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 AUTHOR
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 51
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
he would hope that people that want to hook up just for sex would have the Intimate encounters title on their profile. Well such is not the case.

I have not said that. I have included those by Profile Settings and actual Intentions, rather than seperate 1 from the other.

I cannot say all women here but I would imagine lots ( and perhaps men too ) have been contacted by someone under the disguise of dating / long term...who are really only looking for a bootie call...

That is what I said in my Post in other Words.



Stereotyping? Just because YOU want to keep the child suddenly makes you an authority on what is like to be a woman and knowing what is like to be pregnant for 9 months (and all it's perks), give birth, or have an abortion and KNOW what it feels like???

You are not responding to my Post, but twisting what I said.

The Stereotyping was in reply to your Quote to attribute irresponsible raising of Children to Men as shown in bold below:

"Yea! and for every man away busy tending to his headache there is at least one child with a heartache and his mother trying in vain to fix it.

To which I replied that you are stereotyping Men in general, I provided an Example where a Woman may do the same as a Man may do, and that unwanted Children are the Result of not taking adequate Protections.

You are now running off somewhere else about being an Authority about what a Pregnancy is like when I merely submitted an Example to show that Men are not unilaterally responsible for Pregnancies, but both Parties equally when it comes to Protections.

In short, my Reply nullified your Position in respect to Men being irresponsible raising Children. Perhaps I stopped short when I stated you are merely stereotyping, perhaps Bashing of the other Gender is a more suitable and apt Description.

ASININE is a disrespectul word.

The Dictionary does not concur with your Assessment. Further, my Usage of it perfectly by Definition describes your off-the-Wall Take in respect to Men and their Comments on this Thread, again in bold shown below:

"I am disappointed at the general response of the males in particular. Not because of disagreement but because of the lack of thought behind the responses."

This is completely Asinine. First of all, you brush every Man who posted on this Thread with the same Paintbrush, secondly, accuse them of "lack of thought", which is not only blatantly false, but merely shows your Disagreement with their Responses. What is it you would like the Men to come into Compliance with or you can't tolerate? The Responses?

Threads are about People's Thoughts on the Topic Matter, not what you expect anyone to post in Agreement or Disagreement to it.
 LMAONOCOMMENT
Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 52
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:17:28 PM
i know what the problem is, while you ladies are on here chatting, have you thaught who is making the man supper, Pay attention, look after him better, cater a little more, get some snacks ready for the football games on sunday, and yes while the game is on, why not be a good sport and wash his 2008 chevy truck, shine up the crome, so many things you could do, instead of wasting your time, jabbering about nothing, and giving each crazy ideas, about relationships and the order they should be. Get with program. Tx
 b2inus2
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 53
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:23:17 PM
I'm comming DearYou, I'm comming...just finishing off the golf clubs and a special surpise just for you Papi!!

 LMAONOCOMMENT
Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 54
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:39:30 PM
i'm comming DearYou, I'm comming...just finishing off the golf clubs and a special surpise just for you Papi.

Dont call me papi, to u its, honey anything else i can do for you, and dont worry, i appreciate the grooves being really clean. One more thing, can you go and fill my truck with gas, at the selve serve station its 2 cents cheaper
 Mountain Lion 1
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 55
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What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 3:57:45 PM

....wasting your time, jabbering about nothing,...


Dear, the TV was too loud, guess you didn't hear her yelling:
"DEAR, the truck 's polished so are the clubs.
How would you like me to store them in the place the sun don't reach, lengthwise or sideways?"

Most interesting thoughts expressed here,
call me naive or romantic if you will,
still think matters of the heart can't be forced into doctrines.
Embrace the differences and each others morals and values , walk along hand in hand, one step at a time .
 b2inus2
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 56
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 4:00:40 PM
Ticket:
Are you my exhusband?
I'm done dear, this will never end.
P.S.
For the record I did check and my dictionary says:
"Asinine: Relating to or resembling as ass, marked by an inexcusable failure to exercise intellingence or sound judgement..."

