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Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 38
HerpesPage 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
WOW the man is upfront and honest and you people chastise him for it ,basicly telling him to go away find an island to live his life alone on, how many of you posters take anti depressents should we look at you as mental and should be locked up for it,as far as herpes goes, if you compare it to aids and the like, it kinda ranks up there with the common cold!!!! the effects are more psycological than any thing, and no wonder with people like the ones on this site.
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 39
Posted: 1/15/2009 4:22:20 PM
Sweety, please read up on HERPES the condom is only making you feel safe. It still can be transmitted, its NOT from Cum its from the actual rash which can be on his sack and touches you and SURPRISE you got it.

Be careful. I have it right on my post. If I could find a FREE herpes sight I would be there. They take advantage of us since they know that only 1 in 4 have it.

Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 41
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:46:02 PM
I call herpes "pleasure bumps"
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 43
Posted: 1/16/2009 11:49:22 AM
thank you widowededmom for bringing light to some who needed it, and beerbag seek some mental help
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 45
Posted: 1/16/2009 12:20:28 PM
WOW, dude....I commend you for your bravery in putting that on your profile and I also have condolences that you weren't more acutely aware before the act. As I'm sure we all have encountered someone in the past where things didn't seem just right....we should follow the gut instinct. I'm happy I have always been disease free.
Hope you find your SO.
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 46
Posted: 1/17/2009 10:19:50 AM
Disclousure, disclousure, disclousure! You MUST be honest about your sexual history before a sex act or sexual realtionship. Condoms break, and protect against "some" infections, NOT all! Granted steps can be taken to protect one lover from anothers infection, but you have to discuss these things before you drop your pants. Period. Why do people not do/know this???
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 50
view profile
Posted: 1/28/2009 5:17:25 PM

Herpes is such a social stigma. It is just a virus. No cure yet. Herpes is not that bad, really. If you do have herpes, then I suggest you just come out and say so in your profile. I did. It is better that you say it sooner than later.

Agreed, especially when it comes to genital herpes. Usually, genital herpes is caused by the HSV-2 strain; but sometimes HSV-1 is transmitted from mouth to genital. Either way, it is an incurable, persistent illness that any conscientious dater should warn potential partners about.
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 51
Posted: 1/29/2009 3:14:54 PM
Herpes has destroyed my quality of life that much, leaving me with brain injury, chronic pain and fatigue etc etc .
Haha!! Quicksilver217 is a liar and a forums troll!!
Anyone who believes this pile of hooey must have contracted the brain injury!! Maybe Quicksliver got the brian injury falling down the stairs while scratching!
Herpes is a reaccuring rash at most! Suck it up crybabies!!

I believe I contracted both HSV1 & 2 in the one go - I then developed encephalitis or similar. My doctors refused to test because they did not want to be part of a court case. I was too ill to find less malignant doctors - so what should have been a test case for NSW/Australian law was lost. My doctors said that people should be free to spread this disease without liablility - needless to say, they at least still have their quality of life and unfortunately their careers.

Well Chatty Cat - perhaps you may one day have the delightful experience of an 18 month migrain, loss of balance, loss of communicative skills, non-stop blisters, the distress of wondering if you are ever going to be able to hold a job again, be left with financial costs of thousands of dollars, be left unable to drive or care for your children. I would only hope a deliberate and knowing infector and the arrogant doctors who encourage men to spread this - deliberately could also have the same experience. Chatty Cat - I am sure you could suck up a similar experience, but to deny this thing is a mild inconvenience is hardly being a crybaby.

As for being a "Forum Troll" - About the only thing that relieves my migraine is the thankfully blue screen on these pages. Reading short sentences such as most people write and the opportunity to think of others - offers me more relief than pain killers. I've been such an academic all my life, the experience of my time on here - something I would never have tolerated when well , has taught me soo much. For this part of my herpes experience - I am grateful.

