy and controlling. Unless she's into that (which few are), she needs to run fast and far! If he's already doing this without cause, how do you think the REST of any relationship would pan out?


yup, heeeeee's a nutbag
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 13
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 7:57:58 PM
She caught this guy seriously invading her privacy.

Who knows how long he's been spying on her before, and how he's been spying on her in the past, before being caught?

Who knows what oher invasions of her privacy have already gone on, (perhaps her mail has been read? maybe her phone conversations have been eavesdropped on? maybe her computer has been hacked?)
Who knows what invasions of her privacy will take place in the future?

I think she should call the cops and sever all contact with the guy


she just can't do that to the guy.
WTF?
This guy's a creepy stalker, and she'd rather worry about what will happen to him, rather than worry about what he's doing to her?
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 14
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/7/2008 8:05:21 PM
I feel like I'm watching "Twelve Angry Men".





~ds~
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 15
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 10:41:38 AM

I'm sorry, but this is a no-brainer. No way, no how, would I ever see the man again. There is no reason good enough for her to stay with this man. A call to the police is definitely in order; it's hard to say if a law has been broken (state law varies) but I'd bet they'd send someone out to help her check out the rest of her place, and to at least take a statement and then talk to the guy.


I sduggested to her that calling the police would be a good thing. Se's afraid that if she gets them involved, that it could affect his employment. I told her that is the price he has to pay for being such a dumbass. But I think she doesn't want to call the police is because she still has feelings for this guy.


Please do urge her to change the locks immediately.


I did that when she first told me about it. She said that she did get her ey back from him, but she's not going to change her locks because she don't think that he will come back into her place without her permission. I told her that it's her call, but I would change the locks like yesterday.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 16
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 10:59:32 AM

But from what I can tell from the OP no recording had yet taken place. He was caught setting it up. At that point no crime had taken place. We cannot arrest people for thought crimes. At least not yet. Hence there is no law to charge him with.


He might not have recorded anything, but he did let it slip to her that she knew that she had a friend over even though she didn't tell him. I think he probably was already watching her and was there installing another one or adjusting it. Who knows, but I do know that I told her what I thought and she isn't listening.

She just told me a few minutes ago that he apologized to her and said that the only reason he did that was the he "loves" her so much that he would hate for anything to happen to her. He said that he just went a little overboard. But he's truly sorry and have seen the wrong he has done. He asked for her forgivness and she gave it to him.

She said that he also bought her a stuffed teddy bear and a card. She said it was so sweet and that any man that can do that must mean what he says and deserves a second chance.

I told her to just be careful and still change her locks. I also told her to still get the police involved or at least get it on record. She said that she isn't going to call the police and that's that.

So I guess I will just drop that angle. Some ppl can be so blind.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 17
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:42:47 AM
sweetness-one said,


I don't suppose this really would be a case for the police though, considering the man does live at that address. Best of luck to your friend.


The thing is that he doesn't live with her. She just gave him a key for what reason I do not know. But he doesn't live with her as she has told it to me.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 18
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 12:14:35 PM
Wow...Mr Video has been b*tchslapped, beaten, kneecapped, had the camera in question AND somebody's boot shoved up his ass...Jail oughta be like a freakin' VACATION!
Seriously, unless there are peeps here who are duly qualified legal or law enforcement personnel, all the wrangling is beside the point. The OP's friend needs to be convinced that this man is bigtime bad news, encouraged to change locks, etc, file a police report even if the man cannot actually be prosecuted.
OP, tell your friend that most likely, if she lets this man back into her life, very personal moments of said life will probably be on the internet for all the world to see.
If her BF was so concerned about her safety, the old slogan " Nobody ever raped a .38" comes to mind.
Cindy O
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 19
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 7:19:25 PM
Well, as you said, she still has feelings for this man for some reason. Sounds like she needs more mental help than the scammer she is dating. She sounds desperate and extremely insecure. She must be getting something she needs from him, or else she wouldn't let this go on. As someone said earlier, this is a no brainer!

A teddy bear and a card?? She should be checking the rest of the apartment for other cameras and not only changing all locks, phones and other means of communications, but trying to find another place to live.

If he previously viewed here company, he probably has tape of here undressing too. This man is SICK and she is enabling him. I would be running so fast it would make his head spin.

I personally know about to many men taping the women they bed. One guy has literally hundreds of tapes of him and a lot of women he slept with along with many tapes of him and his GF of many years having sex and she knows nothing about them. He has cameras secretly installed in his bedroom. Either she has no idea or she simply doesn't want to know. I know I would be wondering what was in the cabinet my bf keeps locked over years of being together, and refused to tell me about what was in it!! Some women just would rather put up with some doubts and lies than be alone. As I said, they need as much help, or more, as the one using them!

Sad!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 20
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:41:50 PM
why doesn't she take a man into the bedroom and put on a show for the looser along with somebody there to protect her,somebody there to change the locks, getting ready to press charges and follow it all the way through.
this is not a light matter.
this is demeaning, control, manipulation and abuse.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 21
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/9/2008 10:09:55 AM

I would take his equipment and cut it up into little pieces.

