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 AUTHOR
 NiceGuyWithH
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 101
HerpesPage 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
My friend, cold sores are herpes as you point out yourself. In addition to being put at risk for oral herpes hsv1 (cold sores). Hsv1 can be transferred to the genitals through oral sex. Then you would have hsv1 in the genital area. It is GENERALLY mild in nature with infrequent OutBreaks but never-the-less HERPES.
So you might want to factor Risk vs Reward.. so to speak.
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I met a woman on Whoshere (great iPhone app btw), who revealed to me that she gets cold sores ("oral herpes").

She wants to meet me in person, & she's kinda "hot to trot".

Thing is, though cold sores are just cold sores, I don't get them, and don't want to...

Some might say that statistically, I've probably already been exposed... Still, I'd rather not take the risk if I know the risk is there...

Herpes is (are?) indeed a big deal.
 SmellOfPoop
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 102
Herpes
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:13:57 PM
Cold sores are not a big deal, generally but yes, they're annoying and can be painful.

As for reproductive issues, the baby is "safer" if the mother already has the HSV1/2 virus, because the antibodies are passed. HSV infection during the 2nd or 3rd trimester or during the first 4-6 weeks of life can be a death sentence for your baby.

So, the ultimate irony is, since there is no cure in sight, it's better for a woman to have anti-bodies and pass them to the baby.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1155973/Killed-kiss-Anguish-mother-lost-newborn-baby-passing-cold-sore-infection.html
 HSV2GUY40
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 103
Herpes
Posted: 3/15/2009 5:29:43 PM
If your buddy is experiencing pain from opening closed wounds on his genitals he should try to use some vaseline on the sores. This will help keep the scabs pliable, and it will also help prevent cross infecting himself. He'll need to wear cotton underwear, and keep the vaseline jar dedicated to just that purpose.

The aches and pains are typical of post viral syndrome. I've been to the doctor a few times to see how I can get back to 100% after a nasty outbreak. The only thing they tell me is take lots of Advil to help the aches and pains. If he tries an antiviral and uses it only when he has a bad outbreak he's should have a better time recovering until his body has developed enough antibodies to lessen the frequency and severity of outbreaks.

Getting it in your eye would be a serious problem. I do know you can cross infect yourself in your genital area, but I don't know if you can give it to yourself in the eye. I may be wrong but, I believe that this is very serious when you have the virus first introduced to your body and your eye is the site of the primary infection.
 cubic_zirconia
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 104
Herpes
Posted: 3/16/2009 12:18:00 AM
I know someone who had to have their herpes sores surgically closed because they were so big (and yes, on medication). They grew about 3" wide. Oozing fluids all the time and as you can imagine, extremely painful. Little sores dont sound that bad but keep in mind, it strikes everyone differently and while the person you're with may not get it bad, you could.
 1134ftw
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 105
Herpes
Posted: 3/16/2009 2:21:24 PM
I used to go to a bar and the bartender loved me- good looking blonde, school teacher, she just slung drinks on the weekend. One night I stayed till they closed, she said she wanted me to walk her out to her car- but then she locked the door and came on to me. She was so awesome, she told me she had herpes. I was drunk, thought about it, then I had to deny her- I felt bad, but she was cool with it, we are still friends to this day. Maybe I am missing an awesome relationship with her, but I like being disease free.
 widowedmom
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 106
Herpes
Posted: 3/16/2009 2:33:48 PM
Deb60, I think you look hot in your photo. If I looked that good in a swim suit I would be photographed like that too.

What is it with people that behind the anonimity of the online experience they can be so rude and hateful. I hope every woman that looks at that "boy's" profile reads his online posts and sees his character as he truly is. He does not need a jerk tatoo on the middle of his forehead. All he has to do is open his mouth.

Half the posted responses on this thread are fear provoking, and the reason for the social stigma. The young lady who was treated for HPV and cervical cancer sure loves throwing stones at the herpes patients. Pretty much the pot calling the kettle black.