The biggest problem with herpes - is the arrogance of male doctors refusing standard medication unless they see your genitals and satisfy themselves that you have a current outbreak. A hideous vicious and unnecessary degradation for people who are barely able to have any quality of life at all without the script. Infect a doctor today !
Given the unbelievable arrogance male doctors exhibit towards women and their unbelievable hatred of intelligent or career women - it would be great if more women could return the favour of encripplement to them, see how these degenerate pompous creeps would like to have a career washing dishes and have their intelligence, humanity and dignity similarly belittled. These jerks can't even bear the idea that they don't have a monopoly on basic intelligence - some karma would be really good for them.

My male doctor said I should be joyful about the experience and practice forgiveness - of course if he was involved in a car crash - which is about the same devastation I am experiencing - I am sure he would be really joyful and forgiving and not press charges against someone permanently, - permanently destroying his life. This pompous malignant creep said a "real Christian" would not want to press charges. His refusal of Valtrex in the midst of my suspected encephalitis deepened and prolonged my injury - then the monster refused my application of a travel refund - because of the script refusal - 8 months after infection I could still barely walk. Herpes - enough to needlessly cause me the loss of a trip of a lifetime, but not so bad, who expects to still be chronically disabled f----ing months later?

Causing permanent and deliberate injury to others should be - and unless of course committed by men against women - is and should be a criminal offence. Infectors should be held financially liable.
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 53
Posted: 1/29/2009 8:24:18 PM
Very good post there brown eyed woman....
it's a fact that everyone contracts some "form" of herpes by the age of 2....

I don't think many people realize there's hundreds of different forms of herpes..not only that..but there's a lot of people that have genital herpes, carrying it, without showing symptoms, and don't know it...

The only way to find out is by testing the fluid that rests at the bottom of the spinal cord to see if you have herpes...

It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal...give him credit for at least being honest about it..jeez people..lighten up!!
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 54
Posted: 1/29/2009 9:28:50 PM
^^^^ Yes, I'm having enough dramas to be thinking many of my plans need to be brought forward..
I am very concerned for the next generation - at least I had the opportunity to marry and have children. I am convinced this thing is going to become a great deal more serious than the medical profession currently give it credit for. I hope if I get well enough to become more of an advocate for a change in GP attitudes. I don't mean for my posts to sound bitter, I really am committed to try to push for change on this issue - hopefully some shock tactics might knock some GPs off their smug condescending high horses. Lay people you can excuse, but educated professionals - no..
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 56
Posted: 1/30/2009 4:00:39 AM
I would hate to get Herpes. I think I'm going to become celibate.
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 57
Posted: 1/30/2009 6:10:43 AM

The biggest problem with herpes - is the arrogance of male doctors refusing standard medication unless they see your genitals and satisfy themselves that you have a current outbreak. A hideous vicious and unnecessary degradation for people who are barely able to have any quality of life at all without the script. Infect a doctor today ! Given the unbelievable arrogance male doctors exhibit towards women and their unbelievable hatred of intelligent or career women - it would be great if more women could return the favour of encripplement to them, see how these degenerate pompous creeps would like to have a career washing dishes and have their intelligence, humanity and dignity similarly belittled.

Quick - this paragraph from your diatribe basically invalidates anything of value you might otherwise have said. You think doctors are the bad guys for needing to diagnose a condition before prescribing medication for it?? Are you insane? Dont you know WHY drugs require scripts in the first place? Are you such a special case that doctors should let you self-diagnose and break the law by giving you prescription drugs just because you asked for them? Surely you have LOTS of other issues if going to the doctor is 'degrading' to you.

And to say that male doctors hate intelligent women.. where did you get that from? OK, maybe you had a doctor who had a bad attitude, they do exist. Here's a hint - go to ANOTHER one! Better yet, find a FEMALE doctor! I bet she would also insist on 'degrading' you by diagnosing your condition before handing over the drugs too!

With statements like these, I cant believe anyone here is listening or taking seriously what you are saying.
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 59
view profile
Posted: 1/30/2009 6:51:10 AM
>>Drug and alchohol addictions, schitzophrenia, bipolar disorder, are diseases that are also life long conditions and in most cases these would certainly present far greater challenges to live with than herpes.<<

As I see it, Id rather "have" alcoholism than herpes. With herpes, I'm gonna lose out on a lot pf potential partners. With alcoholism, the very worst thing that can happen is I get blown by a tranny.

