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 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 97
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at workPage 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
This is a joke, right? I mean, there can't be anyone in the world that is this insensitive, immature, and just plain clueless.

I can see me talking to anyone at work: I am in the classroom, my cell rings, I say to my class, "Sorry, I know you are enthralled by what I am saying about commas, but I have a phone call."

Snort.
 Scoparius
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 98
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/12/2008 6:34:10 PM
Op,
There could be a variety of reasons for his rationality, it's quite hard to say without all of the details. One could assume but really would be somewhat of an uneducated guess.

While his points are valid as are the points of many responders to your forum post, I do believe that there is more to it.

With the advent of technology, it makes it very hard for one to NOT communicate with another. By law, everyone gets some form of break during their job, regardless of their responsibilities. If you sincerely expressed your concern to him and no suggestions were made on how you could be comforted..well..maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you. A simple 2 second text or two minute phone call to say hi really isn't a lot to ask for. For some, (you), I imagine it to be like that satisfying cup of coffee in the morning that sets the mood for the time to come. It is nice to know that your SO is thinking about you, even if it is a quick hello.

The only problem with that is if he did begin to do such a thing on a regular basis (which he is avoiding), then it becomes a routine pattern which then becomes expected. Whne that expected call doesn't happen, all hell breaks loose.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 103
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/12/2008 9:53:38 PM
I think we've all figured out why he doesn't call and doesn't answer calls
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 104
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/12/2008 10:57:28 PM
Lemme get this straight:
You're iffy about this guy because he does all the right things?
 TheLimey
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 106
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/12/2008 11:22:51 PM

I think we've all figured out why he doesn't call and doesn't answer calls

That's the winner right there!
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 107
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/12/2008 11:28:16 PM
I talk all the time while I'm driving, but for some reason he never does. What is the big deal?

Some people put safety first and pay attention to their driving. My sister was rearended twice by people who were preoccupied by their cell phone conversations.

He says he is very busy and when he is at work he is working.

There you have it. Why do you think it is called "work"? Also, some work places have rules against personal calls.

At least he calls you, so quit whining. It is unbecoming at age 40.
 outlawtomboy
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 109
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/13/2008 6:48:59 AM
i'm with mattw. when i fire up my teeny, elderly miata, i'm a long legged girl stick shifting in very close quarters. i'm used to a roomy suv and i'm sure the other drivers appreciate it greatly that i don't try to talk on the phone while driving the itty bitty car. there are times when an extra hand would come in real handy and i just can't spare one of the two i have. i've never dated anyone who didn't completely understand this

as far as phone talking at work....i'm not being paid to conduct my personal business while on company time. in my line of work, many eyes are upon me all day long, watching my every move, and the last thing i want to do is take their mind off their business by engaging in a person phone call in front of them. again...i've never dated anyone who didn't complete understand
 aleon
Joined: 5/9/2004
Msg: 111
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/13/2008 7:08:40 AM
As science learns more about cell phones, it is a very prudent thing not using one often or for long periods at a time. Ted Kennedy now has brain cancer that is most likely attributable to cell usage. Many others are suffering the same fate. Driving while yakking is certainly distracting, though I am not enthused by additional laws being written about that, as all states have laws on the books which address distracted driving.
You might consider not worrying about the small stuff and get some sleep. There are too many serious things in the world. This is not one of them.
 jus10kase
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 112
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/13/2008 7:52:07 AM
When you`re at work, you`re supposed to be working, not talking on the phone. Your gf/bf knows what time your done, and as long as no emergency happens, you can catch up then. Not on the phone while driving? It`s a shame more people aren`t as smart as him.
 misshoney31
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 115
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:30:02 AM
I don't talk on my cell or text while driving. Those who do so are putting their lives in danger and the lives of other drivers. Such negative behaviour is both irresponsbile and immature. I see so many people on the road with their ear glued to their phone, driving below the limit, weaving all over the road, not signaling, etc.