Anyone with half a brain will view you as a strong, intelligent woman who is a class act.
 ArmsOfSteel
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 107
Herpes
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:18:20 PM
People say herpes isn't much to worry about, but here's a little info you might want to know. If you have herpes, there's another virus out there that likes to attach itself to the herpes virus. You can have sex with someone infected with herpes and not get it or you can contract the herpes virus and not know that you have it. Actually, almost everyone contracts a form of herpes, varicella zoster, commonly known as chicken pox. HIV is a very bad virus. You're not going to die of HIV, but you will die from what HIV can cause to your immune system. Your white blood cell count decreases immensly and those are the cells that help fight off other infections. You can have sex with someone that has HIV and not get it, but if you couple that with herpes and your chances of getting HIV go up astronomically. Trust me, I've seen what HIV and herpes looks like and it's not pretty. I don't have either one, but 1 out of 3 women have a form of herpes. Best measure is to use a condom if you have to have sex, by the way, the health dept. does not test for herpes. Have a nice day.
 Deb60137
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 108
Herpes
Posted: 3/17/2009 3:48:30 PM

Posted By: widowedmom on 3/16/2009 448 PM
Subject: Herpes
Message: Deb60, I think you look hot in your photo. If I looked that good in a swim suit I would be photographed like that too.

What is it with people that behind the anonimity of the online experience they can be so rude and hateful. I hope every woman that looks at that "boy's" profile reads his online posts and sees his character as he truly is. He does not need a jerk tatoo on the middle of his forehead. All he has to do is open his mouth.

Half the posted responses on this thread are fear provoking, and the reason for the social stigma. The young lady who was treated for HPV and cervical cancer sure loves throwing stones at the herpes patients. Pretty much the pot calling the kettle black.

Anyone with half a brain will view you as a strong, intelligent woman who is a class act.


Thank you so much. That was very kind of you to say. I do apologize to everyone for letting my temper getting the best of me. I have also read the other posts after yours and want them to know that I understand someone not wanting to take the risk of getting this. It is the attitude that bothers me in a lot of people - stemming from the lack of knowledge and the incorrect information that is out there. I know mine is not the worst version of herpes and that there are other risks also. But as with any infection/disease there are always risks of contracting other things if you are not careful. Of course you can catch a lot of things even when you are perfectly healthy too. I would caution everyone to be very careful with their partners, but as in my case, that is not always bullet-proof either.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 109
view profile
History
Herpes
Posted: 3/17/2009 5:45:46 PM
^^^^^

Deb - You and I have so much in common, we are the same age, both tall, both have herpes....both have killer bodies in bathing suits



Ok, I am way fudging on the last sentence!!!

Thanks for your honesty, actually I came "clean" on a post a while ago...the stigma is tough - I have dated since I found out (about 2 years ago, lllooonnnggg story) but haven't had the talk yet. I have decided that if a relationship may move from the living room to the bedroom will be when "the discussion" will take place. All clothing will still be on both of us....I have read ad nauseum how to have that delicate little conversation with a potential boyfriend - and I think with it less is best "I like you, and I hope you like me, but before we start removing clothing, you need to know I have herpes, breakout are infrequent, I take medication, but it is what it is, the fact is that it is a virus, even if I don't show any "symptoms, does not mean it is not contagious - so if this is not something you want in your life I can understand, but if you are still feeling a vibe I strongly suggest you read as much as possible..." I have a feeling I have been sabotaging myself with men of late, I go out with men where I am quite sure it will not be intimate - so I won't have to have "the talk" . Sheesh another issue I should address
 Acrid
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 110
Herpes
Posted: 3/17/2009 11:26:52 PM

Well, you heard WRONG! Razor burn is often mistaken for Herpes....

well, i'll be sure to reprimand my friend for that. but by the way you type, he's smarter than you, hahah. no, i'll look up that for myself if i care that much.