If alcoholism is an illness, why cant I call in drunk to work?
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 61
Posted: 2/1/2009 5:21:17 PM
Given that Herpes is an incurable disease and yes blood tests can certainly verify the condition to some degree - why should a doctor want to view your crutch repeatedly after the initial diagnosis? I agree most male doctors are indeed unmentionable in their ethics, morals and social standards. Unfortunately going to another one is generally a repeat of their same haughty ignorant attitudes. Even worse, females seem to lose their sense of normal decency on becoming doctors as well, although thankfully to a significantly lesser degree. I guess I have just met so many appalling doctors that have done so many dreadful things through their attitude - by now I would barely trust them to inspect a toenail.

Ever had a doctor suggest to you that now you are married, you should not expect to be as healthy as you once were? Ever had a doctor conceal your partner infecting you with an std? Ever had a doctor refuse to refer you to a dietician when you mention your current diet is leaving you in flat in bed most weekends - and then tell you that breastfeeding your baby should leave you too ill to care for baby? Ever had a doctor be horrified that you are an employer and urge you to fold up your business because you went and saw them about some chest pain? Ever had a doctor prescribe the strongest script he could come up with - after you have explained a mild antihistimine knocks you out for over 17 hours? Ever had a doctor lie and deceive you? Ever had a doctor withhold positive test results for this disease knowing you were actively trying to conceive a child? Ever had a doctor refuse you asthma medication and leave you nearly half dead for 2 weeks until he was satisfied you would follow an asthma protocol? Ever had a doctor ruin the good news of a pregnancy because he was so adamant about wanting to take a blood sample on the spot? Ever had a doctor tell you that perhaps you should just accept that this is how you are now, and to stop asking for treatment to regain your life and career...

No - I don't feel men are to blame for all the problems of the world, however I do persistently push for a change in attitude. Some day, men will be able to value women more than they currently do, this will only happen though through women bucking the current status quo. We certainly need more women to be boycotting and reporting pompous arrogant doctors for starters. Once a male doctor contracted Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - only then, was this disease taken seriously before then it was just "malingering" and female "neurosis" - I just really wish males got as seriously affected as what females do.

The whole attitude about deliberately leaving someone with : persisent headache, fatigue, predisposition to AIDS,MS, Alzheimers, Arthritis etc, reduced ability to cope with "stress" , along with a crop of blisters - well this attitude needs a drastic rethink that this is acceptable behaviour in our society. I hardly see how the expectation of doing this to a formerly healthy happy person can be part of a loving relationship.

If more people nominated themselves as being aware of their HSV status - women's chances of finding a similarly infected male, would be enhanced from the current 2% likelihood of finding him.
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 63
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:09:51 PM
I've been blessed to meet some incredible people through the Herpes sites. I hope someday to return my blessings to support others although I am hardly the one at present to do that, in the meantime I can be genuine and authentic in my belief that an education campaign for change is needed. My committment is in making a small firm stand to do what I can to stem the pandemic. I note however that precious few males seem to register on these sites, I wish more did, especially normally adjusted decent males and not ones with rampant promiscuity problems. Currently the sites are bursting at the seams with female members with at least an 8:1 ratio of female to male.

I believe many males would prefer to sero-convert a female than do the responsible thing and register with a H site, males on the whole appear more expectant that a female should be left permanently compromised in her health for his temporary gratification. I do believe females are less disposed to passing this on deliberately simply because they are less assertive or agressive about satisfying their needs at the expense of others . The local infector in Armidale is committed to infecting as many women as he can- he believes that he will then have a pool of partners who cannot go elsewhere...yes a member of this site...

Very few males value female needs as being of equal value to their own (if they do, they are married): This disparity of regard and worth for others is simply a widespread social standard of our day, which a significant volume of POF stories on here can attest to.

