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 safn1949
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 209
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Do I ever miss physical touch!Page 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

..Oh I quite agree with you daylillie, ain't nothing going to replace that feeling of a man's hands on your body, his lips brushing yours, his warm breathe in you're ear...


...maeflowers


Easy now....my hearts all a flutter,whew.
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 212
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/20/2008 10:53:47 PM
I remember a night years ago now. Sue and I were in bed, arms and legs all intertwined like two squid in a bucket. I was kissing her forehead and smelling her hair. She said something I thought at that moment was a little weird. She whispered into my neck, " I have to die first. I could never live without you." I just snuffled her hair and said, " I love you too."

Premonition? Who knows? Less than 24 hours later we were at a Christmas Eve party. She left me for a second to get a glass of wine and blew a massive cerebral aneurysm in the next room. I CPR'ed her until the EMS unit arrived. She was a neuro nurse and was taken to her own floor where they pulled the plug on her (she was dead when I was doing CPR-I felt her behind me, watching, stunned and then she went away. I knew she was gone then) the next afternoon and about a dozen "lucky" people received her organs. Merry Christmas from Sue and Dave!!

I have thought of those minutes we spent lying together that night. To me they define our relationship. I don't think two people could possibly have more skin to skin contact than what we had. We were not having sex (as stated - nice but that's not what this thread is about) but my GOD, if ever I felt like the two of us had ONE body and we, our two souls, were sharing it, THOSE were the moments. Those minutes are what I miss. The skin2skin. It really can transcend the senses.

Especially the last few years of our relationship we were both very physically affectionate. When we drove I always had a hand on her thigh or she'd be massaging my neck or shoulders. We walked hand in hand ALL the time. Oh ... except in malls when she could disappear like a master KGB operative into a store that had a 30% OFF sign in the window.

As a few posters have pointed out. Sex is easy. Too easy. It's even expected at times. I've resisted. I want THAT feeling again. I don't want some teenie bopper massage student "doing me" for $40 a half hour and trying not to puke at having to do some OLD dude who could be her gramps!

I have a puppy right now. She is incredibly affectionate, likes to spoon in bed (yes I let her up in the morning for a few minutes but her bed is at the bottom of mine and that's where she sleeps) and sometimes in her sleep she'll kind of push and dig at the same time and remember Sue waking up behind me and waking me up with a nice slow morning massage.

There is loneliness and then there is NO SKIN2SKIN loneliness and sometimes it feels like the end of the world.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 217
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/21/2008 8:16:11 AM

There is loneliness and then there is NO SKIN2SKIN loneliness and sometimes it feels like the end of the world


....I was brought to tears after reading you're post...my heart goes out to you. I am sure that someday you will have that again....I wish you the best.

...maeflowers
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 220
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Clarification
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:02:14 PM
This completely off topic - sort of - but for the life of me I wish sharing an idea didn't illicit such feelings.


.... generally lascivious, but I wish you wouldn't make me cry...


One of the things that ALSO defined our relationship included a special "touching." Without going into details here that part of our lives improved SO MUCH when I stumbled on it that it changed our whole relationship and VERY much for the better.

A couple of years after she died I became aware that very very few people had stumbled on this by themselves, modern research was about a century behind so I decided to share. I've been with two women in 7 YEARS. I'm waiting for THAT feeling again and so far it hasn't happened. In the meantime I frequent the forums and contribute to my fav. subject knowing that literally hundreds of thousands (look at the reads) have read, learned, tried and discovered what Sue and I discovered about that most intimate of touches. Somehow I know that under these circumstances even she would approve. I'm NOT here telling everybody what a stud I am ( Oh ya 2 women in 7 years!! Watch out ladies. I'm cumin for yuz ). I'm just sharing and my contributions are seen as "lascivious." Pity.


http://forum.literotica.com:81/showthread.php?t=70892

and for what it's worth when I type out a memory like I did above, my damn tear ducts are just as "independent" as yours .... 7 YEARS later .... Even THAT defines what we had and you're right. I KNOW I was blessed - WE were blessed and that many couples never get that close. Maybe my naughty thread will help them get there though.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 223
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/21/2008 10:52:25 PM
^^And just what is the cost of a hug or a kiss?
I have two friends, a couple I used to live next door to. Known them for 17 years. We have finally begun to hug each other when we meet up. One never knows when we meet others for the last time. I want my last time to be a good memory!!!!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 224
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:08:24 PM
...My friend invited me to her family get together today and I enjoyed spending the aftenoon with them. Very close knit family. When it was time for me to leave I recieved lots of hugs and well wishes...it made me feel all warm and fuzzy ....it also made me realize just how much I miss the physical touch.

...maeflowers
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 225
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/22/2008 7:00:34 AM
My dad was a country doc and one summer I was working in his office and noticed that some people were in every week...so I asked it they were very ill and he laughed and said no, they just needed their weekly dose of touch! (dad was Italian old school and a touchy guy). So he'd look at their hands and rub their arthritic knuckles, listen to the aches, rub a back and hold 'em tight around the shoulders as he walked them out the door... good for another week.

