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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 79
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sexPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
What makes sex "Meaningful" to you ?
and what would make sex "Meaningless to you?


Meaningful____When sexual act is in the mind, it is expressing love (emotion ) to another person whether the love is a short time or not.

Meaningless____ When a sexual act is hunger for a fix ,like a growling stomach that in need of food, that is a meaningless sex because it is just to satisfies a hunger. I've read that people who is always hungry for sex ,the cause is the blood flows to their genitalias it is normal for men as long as their mind can control it, and vice versa on women. just my 2 cents
 EltonBuddha
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 81
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/7/2010 9:17:18 PM
Meaningless: using sex to satisfy my needs, sexual or otherwise (such as the need to feel appreciated, worthy, connected, lovable, attractive, approved of, secure). Obligating sex to the duty of making me feel better, or to temporarily relieve suffering, pain, or tension. “Sentencing it to slave labor in the sweatshop of my neuroses.” (Robert Masters)

Meaningful: Naturally flowing from pre-existing joy, ease, and love for the partner. Ecstatic naked dance of passion, celebrating an already-present connectedness and trust.
 valleyguyaz
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 82
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/25/2010 1:16:12 PM
i never had sex with any woman and thought it was meaningless.it always has meant something to me whether it was with a woman i'm having a relationship with or a one night stand.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 84
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/25/2010 2:14:31 PM
Sex is in itself a meaningful activity. It does not necessarily mean the same thing to the respective partners however. Like any other activity people do it for various reasons. Pleasure, of course, but also relief from anxiety or boredom. Power plays, love or hate. At times an almost transcendent experience, other times, just rutting. It involves the body and the soul so it ALWAYS has some sort of meaning. That's why we keep doing it, imagining doing it and looking for others to DO IT WITH!
 inanna44
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 85
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/25/2010 2:29:46 PM
so the latest thing i've been hearing from guys on the dating scene is that there are 2 types of sex....as they are trying to show me how wise and insightful they are.

so my response has been why not 3 or 7 different types? keep on wankin buddy, later. how impressive that one can shut down their emotions and have a purely physical experience.....? every womans dream guy.

i find someone with an integrated personality much more attractive.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 86
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/25/2010 8:57:53 PM
In my opinion... meaningless is just doing it for the sake of doing it.. I dont feel too much for the person, it doesnt mean anything to me really.

Meaningful is when I have strong feelings for the person, and we have sexual chemistry. With my ex.. I had feelings for him.. but the sex felt meaningless because we didnt have sexual chemistry together.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 87
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/26/2010 12:27:46 PM
I think it's a matter of degree how meaningful sex is. And often, the more meaningful, the more enjoyable. To me that depends on how much passion there is. And there tends to be the most when you're attracted to each other's looks, enjoy each other in general, and feel at ease and intimate, like old friends.

When that passion's there, I want to hold her, to keep kissing her lips, her neck, her face; to stroke her hair, to touch her hands, to whisper to her. I want to adore her, letting the affection I feel pour out. And that is so satisfying I don't want it to end. You're lost in playing together, and nothing seems to exist but the two of you and the moment. As you feel the passion keep surging and falling back, each time surging a little higher, in the end your bodies start to surrender, and the waves overcome you as time seems to stop.
 eastbelle
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 88
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/26/2010 5:34:31 PM
Any sex that satisfies my needs at the particular moment is meaningful. Whether it was with a boyfriend, a FWB partner, or a 1 night stand with some man I had just met at a bar
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 89
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/27/2010 3:02:42 PM
Meaningful Sex ~ sounds like something for teenager...maybe people in their 20s added to cliche list

~Stevie
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 90
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/27/2010 3:25:13 PM

I think people put too much thought into sex, sex should be about sex and nothing else. it should not be related to love or have meaning, it should and is just a necessary biological function that occurs when 2 people are physically attracted to each other.


^^^^That is sooooo sad!

And I do agree, it shows in your posts. I would never want to meet a man like you.

