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 discrete_contact
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 122
My gf won't even let me touch her down therePage 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
If she would need sex and you won't do it for 4 months....you would be OUT in 5 sec/sec if you haven't learned this yet. If she does this to you after 4 months (hanging out so much though)...then find another one for sex at least and give her slack as she likes....years of slack and don't even mention sex anymore....don't look at her physical appearance anymore and STOP telling her how good looking she is. She is controlling you knowing that you like her and also she know that she can have sex any time as she would like "out there". Wake up guy...you will end up in "alimony territory" one day. Red light flashing.
This is a clear proof that is all about her and what her endless needs are and not for a second about you. Go and suffer guy, later you will find out if it was worth or not....BUT....if does not work this for you....Welcome to the "sharks" group later you will be a very good candidate for the Big White Shark King. That's how guys won't give a sh.t after attemps like this failing. So go and figure...
 mark4prez08
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 125
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:26:32 PM
she was probably molested as a child, this is a common reaction. Just talk to her and find out the deal, if you really want to be with her and not lookin for a roll in the sack this shouldn't even be an issue.
 GoodMorningGlory
Joined: 12/11/2008
Msg: 131
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 12/23/2008 1:14:37 AM
I started getting really sexual with my last girlfriend after a few months in terms of talking about it and getting more physical with her and she said this:

"You need to let me open up on my own terms. I need time to open up sexually when I'm ready."

It was like hitting a brick wall, but I really liked her so I said "Okay, I'll back off until you're ready." The next day she opened up like crazy and from that point on, I was sexually satisfied. I'm not saying it'll happen exactly like that for you, but I'm saying that sometimes she just needs to see that you are willing to let her do it on her own terms.

Of course, a little over a year later, she broke up with me and completely destroyed my heart, but that is besides the point.

Good luck, and at least try to let her do the initiation for a little bit. You may be surprised by what happens.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 132
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:55:20 AM

perhaps she's just a good girl and they're the best of all


How sad that in the 21st. century, men are still dividing women into madonnas and whores.

Hey, smoranean, whether a woman (not a girl) has sex or not, it has nothing to do with how "good" she is in any sense of the word. Categorizing women by their willingness to have sex and saying those "good girls" are the "best of all" is ludicrous; the worth of a woman is not based on her decision whether to have sex.

OP, if she doesn't want to have sex, respect it or leave her. Personally, since you are both adults, I wouldn't be in a four month relationship with someone who doesn't want a physical relationship with me.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 142
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 2/27/2009 6:38:04 AM
Naturally, people are jumping all over this guy as if he is some kind of rapist for wanting to feel loved by someone who supposedly is his girlfriend. If the women in here could jump off of the "sex fiend" bandwagon and actually read into what the OP is saying, it's obviously not just a sex issue. She is showing NO signs of affection or caring towards him whatsoever. It sounds like he really cares for her, or he wouldn't have even asked a question. He would have just found someone else. Maybe it's normal for the people commenting in here to be cold and distant from their partners but to me this is a very hurtful thing. There are two sides to every coin and the fact she's distancing herself and is not even willing to give an affectionate peck on the cheek makes men feel undesirable and very hurt. This isn't just about sex. If the women in here commenting can't understand that someone needs to feel close to someone else in a relationship than I feel sorry for the men you date. Maybe he could be a little more patient but on the flip side, she is calous and is being very emotionally abusive to this person.
 pbear511
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 144
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 2/27/2009 9:23:50 AM
sounds like she needs some kind of counseling or therapy to figure out what her issues with intimacy are. she was a virgin until 23 and now won't have sex with someone who she's been dating 3 times a week for 4 months. doesn't sound too healthy to me. if you want to stick around and help her with her issues, then that's up to you. at 25, i might have been willing to do that, but at 45 i'm looking for someone who's already worked through their issues.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 145
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 2/27/2009 9:35:28 AM
^^^have to agree with Mr. Bear here. It will take enormous patience on your part OP to help her with her issues. That is, if she really wants it. But, beginning a relationship with this much difficulty? Hmmm....I would seriously think about moving along to a lady who is more receptive to a wholesome natural relationship. Good luck kid!
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 147
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 2/27/2009 11:54:45 AM
Yaotzen: Why are you addressing me? I'm confused. He's already posted more than once that her attitude is very uncaring in more ways than just sexual and THAT is his main problem. Am I the only one actually reading what he wrote? I know how popular it is to completely hate men these days but it still perplexes me why so many men are willing to sell other guys up the river who are just asking for real advice. It would be a treat to see one man grow a spine in here and not just crawl around drooling and agreeing with pretty much every female opinion even when it's completely uncalled for and out to lunch. The biggest laugh is if the sexes were reversed in this thread every woman would be saying "kick him to the curb" calling him gay or saying he wasn't man enough (I've seen this in other similar threads). It's like everyone has to walk on eggshells and make sure every feeling or quirk a woman has is catered to non stop but when a man's feelings are hurt or he has emotional issues he should just crawl into a hole and deal with it. The universal hate on for men no matter what the situation is really starting to wear thin with me.
 hotXXbunz
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 152
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 2/28/2009 12:43:35 AM
Well at the age of 24 if she has only had one other sexual partner, wouldn't you find that a turn on that she is feeling enough to want to make this a great relationship. It seems that she is wanting more from you, just not able to give it at this point. The choice to stay with her would have to be a personal one. Do you want a wholesome girl that has been sexually careful and wated for a loving relationship, or are you looking for a woman that is easy. If you want someone more experienced, move on, if not, talk to her and tell her your feeling and what you would like out of a relationship...be honest, she may open up to you in more ways than one
 LexyAlexia
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 154
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 2/28/2009 3:48:48 AM