Hmmm....I hope that you did not mean that or that you are not one of the men I was referring to.
Blessings!
 LMAONOCOMMENT
Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 57
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 4:09:11 PM
Moutainlion, dont tell her but i have my ears plugged, that voice makes me wanna go and golf now, i would like a T BONE Steak for supper, med rare, with baked potatoes, sour cream and bacon bits. And by the way i have another part time job lined up for her.
 FunnyAndSweet48
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 58
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 5:13:54 PM

Embrace the differences and each others morals and values , walk along hand in hand, one step at a time.

I agree ... unless your morals & values oppose each other's to the point where you're constantly arguing. However this still isn't addressing what I was hoping to learn from this venture, because my point has gotten totally misplaced amidst all these irrelevant posts.


What is it you would like the Men to come into Compliance with or you can't tolerate? The Responses?

Well yeah ... would be nice if their responses are related the OP's original point of this thread which was to evaluate our PAST relationships in search of similarities ... let me bold that 'cause it got missed several times before ... PAST relationships. I was hoping to leave current attitudes & current or future relationships out of this thread & focus on our past habits more.

I think Ticketoride & B2inus2 should go out on a coffee date to discuss this further as they're having way too much fun with this topic. Ticket, just make sure you show her some respect & nothing else or it might turn out like most of my coffee dates.
 Montevideo
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 59
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:33:05 PM

My question is, what order of the above steps have you used in building your past relationships & has it worked well?

None. No order at all because I got married to my highschool sweetheart.

The past is not important to me and there was nothing wrong with any of that. But today if all my requirements were not met there would be nothing further.
 debra2008
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 60
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/24/2008 6:53:08 AM
Responding to the temperature issue...

Not a personality thing; an actual physical thing. It is not like this for others? I was surprised to hear about large differences in women's temperature (being a heterosexual woman of course) but I have noticed small differences in men's.

Usually I find that Ticket's arguments and points of view are very balanced and basically common sense. But it is a specious argument that if a thing is not in one's own experience it must therefore come from whackos.

hmm. What else? So many interesting things to explore - from one's own experience and by learning from others' experiences in THIS world without having to come from another. Sex is particularly fascinating, don't you think? and relationships too thus I suspect the point of this thread.

Perhaps no one wants to talk about their past patterns ? Perhaps we don't like them, yet haven't been successful in changing them yet? Or we have changed them and don't want our future dates to see what our past patterns were? lol

Since I'm in the process of re-examining mine to examine what works for me and what doesn't, I also decline at this time!

One more comment- is it possible that sexual incompatibility or some degree less than a certain level of compatibility (an individual determination) is not cited as the reason for a breakup? Or is one factor leading to behaviour that ends the relationship? Just offered for your consideration...

And that birdseed is a b*tch to get out of one's ?

EDIT- "weirdos" sorry, not whacko's. What was I thinking? lol

(notice the short paragraphs to make it easier for those who don't like long posts?)
 FunnyAndSweet48
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 61
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/24/2008 8:11:31 AM
^^^I think you might have hit the nail on the head when you suggested that people might not want to discuss their past patterns just in case their future dates are reading this. Perhaps this is why so many are evading the question.

I too am reevaluating my past dating & relationship habits to see where improvement could or should be made, what worked well & what might not have worked so well. Once I know what I definitely don't want to repeat & what I will most certainly do again, then I can apply it to my future dates or relationships with a little flexibility, taking into account their own personalities, values & preferences of course & together we can create a blend that will work for us both.

Yes, I have ended relationships due to severe sexual incompatibility but there were usually other factors in play as well that weren't working out in the relationship. I have been told that I am more than patient, tolerant & understanding, & I give more than I take ... but everyone has a breaking point.

Well, now that the birdseed is growing, I might as well hop in the shower & water the dang thing.
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 62
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/24/2008 12:43:45 PM
But it is a specious argument that if a thing is not in one's own experience it must therefore come from whackos.

You are not reading my Response right but taking it out of Context. It merely had me wondering what could possibly bring on a Concern for Body Temperature that may be a Make-Break Point or prioritizing Item. Here is what I wrote:

"Maybe all these Concerns have been brought on through the Interactions with all sorts of Weirdos, who knows."