With regard to work, I make and take personal calls only at lunch, not while I'm working. It's called being responsible.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 118
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/13/2008 10:40:13 AM
first of all, thanks above for raising the medical issue of the effect of constant cell phone usage bombarding your ear--a portal to your "brain". someone from POF sent me a movie where four people focus their cell phones on a table to all point at a bag of pop corn. by turning all phones on at the same time, the pop corn popped! my friends here in the usa repeated the experiment. so, i think there are more reasons than one, to get either an earphone to keep the cell further away from your brain, or better still invest in a total remote if you can afford it and need it that much.

personally i think all cell phone driver usage in a car should be stopped. but, i guess you can argue that conversation with passengers should result similarly in potential danger. now that more and more people are conducting business from home and in the car, it has become a part of usa life. industry is probably the biggest lobbyist against cell phone laws.

OP, first of all change your profile to Not looking and friends. After you have processed this relationship fully, and decide it doesn't work for you, change it to whatever is appropriate then. It's just that simple! right now whatever man you would attract would not be at par with the standards of the man you describe. you posts are now etched in stone and not very marketable.

you are clearly one who talks about whatever comes into her head. i do the same, but i also hear people and i try to get the full point across. i think for many reasons you may want to take a course in communication and how to fully develop ideas to present in public. toastmasters is one such organization. not everyone knows what is going on in your head, let alone your personal life. stop initiating threads for a while and read others. there is a saying: take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. the more hoity toity version of this is called "active listening".

nowadays for struggling married couples, be there two working or one at home raising kids, there is little time for togetherness while the man thinks it's his job to provide and the woman wants to be the traditional nurturer. both are out of sync. no more 9-5 jobs here in the usa! there are very few people i know in their middle years, who have time to breathe, let alone talk. the woman who said she used her break to go to the bathroom, summed it up perfectly!

stress is very high in todays economy and with high divorce rates. people need soothing and not gabbing when in this mode. personally, i think people need to downgrade their lifestyles and possessions and adapt to the reality of today's world. when a person has parental responsibilities to another man or woman's child, let alone working extra to pay for two residences, versus sharing, it is commendable that the ex spouses are putting the children first. it is recommended that married couples with this sort of life, find once a week for a couple of hours to go on a "date" w/o the kids and the job interfering. if one of the spouses or both travel, then the date may be every two weeks but it's longer and may offer more "quality" time together. you have to want someone enough to agree to this and you must both agree to the same goals, so you have a reason to do "without", knowing that future rewards are in the works or maybe it's just necessary to not go homeless!

in your instance you "appear" needy and maybe given the limitations of this relationship, you are rightfully so needy. the question remains whether you would find another man to meet these needs and would he be as good a man as the one who works hard and cares for his daughter? if you look at it that way and accept his situation, then the question is what are YOU doing with respect to work and social life? and, i am not meaning that social life means cheating on one's partner!

my ex used to travel internationally. we agreed to a lesser travel schedule before we got married. when he traveled we emailed. i made friends and had a good job at first. when i was dx'ed with lymes, i fost/adotped three teens, my lifelong dream since age five. at first, i tried working part time but it made no financial sense as my kind of work has a lot of cost attached and i could barely cover that cost with the limited hours. then with the kids and their significant issues, i had to hire people to help me. in the course of all that, i pushed myself out and met different people to "talk" to: other fost/adopt parents, other people with lyme disease, neighbors (not very friendly in the silicon valley), church groups and the people i met while i was trying to work. i also made friends with other parents and teachers and also went (back) to al anon as my kids started self medicating for their post trauma. they were way better "talking" than my ex anyways!

you need to explain "your" work. do you work? can he call you at "your" work. is it fair to wake him up if he can, seeing as how he's working two jobs? if you don' t work, what do you do with your time as it seems you don't have anyone to talk to and are using the forum for that purpose.

also, if you read up on male and female brain physiology, women have about twice the language wiring that men have, probably due to our original programming. society is evolving and the upper brain's cognitive functions are being challenged to the point of stress! but our wiring is pretty much similar in the basic parts. men are linear from the hunting part of the old days. they look ahead on the road, whereas women are looking to the sides and yakking with their additional neurons. their brains are geared to watch all those cave babies scampering about and barking communications to keep them safe. not that many men can talk socially off the cuff and drive. they have problems multi-tasking. women no longer have others to bark at! we were geared to be complementary and many men and women today are discussing this and finding different configurations to again be complementary. many hi tech jobs are benefiting from the male and female brains teaming up to address problems and communicate with outsiders.

