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 newblue1970
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 13
Sexual needs and escortsPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My best friend is in a similar situation. His wife is quite a few yrs older than him and before menopause, she was just as horny as he was. Which meant they went at it like rabbits. Then menopause hit and she is on some meds and now has NO desire. She would probably throw him a BJ everyonce in a while, but without her being enthusiastic it loses its appeal. Not many men are excited by a partner who isnt enjoying themselves.

So, what is the solution. She has the right to not be 'forced' into having sex she's not interested in. But does that mean he has to be celibate? They love each other and he'd never leave her and vice versa. They ended up with a sort of agreement, like a 'dont ask dont tell' policy where he keeps it discreet.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 14
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:04:49 AM

My question is: how do the men deal with the guilt? Do they feel it? Do they suppress it? Do they compartmentalize it because their need for sex they're not getting is so strong?


ok lets put this in perspective

cheating is terrible ...and a guy who cheats because he is not getting a certain kind of sex is the worst... saying that a woman should try to do what it takes within reason to please /keep sex exciting for both of them ...dito for the man ...and for these women ( and I hear it to much for it not to be true in come cases ) but these women that when dating and trying to catch a man ...would suck a baseball through a 50 foot garden hose ..but now that they are married will not have oral sex ( unless he has stopped washing it ) well they are wrong also

but I am going to say also that a woman who denies any sex to her husband or uses sex as a tool to get what she wants from her husband ...is cheating the relationship also ...this does not give a man the justification to go else where ...but i submit that it does give him the justification to dump her ass and find happiness after the divorce

now if he has changed the way he treats her and she no longer cares enough for him to have sex then she needs to dump his ass and stop staying married just for security

bottom line ...if it is not a complete marriage ..its not a marriage and needs to be ended where both can look for happiness
 SenoritaC
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 15
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:27:23 AM

P.S. And since when is a woman wearing a strap-on and doing the man in the butt and 'watersports' (peeing) NORMAL?????


Perfect example of what society makes us believe are deviancies....when in reality, I'm the one with the penis with about 70% of my clients.


They are just *exhausted* and the last thing they want is a three-hour marathon session of sex with all the bells and whistles.


Completely understood. I've lived it and totally know what its like, how much you just want to sleep as soon as you hit the pillow. And I fell into the same trap of "sorry hun, i'm too tired..." This led him to pornography which is completely fine (don't get me started on those who don't put out and are anti-porn....what is the guy sposed to do, pull it while watching you sleep???) except that seeing porn, which is NEVER plain get the ideas into his head of other things. Watching porn leads to "deviancies" and other sexual interests which leads to shame on his part and even less of a sex life, since plain isn't what interests him anymore. Perhaps all the working women only have energy for 15 minutes of sex per week (i call bullshit), but there are other ways to make a man feel like its not such a pain in the ass. How about iniate that one 15 minute session instead of saying "Fine, ok, but hurry up."? Hell, iniating it would probably speed things up. There are so many EASY ways to improve upon a vanilla sex life to keep a mans mind from wandering...


Strange dont you think that they wouldnt expend that energy on their own wife......


I'm sure they would expend that much energy on their wives, if the interest was there. After 6 years of "Fine, hurry up." the mans agenda in the bedroom is to get in, get off and get out. If you don't want it, how is he supposed to make it good for you??


So the John is getting some type of "closeness' with some women that he just paid to have sex with, sorry, that is ludicrous. If the John is that delusional that he can convince himself that a hooker is giving him emotional"closeness" after he slips her the "fee", I would have to say this man isnt really playing with a full deck....


Keep in mind that it's the illusion, the fantasy, at least with prostitutes. But when a man cheats, he's looking for intimacy and sexual release. The two do not always go together. I find that a lot of marriages now completely lack intimacy. It's more a partnership to pay the bills and take care of the kids. So what if it's gonna gross out your kids....swap spit during the commerical with your husband. Snuggle up on the couch watching Survivor instead of taking separate ends....My parents have been together for 30 years, and I can count the number of times they have intimitately kissed on my hands. And yeah, it's a vanilla sex life. Granted, the lack of intimacy is not just on the wife's shoulders, but if you have the power and know how to fix it, why wouldn't you?? I don't know what woman wouldn't the tingles from the beginnings of a relationship...