OUCH! Lorena Bobbit rides again?
Add...hell, what WOULD you call it? Diced weiner? to
b*tchslapped, beaten, kneecapped, had the camera in question AND somebody's boot shoved up his ass...Jail oughta be like a freakin' VACATION!

Vacation my ass,with all this, jail would seem like HEAVEN!

What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?

Well, he'd get fired as my partner...his "severance pay" would be his spy cams shoved up his rear end so far that even ONSTAR couldn't find them. Have fun explaining THIS to the Emergency Room staff!
Cindy O
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 22
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 MyFunIsAnArtForm
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 23
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/9/2008 10:18:36 AM
First she did it without your consent and ready to violate your privacy because she's jealous.

I've been in that situation before and you need to tell her you’re going to get a gallon of milk and not come back or you need to change the locks, and your social habits to evade her. It will never get better physically or mentally for either of you. It's unfortunate that she has this problem that is living rent free in her head but if she doesn't do what it takes to help her self out there's nothing you can do.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 25
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/9/2008 5:18:12 PM

What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?

I'd charge him royalties for the juicy stuff he'd be recording. Might as well make a little profit.

(Oh, the net business happens after I turn him in to the police for a multitude of criminal acts, including stalking/invasion of privacy and just being an overall jackazz!!)
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 26
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/11/2008 6:51:32 AM
He had his own key to the apartment meaning he was living there…
I don't think a key means that a person is a resident.

Someone may leave another person a key to their dwelling for whatever reason.
-perhaps they want a friend to check on their place while they are away
-perhaps they give a key to a friend who stores extra items in their home, that the friend has no room for in their own home.

Just giving someone a key does not imply that they have permission of the home's occupant to place spy cameras in the resident.


I may give someone permission to enter my house, while I'm absent, for one of any number of reasons.
But that permission certainly does not include the right to install monitoring devices in my bedroom, or anywhere else in my home, with my knowledge.


but what I read was someone who was claiming to be protecting…
What I read was: someone was caught very red-handed in the act of a serious invasion of privacy, and attempted to use the excuse that he was being protecting.


People who use violence to retaliate against anything are in my opinion… unstable
So are people who assume they have the right to secretly invade another's privacy.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 27
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/11/2008 6:55:04 AM

Hello? He made reference to something that occurred in her house, something he was NOT present for and had NO prior knowledge of. He was CAUGHT installing a small camera in her BEDROOM without her CONSENT OR KNOWLEDGE. If he was so “concerned” for her safety, then why not install an alarm with a monitoring service, put up cameras on the OUTSIDE of the house, or get her a big ass dog? This is NOT an episode of The Freakin’ Untouchables here; we don’t need Perry Mason and Della Street to figure this one out. It’s the case of the Peepin’ Perv, Matlock.



That may be so, but there's a really good line from one of my favorite movies:

"Training Day"


"It's now what you know, it's what you can prove."


Unless they find other cameras in her apartment with recorded footage on them, there's really nothing much that can be done legally.
 blondbabenga
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 28
What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/11/2008 7:51:21 AM
You were right to tell her to call the cops. No matter how much you "think" you love someone and they are so sorry, it will never change. I would also change the locks and stop ALL contact. VERY STRANGE!!
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 29
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What would you do if you caught your partner installing spy cams in your apt?
Posted: 11/12/2008 10:50:36 AM
**Update**
Some on here were asking if she had slept with him at his place. And she said the answer to that is yes. I asked her is she was worried that he caught on film while she was there and she told me no, she trust he wouldn't do something like to her. Then I said to her; wasn't he just about to do that you when you caught him in the act. She then said to me that I dwell too much on a person's past mistake. So I dropped that and listened to what else she had to say to me.

She told me that he apologized again and cooked her, a nice home cooked meal at his place. This guy is good. Using the home cooked meal and the teddy bear to get her forget about what she caught him doing. She said that he also emailed her some old news articles about all the women that had been robbed and sexually assaulted in her town. He had attached to it some "Stats" that reportedly explained some ties between single women and being raped.

What she pasted for me to read is pretty stupid stuff and I can’t believe that it’s real. I think he just made it up to scare her and make himself look good. But here is some what I had to read.

A detailed study has shown that women with protective boyfriends are 5 times less likely to be assaulted than women who have an uncaring boyfriend or no one at all. 60% of rapists say that if they see that a woman has a protective boyfriend, they will avoid her and move on to some other women. So the conclusion of this study is that women with protective boyfriends are less likely to victims of rape and assaults.

It sounds so fake to me, but I can’t seem to get her to listen. I told her to be careful because I think this guy has done something like this in the past. But I can’t be sure if that is true or not. She told me I worry too much and I should look at the fact that she is safe and happy with him and that all that matters at the moment.

So anybody has any ideas on what I should say to her or how I can get through to her.
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