The link between Herpes and prostate cancer is news, my quick glance referred to PSA which suggested the H elevated these readings. I don't have the resources to look into this, could you enlarge on this topic?
 HSV kitty
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 65
Posted: 2/7/2009 10:57:26 PM
Hello Everyone

I may be new to this site but not to Herpes. I contracted genital Herpes through ORAL sex with my ex. SO, the cold sores you are all OK with, are the Herpes I have on my genitalia that you are somehow NOT OK with. Cold sore is a cute name for Herpes sores on the mouth and yes the winter cold can trigger them.

I had an initial infection that was misdiagnosed as an ingrown hair by both a physician and a dermatologist. After that, I was asymptomatic (no visible sores) and did not have an outbreak for years. Mine are triggered by extreme stress and a nuts /chocolate combo so I avoid both together.

The fact that I had not been diagnosed for a very long time meant that, had I been single and sexually active, I could have passed this on unknowingly. Had I been REALLY active, and not having safe sex, then exponentially. There is something called asymptomatic shedding which means the virus can shed cells even though there are no visible infection sites. It is less likely to pass on the infection but yes it still does. That nice clean penis shaft with no lesions might be shafting you. Yes, pun intended. In females the sex organs are also not as easy to inspect.

I was initially depressed because of the media frenzy of the late 70’s and early 80’s. Now, it makes me cringe that there are so many here spouting the same nonsense, who are disgusted by Herpes (even the woman purporting to have it lacks knowledge) yet are making it obvious they know little about it or found worse case scenarios to cut and paste here to prove their ignorance.

In rare complications of the Herpes Virus in adults such as Meningitis, Encephalitis, Alzheimers and other neurological diseases, it is mainly the HSV1 virus (or common cold sore), which lies closer to the basal ganglia, that will infect the brain.

I can honestly tell you that having any illness that is chronic is a LOT worse then Herpes ( I would GLADLY trade my mild but chronic illness for Herpes outbreaks a few times a year!) and that the ignorance of the masses and social stigma are what hurt the most.. Next time you get a cold sore, perhaps reconsider what you have said here and look a little closer in the mirror.

That was too long I know, but I do hope someone benefits from it, or at least blushes a little for their ignorant comments to the author. In summary, Herpes, by any other name (cold sore) is still Herpes. My apologies to Shakespeare!
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 66
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:27:36 PM
(even the woman purporting to have it lacks knowledge) yet are making it obvious they know little about it or found worse case scenarios to cut and paste here to prove their ignorance.

Yes lots of people get angry, really angry about situations they have imagined upon for cut and paste, I'm no Shakespeare either - but if you make such unfounded, unbelievable and offensive claims - prove it.

No two people have the same physiology - however we do have social behaviours that expect a disease will always manifest itself as just occasional blisters for everyone affected. Occasional blisters are barely a blip on the horizon, but my experience is hardly that. I might add, that many sufferers also report heightened arousal states when they are at their most infectious and heightened emotional responses - do we really want an entire fatigue comprised population with these predispositions as well?
That is the social and economic future our globe faces.

Just because the canary snuffs it in the coal mine before the coal miner - doesn't necessarily mean all is well for those blessed with more hardy constitutions..
We need a change of social attitudes - drastically and soon.
 judge advocate
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 67
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:06:03 AM
see under health and fitness. Coping with Herpes
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 68
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:31:25 AM
Quick - your post #85 on 2/1 makes it sound like you've had every malady known to mankind and either A) are a glutton for punishment by going to the same unsatisfactory doctor or B) have the worst luck in that EVERY doctor you try is bad. If A is true FIND a different one, if B is true I dont believe the stats support you finding every bad Dr, so whats the common factor in those 'bad' doctors? YOU!

Now, if I met a woman who had "persisent headache, fatigue, ... reduced ability to cope with stress", who had all the medical issues you had, who hated every doctor and had the attitude that you've shown in this thread, for sure I'd be walking... RUNNING away. But, if I met a wonderful woman with a good disposition who said she had herpes and that we had to be careful and a few times a yr for a few wks we couldnt be intimate because of an outbreak, well then I'd just say OK and we'll work around it.