I have to ask this question. Obviously you are getting your "reasons" and "justifications" from your Johns, Do you honestly believe that married men, who are coming to you to have sex with a prostitute, are really being honest about their situation? Are you that naive that you believe what these men are telling you? Of course they are going to spin some tale of woe to you to justify their seeing a hooker and to lessen their guilt.

I am sure that you also believe that you are providing some sort of community service by pretending to care about these poor men, who are so hard done by in their marriages. I find your self serving observations about the wives of your John's highly amusing. Perhaps you need to keep telling yourself that in order to continue to service married men that cheat on their wives with hookers.


Hardly self serving actually, married men make me money, why would I spill the beans?? Lack of sex is not a tale of woe, it's not something I would buy either way. He made the choice to come see me over jerkin it in front of the computer screen, or cajoling his wife into a calm 3 minutes under the covers. I have a role to fulfull, i'm not screening my clients asking for their marriage licenses....quite frankly, it's not my problem.

My observations come from both work and life. I was disheartened and bitter and untrusting when I got into this industry (part of the reason I did it. And outlet for sex, and wahey, money too????!) from seeing every male in my life cheat on their spouse in one form or another. And even then, it would piss me off to hear the wives **** and complain about how their husband wanted sex TWICE (can you believe it!!) this week......and then be completely surprised when they found out he had an affair. My biggest point is: If you are selfish and not giving with sex, have the holy grail state of mind, then DO NOT be surpised when he wanders in one form or another.

In cheating, it is NOT just one persons fault. It is both people within the relationship. I'm sick of lazy, selfish wives not taking ANY responsibility.

Yes, cheating hurts, cheating sucks, and you're a douche if you do it. I can tell you I would be stringing up my husband by his nads if it happened to me, BUT I will tell you, that sex will NEVER be a chore.

It goes both ways, if you put in some effort in the bedroom, he'll put effort into the relationship. Women know men, we know damned well that he's not going to bring us flowers for cleaning the floor....but it's kind of funny that i get 2 bouquets a week...just something to think about.

Also: Women's lib is the death of marriage.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 16
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:33:05 AM

Women cheat too, but just not generally with a paid partner. What is it that they're not getting at home?


FINALLY! I waited a day to finally see ONE single woman on here try a little balance and recognize what is slapping everyone in the face!

Also, at what point did I ever say that cheating was OK? Anyone? Anyone?

WOMEN CHEAT ALL THE TIME TOO. Normally it is emotional cheating rather than physical however, because that is the valued item in the relationship that they tend to come up missing.

This thread is not about morality it's about REALITY. The discussion on right or wrong can NEVER lead to solutions because everyone's definition is different.

Maybe if we all understood HOW and WHY these things happened, we could find ways to, not eliminate, but reduce their occurence. If a man OR WOMAN, has decided to go outside of a relationship for fulfillment of something they feel is missing from it (not just sex), they will. So the discussion should be how do we make sure that BOTH men and women ensure they've done everything they could to not slip into this situation to begin with.


Somehow, as relationships progress, the sex life progresses from somewhere around confetti to vanilla. Or worse, NOTHING. The men I see do NOT have a confetti sex life, most don't even have a STRIPED sex life.....its vanilla or nothing. I think this is the attitude that most wives take on "This or nothing". When did sex turn to such a pain in the ass?? Men aren't nearly as selfish as you'd think when it comes to sex. They pay me, and sit there for more than half a session trying to get me off.


Amen again sister! I've seen this scenario at least a dozen times in my life in friends, family, and others. Once again though how did it get there is the real dilemma to be solved. Once it's there; it's over.

And just for the freaking record to all the harpies, my ex-wife CHEATED ON ME! NOT the other way around. Instead of trying to blame everyone else in the world (which I initially did), I began trying to understand how it got there. How does that happen. Maybe some of you should grow up, face reality, do the same, and look in the mirror for a change. Over 50% of marriages are ending in divorce; there are obviously LOTS of mirrors that need looking into and NOT just by the men.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 17
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 11:10:52 AM
Men aren't nearly as selfish as you'd think when it comes to sex. They pay me, and sit there for more than half a session trying to get me off.

