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Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 100
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sexPage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Women have more frequent, more intense orgasms (i.e., more "meaningful" sex) with "good breeding material", i.e. men who are indeed handsome and/or quite muscular (most important for those couple days a month they are ovulating) -- or at least very lean -- and/or have deep voices. This is true even for women who themselves are not "good breeding material" themselves. "Captain of the (high school) football team" is one meaningful dude, to many a young chick. The biology of youth lingers forever.

Women tend to have "meaningful" sex with good breeding material much, much sooner and with less preamble (indeed, less trappings of "dating") after meeting such material than they do with material which they typically know longer, spend more time and effort on who become their long term partner.

The term "meaningless" can be considered a lament that fewer and fewer handsome/muscular/deep voiced men are available with age (men change face and body shape as they age, their voices a bit more hoarse).

"Doing the (young, handsome, muscled, lean) 'pool boy'" is so common it is a cliche.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 101
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 2:37:21 PM

Perhaps all that wining and dining instead of being a bartering tool with all its woes would come after sex, in joyful celebration of a great time!

I dunno, just sayin'

Oh, I HEAR ya! However, there still seems to be a double standard, and an EXPECTATION in play here, that a woman should "hold out" for whatever actions and behaviors are considered sufficient proof of "meaningfulness" in her social environment,before "giving it up". If a woman did as you suggest, men would joyfully participate in the sex, then go back to their man cave and write that woman down as "NOT relationship material" because she didn't adhere to the "rules" that men b*tch about ad nauseum, but still expect women to follow, REGARDLESS of what words they say with their mouths about sex being used as a tool or a means to "control the dating outcome". They claim to HATE that paradigm, but will not respect nor value a woman who has decided to cast it aside.

So what it comes down to is an individual, case-by-case decision for women as to which of several risks bother her the least when it comes to a sexual encounter. If she gives in to a thoroughly enjoyable sexual encounter, she will be categorized as "gave it up too soon/too easily". If she chooses to wait for further observation of the potential in any given dating situation, she's "using sex to control the dating outcome" . Once in awhile, like the blind squirrel who still manages to find a nut every now and then, 2 people find each other and don't need to WORRY about the double bind double standard. Or, a woman owns her sexuality and lets the chips fall where they may. Sometimes women just decide that not dating and being single-or finding a partner some other way- is MORE pleasant than the continuing parade of "Well, I wonder which way is right and which way is wrong withTHIS guy-and do I really give a rats' ass?"
Cindy O
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 102
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 2:57:15 PM
The meaning of sex is there so if someone would be blind to it then something else is going on. Maybe they are behind on the rent and worried about that. Maybe their drug use clouded their brain. Maybe they have yet to recover from some great emotional injury. It's got to be something like that, to rob sex of its obvious importance.
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 103
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Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 3:02:40 PM

there still seems to be a double standard ... that a woman should "hold out" for whatever actions and behaviors are considered sufficient proof of "meaningfulness" in her social environment,before "giving it up".

It's not a double standard, but rather two different types of men, and one woman's reaction to them.

The man a (particular) woman finds so handsome and/or muscular (or maybe exceptionally lean) with a deep voice that she instantly wants to jump him is a man many, many other women also find attractive. Such men may or may not be of the "wandering type", but many are either by nature or by happenstance. Certainly, such men are far more frequently approached by other women.

A woman wanting a monagamous relationship with a man will more usually "hold out" to see just how quickly he might move on. It's a game of brinksmanship in that -- depending on the man -- most men give up the chase sooner or later, often sooner.

Many monagamous men are monaganous simply because they have no other opportunity. However, in the end, most men are committed to their woman, but handsome/muscular/deep-voiced men are so because they want to be rather than because they have to be.

Same same goes for beautiful/dynamite-bodied/lilting-voiced women. Hence, the song of long ago, "(Be Sure To) Make An Ugly Woman Your Wife". Most women want to be committed to their man; some women have no other choice.
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 104
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/9/2010 6:24:37 PM
"If I have an orgasm, the sex is meaningful."

Good to know that even the "good" girls have a sexual barometer. Sometimes sex is just sex. There is nothing wrong with that. It is better, I think, when the two having sex have some sort of bond or chemistry or a least a liking and respect for each other. To be truly in love is even better yet. There is something to be said for safe, comfortable, hot, passionate sex with someone you've been with for years and years.

But still, sometimes sex is just sex. And sex is wasted on the young. I laugh when I get emails from the 25 year olds saying "wanna f-ck" or "I like older women, wanna get together" - I don't want to be a teacher, I want someone who knows what they are doing. I want the 50 something year old guy who knows his way around the bed sheets. Give me a good 50 something guy any day. The young studs can come over and mow my lawn or clean my toilets.....
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 105
Meaningful vs Meaningless sex
Posted: 12/11/2010 6:12:02 PM

If I have an orgasm, the sex is meaningful.

This either means that orgasms are so infrequent is meaningful...or your a man.
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