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Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 111
HerpesPage 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

...For me, the biggest fear would be the worry of getting Herpes and inadvertantly transferring it to your eye(s).... going blind from sex is not something I'd relish....

I hate to add to the nonsense that has been said by some here, but this is just TOO GOOD to pass up! So here goes!

Maybe that's how that myth that guys can go blind from masterbating was perpetuated! Some guy was shedding the virus while "snatching one out" and inadvertantly passed it on to his eyes when he went to wipe the sweat away!!!

Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 112
Posted: 3/18/2009 9:25:19 PM

I didn't know Jesus had herpes.

Incuubus...geez, now my keyboard's all sticky and it's all your fault....

No offense to OP, I don't mean to minimize your issue. The stigma does suck to deal with, but it's not likely to change the way people feel about's one of those things you can't really sympathyze with unless it happens to you. I admire your honesty in making sure potential partners are informed prior to risking infection, but I'm skeptical about announcing it blindly.....people you're not planning to sleep with really have no need for that information. Just My Opinion.

P.S. No offense about the Jesus thing....boy if you only had a nickel for every time that reference is made......
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 113
Posted: 3/19/2009 1:01:01 PM
Posted By: horses44 on 3/17/2009 746 PM
Subject: Herpes
Message: ^^^^^

Deb - You and I have so much in common, we are the same age, both tall, both have herpes....both have killer bodies in bathing suits

Ok, I am way fudging on the last sentence!!!

Thanks for your honesty, actually I came "clean" on a post a while ago...the stigma is tough - I have dated since I found out (about 2 years ago, lllooonnnggg story) but haven't had the talk yet. I have decided that if a relationship may move from the living room to the bedroom will be when "the discussion" will take place. All clothing will still be on both of us....I have read ad nauseum how to have that delicate little conversation with a potential boyfriend - and I think with it less is best "I like you, and I hope you like me, but before we start removing clothing, you need to know I have herpes, breakout are infrequent, I take medication, but it is what it is, the fact is that it is a virus, even if I don't show any "symptoms, does not mean it is not contagious - so if this is not something you want in your life I can understand, but if you are still feeling a vibe I strongly suggest you read as much as possible..." I have a feeling I have been sabotaging myself with men of late, I go out with men where I am quite sure it will not be intimate - so I won't have to have "the talk" . Sheesh another issue I should address

Hi Horses - Nice to meet you! I think you should wear a bikini if you want; if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to look! Everyone has their own system for telling someone about their herpes....and as long as we tell, I don't think it matters how. Ha! I have issues too....more we have in common.

Someone said something about keeping this private (which a lot of people view as being deceptive and secretive), this too varies per person. I have a knee replacement and while it is not the first thing I say to people, I do not go out of my way to hide it either. I feel that herpes should not be any more or less than "something I have".

Hope you are having a great week!
 Honest Dude
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 114
Posted: 3/19/2009 1:26:49 PM
You can get it even with a condom on... Genital Herpes are called Genital Herpes for a reason... not penis Herpes.

Maybe they should make condoms for your balls... that's the future.

I think Genital Herpes is a lot more common than everyone thinks.
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 115
Posted: 3/19/2009 5:33:24 PM
It isn't a big deal. It's the most common human virus there is, and virtually everyone harbors it in their body by the time they reach adolescence - yes, even you.

The only distinction between HSV1 and HSV2 is where it "hides" when dormant (which is most of the time) or where it shows itself when it comes out of hiding. It's virtually impossible to distinguish the two under an electron microscope.

There is no "good herpes" or "bad herpes." It's an annoyance, no more and no less, but it certainly should not be a stigma, and it is absolutely not an impediment to sex (when the virus is inactive) between intelligent adults.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 117
Posted: 3/25/2009 12:20:24 PM

Don't do that! Don't ignore this persons past just because he/she says they're a different person, or dismisses your inquiry - I believe it's my right to know if this person has ever used injected drugs, or been employed in the sex trade, had sex with a bisexual male, was a swinger, or had a few one night stands that didn't use a condom. Everyone has a history, nobody's history is perfect, and it's not for judgement that I believe this information is relevant it's to calculate risk.