I just wanted to address this....a man trying to make sure he gets a woman off who's considered a pro (at least to him) is not about her. It's a total ego trip and in some cases competitive, and is mainly about him knowing he's good enough to satisfy someone who's um...got more experience than his wife/gf does, basically. You're the catalyst for it, sure, but that's probably the extent of it.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 18
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History
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 11:19:55 AM
Sex is a very core aspect of many a relationship and its importance rests not on the fact that it is "provided", but HOW it is provided. While dishes or other chores..eh, who cares, as long as they are done.

(There, corrected that for you)

Also, I've been with plenty of women who didn't care HOW you brought them off, as long as you did it.. and when THEY were all done, WE were done, even I still hadn't "finished" and had plenty of energy left.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 19
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Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 11:37:24 AM
Normally it is emotional cheating rather than physical however, because that is the valued item in the relationship that they tend to come up missing.

Where did you come up with that statistic? A rectal approximation?

Women cheat for the same reasons men cheat, and in fact a much higher percentage of women are cheating now than ever before, because they are being put into ever-higher positions at their workplace and in society. Women cheat for sex, women cheat for love. Women cheat for money. Women cheat for what they're missing. Women cheat for what they can't have.

And so do men.

My ex-wife cheated because she failed to communicate her problems, and sought validation in inappropriate places; namely sleeping with her boss at work while I was home taking care of our daughter and working full-time at the same time. She needed validation that was above and beyond the constant validation and support I was giving her as a husband. Some people will always continue to raise that bar just outside of your reach. She was one of them.

And one other point: Cheating is NEVER the victim's fault, ever. Not once, not ever. SenioritaC believes that cheating is the responsibility of both people. It isn't.

Anyone who cheats, owns that choice 100%. Not 50/50, not 80/20. 100%. There are plenty of choices that can be made, and cheating is NEVER one of them. You can decide NOT to cheat. You can decide to tell your partner what you're missing. You can decide to end the relationship and jump to another. Cheating is NEVER an appropriate answer.

Now, the decisions that led someone to make the choice to cheat, I believe are owned by both people in the relationship. My ex-wife's decision to cheat was based on her not communicating anything at all in the relationship. Communication is a 2-way street, so I own about half of that, by not being more insistent that she confide in me over others. But her choice to cheat, the actions... are hers. She has to own that, not me.
 SenoritaC
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 20
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 1:12:49 PM

SenoritaC - just because 70% of YOUR clients like to be pegged doesn't mean 70% of ALL men like it. You're seeing a self-selected sample... Yes, your experiences are real but not necessarily typical. You see the kind of men who go to hookers...plain and simple.


My example is not just from clients I meet. Its from men who I speak with from this site, from my porn site, and other various venues, (and don't say "the men that watch porn" cuz they ALL do, some are just better at hiding it than others). I'd say 50% of men i've spoken too are into recieving anal play. Make that 70% of men over the age of 38, personally i think theres a link between the interest in that, and beginning prostate exams.

And what exactly constitutes "men that see hookers"? Sex addicted fiends who are disrespectful and borderline gay? No, I see all sorts. You can't sit and stereotype a man because he pays a woman for sexual release. That's like stereotyping a man that jerks off.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 21
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Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/21/2008 3:43:14 PM

This thread is not about morality it's about REALITY. The discussion on right or wrong can NEVER lead to solutions because everyone's definition is different.


This thread would NOT be an issue if it was just about REALITY. Reality is because of the rotation of the earth, the sun rises, and sets. We have day light, unless it is cloudy, a volcano blew ash into the air and blocked the sun, the person lives in the North Pole.

That is reality, because there is only one thing that can change that reality, and it isn't in man kinds power.

Reality is people get sick, and they even die, in fact the only way to get off this wild ride called life is death, more total reality.

HOWEVER deciding to go outside of your marriage whether you are a man or a woman is a moral choice, NOT reality, but a choice to decide that what ever is going on in the bedroom is NOT making them happy THUS they make a choice to do what???? Generally people who have committed to someone already know what is considered right and wrong in a relationship.

This is a moral choicing between partners, saying you are faithful to that person IS a moral choice. Not reality, because people casually date all the time, and can have many sexual partners, but have no remorse, because they are not commited to any of these people.

So what kind of choices do people have in making a moral decision......

