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 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 2
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Be happy that he satisfies you but I have been with women who, unfortunately, uh, how do I say this without offending, well their vagina's just didn't rub me in the right places in certain positions. In those cases I did sometimes take a very long time to orgasm through vaginal intercourse.


but this "little problem" tends to lead me to feel as if I'm not satisfying him!


OMG! Did I just read that right? So many men have been bashed on these forums for saying the EXACT same thing! It's great to see that the feeling can be mutual. It's just much rarer for men to have trouble reaching orgasm.
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 3
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:05:12 PM
Is his first initial J? This sounds like my ex.

OP I've dealt with something similar. Ask him if he masturbates A LOT? I mean like 5-6 times a day and then still wants to have sex just as often. Tell him to cut back and I bet his "problem" will get easier to cum.

I don't know if it's the same with men, but I know if I masturbate a lot especially with a toy, it makes it harder and it takes longer for me to cum when with another person. I have to ween myself off of toys when I'm in a relationship.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 4
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:24:08 PM

Does he have a small penis?


Ah crap! Now I've somehow implied I have a small penis. Well.... uh.... it's not...it's uh, huge...HUGE, I tell ya! Yeah... that's the ticket. It's soooo huge my wife, uh... Morgan Fairchild, yeah that's it, rents it out to those penis-worshippers over in the far-east as a monument.

Sorry. Now back to the previously-scheduled serious forum.
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 7
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:42:20 PM
it's POSSIBLE it is a psychological problem..he has a problem 'releasing' or 'giving of himself' to women, esp. if he doesn't know and trust her really, REALLY well..could have a hard time relaxing..trusting

or it could also be a physiological thing as I think most posters above have addressed.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 8
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High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 3:53:02 PM
I knew a guy like that - it was because he was affraid to get his partners pregnant! He had gotten a woman pregnant previously and couldn't orgasm without the fear!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 9
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High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 4:04:38 PM
he is just not getting the kind of stimulation he needs by vaginal sex.
This doesn't reflect on you at all.
Yes, it is frustrating.......and as others have suggested....
try no sex and no masturbation for a few days......see if that helps....
but my guess is he is far too used to a "tight grip" to get off any other way.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 10
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High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 5:23:12 PM
Big Daddy......I agree with you whole heartedly....
but women are no different than men on this issue....
we want to be able to please our partner sexually.
It is just as frustrating for a woman to not be the "object" that is satisfying her man...
as it is for men that can't make a woman cum and she needs a vibrator to finish...

So.....it may not seem like a big deal.....but emotionally....it tends to get to ya.
it's very hard not to take it personally..even tho we know deep down it isn't about our performance.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11
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High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 5:55:24 PM
My ex was kind of like that... only he'd eventually orgasm with intercourse. A *quickie* for him was 45 min.

Are you using condoms?? If you are it could be desensitizing him just enough that he's not getting the kind of stimulation he needs in order to climax. Can try putting one or two drops (SMALL drops!!) into the tip of the condom before putting it on. Should help increase what he's feeling. I've also heard that the poly condoms transmit heat better than latex.. might want to try that.

If he's ok with this, why can't you be? Trust me.. I totally understand how you could feel that you aren't satisfying him (I'd posted about that on another thread recently)... us ladies like to experience that sense of job satisfaction just like many men. If you keep harping on him about it, it will only make it worse for both of you.

Kick back and enjoy the time you spend together... let him pamper and spoil you.. and rock your world. Some women would love to have a partner that could hold off longer.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 13
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High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/3/2008 6:01:03 PM
that may or not be the case DB....
for some men....it just happens w/ age.
My FWB of the passed couple years has this issue.....and it's definately not a control issue. He would definately rather cum while having intercourse....and sometimes he can....but it's not the norm for him.....
I have gotten quite use to the fact that I will be finishing him w/ my mouth and hands....and sometimes a finger
Bothered me at first....just as with the OP....but once I realized it wasn't about my performance....or my vagina....I accepted it was not really an "issue" to worry about.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 14
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High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:08:42 AM
and I agree DB.....that for some that can be the issue.
For others, it is a physical....not emotional...issue tho.
At your age......I hadn't experienced it either.....

Getting older plays some damn funny tricks on the body!!
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 15
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:34:16 AM
possibly better than the "Minutemen" that so many women complain about?

msut be fairly common, though I take quite some time myself..
 thebigslim
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 16
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High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:20:27 AM
I am having the EXACT same problem with my current girlfriend, and I can't figure it out for the life of me. We have been together for a little over 2 months and have had sex a few times (also lost my V-card to her as well .... yeah I know, but better late than never lol). Anyways, I was always worried about being the minute man, but turns out I cant seem to have my orgasm during sex.... hell I sometimes don't have one even with oral or anything else sometimes too. And our sessions last well over an hour, good thing I love foreplay!

Maybe its a psychological thing that some guys can't do it for a certain period of time. The comfort level is definitely there, neither one of us use drugs and she is good at the things she does. The way I look at it, we are still both trying out new positions and maybe I haven't found the right one that works for me yet, who knows. One thing is for certain though, I make damn sure that I make her achieve as many orgasms as possible cause I love to make her feel good.

