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 mediumfoot
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 153
Do I ever miss physical touch!Page 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Help me out here. The last I heard you gals were already happily dating the men who "get it". I would expect the get-it men would be generous with non-sexually-demanding-non-horn-dog-groping touch? (I would have used one word but none came to mind.)

Now, in my experience there have been times when what was wanted and what was given was TLC without sex following. It's a simple negotiation. You just say what you do want and what you don't. If both agree, there you go. The concept is simple. Its application is as well if there isn't something in the way. The most trouble I've had with it so far was one time way back in high school with a friend who wanted a back rub and only that. The back rub went well but I got horny so I stopped and she asked why and I said because this is where the back rub ends and we decided not to start what comes next. The problem of sexual arousal was taken care of by talking about it not running scared. I survived the episode without either of my balls exploding, contrary to popular dating mythology. Sex is a factor but as adults it's not beyond the realm of possibility to negotiate that point.

Dancing is a time honored way to be close standing up with clothes on. You can even get turned on and enjoy it without continuing to the bedroom (or parking lot, for those of you with large enough motor vehicles.)

I am not sure how much the old folks at the old folks home like being pawed and groped for physical contact by women sublimating their rampant sexual desires into non-sexual touch. I suppose if they minded they would post a sign at the entrance to the facility.

As a woman you can be assured of finding a man who would gladly oblige your no-sex desire for touch. As a man, that kind of request is met with suspicion and pepper spray. It's different by which sex you are.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 154
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:28:29 AM
Actually I think alot depends on how you were raised. Some people are from affection families with alot of hugs etc. Other might not have had that type of environment and dont have the physical touch hardwired into their needs.

My daughter was held constantly when a child. The daycare workers took turns. I was about to ask them not to cause she was being so spoiled but then figured why...they loved my daughter, how could someone showing love to her be a bad thing. I will admit at times it was hard as a mother to let other love you child so freely but she had several of the daycare workers who would come visit her at my home after they quit working at the center. Now whe greets me each morning with a hug and the last thing before she goes to sleep at night. I like that! I hope she never changes and her need for physical affection will alway be met.

She is one of the most loving and affection people I have ever met. She has taught the dog to hug..he literally leans into you and ducks his head into your body to give you a hug....both of her cats hug and kiss.

Im very proud of her for passing on the love that was shown to her to others. All of her friends greet each other with hugs and when they leave they all hug. Her friends arent all girls...they are guys and the hugs arent sexual.


I am not sure how much the old folks at the old folks home like being pawed and groped for physical contact by women sublimating their rampant sexual desires into non-sexual touch. I suppose if they minded they would post a sign at the entrance to the facility.


mediumfoot, I am not sure what to say to this other than I hope you get the help you need to understand the difference between physical affection and sex. I doubt anyone hugging or holding the hand of a elderly person is going to be sublimating any sexual desires.
 mediumfoot
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 155
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:35:52 AM
I understand the difference. That you assume I do not is mildly disappointing. The way you put it is mildly insulting. It's going to be a mild day.
 Jon0701
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 157
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:23:31 PM
That's probably the single most important thing that I miss... more than anything...

Not the sexual touch.. that's always nice... but the gentle touch of "Hey, I am here, rest for awhile and foget your fears...I am here"

The touch that takes away the cares of the world, even for just a little while.

Hugs from friends and family are always enjoyable and looked forward to, but there's just nothing quite the same as feeling the touch of you mate, the feel of her skin, the scent of who she is...

Yes... I miss that physical touch... more than anything
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 158
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History
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 12:32:11 PM
^^Thank you Jon. That was so very eloquently put!
It almost made me sad though, because I don't have that at present. *sigh* But I will say that I bet you won't be single very long!
 msflis
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 160
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 1:17:12 PM

Are you content to go through life without ever feeling the velvet stroke of warm skin on yours?


No, no, a thousand times no! But neither am I content to have only passing moments of touch that don't mean the same thing to the other that they do to me--and therein lies the rub (sometimes literally). Luckily I have lots of friends who hug and squeeze shoulders and hold hands and such, keeping me from starving for human touch, and who cheer me on in the quest to find the man whose touch is as important to me as mine is to him.

--Ms. Flis
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 161
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 1:42:43 PM

I was just reading some of the responses here and I have to say that I find it very amusing that people on a dating site claim they don't need to feel another human touch or a companion. So why are they on a dating site if that is true?


When trying to convince oneself of a fallacy, one needs to convince others to reinforce it to make it seem right.
 starstuff942
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 162
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 2:33:21 PM
^^^ Mackenvinized, very astute and completely true.

And besides that, if they don't NEED touches, that's fine for them. Trying to make the rest of us feel bad because we would like some nurturing doesn't help anyone. We all have our lessons to learn and accepting ourselves as we are is usually lesson number one.