1. Talk to their partner to see what can be done to make their sex life better? To me there's a good one solution, which could very well be productive, and COULD possibly save the relationship from the unhappy person from cheating...

2. Use porn and whack of in front of the computer, or in the bathroom in front of a magazine. Some women find this really repulsive, but the member or vagina has not been gettting it from another person, breaking the commitment of having actual sex with someone else.

Oh and on keeping things balanced and equal, breaking out BOB and getting off while hubbies at work, or out drinking beer with the boys. That very well could be taken as morally offensive by some.

3. Finding there is no compromise, as well as no sexual compatibility, so to avoid breaking a commitment they divorce, OR the SO gives permission to the other to get their needs met by someone else. All is up front, and there is no secret, thus even though some would find it amoral, once again at least it isn't behind the others back.

4. Decide that they are getting their rocks off like they would like, thus they secretly seek out sexual gratification from a hooker, or barstar, or some ex partner that is more than happy to service the missing needs.


Maybe if we all understood HOW and WHY these things happened, we could find ways to, not eliminate, but reduce their occurence.


What I hear you saying is that it can't be changed, because at the point that humans have NOW evolved, that the best a commited couple can expect is to reduce the occurence of cheating. Damn how sad is that, guess I am glad I don't run around in your circle of friends.


If a man OR WOMAN, has decided to go outside of a relationship for fulfillment of something they feel is missing from it (not just sex), they will. So the discussion should be how do we make sure that BOTH men and women ensure they've done everything they could to not slip into this situation to begin with.


Once again this is the part where REALITY IS SUPPOSED be, but the reality, and the rub is this. If people treated others as they would want to be treated, and thought of their SO first, cheating wouldn't really be as much of a REALITY.

Instead we seem to live in this me me me, instant gratification society, where instead of talking about there being an issue, the men and women just cheat. For a good portion that I spoke with, because I have had an extremely indepth education from speaking to over a thousand men. (Science research) A good number did so because they wanted to feel the excitement of the chase and catch, that you can't get from being married 5 or 10 plus years.

I had a beautiful GF that would do pretty much what ever for husband, however long he wanted. He still went out and cheated on her over and over again. What really blew my mind was he was uglier than a mud fence, and still he felt like such a man by picking up strippers, one in which he knocked up. The real sad thing is this poor woman seemed blind sided everytime he did it.

Another one I remember felt being faithful was to much to ask, after all he was in the Navy; 6 months away from being home ENTITLED HIM being able to get the sex he needed. Oddly the first person he cheated with was his wifes sister while he was at home, on his 6 months off. Then he got a GF (after his divorce) who doesn't like to get or give oral, and basically just lays there (according to him). Instead of being a man, he stays with her, and hooks up with women off the sex sites..

Another memorable one was a man that said it is like this, how can you expect a man to eat chicken for the rest of his life??? It is going to get boring no matter how different you try to cook it?

Now even though I haven't lived the life of a escort, or played on any sex sites, I have talked to a very large amount of men in my single life, and I learned a lot of reasons why people cheat. Which call it what it really is, because right or wrong, that is what it is.



Are these examples of REALITY, or are these actually examples of men (since they were men I talked to) that made a moral choice, and it was to NOT remain faithful to their SO. Very few of them actually talked about making things better at home, they just opted for an affair, or sex outside of their marriage, hoping that their SO wouldn't find out.

So the reality for their actual pay off was really pissed of wives that divorced them, and raked them over every single possible painful spiked coal they could come up with.

Vengence: Morality or a Reality?

This thread has become polarized because a man has in not so many words stated that men cheat for a small handful of reasons, and usually it is because he's not getting what he wants, thus he cheats according to his Escort friend. We harpies as Todd so ineloquently put it, find this very unenlightened because there is a HUGE amount of reasons as to why people decide to cheat.

It can't always be suspected that is going to be the end results, unless of course they knowingly hook up with a habitual cheater.

I stated, my ex was emotionally cheating, and I decided after 9 yrs of not getting much of anything, (my personal life is SOOOOO not vanilla), I ended it without cheating. I made a moral choice, and knew it would be a horrible divorce if I cheated, because I felt cheated because my SO didn't put out like I invisioned married life would be.

