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 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 1
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
As I have become older, I realized that for me a healthy relationship is something that builds you and lifts you up. What is the point of putting time into some one who tears you down?

So when it comes to dating, I usually only give one chance to bring me down. I don't mean like if she has to cancel on me...I feel bad so I don't call her but I mean if we are out and at the end of the date whether it be a 1st date 3rd or more date, if she leaves me with a negative feeling I am done. Other words if I felt better before I went out with her then after...its over.

I just believe that after the fist time...it will be come a pattern and I will find that she is stealing my happiness more and more as time goes on.

Thank You
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 2
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/14/2008 1:01:23 AM
Ok, here is an example of getting a negative feeling:

My date calls me up and says she would like to spend some time with me. There is a concert in Columbus that she is supposed to sing in and this would be a perfect time for us to spend some time together. So I agree , hey it's a 2.5 hour drive and we can really talk and VIBE or so I thought. Sooo after I say YES, I am a person of my word, she springs on me that she has to take her 2 kids and her older brother!!! Hmmm, there goes our VIBE TIME.

Oh oh oh it gets sooo much better! Fortunately I have family there because while I am with my cousin she calls to find out what I am doing and is hoping I can come and watch her kids!
Ohh yea...no! This is only our 2nd and LAST DATE.

To end the story I had to wait until 11:30PM before we could get on road, so I had a long tired drive and the weather was crappy! Oh wait...do you think she gave me GAS MONEY...? I am filling up the TANK and they acted like I was taking a piss on the side of the Truck!

So how do you think I felt when I pulled into our town at 2:30AM! NEGATIVE!!!!
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 3
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/14/2008 7:48:23 AM

I am trying to understand the way you think ...
you worry about gas money
complain about $ 45 for having a cell phone connected
and some other silly expenses
no one is forcing you to connect cell phones or drive
people around and all this is silly compared to .....


The difference is that none of my online dates asked. And if I wanted to meet them the best and safest way at the time was to bring them to where I was doing business. I knew I had to make some exceptions because they were worlds away. Not to mention that I asked them, it's one thing for me to give but another thing for you to ask. Ask for nothing and I will give you the world...it's not about the money but about principle!
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 4
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/14/2008 8:05:04 AM


Date 1: I flew my online date and her best friend from Bogota, Colombia to meet with me in Panama City, Panama all expenses paid. We spent 3 great days in Panama.

Date 2: I flew my online date an her best friend from Costa Rica to Panama City, Panama for 5 days all expenses paid.

Date 3: I flew my online date from Medellin, Colombia to Panama City, Panama for a week all expenses paid.

Date 4: I flew my online date from Medellin, Colombia to Panama City, Panama for 5 days all expenses paid.

You really did all that?? Or is that a joke??


Hey in my profile I say I am 100% real and I am...no jokes. They say you won't know unless you go! Soooo...I what I feel I need to do to meet some I feel is special.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 5
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/14/2008 8:39:25 AM

The mention of Medellin, Colombia would make think you are a drug dealer, even if you are not. Your profile is likely scaring away quality women and attracting users.


WTF!!!....I guess if I was to put down Vatican City...that would make me clergy?
Medellin, Colombia is a beautiful city with a lot of history.

Plus....I don't remember saying that I met her online...probably because I didn't! So she knows nothing of Medellin. Most people don't know much about the city anyway...I don't think I am scaring away quality women...I am scaring away IGNORANT women and that is a good thing!
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 6
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/14/2008 8:46:31 AM

So in doing all these things for these women you dont even know that well...How has it been working out for you?


Actually they are all pretty good friends. I keep in touch with them daily well all are appreciative of the others friendship. When you do a date like that, you seem to build something special right away even if it is only a friendship but they are the strongest friendships of any online that I have ever had.

I think it is something special for them when they have NEVER left their country and someone brings them and has no expectations but to have a good time. I think they feel that this person is a keeper even if you are only friends.

Wow...and the welcome you get when you go visit their friends and family...NOTHING like what you get when you meet someone online from here. If you can afford it...I recommend doing it just once. But be careful...there are those out there that will steal your money!
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 7
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/16/2008 9:19:39 AM

An *ignorant* woman would probably have never heard of Medellin and Pablo Escobar. From your posts, it appears like you are doing an excellent job of attracting ignorant women with lots of drama.