No the silly thing is if you have herpes of any kind on your genitals, you have genital herpes.... Did you type your posting while drunk....?

well...i appreciate your constructive critisism by saying "i think you're mistaking 'genital herpes' for 'type II' herpes, which is typically more predominant on the genitalia, i.e. site of preference"...oh wait...you called me drunk and assumed i'd make my own clarification (which i did). ironically, you're boistrous attitude makes YOU seem like the drunkard. type II herpes is typically considered "genital herpes"...but i always get it confused with type I...so i just use the convenions i'm used to.
 tayl0rd
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 111
Herpes
Posted: 3/18/2009 5:45:36 PM

...For me, the biggest fear would be the worry of getting Herpes and inadvertantly transferring it to your eye(s).... going blind from sex is not something I'd relish....


I hate to add to the nonsense that has been said by some here, but this is just TOO GOOD to pass up! So here goes!

Maybe that's how that myth that guys can go blind from masterbating was perpetuated! Some guy was shedding the virus while "snatching one out" and inadvertantly passed it on to his eyes when he went to wipe the sweat away!!!

 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 112
Herpes
Posted: 3/18/2009 9:25:19 PM

I didn't know Jesus had herpes.


Incuubus...geez, now my keyboard's all sticky and it's all your fault....

No offense to OP, I don't mean to minimize your issue. The stigma does suck to deal with, but it's not likely to change the way people feel about it....it's one of those things you can't really sympathyze with unless it happens to you. I admire your honesty in making sure potential partners are informed prior to risking infection, but I'm skeptical about announcing it blindly.....people you're not planning to sleep with really have no need for that information. Just My Opinion.

P.S. No offense about the Jesus thing....boy if you only had a nickel for every time that reference is made......
 Deb60137
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 113
Herpes
Posted: 3/19/2009 1:01:01 PM
Posted By: horses44 on 3/17/2009 746 PM
Subject: Herpes
Message: ^^^^^


Deb - You and I have so much in common, we are the same age, both tall, both have herpes....both have killer bodies in bathing suits

Ok, I am way fudging on the last sentence!!!

Thanks for your honesty, actually I came "clean" on a post a while ago...the stigma is tough - I have dated since I found out (about 2 years ago, lllooonnnggg story) but haven't had the talk yet. I have decided that if a relationship may move from the living room to the bedroom will be when "the discussion" will take place. All clothing will still be on both of us....I have read ad nauseum how to have that delicate little conversation with a potential boyfriend - and I think with it less is best "I like you, and I hope you like me, but before we start removing clothing, you need to know I have herpes, breakout are infrequent, I take medication, but it is what it is, the fact is that it is a virus, even if I don't show any "symptoms, does not mean it is not contagious - so if this is not something you want in your life I can understand, but if you are still feeling a vibe I strongly suggest you read as much as possible..." I have a feeling I have been sabotaging myself with men of late, I go out with men where I am quite sure it will not be intimate - so I won't have to have "the talk" . Sheesh another issue I should address


Hi Horses - Nice to meet you! I think you should wear a bikini if you want; if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to look! Everyone has their own system for telling someone about their herpes....and as long as we tell, I don't think it matters how. Ha! I have issues too....more we have in common.

Someone said something about keeping this private (which a lot of people view as being deceptive and secretive), this too varies per person. I have a knee replacement and while it is not the first thing I say to people, I do not go out of my way to hide it either. I feel that herpes should not be any more or less than "something I have".

Hope you are having a great week!
 Honest Dude
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 114
Herpes
Posted: 3/19/2009 1:26:49 PM
You can get it even with a condom on... Genital Herpes are called Genital Herpes for a reason... not penis Herpes.

Maybe they should make condoms for your balls... that's the future.

I think Genital Herpes is a lot more common than everyone thinks.
 RedRK
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 115
Herpes
Posted: 3/19/2009 5:33:24 PM
It isn't a big deal. It's the most common human virus there is, and virtually everyone harbors it in their body by the time they reach adolescence - yes, even you.

The only distinction between HSV1 and HSV2 is where it "hides" when dormant (which is most of the time) or where it shows itself when it comes out of hiding. It's virtually impossible to distinguish the two under an electron microscope.

