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 witchfingers2001
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 71
Do I ever miss physical touch!Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I have a sad story to tell. I am married to a very nice man. He and I are good friends and we share 2 great children. Thank God for my daughter who is 11. She will still hug Mom and let me touch her and play with her hair. My son who is 14 is at that "don't touch me anytime or anywhere stage", but when asked he will hug me if only briefly.
My husband on the other hand will kiss me good bye like I am his sister and manage not to touch me except very briefly with his lips. I ache for a human touch on the arm, the back, anywhere, not sexually, just to touch. I miss it alot...Therefor...I am here.
Another thing is that I work at a nursing home on an alzheimers unit and I enjoy giving out hugs to the needy residents. They seem to respond well to it. Most of them anyway.
When someone is dying, we tend to sit with that person when time permits if there is no family. We also have palliative care workers whose job is to support family and the person who is dying. But it an amazing idea to adopt a senior and there are many volunteer organizations who would love to have you.

 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 72
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 5:29:38 PM

"I guess I am confused about when this thread became about you again? "

I am getting a little tired of the nonsense that actually has to do with you being annoyed over another website and a man names George. That was all over more than a year ago, get over it.

It gets tiresome people having their own issues and trying to put their issue over on others that don't have that issue.


I have only talked to one man named George, and he had issues knowing how old he was, he invited me to go on a cruise with him the first week we spoke and it was just to needy for me to be interested in him, he wanted me to leave my underage kid and my 19 year old in Tn and travel with him between Canada and Florida...Gosh I would hope you wouldnt have fallen for someone like him!

I think you must have me completely confused with someone else. I wasnt aware of your existance until I read some of your posting on the forums here last spring...at which time you didnt seem to be as bitter as you have been lately, or maybe I just didnt notice it. So sorry if you think Im someone Im not.

As far as missing someone's touch I dont think anyone is confusing the need for the Right touch from the Right person vs just any touch for anyone. I have to agree that missing that ache is also a wonderful thing...a daily reminder that when I find someone WORTHY of spending the rest of my life with Ill never let them forget how much I appreciate them being a part of my life.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 73
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 5:33:57 PM

Mae ------------- you know I love and respect you.

"...I don't lose sleep over it either...."

Thank God, you had me worried.



...Don't be.....I'm recieving therapy....massage therapy, that's always "stimulating"

...maeflowers
 Smart Lass
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 74
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 5:45:08 PM
Every single day.
 SweetSmartNSassy2
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 75
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 6:01:38 PM
Even though I'm a massage therapist, touch a lot of people every week and get massaged myself, it's not the same as being in a warm, loving relationship with a man (or woman, if that be your preference) and being touched in so many ways. Not all of them have to lead to sex, either.

I work on a fair amount of senior citizens, VERY senior. they've lost their spouses, most of their families and friends and I'm a fair substitute. I say that because even though I give a good massage (people keep making appointments, so I guess I must!), it doesn't measure up to the touch of a life partner. This is a very touch-phobic country we live in and it's a crying shame. Being touched by another human is so powerful, comforting and healing. This very stressed-out society needs a lot of it, be it from family or massage therapists.

A client of mine, an ob/gyn, said that when he met with a women after surgery, sat by her bed and held her hand as he explained things, she would recover faster and with fewer complications. No surprise to me, but he was new to the body-mind-spirit connection. Boarder babies have been known to die if deprived of human touch long enough. Baby animals will die without the comforting touch of their mother. It's a powerful thing, this sense of touch.....
 nenebean
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 77
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 6:31:09 PM
I call it "skin hunger" and it's a bear. Have you read that book about there being five love languages? I'm a physical touch person...and married a guy whose language was acts of service (but it turned out the acts were for others, not me). If it weren't for my children, I would not have survived--and I do mean that literally.

But now I'm a divorcee and only a couple years away from the dreaded empty nest. I too have been given gift certificates for massages but have never used them. Why? I don't know...I don't want a stranger touching me, maybe? When you meet me casually you might think I'm outgoing, but in reality I am very, very shy and don't open up to others easily.

There are times I fear I'll be alone forever...and times my fantasies that I'll find true love take over.
 KernerDisciple
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 80
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:07:12 PM
What a great post. I am acutely aware of how much I miss touching and being touched.
Formerly a health care provider, and time and again saw the benefits of touch on reducing stress, and even pain. Refreshing to read your comments in contrast to the vapid " comfortable in jeans and at a black tie affair" twattle. After a while you wonder if you are the only one honestly examining the realities (good and bad) of being single.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 81
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:11:59 PM

Now, things have changed considerably in that I have met someone who is every bit as affectionate as I can be with the right person.



...Love to hear those success stories...I will continue to wait for "my turn"


...maeflowers
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 83
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:45:00 PM
Ayumu, I know exactly how you feel when you mention the safe and secure part...there isnt another feeling that is close to it and it is hard to explain..I do think you did a great job explaining it.

I also know the feeling you are talking about with your ex, while the other person might physically be with you all the other emotions they are feelings, guilt remorse etc are being shared and while you might not know why you are aware they exist. And you are right it is a very ugly feeling.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 84
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 7:48:38 PM
Thank you all for reminding me.

I have now lived alone for close to five years (yes I have a dog and a cat but).