Sex is absolutely wonderful if you are in a loving relationship. Where each person takes the time to make the other one happy. The closeness that is felt after the act, the cuddling and holding on. I had 22 wonderful years of those feelings with my ex-husband. He is now with his current girlfriend, however there was a conversation a while back, where he said he really missed what we had in the bedroom. Some people believe in soul-mates, I have to say he was my bed-mate. Haven't found another one like him.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 91
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/27/2010 5:15:38 PM
If I have an orgasm, the sex is meaningful.
 ALMOSTABLONDE
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 92
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/27/2010 5:32:20 PM
If I have an orgasm, the sex is meaningful.

if i have multiple orgasms, the sex is meaningful
oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 93
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/27/2010 5:36:15 PM

If I have an orgasm, the sex is meaningful.



This.


/end thread.
 LilPrettyMaiden
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 94
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 11/28/2010 6:57:41 PM
Preference: Love-making with a man who is into commitment.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 95
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/8/2010 7:49:57 PM

guess i have just never had meaningless sex





^^^Good on ya for not being intimate with someone unless you were both truly in love..it's the way to go...no doubt




She didn't say she only had sex only when both she and her partner were truly in love. She said she had never had meaningless sex. Her definition of "meaningless" may not be the same as yours.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 96
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 12:19:56 PM
I could never have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to or in love with.
(must be a Libra thing)
But I know guys that do, cus otherwise they'd get none at all.
LOL
So I consider that pretty meaningless.

Meaningful is with someone you are in love with or wish to be.
Everything is just so much more intense on all levels.
:-D
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 97
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 12:29:48 PM
Wouldn't the meaningful bit come into play after the sex rather than during? I'm with those who say it's meaningful - or, it's love-making - when you want to stay and cuddle/talk afterwards, rather than jump out of bed and escape.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 98
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 12:43:02 PM
The most casually meaningless sex of my life was INCREDIBLY meaningful. That is the very nature of sex. That, in fact, is Mother Nature's intent to ensure that humans have sex for Mother Nature's purpose (all of us got here on this planet by way of sex).

If you find sex meaningless, turn the TV off before hand, or at least pay attention enough to what you're doing (as opposed to what is being done to you) to realize what's going on. Watching TV, doing crossword puzzles, making up a grocery list or figuring out how to build a bookcase to fit under the staircase is a bit distracting, and certainly beside the point (pun intended).

Active participation is the watch word. Anyone who finds sex "meaningless" is being passive. Sex is a participant sport. It is encompassing, enveloping, a surrounding, a deeply felt meeting of potentials.

People who complain other people are having "meaningless" sex and that is the reason THEY are unwilling to have sex, miss out being a man, being a woman.

Their choice, their complaint, their loss.

BTW, women are twice as lucky as compared to men when having sex. One, they have an incredible -- literally chemical -- reaction when the man ejaculates, and two they have an incredible reaction when they orgasm. Men, on the other hand, only have an incredible reaction when they ejaculate. Also, women are not limited to just one orgasm per incident, though men generally are.
 womaninblack
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 99
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 2:10:57 PM
Meaningful = with feelings for each other.
Meaningless = without feelings for each other.

At least it´s the way many people understand it.

According to OSHO, as he explains it in his book "INTUTION", sex is purely instinctual, primal, and virtually meaningless ... other than the meaning (love, romance) we feel the need to attach to it due to our inherited feelings of guilt and shame, thanks to religion, etc.

Maybe if we were more primal we'd all be happier about it and there be less confusion and confrontation between the genders.
Perhaps all that wining and dining instead of being a bartering tool with all its woes would come after sex, in joyful celebration of a great time!

I dunno, just sayin'
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 100
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 2:34:56 PM
Women have more frequent, more intense orgasms (i.e., more "meaningful" sex) with "good breeding material", i.e. men who are indeed handsome and/or quite muscular (most important for those couple days a month they are ovulating) -- or at least very lean -- and/or have deep voices. This is true even for women who themselves are not "good breeding material" themselves. "Captain of the (high school) football team" is one meaningful dude, to many a young chick. The biology of youth lingers forever.

Women tend to have "meaningful" sex with good breeding material much, much sooner and with less preamble (indeed, less trappings of "dating") after meeting such material than they do with material which they typically know longer, spend more time and effort on who become their long term partner.

The term "meaningless" can be considered a lament that fewer and fewer handsome/muscular/deep voiced men are available with age (men change face and body shape as they age, their voices a bit more hoarse).