The frustration factor is there on my part from time to time, but we deal with it and to be honest..... whether I orgasm or not honestly doesn't bother me so as long as I can make her feel good. I just feel bad that she wants me to go inside of her and I can't at this moment in time. I wonder how long I would have to consider this to be a problem for if it continues.
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 20
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/4/2008 12:05:55 PM
This is terrific! But now I'm beginning to get a bit worried. Our relations could last anywhere close to an hour, or longer and still he has not ejaculated. At times he becomes fustrated, and I try to tell him that the more he dwells upon this, the less he will reach an orgasm.
Sounds like you have mutual frustration for no real reason beyond the desire to appease the other. If you both are pleased...enjoy the lovmaking sessions why even "worry" or get "frustrated" by the fact that it takes awhile longer to reach orgasm/ejaculation. Enjoy the lovemaking....every kiss, stroke, caress, thrust, gaze,lick,. suck, touch, moan, groan, utterance......enjoy the sharing of soulful spirits. No tricks to it actually....just relax and enjoy!

It is likely not a medical issue, I myself am similar(hence username) in that it takes me on average 40-90 min to have an orgasm. This is never a problem for me outside of the fact that most women are use to men getting off in 5 -10 min and when it doesnt happen dispite prior discussions on topic. Many times women are so use to the 5 min orgasm that after she's had a few orgasms she begins to TRY to get me off. Often times its because those women unwittingly equate the male orgasm to their own sexiness/ability, which is NOT the case. When this occurs I find that my size then becomes even more of an issue and what was wonderful and would have continued to be becomes a QUEST....the quest to get me off which takes focus away from the reason we are there. We are there to SHARE, to enjoy, to COMMUNICATE through the most intimate touches not to meet a "challenge" to meet some standard based upon ego/insecurity. Its when it becomes a quest that the lubrication dwindles even more rapidly, the size particularly thickness of 7" circumference begins to turn from means in which to pleasurably touch and stimulate nerves often not explored fully to press/aggitate those same nerves and pain necessitates a stop to what was a wonderful, passionate,loving,giving lovemaking session. It doesnt have to be an issue but certainly it is a reason I feel free to be open about discussing it. Better to be forewarned.
The direct answer to the OP's post and thread's question is its neither high stamina nor retarded ejaculation. It just is the way some of us are wired. It could be based on some psychological issues or simply physiological makeup. It is not from TRYING to last or having plumbing that doesnt allow for ejaculation. Actually, ejaculation and orgasm are NOT mutually inclusive or synonomous. We're not odd....just different in this aspect of life.

Besides, I say that there are 2 kinds of orgasms...mental/emotional and physical. If you ejoy the mental/emotional connections that come from truely caring about each other and wanting to express that and simply enjoying the experience of BEING that is huge. You can have that type of orgasm EVERY time you are together even without actually having intercourse. It will ONLY ACCENTUATE the ability of BOTH parties to have physical orgasms as well. In other words.....make love to the MIND/SOUL/Spirit and the body will ENJOY and happily follow. From your post, you havent gotten there yet. The connection may be or seem great but its not what it should or could be. Work on it and the rest will follow.

Again, my advice is to simply enjoy the experience. If YOU are not bothered and ENJOY the length of time of your lovemaking, HE will have not reason to become frustrated. Surely you will enjoy the prolonged sessions and it will end in mutually satisfying albiet wonderfully pleasurably exhausting orgasms for both of you.
 dyinginside11
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 22
I'm in agreement with many of the other replies...it seems likely
Posted: 12/12/2009 9:45:42 AM
I dunno. I used to have trouble ejaculating when recieving oral, and girlfriends would blame themselves and I'd say, no no, it's me, I can't ejaculate from head from any woman. But then, I came across this female friend of mine and WOW. She could give good head and I was bustin a nut in like 3o seconds flat everytime, and I don't know what she was doing right, but there was something there.

So maybe just try something different than the norm, it might tickle something he didn't even realize could be tickled.
 CaptainDad
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 24
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/16/2009 12:02:39 PM
It can happen at any time for no reason for many men. When my wife and I were engaged it happened quite a lot. Fear of pregnancy, holding off to make she she had a good time, trying different things, etc. Eventually, as we got used to each other it stopped happening and our sessions would last 20-40 minutes with both of us orgasming at least once 90+% of the time.

The first woman I slept with after my wife passed was very different and it took a long time to orgasm with her. Not for her lack of trying, but because she felt different, the level of trust wasn't there, we didn't know each others triggers, and I was worried about her satisfaction since she wasn't very vocal. (and I generally don't masturbate often when in a sexual relationship)

If you both relax and enjoy yourselves then it will probably work out. Not many men will leave a relationship because they are having orgasm issues.

Just be sure to remember that it isn't you, and it isn't a problem.
 forumrum
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 25
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/16/2009 12:10:52 PM
No worries. I fake it half the time. Sometimes you just get bored. Doesn't mean it didn't feel good or it's boring all the time.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 26
High Stamina or Retarded Ejaculation?
Posted: 12/16/2009 12:34:18 PM
I happen to have the same problem. However, I do not fake it. But I do not get frustrated if I do not get my rocks off. What I'd do is first try to make sure she gets a couple of orgasms. Then try different things and explore. With my ex gf, for instance sometimes what would throw me over the edge was slow deep penetration and feeling her cervix. This would make her come so hard, that I would them come as well. Or if nothing seem to work she would ask me to masturbate and come all over her. Other times what worked is her talking to me about going to a public place wearing no panties, mess around under the table and then doing it on the parking lot. So, you never know what is going to trigger it, so keep trying new things.

Why I do not fake it. For the same reason that I would not like it if she faked it. That is the worst thing you can do because you do not then work at sexual communication. For instance, when I first started going out with my ex, she had a hard time reaching a vaginal orgasm. It turns out that is very common. So what we began to do is slow down and work at it, until one day, pow, she reached one. And little by little she got to even have 4 vaginal orgasms and then to close it one clitoral.
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