as to work, my pet peeve is social yaking on the phone when it is not on one's personal time. i almost fired someone for it, but she didn't bill me for it. it was not that she had anything important to say and if she talked while she worked, the work did not procede as efficiently. yet, on the other hand, i had a client CEO whose wife used to call and he'd interrupt staff meetings to "yak" with her, while we were sitting around waiting with work piled up on our desks. he went home early! the wife contributed a lot of free and quality time to the hospital, so i swallowed my annoyance. however, over time, the CEO was let go. he was charming, but the bottom line did not look good! he yakked more than he worked.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 120
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/13/2008 11:54:55 AM

So the real problem is that you don't get enough time with him, whether it's in person or just talking by telephone. Not much to be done about that, given the circumstances... IMO you'll have to just decide whether or not to accept it.

Exactly, which seems more rational than making the guy call from work or on the road. It makes you wonder whether it would fix the problem even if he did just call more often.
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 129
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/14/2008 6:20:02 AM
Having read only your original post it sounds to me like you ought not to get worried over something so minor. We all have our own ways of doing things. I'm not a big fan of talking and driving as it's dangerous and takes away attention from the road. If I'm at work or college I'm busy as hell and usually won't find time to call anyone. Ie I can relate to your guy from the little bit you said...

Me personally,I'm not a major phone person...I'm terrible for the text messages though! But I prefer to spend quality time with the person rather than talk via the phone...I find a phone takes my attention away from what I need to be doing....
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 130
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/14/2008 8:15:58 AM
OP - kuddos for those guy refusing to talk on his cell phone while driving... Seems to me, he's using his head.

As far as your complaint about him not calling you while at work - remember this, he is getting paid to WORK, not to talk to you!!! Perhaps his company has a strict policy about personal phone calls while at work.

Time to grow up here. If you don't like it, then find another guy that will cater to your whims and wants.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 135
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/14/2008 11:47:49 AM
kittenhere, i understand your fears, but there is also the "person who cries wolf" situation. furthermore, if family comes first, the frantic and lonely caller, may not necessarily be thinking of the person who needs to tend to his/her own workplace--- which may offer personal rewards, but also helps to contribute to the economic survival of the family. i think if a couple are on the same page, they find a happy medium. each one "does" a bit for what the other one needs. if this cannot be accomplished, then the couple is not going to last or will continue to live in "resentment". resentment festers and it can become very ugly.

raised in nyc and often off to "unsafe" places (in other people's minds, not mine necessarily), i was raised to "call". when i lived alone and even now, i would leave a note as to where i was going or my neighors knew. last nite my neighbor and her husband travelled to their cabin in the snow. raised similarly, i got home to a message that they arrived safely. if i hadn't heard from them, i would have followed up! this is our agreement as well.

in my past relationship, i felt better knowing he got home safe. yet, the same concern was not always extended to me. now, i am happy if a brief ring or call on both parties ends, is a mutual experience. if i met a man who had no concerns about my safety again, i probably would pick that up very quickly and move on. but, that doesn't mean i want to call him incessantly or vice versa.

if you truly fear the worst, based upon your experiences, then get text messaging and make it clear it is ONLY used for emergencies. agree to both put the phone on vibrate. however, cry wolf just once, and it will be a broken agreement.

others, i am told, are raised with the "no news is good news" scenario. again, we are all different and these kind of things need to be DISCUSSED and w/o the drama/neediness factor. but very seriously.
 callmesexy39
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 137
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/14/2008 1:21:27 PM
my advice, buy a blue tooth headset, or even a headset entirely, and stop posting dumb threads when you don't want others opinions shared. Not only is this getting old, but you jumping on everyone case just cause they decided to post. Which is ridiculous. Please moderator destroy this stupid thread before she has a stroke over some of the opinions people are sharing...you might save her life!
 3ClubMonkey
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 138
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/14/2008 1:25:00 PM
I couldn't imagine driving w/o being on the phone.