Maybe he could be a little more patient but on the flip side, she is calous and is being very emotionally abusive to this person.


Yes, he is only slightly wrong and she is very evil. No, she explain why she feel as she does. One can accept this or leave, but she is not abuse any body. Even OP conclude it is perhap her personality or upbringing that cause this, not blameing her.


He's already posted more than once that her attitude is very uncaring in more ways than just sexual and THAT is his main problem.


If sex is not the main problem his first post would not be entirely about sex and touching her "down there". It is after many negative post did he change his story to sex does not matter.

Also, in post 76 he admit to playing game and trying to manipulate her into giving what he wants. He lose any credibility of careing about and respecting her when this happen. I hope they are no longer together.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 158
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 3/1/2009 10:48:42 AM
Wow and double wow !!!!!! Perhaps your gf is turn off the way you manhandle her, a woman can sense a man who just want sex with out feelings" that makes most women *feel dirty*". Intimacy is two way street, most men knows the magic touch that a woman would soar to ecstacy. If_ I am a man _the first thing I would do to a woman is tender/loving/care = sensuality,that is the magic touch. Reading your post makes me puke, a real macho man won't blabber to this forum that his GF won't let him touch her down there, but at least you have a bit of decency not to post your picture in your profile. I hope there are still lots of men here in POF who are decent and not repulsive.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 159
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 3/1/2009 10:58:50 AM
Mgs.193 Browngreeneyes your reply to the OP is a A GOOD SHOT for the content of the heart is love and the content of the mind is SEX.
 discrete_contact
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 160
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 3/1/2009 11:12:20 AM
Yes try her heart and her...."mind". Its not about you guy try and learn it. Its about when she "feels confortable" does not matter what price you pay and what you may feel. Your feelings or what you feel means pretty much crap for her anyways.
That's her respect for you..-->.."her needs". When she needs it its fine, otherwise go for a walk and suck it up.
My approach in these case its use the "backup" and wait as long as it takes if you still interested. Open the next option .... and work on it.
Isn't the case here? Why when its about any other planning of any types its about the backup plan? When you apply for a College or a University you just go for one single place?.....
You never know she may do the same thing in the "background" and just let you know one day....."I am sorry"...or maybe she is just waiting for the "right one"....no mater if you are called her "man".
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 162
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:57:43 PM
Waisting your time? If this is how you feel about this girl, then you really aren't treating her any different than her former boyfriend.

She is your girlfriend, not your wife and as such you don't have a rightful expectation to sex with her, neither does the fact that she isn't a virgin. Even your notion that you only want to pleasure her is imposing your will on her.

If you really like this girl, then be flattered that she calls you her boyfriend and be grateful for the imtamacy that she does give you. If you can't wait for more, than move on and don't jade her anymore than she already is.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 165
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 3/1/2009 9:41:27 PM
You fricking moron. Leave her alone. It is obvious that the only thing you spend time with her for is to get in her pants.

She deserves better than you. Go use your hand if that's all you are looking for from her. Sex is just that, sex. She considers herself more than that. Hey, I hear fertility clinics provide magazines....why don't you go there and spread some seed?

