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Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 3
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reasonPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Some people are great pretenders. But they can't keep it up forever. Eventually they get tired of pretending and just stop.
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 5
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Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/6/2008 12:05:58 PM
Where do you get hate from what he said? Men are strange creatures, but so are we.
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 7
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Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/6/2008 3:42:53 PM
Maybe he got scared after declaring he loved you. Perhaps he didn't intend it or mean it and it just slipped out. He then realised he had to back out before he hurt you more. Or, he did mean it and then realised it was getting serious and it scared him. He might have withdrawn to think about it and get a sense of balance. Or it could be that whatever is coming up in the future is bad enough that he thinks you won't find it acceptable, so he's dumping you before you dump him. Finally, some guys just seem to do this. I can only assume they get themselves into a confused emotional mess and back out in order to sort themselves out. They interpret the need to withdraw as it not working and so don't ever tackle the issues that have made them feel confused. Whatever the reason, it is very painful and confusing and I certainly feel for you.
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 9
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:02:45 PM
The biggest mistake women make is believing men are complicated beings, they are not. They are simple beings. This man is just not that much in to you.
If you learn nothing else in this life about relationships, please learn this. Look not at what they say, only look at what they do. That is your answer and no other.
Don't waste your time attempting to understand why, it is what it is. Next........
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 11
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Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/7/2008 10:48:52 AM
This is why people are afraid to fall in love.

Only he knows the answer.
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 13
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Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:33:06 PM

Some people are great pretenders. But they can't keep it up forever.

That is so true. Every action screams forever then you have the nerve to ask. They all want the full benefits of a wonderful lioving relationship as long as you ask for nothing in return.
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 15
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/7/2008 5:55:45 PM
He is a liar and cheater and if would RUN FOR THE HILLS. He did you a favor by leaving. Consider yourself lucky. Know this type of person exists. Learn this and remember. If you ever run into another scarey guy like this.... be thankful he is out of your life.
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 16
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/7/2008 6:20:30 PM
As I always tell women, most of the time Men tell women what they want to hear, to get what they want. When another oppertunity comes along, they change there tune.

If it was real, he would have told you why he did this, or anyone that doesn this should be honest about why.

But the real fact is, the relationship wasn't real in the first place, and the women was being played with. What you thought was real, wasn't.

Women sometimes play this on men too.

With all the players, cheaters, liers, and fakers out there how many of you women really spot the real guys????

When I do films to protect women from abuse, you would think women would flock to me, but they probably think it's a line. They often don't even check out my web site.

Oh well, if a lady wants a good man, it's easy to tell whom they are. The ones that are not telling your what you want to hear, and instead telling you what you need to hear, and complete honesty too.

How many women fall for the wrong things, instead of listening to the right clues. Lot's of them. A player is a player, a game is a game, and the few that are special are normally mis0understood for their frankness. Good Luck.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 20
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Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:07:28 AM
First, let me address the use of the term "bi-polar" (ala "manic/depressive") by both LOTUSBLANCA and RENEGADEOUTLAW. This is a medical term and there is no information provided to substantiate the use of this term.
Second, rain48, guys can be very criptic at best and cowards at worst. I don't recall if you indicated your ages but he sounds like he is in his late teens or early twenties. No man who truly cares about you would treat you the way you were treated. He may have found someone else and didn't feel he could see the both of you at the same time and didn't know how to be honest with you. This is one senerio out of about 3,000 that I can think of. Don't waste time looking for an answer you'll never find. Take it as a learning experience, don't believe everything a man tells you to mean what it means to you. Our gender can deceive even ourselves in order to satisfy more basic urges. The only advise and old guy like me can give you is to be a healthy skeptic and TAKE YOUR TIME; the right guy will respect that. Good luck.
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 22
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/8/2008 2:15:26 PM
Several thing that is not mentioned on this string are:

Most people play games, most of the guys online are not real at all, and in some cases their are guys online that are of the criminal nature. And, the ladies wouldn't know if they tried.

Come on people, where is the reality in all of this, excuses is all I normally hear.
How many real dangerous experiences are mentioned.

I have had friends raped, stolen money from and in some cases (not here that I know of) even killed by guys they met online.

So many players, so many liers, so many jerks that when a good guy comes along...he's the one that everyone wants to dump on.

Now how many post is talking about all of these real truths that are happening every day, everywhere?

Ladies, learn the difference from a guy that always says what you want to hear, and running from the few guys that tell you what you need to hear! OK!

God Bless all of the women (and some men) that have been victums of our thug like society we have so fluently in todays world. What club, or singles group, or church singles group doesn't have jerks that are abusing women....NONE! And how many guys are reporting to the women what is really all arround them, hardly any!

Every guy I have talked to, knows all about how bad the gang problem is now, but nobody tells most of the women. Well --gang members, your only fooling yourself if you think your getting away with your crime. God is watching!!!

And for all the abuse, and slander, and harrassment I get for speaking out against it....bring it on. Women should be treated with the upmost respect, and the women out there that are supporting the gangs, and the thug like guys...get real. How much gang banging can you take. And, when you too old, you'll just be replaced with younger women anyway!

You gorgeous, intelligent and special ladies out there--take notice, this is reality!
(that most guys don't want you to know.)