There is no "good herpes" or "bad herpes." It's an annoyance, no more and no less, but it certainly should not be a stigma, and it is absolutely not an impediment to sex (when the virus is inactive) between intelligent adults.
 HSV2GUY40
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 116
Herpes
Posted: 3/25/2009 10:07:53 AM

Actually, almost everyone contracts a form of herpes, varicella zoster, commonly known as chicken pox. HIV is a very bad virus. You're not going to die of HIV, but you will die from what HIV can cause to your immune system. Your white blood cell count decreases immensly and those are the cells that help fight off other infections. You can have sex with someone that has HIV and not get it, but if you couple that with herpes and your chances of getting HIV go up astronomically.


It's 2009, I don't know what sheltered little world you've been living in, but we are all aware of HIV infections, we are all aware of chicken pox, chicken flu.

You have raised a good point though. In reality HIV is hard to get, there are certain sexual activities that make an ideal situation for HIV transmission (I think you all can figure out what I'm talking about), but it's transmission is not as easy as people think. However, lessions on your skin caused by HSV or HPV create an easy point of entry for other infections such as HIV - similar to lessions caused when those puffs play bum darts.

I'm not in a lifestyle that puts me at great risk for HIV, but the fact I have HSV puts me in a greater risk category. It's a sobering thought. As much as I advocate against the stigmas associated with STD's, in the case of HIV, I have to say it's a major complication that will certainly end my life sooner than I would hope, and I would choose to avoid it if possible. I'm sorry to all those with HIV, and would like to say I do realize that I'm flattering myself - but it's for the sake of this discussion.

With that being said, no STD testing proceedure is perfect, not for HIV or HSV or whatever, this is why I believe my potential partner's past is my buisness - even though she's got papers to say she's clean; because the papers aren't worth the ink they're printed with. STD screening is primarily used to make informed medical decisions as to cause and treatments for symptoms - it's not designed for use as an assurance you won't catch something from that person. A wreckless lifestyle in my partners past may come back to haunt me, or if past behavior is an indicator of future behavior, it could foreshadow some future wrecklessness that could also affect more than just the relationship. There's a thread on here discussing if one's sexual history is anybody's buisness - I haven't read through it, but I can imagine it's full of posts by people who, on a conscious level are not proud of thier self destructive accomplishments, and would prefer the past stay buried in the past - and so the posts would include all sorts of psychological control and abuse precursors as a reason to avoid disclosure - there may actually be someone who does bring up the STD issue, but it's thrown away with the presentation of STD screening. Don't do that! Don't ignore this persons past just because he/she says they're a different person, or dismisses your inquiry - I believe it's my right to know if this person has ever used injected drugs, or been employed in the sex trade, had sex with a bisexual male, was a swinger, or had a few one night stands that didn't use a condom. Everyone has a history, nobody's history is perfect, and it's not for judgement that I believe this information is relevant it's to calculate risk.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 117
Herpes
Posted: 3/25/2009 12:20:24 PM

Don't do that! Don't ignore this persons past just because he/she says they're a different person, or dismisses your inquiry - I believe it's my right to know if this person has ever used injected drugs, or been employed in the sex trade, had sex with a bisexual male, was a swinger, or had a few one night stands that didn't use a condom. Everyone has a history, nobody's history is perfect, and it's not for judgement that I believe this information is relevant it's to calculate risk.


I'm totally onboard with that. In the past, I've been poo-poohed or laughed at by men who think I'm being paranoid when I ask for testing or bring it up. Frankly, I'd rather know what I'm getting into and one may as well find out as much as they can. It's like they are afraid to discuss it! That to me is a huge red flag because I can talk about ALL aspects of sex and if a man that wants to be with me can't? See ya! As the poster above mentionned, there are certain sexual acts which are high risk and I want to know if someone I'm preparing to become intimate with has participated in any high risk behaviour!

The doctors here say that they cannot test for herpes until you have an outbreak, so I'm not sure how most people are supposed to even know if they have HSV 2? It almost sounds as if most doctors are not even sure?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 118
view profile
History
Herpes
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:27:37 PM
All sexual acts have risk and most of them could be quite high if those performing them are not open, honest, and up front with not only their partners but themselves as well.