In addition to your medical issues I think you would benefit from some other counseling. You have a lot of hatred and anger and mistrust and I believe that might be the cause of you not finding happiness in your life. JMHO
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 69
Posted: 2/16/2009 8:36:00 AM

Nonetheless the H dating sites are a fledgling venture, and it's generally slim pickings for both sexes, and the membership does not reflect the 20% population infected statistics. Chances are far greater of meeting a fellow herpster on POF.

You are correct, it does not reflect the 1 out of 4 that have herpes, just as any dating will not reflect the millions of single people. There is a stigma attached to having herpes and the fact that most people do not know that they have herpes is the reason some turn to the H dating sites. I have had awesome relationships with women that I met off an H site.

I belong to a herpes dating site and think it is great. It is more of a community and is pretty cool. We have get-togethers on both a local and national level. Not unlike this place. The best part is that I got to meet some really cool people across the country. In Chicago, we will have 100-150 show up to an event. People are fooling themselves if they think they can spot someone with herpes.

The problem with herpes is that 80% of the people do not know that they are infected. The misconception about it is that you get these horrible outbreaks and that is simply not true. Some people do, especially their first one. Others, like myself, rarely get them. I didn't even know I had herpes until the girl I was dating got it. Of course I thought she cheated but I found out that I had it and was probably the one that gave it to her. What I saw as a tiny dot similar to an ingrown hair was actually a herpes outbreak and it was gone the next day....that was it.

Yes, you can still get herpes if you wear a condom. I know a lot of people that got it this way just as I know people that got it the first time they had sex. If you had sex with more than 10 people then most likely you had sex with someone that has herpes.

Here is the kicker, most std tests don't even bother to test for herpes. You have to specifically request it. The Western Blot is the most accurate. You have to find a doc that is experienced working with herpes or risk being misinformed. The doctor that diagnosed me told me to just avoid sex when having an outbreak. This is also not true as herpes can still be passed.

I lived with a girl for 2 years that did not have herpes and she still does not. We never used condoms. So, getting it is not guaranteed.

Anyway, I guess the point that I am trying to make is that anybody can get herpes. If I could undo 5 things in my live, getting herpes would not even make the top 10. There are far worse things in life. You would be surprised at how many people you know and are friends with that also have the gift. I have herpes and live a normal life. I have friends and loved ones just like anybody else. Just because I have herpes does not make me a bad person.
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 70
Posted: 2/16/2009 8:52:30 AM
Bless you, OP, for "coming out" and being HONEST!

So many people with STD's are blatantly selfish and dishonest, and think it's okay to KNOWINGLY infect other people because it is "all about them."

I wish you Godspeed!

Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 71
Posted: 2/16/2009 9:05:22 AM

I'm sorry.........this is going to sound really mean, but I'm sure men don't worry about it as much as women. Like another poster said..........when giving birth it makes a huge difference. A women who has herpes is not to give birth vaginally..........blindness and even death can come from it.

This is another misconception. If she is having an outbreak then yes but rare. With millions of women giving birth and have herpes but are unaware of it you would here more about these cases. Herpes tests are not given to pregnant women...
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 72
Posted: 2/16/2009 9:06:15 AM
^^^sorry, diseases will still be spread. No such thing as safe sex, only SAFER sex. People just need to start understanding the risks they are putting themselves at. Most people are blase when it comes to this.
Joined: 11/18/2008
Msg: 73
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:56:41 PM
So if HSV 2 can be transferred to your partner when you're not having and outbreak;
Can HSV 1 likewise be transferred when not having an outbreak?
Seems that if one is true that the other must be also.

So much for kissing anymore.
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 74
Posted: 2/16/2009 2:06:52 PM

So if HSV 2 can be transferred to your partner when you're not having and outbreak;
Can HSV 1 likewise be transferred when not having an outbreak?
Seems that if one is true that the other must be also.

So much for kissing anymore.

Good question...HSV2 can spread through viral shedding so it sounds logical.
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