Just because I love Latin women above most...is the reason that I travel to Medellin. Ah wait...in my profile it never said that I took a trip to Colombia...It said I flew my date to Panama and that she was from Colombia....hmmm get it right! Chances are most of the women on here have probably done more drugs than I have SOLD(zero)! I guess...I'm black, young, drive a nice car and like to travel = Drug Dealer?

If I was white would you have said anything about drugs? Just something to think on!
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 8
Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/16/2008 10:23:36 PM
OP I think you might be writing women off too fast. Many first dates and subsequent dates are spent getting to know one another and sometimes people do not know what makes the other have negative feelings or say/do things that makes you question them. I think you need to have more open conversations to talk about things that might effect your relationship. It is possible for 2 people to be on the same date and be polarized on how the date went, just because there was not enough open conversation about each of their feelings about the date and each other.

An example for me would be men who wear ball caps. Personally unless you are participating in a sport, I hate to see a man wearing there other places such as on a date or going to a movie, but that is just me. Now instead of writing a man off, I would tell him in a nice way that I dont like ball caps and give him the opportunity to decide we are not a match or wear them for the appropriate occassion, as I belive everyone deserves a chance. If I do or say something that leaves him wondering, I would prefer he talk to me about it, as we are meeting strangers and just getting to know each other.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 9
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/17/2008 6:22:18 AM

OP I think you might be writing women off too fast. Many first dates and subsequent dates are spent getting to know one another and sometimes people do not know what makes the other have negative feelings or say/do things that makes you question them. I think you need to have more open conversations to talk about things that might effect your relationship. It is possible for 2 people to be on the same date and be polarized on how the date went, just because there was not enough open conversation about each of their feelings about the date and each other.


It's not like...oh she made me feel bad so I done with her. It's traits that I believe will be a pattern. You don't tell a guy that he should be proud to take you out. You don't tell a guy that if any guy wants to take you out that he should help you because he knows you have kids. It's one thing if you are in a relationship but if you start talking this stuff right after your second date! It would be like telling a women...oh well I took you out and spent money on you and blah blah blah and this is the 3rd date so you should be putting out...it's the same concept! If I told a women something like that...she would RUN...


If you prefer to meet someone from Latin America, you should say so clearly in your profile. Otherwise, women could get the wrong impression and waste your time and theirs.


This is not the case...I would love to meet someone close to home that I can truly VIBE with...maybe I do have a preference but I exclude no one...
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 10
Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:25:53 AM
OP I'm not trying to justify the actions of women or men. I have always tried to understand why people say what they do, and the reason behind it. I have found that some people lack good communication skills and say things that could be misunderstood. A woman that wants it know that her kids are a priority might come across sounding like they want help with their kids, when really all they wanted was the man to understand that some of their time together would involve the kids.

I think its the same with men and as you brought up their expectation or anticipation about sex being intoroduced into the relationship. The 3 date rule makes me laugh, but some men use it. All in all, I think if people spent more time openly talking and asking questions to confirm their thoughts, I think more people would get along better than they expect.

There are those who have a specific agenda and those are the ones you need to sepak directly to and ask the questions to properly protect yourself.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 11
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:04:44 AM
UPDATE

This update is for everyone who was on the girls side!
I get a call from the girl I am talking about in this thread. She tells me she has been really thinking about me, about us and has been talking to her mother...blah blah blah.

Anyway she is calling and texting me all week and then she tells me that she has to go to her grandmothers funeral in GA. So I tell her I am sorry to hear that and to be safe and to get hold of me when she comes back. Anyway the following week I am out at a local spot when guess who I see burnin it up on the dance floor. I smile and think that it is good that she is having fun after her grandmothers passing.

Something is wrong because she is totally acting like I don't exist. I even walked right in front of her twice and the second time stood right in front of her and she acted like I was invisible...so the 3rd time I walked up to her and spoke...she say, "hi Keelan, my babbies daddy is right over there" so I just walked away.