I didn't drag him over burning bitter spiked coals either, because it is all about making choices...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 22
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/22/2008 1:18:51 PM

Now, they're complainin' about HOW we get them off? Just be happy with the Big O, and stop bytching about how you got it!

Who is "they", and what complaint are you referring to? My point was that a man who's trying to get you off for half an hour when he's paying for the time isn't necessarily about the woman getting off, as it's about validating his ability to do so...

Beyond that, I don't know what you're posting about.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 23
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Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/22/2008 2:41:37 PM

and that beats having a wife who doesnt want you to be anywhere near her treats sex like a chore or even worse uses sex as way to manipulate and control their husband.


So we are back to blaming the wife for a man not having a confetti sex life, thus instead of making an effort to fix what is obviously broken at home, it is better to pay someone for that hour of self gratification. NICE....

Goes back to the sentiment that people are freaking lazy, and would rather biotch about what is wrong at home then stand up and fix the problem.

By the way, a woman wouldn't have a glazed look on her face, with a don't touch me, or this is nothing but yet another chore IF her SO addressed her needs.

So we the op and others would like to polarize this as a blame game for cheating, and NOT bother to address what SUPPOSEDLY the op said was the real issue. Why did this person cheat.

HOW ABOUT why did the wife become disinterested in sex with him???

Ohhhh but I guess that really doesn't matter, because as stated it beats having to FIX the problem at home.

PPPFFFTTTTT pathetic in all realms of logic and fantasy.

Love and mutual gratification is a two way street, and it seems really like a major cop out to say she wasn't doing what I wanted, THUS instead of finding out what was wrong at home, cheating was easier...
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 24
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History
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/22/2008 8:08:40 PM


You are assuming that these guys didn't try to make an effort to fix things.

Actually I am NOT assuming anything, according to the OP men go to escorts, hookers, et al, because they aren't getting there needs met at home.

There was no discussion about whether they tried to fix anything, or if they figured instead of putting an effort into their marriage they would rather just pay for it, because it was easier then putting in an effort to fix what went wrong.

I being female, and as stated in an earlier post, have talked to at least a thousand if not more men, and the same tale of whoa was she spent to much money, the sex was so so, blah blah blah. In fact the OP states his wife cheated on him, and HE blamed her and the rest of the world for what SHE did.


(In the 30+ years my parents have been married I can count the number times my parents hugged let alone kissed) It's like the only reasons they stayed together was because of children or financial security. Hence they become trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage. It's just beyond fixing. Sad, but true


Ok, knowing that much about your parents sex life is just plain creepy. Really I figure my parents had sex three times, because there are three kids, that is ALL I want to know about my parents sex life.

HOWEVER not to dismisss your notion of it being to long to bother to fix it.

I worked as a medical professional for many years. You would be surprised how many elderly women suddenly discovered they had an STD. Is that supposed to be the price that a partner has to pay for her husband not wanting to bother to fix it? Obviously she had to of said yes at some point or another after him cheating or she wouldn't have an STD. NOW, I also have sat and watched silently as these women cried in total disbelief because THEY had been faithful. Cooked, cleaned, raised the kids, made sure dinner was always there, made sure the clothes were washed.

I have to ask, does that not count for something ???

This thread is not just about a conversation between you and I, but rather quite a few men defending their need to cheat because the woman didn't put out. In fact the Escort said that was the tale of whoa the men sobbed to them.

I only asked where is the flip side of the womans tale of whoa for WHY she may not feel inclined to put out???

Personally it is rather pointless to try and argue with someone that has a higher sex drive than most men she's ever been with, and vanilla ice cream is sweet from time to time, but dang make it Spamoni, or Triple cherry ripple, with full toppings, and it is all good.

Oddly my personal experience has been that men peter out their interest in having confetti sex after about 6 months. It is to hard to put the effort in. They are tired from work (as though I am not) they have pressures from work, and geez since I am a woman, I just wouldn't understand, even though there is a repeated request of please tell me what is bothering you.

Perhaps me and the other gals are enigmas that are truly hard to come by. However I don't believe I am all that unique, and I have NO PROBLEM giving more than I take.