I'm totally onboard with that. In the past, I've been poo-poohed or laughed at by men who think I'm being paranoid when I ask for testing or bring it up. Frankly, I'd rather know what I'm getting into and one may as well find out as much as they can. It's like they are afraid to discuss it! That to me is a huge red flag because I can talk about ALL aspects of sex and if a man that wants to be with me can't? See ya! As the poster above mentionned, there are certain sexual acts which are high risk and I want to know if someone I'm preparing to become intimate with has participated in any high risk behaviour!

The doctors here say that they cannot test for herpes until you have an outbreak, so I'm not sure how most people are supposed to even know if they have HSV 2? It almost sounds as if most doctors are not even sure?
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 118
view profile
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:27:37 PM
All sexual acts have risk and most of them could be quite high if those performing them are not open, honest, and up front with not only their partners but themselves as well.

Sex is a wonderful natural act that should be taken as such and prepared for by both involved. There are many of us that are disease free, and get tested often, to reassure not only ourselves, but those we might partner with.

Being open with each other about what you do or do not have, what you could or could not give or receive is nothing more than being caring and courteous to each other. If more would insist on being tested not only alone, but together before having sex, the chances will be lessened for the both of you, and that time will help you to think with your head and not your genitals.

I am never offended if asked about diseases, testing, pregnancy, etc. and I hope that I do not ever offend another by asking as well. Those that do know me that well, know also that I have asked them to be tested, and produced my tests results when appropriate.

I am also very encouraged to see how many women that do have herpes, told me first, talked to me, and allowed me to make the decision to continue on or not. I have even gone to some of their doctors with them to discuss all the pro's and con's, and talk about what drugs they might be taking, why, and how it might affect me or work for them.

If more would be this responsible, and take care of their own body as well as whom they might be sleeping with, the spread of most STD's would be lessened significantly.

Just my opinion........
 nacho cheese
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 119
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:51:07 PM
This whole thread makes me itchy.... Wash your sh it and be safe! A little soap goes a long way!
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 120
view profile
Posted: 3/25/2009 11:52:05 PM
not replying to your message... if i am sorry but i dont know what im doing on this site lol... but im just wondering how do you die from herpes? i didnt realize it was like aids... i know its a virus and i guess you do die from all viruses but how from herpes i never understood this .... i should just dye my hair blonde
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 121
view profile
Posted: 3/26/2009 6:14:46 AM
IS AWESOME................................................................................................................................
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 122
Posted: 3/26/2009 3:43:08 PM
The only one who could die from herpes is a baby born to a mom with a current infection. This is not common but awful when it happens. If a woman has a current infection, they will do a C-section. If she doesn't know she is infected (very common indeed), it is a real risk. Some women with a history of herpes take medication in the third trimester for that reason. If she doesn't have herpes (to her knowledge, anyway) but her partner has cold sores, no oral sex in the last trimester, please.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 124
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:32:37 PM
^^^As scary as herps would be for me, I agree completely with this statement.
I've been tested within the last 2 months and am negative as of now but that doesnt mean havent been exposed to it. I know I have been because someone in my life was honest with me before hand and let me know and precautions were taken. And I agree with the statement that its better being with someone who knows they have it and is on therapy and can take precaution than someone who a) doesnt know or b) doesnt tell.

Being with someone who has it doesnt mean you'll get it. The chances are also further reduced if this person is on meds and they are using protection.