Go buy some sexy magazines and choke the chicken...

She is a person with self value. Consider someone besides the little head in your pants. What does she like? Who is she? Does she like chicken or beef? What kind of movies does she enjoy? Is she a Cancer or a Sagitarius? What are her spiritual beliefs?

If its nooky you're looking for, go find an easy chick and I wish you the best of VD.
 lissylue
Joined: 7/13/2010
Msg: 175
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/5/2011 8:19:50 PM
Coming from a girls perspective...
If the girl is with you, and calls you hers and you truly care about her, you will wait. There has to be some proven boundaries shown. This is one of her boundaries right now. It will loosen up. She just doesn't want to get hurt again which is understandable. You can get sex from any two cent hooker, but a girl that's worth it, might just be laying some foundation for your relationship to stand up on. Girls' get horny, just like guys, I'm sure there have been days where she wants to rip your clothes off, but she is showing self control. I know you are as well, and it's okay to be a little antsy, but the choice is ultimately up to you.

Just a few suggestions.
Be intimate with her in other ways, kiss her, give her back rubs, rub her feet, there are other ways to be intimate without going down her pants.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 177
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/6/2011 1:33:19 PM
People in there early to mid 20's acting like preteens make me sick
honestly your generation urrrrg!!!!!
 coznviny
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 178
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/6/2011 9:22:12 PM
Could be many reasons but i think she is telling the truth, i understand the feeling though im a guy too LOL

Keep communicating with her an tell her how you really care about her.
Just give it a little more time, maybe another month and if nothing explain that you need to make love or it wont work & that you're going crazy and you're faithful to her only.

Good luck Chief
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 182
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/8/2011 4:07:22 PM
Have you made sure she doesnt have an adams apple?


That might explain it


 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 183
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/8/2011 4:08:54 PM
She said she isn't comfortble & has only 1 other partner, why do you continue to pressure her? You have only been exclusive for 1 month! I wouldn't let a guy down there either if I was only exclusive for a month, it takes time to get to know someone, & to feel comfortable with them. Leave her alone & back off already, give her time to feel comfortable. Go play w/yourself & stop being so obsessed w/sex.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 185
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/8/2011 9:49:45 PM
Well, obviously she doesn’t like it. Why is it so important to you to finger her? Can’t you spend your time on getting to know her and on the things she actually likes, instead of being so damned persistent about stuff you do to her that she dislikes? Unbelievable, are you that dense?
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 187
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/9/2011 3:04:41 AM
One of the things that always fascinates me with this type of topic is that where its a woman that is the one not interested in sex, or holding out it tends to be majoritively the view that the man should respect her wishes. wait etc etc and this will often also be reflected within relationships and marriages too as though in some way a womans sexual wants or "not wants" should for some reason be more than 50% of the equation and should therefore be the ones that are more important and the ones to dictate what should or shouldnt happen

Not necessarily saying anything specific there other than what I've observed time and time again not just with threads on places like this but also with real world discussions

But it does scream of both indoctrinated double standards, social stereotypes and inequality as though where sex is concerned what the female in the equation wants or doesnt want is for somereason more "right" and whether the man wants more or less sex he should be the one to "consider" what the woman wants far more than the reverse or some kind of equal stance where a compromise is sought

As the woman isnt that much past being a teenager then when being dated by another not long out of teenager status this scared, unsure almost adolescant form of stuff is I guess a bit more understandable to some extent but in an actual bonafide "grown up" I'd have already put this one into the "too many issues and hang ups" pile and moved on tbh

And I reckon that if this is what shes like now and this relationship goes anywhere youre likely to find yourself having another "dry spell" whenever you wont buy her the new kitchen, sofa, carpets, holiday or dress she wants even if your reason is because you just cant afford it personally
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 191
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/9/2011 8:39:10 PM
this is easy OP...

get a new GF>
 Saturn111
Joined: 1/19/2011
Msg: 192
My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/10/2011 5:57:53 PM
Obviously she is not into sex that much. Let's face it, if your horny things happen. Your wasting your time! Time to find a girl who is on the same page as you sexually or you will be frustrated for a very long time. Good luck.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 200
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My gf won't even let me touch her down there
Posted: 10/11/2011 8:27:50 PM
I agree with FreeFalling1231 and the others.

If you are not compatible now, more than likely you will not be in the future. There is a slim chance you can work on this, but it will require time. If you think your time is more valuable move on.
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