When the problem is beyond fixing then yes, the other option is divorce of course but thats a bit more expensive then an escort.
Try as you might to defend going to an escort, because it is cheaper than a divorce. Perhaps your poor older mama would perfer to stay with someone that cheats on her. But we younger gals are able to take care of ourselves, and when we find out that our man. The one we cook meals for, clean house, raise kids, work, et al, can easily find that man kicked to the curb, and some of us are just pissed enough to make the divorce not worth the 200 bucks of carnal pleasure they had with a stranger.

So, try for two seconds , flip the script, and ask yourself if your daddy would like it if your momma went out and got some good ol fashion loven from an escort, cuddling, and being listened to, because your daddy is to tired to deal with the same ol BS.

I have been in a marriage that the guy had a LOW sex drive. Lived with it for 9 yrs, then booted him to the curb. NO didn't rack him over the coals, cause I have, muah life always has a price, and my own happiness has been long standing with out revenge...

Good luck.. Hope that you may be able to look past ONE SIDE. I already get it... I just would like to hear a defender of cheating say, it did take two to get to this point...

 someotherdude
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 25
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/22/2008 10:50:27 PM
Guys like to have sex with new women. Face the facts...the older you get, the less likely you are of pulling in some hot 20 year old unless:

a) you are loaded
b) she has daddy issues

and who needs that?

Men also have the wonderful ability to separate sex from love.

The world would be such a better place if women would just accept that men will cheat. It doesn't mean that we don't love you.

I have no problem with escorts or the people that use them. I never have yet but I am sure that one day I will.
 Riverkilt
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 26
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History
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/23/2008 12:12:26 AM
I'm with Shirley and Cranberry,

Been my personal experience and from years of experience as a therapist that many many women "cheat" on their husbands or married-like boyfriends. Usually when the guy stops being interested in things sexual, or focuses his sexuality on porno in one form or another.

Women are fully able to take care of their sexual needs discretely, and outside their relationship, IF that is what they decide to do.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 27
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/23/2008 9:10:32 AM
Ok let me break this down..

Guys like to have sex with new women.

This is all that needs to be addressed....if this is true, then for the men who like to have sex with new women, they should remain single and do JUST THAT. If they can't find it as easily as they get older, that's an unfortunate side effect of your choice. You signed up for it. Live with it.

Face the facts...the older you get, the less likely you are of pulling in some hot 20 year old unless:

a) you are loaded
b) she has daddy issues

and who needs that?

That's just part of the deal. You either settle down and accept the relationship you're in or you don't settle down. There is no third option unless you want it all, and most of us can't have it all without fvcking up someone else's life. Life's a b1tch...suck it up.

Men also have the wonderful ability to separate sex from love.

Yeah, men don't corner the market on that. Women can do this too...and I am proof of that....HOWEVER:

I don't get involved with someone where the sex is bad or stay with someone I am not sexually compatible with and then go elsewhere and supplement the sex. That's too much work, honestly. Why not stay single and only settle down if/when you find the whole package? If you're compromising what you want cause you can't be alone, then perhaps you're making your own bed on this (pun intended). This will mean you may end up alone at 80. Tough shit...

The world would be such a better place if women would just accept that men will cheat. It doesn't mean that we don't love you.

Who cares? Don't waste someone's time if you plan to cheat anyway (and women do this too, so give me a break)...just stay single so you can easily sleep with a new person and not bother someone else.

I have no problem with escorts or the people that use them. I never have yet but I am sure that one day I will.

I don't either, but I do have a problem with someone basically lying and staying somewhere they're not happy sexually and then getting it somewhere else. You want good sex? Man up and either end the relationship you're in if it's no good (so at least the other person can go be happy elsewhere) or don't get involved in the first place if you don't like the sex. Stay single and go to an escort, nothing wrong with that.

Funny thing is a lot of single men have the nerve to be insulted by someone suggesting an escort because they think it's desperate and won't sleep with a woman who's not into it for them, yet they'd go to one after being married for the same reason (my wife's just not into me). So you want to get laid, then get laid, but don't put conditions on HOW you get laid. Women have to sleep with you when you want it AND actually do a happy dance about it too? Get over yourselves - there are other people in the room besides you. In fact, that's most of the problem. Me, me, me.
 someotherdude
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 28
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/23/2008 3:33:16 PM
One could argue that seeing escorts isn't really cheating.

And yes I concede that women cheat too, but this thread isn't about cheating, men and women being equally immoral, porn addiction or blaming a man for turning you into a fat burnout.