Hey, you thugs, you already have tried to ruin my life for serving the lord, and it didn't work, so lay off the B.S. and stop using and abusing the women in our world.
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 29
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/9/2008 10:55:29 PM
UGH--I'm in the same boat, OP. Great guy for three months, all excited about us and life and shite, and then--boom, he's gone with not even a good-bye. Men retreat for lots of reasons. In your case, the ex? That did NOT just "come down the pike" overnight, he had to have been talking to her and thinking about it for a while. But, hey, consider yourself blessed to have gotten any explanation, even a bullsh it one.

To all the men who invariably post that "he got what he came for" (sex)--really? You REALLY feel your own gender is so smarmy? I don't agree. I think men are just like women, they crave love, but get scared when it might actually be there. Scared that they might actually come to depend on someone else, scared to surrender control, scared that they might get hurt/rejected, and most of all scared that they might not be able to survive getting hurt again. So to all you scared men out there, I say SUCK IT UP!!

And PS--breaking up over career is just stupid.
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 31
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/10/2008 6:46:06 PM
It kills inside to loose a person that you love, but the only foresite toward the future that i can recommend is that if he comes back, quite often ,,,,,,,,,,,,,the pattern will repeat itself.
And this isn't the first time that he has done something like this...............I don't know if evaluating his behaviour might help you make logic of his craziness. Good Luck!
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 33
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/11/2008 3:49:00 PM
you know i was reading all the of yalls comments and all they are about is how much men are aholes, you know what ladies first and formost you women can be much colder and much more crule in relationships im sry your man left you for no reason, but my ex did the same thing to me six months ago, she just called me and told me she didnt want me anymore and went on a date with her current boyfriend that night soooooooo men feel the burn to ladies
 Scuba Mom 1960
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 34
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/11/2008 5:53:31 PM
I know exactly what you are talking about, almost the same thing happen to me but we were engaged. He says he is really confused and stressed out to the max with everything in life, says he does not want to be with anyone right now. I asked him tonight if I should go on with my life and he said to do what I wanted, I feel that tells me that he doen't want to be with me. I hurts like hell. He lost his job and I was paying his way plus his bills bought him a motorcycle and boat then he tells me stuff. I am very hurt I quess you would say that I have STUPID engraved on my forhead.
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 37
Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 12/14/2008 4:48:32 PM
I had a friend from online report to me that.. she say a show-- "Nightline". a popular new show, did an episode on.."Online dating sites".

Here is what was reported by "Nightline":

A lot of the ladies (about half, may be less) are actually prositutes, online pretending to be regular women looking for dates. (I have had many women say "I'm not their type", probably because I'm all about protecting women from abuse),... so no prositute is going to want to call me.

About the men, was reported that lots of the men were sexual predators, pimps and other devious types. (Gang like activity as reported by other sources)

So when I took a gamble to report this before I knew about the-- "Nightlines" report, I was trying to educate women about what is out there and what women and good guys like me actually-- might face.

I posted a message in this string, and not one man even responded to my report of "gang like activity", NOT ONE. All the men just predented I didn't mention it.

I know most men --know about gangs and what they do, or not do...It's most women that don't always know.

So all the ladies out there that are genuine, and I mention that I get strange phone calls, harrassments, slander and other demeanor for trying to protect women from abuse...the women should believe me.

I just lost a beautiful friend that I really like from this site, that I had dinner with, drove her aunt home from the hospital and spent time at her house talking, etc. Also met her beautiful son. She admits that some of her friends are of the criminal types, but when I tried to tell her that on our first date, --those two thugs that were staring at her and put date rape drugs in her drink, when I was watching her as she went to the bathroom (So nobody followed her into it) she first didn't believe me!

But these same two guys followed her in there cars as she was going somewhere else to be able to smoke her cigarettes. After a month and a half, we got back together (as mentioned above) ..but more strange stuff happened to her (which she wouldn't tell me about) and stuff happenned to me too.

I got strange calls in the middle of the night and often I was worried about her again. Of course she got made at me, admitted stuff was happenning, but refused to tell me about it. She then just dumped me, saying I was paranoid, when in fact she admitted that all of this weird stuff was actually happenning. (She knew it wasn't from me, but didn't like me talking about it!)

I still care about her as a friend, and someday she may realize the value of my friendship, but it will probably happen way too late. She wanted to change her life but is playing denial and blamming me for trying to help her.

If there is any good women out there that want a good man, a man willing to stand up to injustice (not just make excuses and blame all women) and try to protect women, then you just found him. I'm still single and unattached.

No wonder why I get lots of responces but so few genuine ladies that are real. Women have been through a lot, and they don't believe a genuine guy when one comes along.

My web site covers lots of my national pioneering work to protect women from abuse!

God Bless.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 43
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Great Relationship Ends suddenly with no good reason
Posted: 5/7/2009 10:13:03 PM
We all say and do many things in the dark of the night and the heat of passion, when we're really lonely and really need each other. When the sun comes up and daylight comes flooding in through the windows, in the light of day, we don't always see things or each other the same way, or feel what we did the night before. Human emotions are so frail and fickle. It's much better to just be friends (with or without the benefit of sex).

Or...and you have to understand the male species, many of our feelings with regard to the opposite gender do indeed reside in our testicles. When our seed has been spilled, so has our passion, and we feel drained, expended, exhausted, and need time to recharge and reload.

Maybe it wasn't "hate"...just "need space for a couple of days". Maybe the "stuff" he was referring to was work stress, or maybe he is indeed bipolar and knows his blue-mood streak is coming and wants to spare you from the tirade of do indeed have emotions, and sometimes they are very dark.
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