Love, light and laughter!
 N10SE
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 163
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History
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 4:21:11 PM

skin to skin contact - velvet warm skin touching my skin


They would probably arrest you for it now but... when my children were babies I would give them a bath with me, "swim" them around in the water, play with them, and the most wonderful feeling in the world was having their little bare bodies next to mine. Sometimes their little hands would stroke my face.. holding their little hand in mine, the nuzzles.. those things are what my grandchildren gift me with these days.
 mopar123
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 164
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/21/2008 6:36:58 PM
Sorry Mora, did that once, took me a month to gnaw my way outta that damned cage.
 rlc_countryman_clr
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 165
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 1:15:26 AM
ok i hope i am not becomming a pain in the a$$ but yea lol this is strait copy and paist from my profile and well i just wander what i put that is so wrong that they just ignore me so much lol


only reason i put this below is cause i am honest, and want people to relize what the getting in to. no i aint in a wheel chair, or crippled i do love my self like i am, i am content. but i do want someone in my life to share it with i got everythign i want but love and if i have to wait i will wait as long as it takes to have the right woman to come along oh and i do live with my mom not that i cant make it on my own but cause i do not need my own place to go to every night alone. so yes my mom helps me with the roof and i help her with the bills. got to admit if ill deal with my mom thru anythign . imagin what i would do for the woman i love or the children i may have in the future.........

If you want a sweet, loving, and a bit crazy in the best of ways then i am your man , if you want a man that abuses you or treats you bad or hurts you dont bother messaging me. i do not cheat or i do not play childish mind games. i am sorry if i offend you but i do notice people read my profile then look the other way. so i can only say this in spite of what i write below this i am independant and i dont ask nothign from noone but love and trust and respect so if i am someone you want to talk to me please feel free to but please understand i am alone and i do not want my problems be the reason you refuse to talk to me. i am more then meets the eye.

all i ask is to take a moment to read and maybe get to know me i might be more then you expect and i wish i knew why women look me by like i am not worth there time.....well i want to tell you some about me . i am 26 i do love kids i been wanting to settle down for years but cant find someone that wants to treat me with even half the respect and love i give them.... i do live with my mom here cause i was in an accident and on SSI/disability and i am alone and dont need my own place at this point in time.... i believe honesty is the best policy. i am responcible but dont expect anyone to believe me just saying i am . i believe in meeting to get to know in person what you will miss online. i am a goofy child at heart my self and i get along with kids but serious when i have to be i am the way i am cause i taken care of or helped take care of kids since i was 13 ... anything else you want to know just ask and i hope i dont care you off by saying to much or saying what i have said sofar

if you are not seriouse about getting to know me please dont bother i dont need to look like a fool trying to see if there is anythign there. and all you are doing is looking for somethign better cause for one i can not stand someone who thinks they are better then others cause chances are you aint.... cause i know i aint. i do go to church and i dont care if you do or not cause i dont push my religon on noone.....

quote from old song .... i dont care who you are, where your from, what you did, as long as you love me......

i have hated my self for a long time cause i thought there was something wrong with me but heck if my ex's want me back i must be doing something right...so enough of that

rules i have:

1: i dont care what you do or where you go or who you spend your time with, but please dont cheat on me.
2: lying gets you nowhere because youll have to make anotherlie to back that one up.
3: treat me as you would like to be treated cause already from the beginning i treat you as i want treated.

anything else you want to know about me wright me.......

wow it is longer then i thought lol
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 166
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 1:56:53 AM
i totally miss the touch of a man by my side and where there is love. i am very affectionate, hug everyone, give and get massages. it bides my time. i'd rather crave it, then be dead inside. i do the rest of life, not hysterical. just human. cat is sitting on my lap and helping me cope!
 Rob_SA
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 167
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:00:09 AM
Sapphireeyes - your post got me thinking. As a kid in the 60's hugs from my parents were scarce and "I love you's" were just a meaningless mantra. My sister and I always used to joke that we didn't have a family, we had a family trust. My daughter and I have always hugged and no conversation is finished until we've both said a "Guess what? I love you!" or "Did I mention I love ya lots Daddyo/Duck" (Duck is her nickname... has been since she was 3 and she's 25 now). The sad thing is that now if I say it to my dear old 86 year old Mum it almost feels false and she'll say something like "I know you do. Why are you saying it?"
 santa3129
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 168
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:48:41 AM
I miss it every day. I think that pretty normal for most of us. Nothing in this world can replace the touch you get from another. It maybe more special when in resriprication from another but it does shows the need to be wanted and loved. It's normal and just means you need it. There are so mant people out there who need this that it won't be hard to find another. Now the difficulity is finding the right touch. It's out there but hard to find. Tempoary touch can help but as you get older you tend to want to find the RIGHT touch.
 wdb2064
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 170
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 12:41:31 PM
I can't say I miss physical touch that much. It's not the type of thing that it's going to kill me whether someone is in my life or not. If someone is in my life, I want it to be because I want them in my life and not because "I missed skin against my skin".
 Libby333
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 171
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 12:46:11 PM

Help me out here. The last I heard you gals were already happily dating the men who "get it". I would expect the get-it men would be generous with non-sexually-demanding-non-horn-dog-groping touch? (I would have used one word but none came to mind.)