I work from a home office and seldom even leave the house. It gets pretty dang lonely.

I talked to my ex wife just tonight on the phone and found myself hinting at a “date”.

The #1 thing I always try to remember is ......

Not once - not one single time (except for naked having sex) in 20 years - did she touch me. Not my arm - not my leg not my face. Any type of affection is just not in her being. Her mom is even more of an ice queen. In all those years I never saw her touch anyone - not her husband - not one of her three daughters - not even a grand kid.

This is the very thing I always try to remember ... it helps me realize - there is just no logical reason to miss her. I've not even seen her in almost three years now .... maybe she grew another head (that could be another reason not to miss her lol).
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 87
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History
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 8:50:29 PM
"I think you must have me completely confused with someone else."

Same name and picture and attitude and need.

People can want touch, crave touch, demand touch, but unless the relationship is right the only feeling they will end up with is unfulfilled.

Of course, I want it all just like everone else in datingland. I won't waste my time dreaming. If it is mean to be, it will be. In the meantime, I have good stuff to do.

 lilmopeep
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 88
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:16:17 PM
I can live without it definitely! Go for a massage. Get a pet.
Not willing anymore to complicate my life. Wish I could find others who can understand this!
 MeShell22
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 90
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:30:44 PM
Absolutely the most difficult thing about being single for huggy type people like myself.
 MeShell22
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 91
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:37:23 PM
How sad!!! I just can't imagine it. I don't think it's normal or healthy to be that way....Wow. You really got ripped off in that relationship Ron.
 mopar123
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 92
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:55:03 PM
Have to say this post has brought out some very poignant feelings within me as well. I know about cold people and also know about being alone in a relationship. There is nothing worse than despair, I chose loneliness over that. At least lonely you can phone a friend, scan the net, do anything to fill in time.In despair, you are bereft of hope and without hope there is nothing, nothing at all. All of us here, even the nay sayers are here for a reason, I'm so thankful for this very human and humane post and to have been able to read and reflect on the responses from each of us. Thanks Mz Brooker for this pause in life and the true insight you've shared and allowed us to share.
Mopar
 Janice T.
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 93
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:50:10 AM
Just thinking about it, makes me melt. A caress is beautiful feeling.
 guy named ray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 94
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 7:19:57 AM
Just think how the people in nursing homes feel.
Or the elderly who live alone with no one to visit with them for a few minutes
and just hold their hand if nothing else.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 95
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History
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 8:08:28 AM
I was telling the OP that I used to do volunteer work in an old age home. Those lil faces would light up when I came into their room to chat. The stories they told me taught me much. To hug them or hold their hand? Gee, you would have thought I gave them the world. Just goes to show that the human touch can and does so very much for all of us....now quick, someone touch me!
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 96
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 10:21:06 AM
How that touch feels is a matter of velocity.
 jjinexile
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 98
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 11:52:55 AM
Anybody get a regular massage? I'm not talking about a happy ending or anything, but I do have a regularly scheduled massage. I also make time to see my little grand nieces and nephews from whom I can steal a hug.

But -- heavy sigh -- there is nothing like that softness on the back of your neck, his fingers tracing your curves, a silly kiss on my nose or just cuddling up just before sleep.
 rossal
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 99
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 12:45:21 PM
I read somewhere once, that we need something like 15 hugs a day ...just for mental health.

Babies die without touch. We as adults, don't die, but our spirit can.

I agree with what you said ismene1...twice!

I consider myself the poster-child for huggy-kissy, touchy-feely, but none of that going on; it has to be right.

Rossal
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 100
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 1:01:34 PM
Rossal, I think that is the *key point some people have failed to realize, just cause you miss a physical touch doesnt mean you are offering up your body to all comers...it has to be the RIGHT person and for the RIGHT reasons ...otherwise it isnt the right touch!

I remember when my aunt was in a nursing home and we would go after church, my kids would be all dressed up and some of the other people there would come out of their rooms to try and get to hold one of my children. My aunt would be shooing them out of her room ...it was so sad to watch how much they missed interaction with other people. The schools here in Tennessee have a program where the kids go to the different homes and sing at the holidays. I know some nursing home have pets but to me none of it is the same as when the right person takes your hand.
 selfsong
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 101
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 1:47:09 PM
op

oh god, i can relate to this.

went out not to long ago, ended up dancing. we did the slow dance thing and i was so overwhelmed by what i felt. the touch of a woman, me touching a woman, felt so great!!!!!

we both ended up talking about this, how one responds to that need that is missed

so yes, i had no idea how much i missed contact with a woman, guessed i got used to being alone!

 *Sanscheyle*
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 102
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 4:56:39 PM
OP, I've never really thought about missing physical touch...my kitten started "brushing my hair" last night by extending her paw out and continuously stroking my hair while another one of my cats was lying on my chest rubbing her head up under my chin as I was trying to read a novel. I'm pretty aloof anyway when it comes to touching anyone or having them touch me since I was raised by wolves according to my friends.

Some people need to be touched to feel alive while others need the constant flux of people around them at all times. I can honestly say that I need neither of the two..all I need is to lower my truck insurance right about now.

Sans
 selfsong
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:26:36 PM

need is to lower my truck insurance right about no



that will work too
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