Does this mean I want it? No, and I still stand by saying that it is dangerous and would never want to deal with an STD or the stigma behind it but would I date someone who has it? Possibly yes if that person means something to me.
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 126
Posted: 3/28/2009 10:41:19 AM
Very well stated, HSV2guy40. Because HSV and HPV are so common, it's ridiculous that there should be any stigma at all. Yesterday I was talking with some colleagues about Molluscum Contagiosum. It operates much the same as wart virus. Until now, I always considered it to be an STI. But many children get it from close body contact with other kids. We are now calling it a skin infection in our literature and I have asked my colleagues to change their messaging when doing health promotion work in the public. Herpes is a drag, but it is only dangerous in very specific situations. So let's allow for some compassion here. No one wants to live without touch. Intimacy is part of the risk of living.
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 127
Posted: 3/28/2009 2:07:41 PM
The reason so many people have herpes (hsv1 and/or hsv2) is because not enough people are getting tested for it......even when they think they are! Doctors commonly do not order HSV 1 and HSV 2 tests if you do not specifically request them by name. Simply stating to your doc that you want and STD test is not sufficient. Further more, herpes can be cured......let me say that again, HERPES CAN BE CURED. There is a company called ResolveAll that makes a herpes cure. It is a mineral treatment that actually forces the HSV1 and 2 out of the body's cells so the immune system can destroy the virus. It also works for many other things including HPV. If you have questions about this company I would be more than happy to offer any help I can.
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 130
view profile
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:54:24 PM
^^^^^^^ I agree....this should be good.....

I am anxious to see what mumbo jumbo (opps - FACTS) he has to share with the POF audience
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 131
Posted: 3/31/2009 2:33:26 AM
m_church, you obviously cant effin' comprehend well.

And I agree with the statement that its better being with someone who knows they have it and is on therapy and can take precaution than someone who a) doesnt know or b) doesnt tell

Your logic is flawed. Sorry.
Firstly, if the person who "a) doesnt know or b) doesnt tell" doesn't have it, then you cannot get it from them...
Second, if the person who "a) doesnt know or b) doesnt tell" does have it, then precautions "might" help. Remember, it can be transmitted by skin contact so a condom is not necessarily going to protect you from getting it anyway.

If you would have read my post and understood it correctly you would have seen that what I mean is that its better to be with someone that you know HAS it and had told you because then you can take the precautions stated by the person I responded to in that post where they are talking about viral suppressive therapy and condoms to help REDUCE the risk, this is better than sleeping with a person doesnt know that they HAVE herpes or that just doesnt tell you they have it and are just banging around.

I never stated that precautions eliminate a risk. What I did imply is that they help reduce the risk and of course reducing a risk is preferable to not reducing it by being with someone who doesnt even know what they are infected with, so dont try to school me when you obviously dont know what you are talking about. I did afterall work for 4 years as a health and wellness trainer for local area high schools and was in charge of the sex/STD portion of their health classes.

Before you "quote" someone, dont take sh*t out of context. Thanks for telling me about my "flawed" logic, but I dont need the advice of someone who only undestands what they want to and not what is stated. Maybe someone should talk to you about your learning disabilties as you did with my logic.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 132
Posted: 3/31/2009 10:01:39 AM
m_church, thanks for clarifying but no, you def misunderstood me.

You had to read a few of the posts before that. I didnt feel like quoting an entire book, I hate it when people do that.

Truce. :)
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 133
Posted: 3/31/2009 3:59:09 PM
Yeah Bill......

I can appreciate your honesty. I mentioned it in my post too. I am tired of dealing with peoples fears....and being rejected.'s right out there as a potential dealbreaker. At least then...I am not wasting time, money, and energy dating someone who then has to be disappointed, and will be angry with me...for being lied to by someone over twenty five years ago. She wasn't honest with me.....whatever. It's my karma......I have to be upfront with others. Take care.
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 134
Posted: 4/12/2009 4:53:46 PM

Yes it is. Clowns like him as well as the woman on here that have it, are contaminating the pond with their tainted love.
Pretty soon, we'll all be doing it in a fully enclosed latex body bag. Hmmm then again, that could be interesting.