So...did i right her off to easy? Hell NO! I should have wrote her off on the first day. And I know some bxxch is going to read this and say something like, "well you should have spoke the fist time" or "you shouldn't walk up to a girl if you do not know if she is there alone" or "maybe she is in a situation...blah,blah,blah" You know what F**K you too!
 Go Rin No Sho
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 12
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 1/17/2009 7:34:32 PM
"An *ignorant* woman would probably have never heard of Medellin and Pablo Escobar. From your posts, it appears like you are doing an excellent job of attracting ignorant women with lots of drama."

LOL! Some are just loser Velcro! We can't see the big "L" on their foreheads or the big "V" (not for Vendetta) on ours!
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 13
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:00:47 AM
My rule is "Two strikes, you're out"
For the same reason's you state, but since we all have our bad days/moments, I figure 2 strikes acknowledges the flag on the field, but is a little more forgiving than just one strike...especially when you're first getting to know someone. They might just be going through a hard time, for whatever reason, and maybe an extra week or two is all they need to get past whatever their issue is.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 14
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:10:18 AM
I don't know about most of you but I go on dates because I get lonely. I would love to find someone to start something lasting with. When I end a date wishing that I had just stayed home playing video games or going to be early....that is negative.

What I am saying it that when you start to count the negatives vs the positives and the negatives start to outweigh the positives....it is time to reevaluate that relationship. I believe that is not healthy.

It's not the feeling of someone whistling and annoying you...it's not petty like that. But what I tell my female friends is...Remember that when you meet a guy...examine how he comes at your from day 1 because usually that is the BEST it will get. If you like romance and roses and he does not come at you with that from the start...then there is a great chance that he will never be the romantic and rose type of person. And things will just downgrade from there.

So when a date asks me for MONEY or to do this or to do that the day after our date....WTF!
I am left with a negative feeling and my level of respect for her drops a lot of points!

Sorry but I think that if a women feels comfortable with you to ask you for money or to buy this or buy that...then you should be comfortable wither her to ask her for sex. Most will try to disagree when I say that Money=Sex and Sex=Money. But to break it down it is like this:

All most every women thinks that MOST men if not All men only want one thing SEX!
All most every man thinks that MOST women only want one thing MONEY!
So women are on guard for men who just want sex.
So men are on guard for women who just want money.
Which means a womens sex is protected just like a mans money!
Sex to women is what money is for men because as we all know most men don't care about giving up sex...but men do care about someone getting into their wallet as women care about someone getting in between their legs!

DISPUTE ME!!!!
 quietstorm8
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 15
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:52:13 AM
i have also written off someone after
getting negative feelings,but after 2 decades of dating, in
retrospect,i also found times where the 'feelings' were my own of fear
of rejection and other hangups.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 16
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:36:48 AM
metalvixxn:


If that's how you really feel about men and women, I TRULY feel sorry for you.


Hey I am a lover not a fighter. But really you know and I know that all women are worried about a guy wanting one thing. Come on you see it all over the posts on every other profile: Im not interested in one night stands; if you just looking for sex move on; if you just want a hook up click next; if you think agree to meet means agree for sex dream on; and on and on and on. Maybe you don't see it because you don't surf female profiles!!!! So again SEX is protected by women.

And as a man and talking with other men. We worry about women only wanting us for money or what we can do for them. That is our main worry. Will she date me if I don't have enough money, if I still live with my parents, if I don't have a care...and on and on all these things that we do or don't have usually have to do with or financial situation....money or the lack there of!!!
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 17
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Do I Write Women Off Too Easy?
Posted: 3/9/2009 8:22:37 AM
Update:

For all you who were on the females side. I am usually right about people that I meet I think it is something good gave me to protect me form certain people. But I don't always go with my instinct but more and more I learn that I should.

Anyway about a month or so ago I run back into this female again at a local bar. She was on the dance floor so I walked past her once close enough to touch her. Then I walk by a second time I stood right next to her. She didn't even acknowledge my existence. So the third time I stood right in front of her face while she was on the dance floor. The didn't even look at me! She mumbled something about her children's father being there. So I walked over to him and spoke with him and my cousin.

Two weeks later she calls me up to invite me to her birthday party! Ha ha yea right! So from the outset...all she was doing was trying to use me...if you think otherwise...I got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
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