Awww come on now.... don't be shy...Is this your way of saying you "don't get it"?

s'ok... we still will talk to you...
 nodorks
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 172
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:50:22 PM
Missing simple things like touching or being touched is not limited by age. Tenderness is precious.
 MrCompletely4
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 173
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:59:59 PM
Okay so this one time in band camp?...okay not at band camp it was the place I used to work. I was about 20 years younger than she was, and she used to have to pass by where I sat several times, and after awhile she would touch my shoulder every time she went by. It was just something reassuring, and I thought how cute -- it's like an aunt pinching your cheek.
Then one day when she walked past, the touch started on one shoulder, and slowly slid across to the other, and then lingered until the last possible moment. I waited a few heartbeats before turning my head to watch her walk up the hall, and she was swaying her hips like there was no tomorrow and smiling over her shoulder at me. I thought Hokey Smokes! But seriously, after that I was afraid to be anywhere near her. It felt nice to be touched until it crossed a line, and I was after all a married man.
I recently passed the one year mark of my big D, and still mostly feel delicious about having the entire bed to myself, nobody kicking off the covers or running the ceiling fan, nobody to drown out my snoring with their own, etc etc. But I must admit from time to time I do miss the warmth of a gentle touch or caress. Sure, you can hug your relatives but there're many different kinds of hugs and embraces, and lettuce face it the kind of touch we desire is not a hug from Mom or Dad. I wouldn't use the word "velvet" because it implies a certain, even more intimate touch. Sure I miss that too, but that should be saved for a certain level to a relationship (I am sure there are posts on THAT subject here somewhere lol).
I have never felt all warm and puddly from my dental hygenist cleaning my teeth, but I do enjoy a good haircut, because it comes close to a good headrub, and who doesn't like a good headrub or back rub? Now, Spas offer massages but they also offer a number of other facial and body treatments, where the massages are much less invasive. It's my understanding that a lot of Spa massages start and/or end with a gentler rub down. They should not be confused with a session with the chiropractor! Aside from that I suppose one could get a friend to agree to a mutual headrub/backrub thing where limits are understood. Remember folks my number is 555...
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 174
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History
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/22/2008 6:23:55 PM
From birth we are touched and we equate this with caring. Its only natural to want to touch and be touched. What could be better?
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 175
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Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/23/2008 10:17:43 PM
There are many on this forum who have claimed that they don't need another in their life , particularly women in my memory. Are you content to go through life without ever feeling the velvet stroke of warm skin on yours?

Well, since I haven't had that pleasure for quite some time ... I would say I could go through life being content without feeling the velvet stroke of another person's (female of course) warm skin on mine. It would be nice, but not a requirement (like breathing).
 SweetSmartNSassy2
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 178
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 7:42:49 AM
MrCompletely4, massage should NEVER feel invasive. I've been doing massage therapy since 1993, and no one has ever said it's felt invasive. that's because I take great care with draping, boundaries and I understand what's invasive and what isn't. I always tell new clients to tell me immediately if anything I do really hurts or makes them feel uncomfortable in any way. when I work the female chest (always under the towel), I tell them again to let me know if anything feels invasive. so far, so good!

if you ever receive a massage that feels like it's crossed boundaries, speak up right away. you'll be doing yourself, other clients and our profession a great service.
 MrCompletely4
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 179
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 3:55:39 PM
Okay so perhaps I used terminology that some understood and some misunderstood. When I said invasive I didn't mean something that crossed boundaries. I was referring to something that instead of almost putting one asleep, actually hurts a bit if you're not used to it. Nuff sed.
 SweetSmartNSassy2
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 180
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/24/2008 4:10:32 PM
MrCompletely4, ok, gotcha. invasive to us professional therapists means just that - inappropriate touch. hurting a little is just someone working too hard and you should speak up on that, too. ask them to lighten it up a tad!
 BlondAssets
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 181
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/25/2008 9:15:21 AM
Wow .......... As I sit here and read ........... I have been brought to tears and smiles intermittently ! A dear friend asked me one day " If you were in a position that you could never be touched what would you do?" .... I'd die.... its simple. Living alone for the first time in my whole life... touch is what I miss the most!!! It is also what was missing in my last relationship... My biggest fear is that I will live alone the rest of my life..... I can if I have to.... but I'm hoping I won't.
Thank you all for sharing ..... It helps to know you aren't the only one longing for the touch of another!
 suestar222
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 182
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 11/27/2008 6:59:35 AM
Hi Lil Brooker this feeling of yours only will grow and grow harder and worse. this is the worse part of being alone. I am not alone but I been there before my friend astrologer trough this as well. the holding hand and touch another warm body in the bed next to you , feel the arms of another around you when you just need a hug and alot more. the only thing is if you think of it you miss it more. it is not the feeling of someone else touching your skin is the feeling of you want to touch another skin too...I would really would say get a poppy not hairy poppy just a cute little poppy to keep you company. what I wrote above is what my friend told me how she feel when she feel lonly the worse. the poppy was my idea javascript:smilie('') she use to come to this site but after few guys broke her heart one after the other she quit coming to this site.
let me know if you find a solution for this I let my friend know too.
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