"Doing the (young, handsome, muscled, lean) 'pool boy'" is so common it is a cliche.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 101
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 2:37:21 PM

Perhaps all that wining and dining instead of being a bartering tool with all its woes would come after sex, in joyful celebration of a great time!

I dunno, just sayin'

Oh, I HEAR ya! However, there still seems to be a double standard, and an EXPECTATION in play here, that a woman should "hold out" for whatever actions and behaviors are considered sufficient proof of "meaningfulness" in her social environment,before "giving it up". If a woman did as you suggest, men would joyfully participate in the sex, then go back to their man cave and write that woman down as "NOT relationship material" because she didn't adhere to the "rules" that men b*tch about ad nauseum, but still expect women to follow, REGARDLESS of what words they say with their mouths about sex being used as a tool or a means to "control the dating outcome". They claim to HATE that paradigm, but will not respect nor value a woman who has decided to cast it aside.

So what it comes down to is an individual, case-by-case decision for women as to which of several risks bother her the least when it comes to a sexual encounter. If she gives in to a thoroughly enjoyable sexual encounter, she will be categorized as "gave it up too soon/too easily". If she chooses to wait for further observation of the potential in any given dating situation, she's "using sex to control the dating outcome" . Once in awhile, like the blind squirrel who still manages to find a nut every now and then, 2 people find each other and don't need to WORRY about the double bind double standard. Or, a woman owns her sexuality and lets the chips fall where they may. Sometimes women just decide that not dating and being single-or finding a partner some other way- is MORE pleasant than the continuing parade of "Well, I wonder which way is right and which way is wrong withTHIS guy-and do I really give a rats' ass?"
Cindy O
 hemanmachostudlovegod
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 102
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 2:57:15 PM
The meaning of sex is there so if someone would be blind to it then something else is going on. Maybe they are behind on the rent and worried about that. Maybe their drug use clouded their brain. Maybe they have yet to recover from some great emotional injury. It's got to be something like that, to rob sex of its obvious importance.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 103
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 3:02:40 PM

there still seems to be a double standard ... that a woman should "hold out" for whatever actions and behaviors are considered sufficient proof of "meaningfulness" in her social environment,before "giving it up".


It's not a double standard, but rather two different types of men, and one woman's reaction to them.

The man a (particular) woman finds so handsome and/or muscular (or maybe exceptionally lean) with a deep voice that she instantly wants to jump him is a man many, many other women also find attractive. Such men may or may not be of the "wandering type", but many are either by nature or by happenstance. Certainly, such men are far more frequently approached by other women.

A woman wanting a monagamous relationship with a man will more usually "hold out" to see just how quickly he might move on. It's a game of brinksmanship in that -- depending on the man -- most men give up the chase sooner or later, often sooner.

Many monagamous men are monaganous simply because they have no other opportunity. However, in the end, most men are committed to their woman, but handsome/muscular/deep-voiced men are so because they want to be rather than because they have to be.

Same same goes for beautiful/dynamite-bodied/lilting-voiced women. Hence, the song of long ago, "(Be Sure To) Make An Ugly Woman Your Wife". Most women want to be committed to their man; some women have no other choice.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 104
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 6:24:37 PM
"If I have an orgasm, the sex is meaningful."

Good to know that even the "good" girls have a sexual barometer. Sometimes sex is just sex. There is nothing wrong with that. It is better, I think, when the two having sex have some sort of bond or chemistry or a least a liking and respect for each other. To be truly in love is even better yet. There is something to be said for safe, comfortable, hot, passionate sex with someone you've been with for years and years.

But still, sometimes sex is just sex. And sex is wasted on the young. I laugh when I get emails from the 25 year olds saying "wanna f-ck" or "I like older women, wanna get together" - I don't want to be a teacher, I want someone who knows what they are doing. I want the 50 something year old guy who knows his way around the bed sheets. Give me a good 50 something guy any day. The young studs can come over and mow my lawn or clean my toilets.....
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 105
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/11/2010 6:12:02 PM

If I have an orgasm, the sex is meaningful.


This either means that orgasms are so infrequent that....well..it is meaningful...or your a man.
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