"Temperature Difference? Again, no Clue. Sure you are not talking about someone who just came in from the Cold? Strikes me more of bizarre finicky Things ..."

At no Point did I mean nor state: "it must therefore come from Whackos/Weirdos.", so need to take Offense to that. It was merely my Speculation, not anything I stated as a Matter of Fact.
 Mountain Lion 1
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 63
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What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/24/2008 1:20:23 PM
One more comment- is it possible that sexual incompatibility or some degree less than a certain level of compatibility (an individual determination) is not cited as the reason for a breakup? Or is one factor leading to behaviour that ends the relationship? Just offered for your consideration...

The lack of sexual compatibility when in a relationship may have many causes, some of which may be related to either or both are not "into" each other as much as they may think and do not or will not make necessary compromises. Sooner or later this incompatibility will manifest itself in most other aspects of the relationship. The reasons why this is seldom mentioned may vary, one may simply be a guilt factor and not wishing to hurt the other. Another plausible reason may be the person really has no clue as to why matters are the way they turned out to be. Usually unfulfilled expectations of the other that grew from an initially heated relationship may have much to do with this condition, in particular when there is lack of open communications and acceptance of the differences that exist between all people.
 The PigWig
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 64
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What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/24/2008 1:23:24 PM
^^^ Hey I have one that comes from what ML1 said.

if sexual compatability is being affected by something like the other persons "smell". How do you tell that other person???
 tornado1
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 65
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What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/24/2008 2:34:13 PM
^^^^^^^Very gently!

Don't mean to discourage you, but I have noticed that smell tends to be more of an issue when the sexual chemistry isn't there! Don't know if this is fact or just my personal experiences........I always thought it had something to do with our pheromones though.
 FunnyAndSweet48
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 66
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/29/2008 12:40:36 AM

I have noticed that smell tends to be more of an issue when the sexual chemistry isn't there!

Actually, I've found the opposite. The sexual chemistry can be rich but as soon as you get that nasty whiff, be it from their breath, underarms or from either of those down-south areas, it just shuts down any existing raging sexual chemistry. Natural body odor can also either be a turn on or a turn off ... same with the natural body taste. One person's mouth-watering caviar can be another person's stinky fish roe.
 debra2008
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 67
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 11/29/2008 11:41:54 PM
I could speculate on why one might speculate one thing but not another...

but I'll be nice.

I'm relatively new to the non event forums. No offense was taken. Hope none was given.
 silibus
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 68
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:20:19 PM
I am still recovering from a short relationship with a puma months and months ago.

The woman wanted nothing but to jump my bones. On the night of our first meeting we were in bed. I explained over and over (as did her friends) that we were going too too fast. Me thinks she (just divorced for a year at the time) was still in her 'catch up one sexual variety' post divorce mode at the time. She now has had much more time to mull it over and realizes what I was saying and was right. Her kids were the problem as anyone who had come from a broken family will relate too.

My order is the same as it was at twnty years old. Slow and deliberate except today that has a second reason....to savour it. Those things are priceless.....even for the lasting friendships they produce. Never regret an attept at romance in your mid years.
 MediaNaranja
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 69
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:13:06 AM

After years of lumps and bumps, heartache and more heartache, today I wonder if premature sex actually ruins potentially excellent relationships simply because once IT is introduced we may be so intoxicated that we stop paying attention to the other parts the relationship that also need developing? (intellectual, spiritual, emotional).

I don't consider myself old fashioned, but maybe there is wisdom in waiting a while.
I know that the more deeply I care about the man the better the sex. Besides, it gives us more time to engage our sex organ: "the brain"....so it is bound to be good
I'd suppose it's the same for the men, yes no maybe?


Hmmm..!! Interesting thought. I concur.
I think sex should wait a while. No?