Wouldn't it be a shame if that was the only touch you got? And these days you probably couldn't even count on that. The other option? Scr*w strangers who don't even want to know you....bbrrrr.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 230
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/22/2008 10:32:30 PM
What does that have to with the need for touch? Doesn't matter if you're a baby or an old man, whether you remember or not we're pack animals...people need it.

Just a shame so many men think that sex is the only allowable form to use to get some. Before the drive for reproduction there was the fundamental need for safety, affection and belonging.....cultural anthropology.
 7iron
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 231
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:25:37 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Once again I've been put in the same category with the horn dogs of the world.
While I do enjoy making love, to me there's nothing better than looking over and seeing her lying on her side with her back towards you, then pulling her towards you for some good old fashion spooning, especially if it's skin on skin.




7 iron
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 232
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:47:18 AM
It's fundamental don't ya think Ran? But we end up getting side tracked by words and misconceptions or creating cliches or thinking sex = touch.

But there's more to it than that, people need people just to say you're ok and I'm ok, the ALL of you, without pressure or PRE conceptions....just to take things with a little more respect of our natural needs as human animals; mind, heart and body. It's when we start separating those things or mistaking one for the other that we end up getting deluded and confused and then start blaming.
We don't really have to you know.... if we just stop pointing fingers and open some arms instead.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 233
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 7:23:31 AM
...Yeah, it's pretty sad when you're having your picture taken with a male co-worker who has his arm around you and you're quite happy when the person taking the pictures is having problems with the camera


...maeflowers
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 234
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 8:07:45 AM
Mae ....always more where that came from, unfortunately I'm d1ckless, so can't help out in the other department....but hey a hug's a hug .

Ran we see the same thing on our end, self delusion or fear are the rules for most people male or female.... it's a chosen human condition keeping them in permanent fight/flight....so much easier to let the world be black and white than deal with all those messy and inconvenient greys, but those greys could actually be all the other colors of the spectrum, the summer yellows and sky blues, reds and sunset magentas that give richness to life. I know that I refuse to be a dead woman walking worrying about how horrible it would be to feel the pain of risking a broken heart....while in the meantime the world keeps spinning and lovely feelings get unused.
I know I want to live everyday as if it were my last....cause as far as I know for absolutely positively sure, this is it....so why waste it?

Which is probably why I get so cranky .
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 238
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 9:21:29 AM

but so many are clammed up and guarded that they think the true expression may cause them to burst into flames. So they might say what's safe - which is saying nothing at all.


Ran, that is true of both sexes, men can be just as clammed up as women and while they might want sex, some perfer to keep it strickly "sex"...and to me I just find that an empty act.

I think what is missing the most in most people is the PASSION...we have forgotten how to live passionately...to many dang rules and stuff that we allow to limit us on who we are.

On topic, My oncologist is a touchy feely type of guy, when I asked him about it he said some of his patients, he is the last person who will ever get to hug them. He had tears in his eyes when he said it. So I gave him the hug that day!
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 239
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 12:01:52 PM
The other day I was conversing with my 16 year old daughter. I told her that I had made peanut butter fudge. Said I also put milk chocolate chips in it to make it more like a Reeces Penis bar. She didn't laugh. Then I said OMG, I meant Reeces "Pieces". Was a total freudian slip on my part! Then she howled with laughter...can ya guess where my mind has bin these few days???
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 242
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 7:05:41 PM

damn I hate threads like this. Wish I'd never started reading it.
Where are the damn tissues.



I agree, where are the tissues?
I became a widow a year and a half ago. I hadn't realized how much I missed being held.


Don't forget - just as the memories of the touch(es) and all they inspire and invoke - the TEARS, too, define much of what we miss the most. Tears cleanse the pain ... dull it sometimes but those are the times when the loss feels the most intense. Endure them with the memories. There is nothing as intimate between yourselves (ourselves) and our dear departed than showing them how much we miss their touch, their feel, their taste, their smell. Every time THAT feeling swallows us remember without it the memories fade and the intensity is lost forever. I'm not suggesting "wallowing" in those feelings but after a while they become the window to the past we wish we'd never lost. As long as it doesn't cripple us NOW then tear up with pride because we have loved enough for it to STILL hurt that much.

Not much to do with TOUCH but needed saying. So many who have not lost a lover just don't understand the feelings. Maybe that helps explain things a little.

Maybe.
 kat1958
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 243
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/23/2008 7:42:54 PM
I am a very touchy feely person.....and I miss that the most when not in a relationship....I love the hugging, holding hands....looking into each other's eyes.....love waking up in the morning with that warm body next to me....nothing better
 Riverkilt
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 245
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/24/2008 6:11:46 PM
Boy, miss it too!! There are so many ways to touch appropriately, even just a bit of hand contact getting change back from a clerk.