Sex is just sex. Generally speaking, women do not pay for it.

North Americans, or "Western" civilizations if you prefer, have to be the most closed minded, and short sighted about the whole thing.

Get over it.
 kenda2010
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 29
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/23/2008 6:00:26 PM
Let's ask former Governor Spitzer...

What a damn fool he was.
 kenda2010
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 30
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/23/2008 6:01:18 PM
I am nomad! Error! Error!!!

Trek stuff.
 someotherdude
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 31
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/23/2008 8:22:33 PM
The real issue is how unnatural monogomy is, and why people are willing to suffer so much because they are "supposed to".

Thank you Jesus.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 32
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/24/2008 7:10:17 AM

I stuck with it and suffered with it..if I had only known that it was ok to go out and pay for it.........


ye but i do think think that men and women have different levels of need, this must be so because 99% of prostitutes are for men.

Nope, most of the time, it's because women don't have to pay for it. Most women who have affairs aren't paying anyone - most men are more than happy to offer free sex to married/involved women, so JGirlinSD, you could have shopped and still gotten laid somewhere else.
 someotherdude
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 33
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/24/2008 2:42:16 PM
Another wise man said "A man is only as faithful as his options"
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 34
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History
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/24/2008 3:12:35 PM

The real issue is how unnatural monogomy is, and why people are willing to suffer so much because they are "supposed to".
Hmmm guess that comes from a guy who doesn't believe in being monogomous... What ever float your boat...

HOWEVER there is a LOT of monogomy in nature itself, check it out. So for monogomy being so unnatural why is it that lifes lower forms can and do practice it???

JAT
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 35
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History
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/28/2008 5:27:46 PM
Zain, truly my apology for having the impression that your parents were having an unhappy miserable sexless life.

I do know that some people whether it be culturally related or what ever, they do not show affection in public, however they may have a very loving relationship, which includes great sex behind closed doors.

My Grandmother shut down after being mutilated after a hysterectomy. My poor Grandpa went without for at least 40 yrs. When he was in the nursing home, and my gram was there as well, but dementia claimed her so she doesn't know anyone. Grandpa didn't like the little ol ladies hitting on him, and trying to get cozy.

He left us in 01' and Gram has been physically alive, but has been gone for at least 15 yrs now.

So I know that there are men that go without for the pride and love of the person they committed to.

Me, I left my own marriage because my spouse wasn't into sex. I never cheated, and never would whether I was married or not; guess it runs in the genes.

Anyway, I am graceful enough to apologize for offending someone that came across with something that sounded differently in text, muah, it happens...

Good luck
 thedude81401
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 36
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History
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:21:57 PM
I would pay for it if it would get me lied. There is no chance of that happening in my town. I will just go with out and hope to eventually find someone
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 37
Sexual needs and escorts
Posted: 12/1/2008 2:24:25 PM
HOWEVER deciding to go outside of your marriage whether you are a man or a woman is a moral choice, NOT reality


OK, Nexthyme, you keep telling yourself that but I'll guarantee it's sure as hell reality to those people it has happened to. And from the number of failed marriages which cite infidelity as the cause, that group is huge. That's REALITY.

Also, I really wish that comprehension accompanied your reading ability so you would stop accusing me of things that: One, I never stated and two, I never did. Sticking to what is stated and not inferring your own ideas and biases about my motivations for starting this thread would serve you well.

I'm sorry that your ex didn't want to have sex with you as much as you would have liked but ma'am, you MUST be aware that your situation is in the significant minority of cases and therefore its relative significance to this overall conversation is minimized.

However, on the other hand I would wager good money that 70% or more of the men on this site have dated ladies who would metaphorically (maybe even literally) go down on them in a crowded movie theater in the early stages of a relationship only to be begging 6 months later for the same enthusiasm. I would further hypothesize that that change in what was her perceived, and even demonstrated, sex drive will eventually contribute to people at least thinking about going outside the relationship to fulfill what they thought they had inside the relationship. This can be said of men as well as women, although it usually manifests itself in emotional instead of sexual withdrawal in my anecdotal experience.

It really happens and if you think it doesn't, you can always embrace that denial and hope that it doesn't turn out to be your reality.
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