I don't call from work unless it's to schedule something.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 140
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/14/2008 2:22:56 PM
You know a lot of us non-phone people would pick up more often if there weren't so many people who just have to call and talk about nothing, rambling on & on & on till your ears bleed. If I thought one of these people actual needed to call I would answer but they hardly ever do and I have voice mail. Also there is the urgent message mode, that is suppose to be for urgent messages, not to make my phone beep like it's gone crazy because you felt you just had to talk because you're so bored with yourself or your life. It's these annoying, oh how I hate them!!, frequent callers who never have an emergency and it's their own fault for crying wolf so often that if they do have one, nobody answers their calls. Get a grip, just because they invented cell phones does not mean you have to be on one 24/7, trust me, a lot more people like me are moaning when they see your name pop up, some are just too nice, doormats, and always answer, doesn't mean they aren't gritting their teeth when they find you've called to tell them that Walmart has your favorite granny panties on sale.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 143
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/14/2008 3:17:18 PM
OMG!! The lack of education and the complete denial of cause & effect, not to mention plain old horrible parenting....is appalling! I am throughly disgusted! Please stop posting this dribble.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 150
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:51:52 PM
I don't talk on my cell when I am driving and when I am at work ,I am working and during lunch break 30 minutes I am eating and exchangies some pleasantries to other co workers so if I get a call from someone/lover it has to be important. So I understand the Guy's point of view...
 afishcalledjack
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 154
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:26:03 PM
My advice: Go see the movie "Seven Pounds," starring Will Smith.

afishcalledjack
 VaFishnetstockings4u
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 167
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:12:47 PM
~OP Now this takes the cake here. As an Employer I have rules set for my
staff and employee's to follow. Personal call's are dis allowed unless it's a
dire Emergency like a child or family member being ill or something really
pressing. This man that your speaking of he has a job, Now I ask you would
you want to see him loose his job that's his employment that supports him
huh ???? No I think not . As to talking on a cell phone while driving well in
more and more states it's being frowned on and there can be costly fines to
pay if you break the law in the states that do not permit talking on cell while
driving. See what you fail to understand by being thoughtless and selfish is the
driver needs to stay focused on task at hand meaning driving and his job keep
that in mind it's not about you here it's him and I side with the man and the others
in put on her try being kind and understanding see if that get's you any where.
Another thing try be considerate and wait till the man call's you don't call or chase
him or you'll loose ....Stay focused on what your doing and let that poor man alone
so he can drive and do his job play time is normally done after work. Maybe
set up your schedules so that they do not conflict each other good luck ! Gee
stop the whining be an adult mature about things...give the guy a break.

-Regards
Brenny
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 170
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:31:20 PM
answer: A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING.

- Even if not illegal in your area: DO NOT drive and talk.
- Workplace is what it is: a workplace, you`re not paid to do personal or social stuff here, but to work; beside..he will see or talk to you ...after work

the only thing very odd here is you.
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 174
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Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 5/30/2009 4:29:30 PM
I once dated this guy (long distance/different time zone) who always liked to call me on his way to work, and continued on till he reached his workplace. He even IM me from his mobile while he drove from time to time!

I told him I wouldn't like to talk to him if he was driving (tho he was using hand free) as it's plain dangerous.

Seriously I don't understand why OP would even complain when her bf is doing everything a responible and respectable person is supposed to be doing. No offense but I'd only expect this to be coming from a teenager but someone your age ?!! (hitting 41 this year) Hmmm do I smell overly clingy here ... in case OP is still reading this thread, just wonder if you work and have any hobbies at all?
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 177
Guy Refuses to talk on cell while driving & also at work
Posted: 5/31/2009 2:22:50 AM
Talking on the cell phone while driving is suppose to be banned I thought.
I agree with him. Cellphones are a distraction. Alot of idiots are even having accidents while texting and driving. Now Uncle Sam has to enact a law and hold our hands like we're 3 yr olds. People have no common sense sometimes.

While driving it is important to pay attention to what's in front of you.

As for work, he's working! Why should he get in trouble trying to talk on the phone? Bosses don't like that.

Seems to me he's got a real clingon on his hands. Just find something to do when he's not around.
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