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 ryansmsk
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 5
How do I get comfortable around women?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
your going to have to start small and talk to women who are easy to talk to , the type that get paid to talk ( not refer to pay services like phone sex or stripers ) mean places where the women get paid to talk to you , like waitress , bank teller , cashier , .you sort of could try and start up some small talk with them to get experience and they won't mind since there used to it . these wouldn't be all out conversations but be a start .
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 13
How do I get comfortable around women?
Posted: 11/30/2008 12:54:21 PM
First, don't stick to your comment of "would really like to get to know at least one woman". Don't get sucked into "one-itis" when you're in the infancy of approaching women.

You're shy. Here's a basic list:
1. Clean yourself up inside and out. It will give YOU confidence. Start working out if you're not already, and look yourself in the mirror and realize that in order to find a right person, you need to BE a right person. Not a stud, just well kept -- a decent fashion sense (check yourself on that via observation), and groomed rather well. Don't think about approaching women until you've done this.

2. After #1, you'll have an inkling of confidence. Be patient, there's no rush to "find a woman". It's not a fire drill.

3. Start by saying hello, *passing by* women. Begin by walking in a grocery store, mall, bookstore, etc., and as you're coming in, you see ladies walking out. Start with ones that aren't "hot", either. Say "nice shoes", and look them in the eye and smile. That's it. No conversation required. Like a QB throwing a screen pass when their confidence is down, you're just doing something simple -- words coming out of your mouth and eye contact -- harmless, no risk. You just say those things, and pass on through -- maintain eye contact when saying that. *Set yourself a goal to do this 10 times a day* -- yes, a high number for you. It's essential and harmless.

4. After you're comfortable with #3, things should follow naturally. Your confidence will be right up there. Heck, maybe a lady tried to start a conversation beforehand. Maybe you even choked then, not expecting it. But you know you're in the right direction.

5. Next step - like #3, try it in a bar or social gathering place. Pretend you're married or have a girlfriend. Tell yourself that a thousand times before going out. You're not trying to land a gal's # -- you're in boot camp, getting used to saying hello.

6. When comfortable with #5, your goal is to do #5, but also, IF given the chance, continue with a conversation. Don't be bewildered by awkward convos stemming from it at first -- don't think about that. Bars are filled with those. Tell yourself you're NOT going to pick up any women if you have any shyness. You will be FAR more comfortable achieving this goal.

7. When comfortable with #6, go ONLINE. Write a few ladies, read their profile, say hello and what you liked about them. No worries. By this time, this should be a cinch. Carry this through and have email conversations with some.

8. Continue with #6, but this time, you should be ready to ask for a phone # after getting a convo with a gal.

There ya go - 8 steps. If you take these steps with patience and relaxation (not trying to get a # from a girl until the end), you'll be 100 times less shy and feel very comfortable.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16
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How do I get comfortable around women?
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:06:07 PM
You mean that women will not kill you????.........

OT......The best way to get comfortable around others, is to be comfortable around yourself first........

If you learn this, more times than not, others will find you to be with and enjoy your company.

Just my opinion.......
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