A favorite thing to do with hugs is first of all, DON'T PAT...just hug...then, don't release the hug until the other person does. Let the other person be the one to release the hug, not you. Surprising how long hugs can last that way and how nurturing they can be.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 247
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/25/2008 1:09:06 AM
From Outofthedesert:

["I am not interested in some nameless, faceless stranger for a one hit wonder. That will fill no emotional need. But that is who I am---------I need a longer.stronger connection, not just a one night stand. I will do without first."]

Everybody who agrees stand up and say, "By Jove, that's it!" Yayy!.......group hug

Though not quite sure how without I'll do ;-)....but in essence, that's the ticket.
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 248
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/25/2008 8:02:34 AM

Bi Jove
(never knew he was Bi )

Certainly not a Eureeka moment for me. Known & felt it in my soul since Sue died ... that the sex was great and easily replaced but THAT was not what was being missed. Thanks but no thanks and I'll just hunker down here and wait for IT to happen again. If it doesn't then fine. I think I had it better than most for the time we did have together.

For me the MAIN side benefit to my TRY THIS thread are the number of emails I've received stating that since reading and discovering this works for them too, their relationship has grown so much closer. Sex being the icing on the cake it just adds another layer of "icing" and EVERYTHING - the touching, the respect, the affection - is better.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 251
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/25/2008 8:22:07 AM

As a caring and thoughtful gentleman, I'm always very happy to touch women who miss the physical touch.

Me too,,,

The trouble is, when they touch me back, it usually hurts.

and I thought those women were just the dominating type,,
all there years,, all these bruises,,all this pain, just for a little touch,, what was I thinking,,

 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 252
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/25/2008 1:58:11 PM
Are you content to go through life without ever feeling the velvet stroke of warm skin on yours?

Just recently I shared my opinion with a friend about physical touch i.e. holding hands, brush of cherry lips or being so close that one could feel their temperature rise ... touch says it all. You can feel the beat of their heart, pulse running through their veins, heat of their body ... and there is no tag attached that could let you buy all these natural freely given feelings, inklings, burning desires. That's the beauty of physical touch and when it happens it comes with respect and trust.

Of course, I miss it, and don't give up on finding it again.
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 255
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/26/2008 12:09:20 PM
There are different degrees of hell specially reserved for each of us, it seems.

Alone and touchless because one or both of you chose to be alone.

Alone and touchless because one of you were inconsiderate enough to die.

and maybe the wurst

Alone and touchless because, even though you're both still together, one or both of you for whatever reason chose not to have any physical / emotional contact.

I'm not sure which is qualitatively worse - just that it IS hell if you're stuck in any of those situations.


I hope each of you who are alone and touchless find an enduring CURE and soon.


 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 256
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/26/2008 12:48:57 PM
Ah yes. The two shitty IMs in ONE day syndrome.

"Everybody hates me (or they just want to screw me)

Nobody loves me (or they just want to screw me)

I'm going to sit in the basement for the rest of my life and eat wooly worms."

There's little mystery in WHY so many are alone at our ages. Don't you remember the trials and tribulations of GROWING UP? Few met the ONE guy they loved when in their teens or 20's. Trail and ERROR repeated until you thought you's never find THE one and then it happened. Why would one assume that things were any easier now ... maybe especially now. We've been rejected, left alone, run over and emotionally shredded in one or a number of ways so ... I guess that's a good reason to abandon ALL hope.

NOT!!!
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 264
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:20:20 AM
In my opinion NOT wanting to be touched is a sign of deeper issues..Wrongful touching when we are children will definately set up negative feelings around being touched..I have expereinced those unwelcoming touches..I came from a mother who wasnt very nurturing,but later when I had my own children, it was just as neccasary to touch them and love them as it was to breath to me.
.I had a good friend who was a hugger years ago and she asked me one time "Does it make you uncomfotable for me to give you hugs??" even tho I wast 100% comfortable because of my upbringing,I did enjoy her warm hugs..Id have to say she was the one that made me the hugger I am today!!reach out and let yourself be hugged ,we all need the human contact of another..I hope one day I will meet the one,who loves to touch as much as I do..I have met a couple of nurturing,touchy men they just didnt cut it in other areas!!too bad!!happy new year!!
 ~Lizzi~
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 267
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/27/2008 5:24:41 PM
OMG yes...

I am a very tactile person, I love to hug and be hugged. Doesn't matter who it is, family, friend, lover, I even hug my ex when I see him. Human nature is conditioned to want closeness to another, human or pet.

I miss being touched (caressed) more than anything. There is something very basic about being touched and touching. It shows that we are social animals at heart. I do relaize that there some who would prefer not to be touched, and that is their choice.
Living alone for the first time in my life(after two marriages and a couple of relationships), it's the one thing I miss more than anything. The thought of never touching someone or having someone touch me again, breaks my heart,
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