Sex is a wonderful natural act that should be taken as such and prepared for by both involved. There are many of us that are disease free, and get tested often, to reassure not only ourselves, but those we might partner with.

Being open with each other about what you do or do not have, what you could or could not give or receive is nothing more than being caring and courteous to each other. If more would insist on being tested not only alone, but together before having sex, the chances will be lessened for the both of you, and that time will help you to think with your head and not your genitals.

I am never offended if asked about diseases, testing, pregnancy, etc. and I hope that I do not ever offend another by asking as well. Those that do know me that well, know also that I have asked them to be tested, and produced my tests results when appropriate.

I am also very encouraged to see how many women that do have herpes, told me first, talked to me, and allowed me to make the decision to continue on or not. I have even gone to some of their doctors with them to discuss all the pro's and con's, and talk about what drugs they might be taking, why, and how it might affect me or work for them.

If more would be this responsible, and take care of their own body as well as whom they might be sleeping with, the spread of most STD's would be lessened significantly.

Just my opinion........
 nacho cheese
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 119
Herpes
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:51:07 PM
This whole thread makes me itchy.... Wash your sh it and be safe! A little soap goes a long way!
 TJU2009
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 120
view profile
History
Herpes
Posted: 3/25/2009 11:52:05 PM
not replying to your message... if i am sorry but i dont know what im doing on this site lol... but im just wondering how do you die from herpes? i didnt realize it was like aids... i know its a virus and i guess you do die from all viruses but how from herpes i never understood this .... i should just dye my hair blonde
 Bored_Lurker
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 121
view profile
History
Herpes
Posted: 3/26/2009 6:14:46 AM
IS AWESOME................................................................................................................................
 TOwoman1
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 122
Herpes
Posted: 3/26/2009 3:43:08 PM
The only one who could die from herpes is a baby born to a mom with a current infection. This is not common but awful when it happens. If a woman has a current infection, they will do a C-section. If she doesn't know she is infected (very common indeed), it is a real risk. Some women with a history of herpes take medication in the third trimester for that reason. If she doesn't have herpes (to her knowledge, anyway) but her partner has cold sores, no oral sex in the last trimester, please.
 Herpes Hottie
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 123
Herpes
Posted: 3/26/2009 8:46:39 PM
I agree 100% with what you said OP!

I've read some of the replies on here to your thead. I can't believe how people can live in the dark in this day and age. All I can say is educate yourself people. If you are on a dating site, then at least educate yourself to what is out there to face you in this dating world.

It is a known fact that 1 out of every 4 females have herpes type 2, and 1 out of every 5 men have it. But there are some in the medical field that suggest that those numbers are much higher ... as high as 45 -65% of the adult population. They make that claim, because there are so many unreported cases out there. The stats of 4 and 5 that are shown above, are reported cases only! Also, they say that oly 10% of the people who have herpes with how signs and symptoms of having it!

In herpes type 1, the stats are 80 - 90% of the population has it. Many get it as children.

There are people walking around who have herpes, who are not aware they carry it. Just because you don't see a sore on you, doesn't mean you don't have it! So please, lets be real on the subject - the chances are all of you have already been exposed to herpes in some way, from someone in your life. Unless you were born in bubble, and continued to live in it ..... then you have! Sorry to break the news to you, but it's true!

There are many people on here who also claim to be disease and std free. But when you talk to them, they never went for a std test in their life!
So all I have to say on that is, if you want to make such claims, you better have annual test results to back up those claims.

There are a whole lot of people out there who want to move forward into a sexual relationship, but when you tell them they need to go with you, so you can both be have a std screening .... they run for the hills. Now you tell me, who's hiding something? In my books, if someone is unwilling to go for testings for a relationship, then that person is either hiding some thing, or they just don't want to know if they have something. Because once you know, you in my books have a moral responsibility to share that with someone you intend on dating .... before the act. So in a way, playing egnorant for them is the best thing.