Okay, the sweeping statements are not very nice or fair. Contaminating the pond? I have stated I have Herpes on my profile and stated that I was only looking for someone to catch a movie with now and then. And because an ex-boyfriend gave this to me....I should what? Wall myself up? Be segregated to a Herpes Island? Be ashamed that someone I was in a relationship with had no idea he could give me herpes from his cold sore?

Sorry, not ready to join a convent yet. And if YOU have sex at all, you could become "one of us" very easily, if you haven't already (and I hope you haven't).....It would give you a whole new perspective being on the other end of the gun.
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 138
Posted: 4/13/2009 4:17:10 PM
Bless all of those honest men and women who are upfront about having STD's. I have nothing but the highest regard for them. They are honest and decent -- not like the slimeasses who spread disease.........
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 141
Posted: 4/25/2009 2:25:58 PM
I am amazed by how many people on here actually have some form of herpes. And I am not surprised that they choose to stay in hiding just because of some of the comments I have read in here. For those who have contacted me - I belong to a site ( that has a lot of wonderful, educated, and friendly people there. No rejection or insults, just kindness. They have learned the hard way about herpes and other STD's. For all of those who are sooooo very judgmental, I suggest you do some heavy research before you speak and to actually go get tested for STD's before you say anything at all. I went in for a physical and just asked to be tested for STD's on a whim since I am single and have been dating. No one was more shocked than me to find out I had Herpes. My girls said that only I could have that kind of luck just starting out in the dating world, lol. Yes, they know too.....
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 142
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:50:14 AM
Deb, This is very interesting and quite alarming. Are there symptoms of herpes? I had understood that canker sores are cost by a variant of the herpes virus. That doesn't sound too severe. I had canker sores as a child. Is that a problem?

I presume there is a distinct difference between the canker sore and STD variants of the herpes virus. How different are they really?
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 143
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:59:00 AM

I presume there is a distinct difference between the canker sore and STD variants of the herpes virus. How different are they really?

Although cold sores and canker sores are often confused for each other, they are not the same. Cold sores, also called a fever blister or herpes simplex type 1, are groups of painful, fluid-filled blisters. Unlike canker sores, cold sores are caused by a virus and are extremely contagious. Also, cold sores typically appear outside the mouth – usually, under the nose, around the lips, or under the chin while canker sores occur inside the mouth.

The exact cause of most canker sores is unknown. Stress or tissue injury is thought to be the cause of simple canker sores. Certain foods – including citrus or acidic fruits and vegetables (such as lemons, oranges, pineapples, apples, figs, tomatoes, and strawberries) – can trigger a canker sore or make the problem worse. Sometimes a sharp tooth surface or dental appliance, such as braces or ill-fitting dentures, might also trigger canker sores.
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 144
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:54:14 AM
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 145
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:34:41 AM
I often got cold sores as a kid (before I was ever sexually active), which means, I assume, that I had Herpes 1 up until a certain point...or maybe I STILL have it, as my understanding is that you never get rid of it, it's just that some people's immune systems suppress it to the point where it is practically non-existent.

To the people on here making the "eewww gross" comments: If you are sexually active and have had multiple partners and you HAVEN'T caught anything yet, well, good for you, I guess. However, the more realistic scenario is that you have at the very least been EXPOSED to an STI - through sheer luck or a strong immunity or whatever, though, maybe your body was able to fend off infection. Or maybe, just maybe, you HAVE contracted a virus and don't even know it. HSV (herpes) and HPV (of which there are, like, a hundred strains, and causes warts) is very prevalent in the population. And these are viruses that don't necessarily physically manifest themselves for weeks, months, sometimes even years. In other words, you could catch a strain (or two or three) of HPV, and not develop a wart for a long time - during which time you are still sleeping around and passing on the infection. Hell, you might NEVER develop a wart, but you still have the virus present in your system.
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