MN
 Mountain Lion 1
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 70
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What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:47:48 AM
^^^ get real
I hear skeletons are having a difficult time making out, and its not for the lack of bone

look at the age group you (we) are at...lol

medicine has it, it takes the organ (brain) longer to process the intent, then forgets it, then spends much time searching what it was, then send the signal to the other part who replies to the brain sorry, resources dried up; brain panics, calls enzymes , zap's neurons, creates serotonin which creates hope and the body then writes nonsense on POF forums about sex and dating


Step one: find a mate
step two: mate
step three: repeat step two

step four: if you ain't getting it, blame mate

Step five: start with step one

OK that's just the mating steps, for the rest go to bookstore get and read all the books on topic while your spirit passes on to a different energy form and the remaining skeleton wonders wtf just happened.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 71
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What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:15:16 AM
There's science showing how sex creates bonding. It's not smart to conduct an activity that creates a bond if you're doing it with an unfortunate choice - you end up bonded to entirly the wrong person.

Forums like these are littered with the corpses of relationships that began unwisely.
 MediaNaranja
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 72
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:29:42 AM

Forums like these are littered with the corpses of relationships that began unwisely.


ooooooo! Well spoken Merrylass!
MN
 samadongshi2
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 73
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:50:16 PM
never gave this much thought b4 as i used to fly by the seat of my pants and wing it. Now, it's a different story and think I've somewhat matured.
First figure out what KIND of relationship do u want.
How many days a week u want to see this person.
How far ur willing to travel as my time is very valueable.
What you're willing to tolerate and not ...
Have clear conise set boundaries by putting urself first and foremost.
I may come across as a **** but somethings are simply a NON negotiable for me.

My previous relationship took a while to build and nuture. It worked out in the end but I was initially impatient cuz I thought there was something wrong with me but it wasn't.
 Artist_for_YOU
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 74
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:23:30 PM
Seems more like a revolving door and, "oh, hi there, (nope), oh, hi there, (nope), ....
I'm still hoping for that, "OH, THERE YOU ARE."
There's not a large line-up at the door either ....
Patience


 abacusblack
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 75
What is Your Order of Building Relationships?
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:17:32 PM
Good Subject F&S48 I think it begins on how you first meet. It is usually looks, personality sexual attraction or a combination of all these qualities. You man not even consider a relationship with that person on your first meeting but usually something inside tells you that They may be the one for you.

Now you have to meet. One has to approach and one has to accept the others approach. It is fine for the woman to approach the man. Once that is done an immediate or agreed upon date is decided upon. This first or second encounter will usually decide if there is enough common ground to continue on.

After the second date and all seems well with both parties the Dating ritual will began. In the old days dating was straight forward. Bob dated Susie and no one else and Susie did not have friends with benefits . Now days it seems anything goes so you both have to agree on what kind of dating you want, exclusive, casual or friends with benefits. Mixing these WILL NOT WORK. Someone once told me "There are no rules to this game" Well I don`t consider it a "GAME" and yes you need rules.

If you are dating exclusively ( no F**k buddies) you began to learn about each other,make sacrifices,concessions and negotiations to build a foundation for a lasting relationship. This used to be called " Growing on each other"

SEX makes an entrance at different times depending usually on the success of the above paragraph. Could be two weeks to one year. Different for each couples morals, religious beliefs or comfort zone. Yes it is important but it is not the main ingredient of the relationship cake.

Planning for the future comes next if all of the above is running smoothly. Now you both have to decide on what kind of relationship you want.This means discussing living together, marriage or living separately and just date. There are open relationships but I do not recommend them Also the man is expected to offer the woman a symbol to show her that he is serious. Traditionally that has been THE RING ( Yes this is still done) Does not have to be an engagement ring.

A Partnership between the couple is now formed to support each other emotionally and financially. At this time you may buy a new car together, an R.V. a house or put your finances into an investment or retirement plan. You both have your own little company.

At this stage unless one of the couple turns into a raving drug addict or is hauled off to an institution you both should have decided that you will spend the rest of your life together for better or worse.

The way I see it These are the steps of a relationship. Do you need these steps? I think so. Try building your house from the roof down and see what happens.
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