In this day and age, you can't take people at their word of being clean, healthy, and std free. A relationship should be based on two people being open and honest with each other. But that doesn't always happen in real life. A good way to start a foundation is by going for std testing as a couple. That way ou have a clean slate as a foundation to build the relationship on, for there would be no hidden surprises ... you'd know what you each have.

But getting back to what our OP said about living with herpes. He can say that, because he lives with it. I can say the same thing about me, and my hsv. It hasn't changed who we are as people, and it's not a problem for us in life. So we can say .... herpes is nothing. We can also say, that there are worse thing to have in life ... like cancer, aids etc .

The one thing besides having herpes that the OP and I have in common is .... we are not ashamed to say we have herpes. But a whole lot of people are out there. Just like there are people who will claim to be std free to your face, who aren't. I suggest everything think long and hard about that.

Even if I didn't have hsv 1, I would still date and get to know someone with herpes. Would you like to know why? It's because they can protect me from getting it. Because they are on suppressive therapy. I wouldn't get that kind of protection from someone who carries the virus, but doesn't know .... or who doesn't admit to having it!!!

It hard to find honest people now a days. I for one, appreciate people when they can share about themselves with me. Admitting things like having herpes take guts, and not everyone on here appreciates that level of honesty. There are people who will judge you on it, and make rude and crude remarks, because you do. But there is one important thing here that I want to mention is ...... that if someone can admit to having a std right up front, then chances are you can bet if you think out of the box, that they'd be up front and honest about everything else that matters.
I could be wrong ...... but I don't think so.
 cubic_zirconia
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 124
Herpes
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:32:37 PM
^^^As scary as herps would be for me, I agree completely with this statement.
I've been tested within the last 2 months and am negative as of now but that doesnt mean havent been exposed to it. I know I have been because someone in my life was honest with me before hand and let me know and precautions were taken. And I agree with the statement that its better being with someone who knows they have it and is on therapy and can take precaution than someone who a) doesnt know or b) doesnt tell.

Being with someone who has it doesnt mean you'll get it. The chances are also further reduced if this person is on meds and they are using protection.

Does this mean I want it? No, and I still stand by saying that it is dangerous and would never want to deal with an STD or the stigma behind it but would I date someone who has it? Possibly yes if that person means something to me.
 HSV2GUY40
Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 125
Herpes
Posted: 3/27/2009 11:36:28 PM
Before I got herpes, STD's seemed so surreal, like such distant problems that would never come close to my life. I wore condoms to prevent pregnancy, and never considered them necessary as protection from other things. I had heard of HIV, and the tragic toll it's taking in Africa - but that's a different society on the other side of the earth, and although the spread would be prevalent it wouldn't affect me and so I didn't worry about it. I did know about dirty needles, and gay sex - but those worlds too were so far away that I never considered them as anything to worry about.

My little bubble of denial was burst a few years ago, and after having some time observing the situation from the perspective of looking from the inside out, I can say that the statement made in an earlier post about most people who claim to be disease free have never been tested for STD's is true. Most people choose not to face the hard realities of life in this age. If you sit four people in a room and tell them that the statistics are 1 in 4, all four will deny even the possibility they could be the one in that group. The same thing will be true with eight and even twelve people, nobody will come forward to admit there's a possibility they may have it.

It's out of fear of being ostracized by the rest of the group that people live in a bubble of denial. Social acceptance is a normal basic human need, and a fear of being the pariah or social outcast allows people to justify denial as the best moral option that maintains acceptance within the group.

People might look at mine and others "outed" presence on POF and suggest that this is the reason why STD's are running rampant and we few are the cause of the numbers getting bigger and bigger every day and suggest it's because the few who are honest and moral are spreading this so rampantly - this is the true meaning of flawed logic.

The people living in a bubble of denial are the reason this is spreading at a near epidemic rate. This is why the social stigma needs to disappear - so that people would openly admit they have it, and take precautions to protect thier partners, or to seek out others who have it as partners.
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