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 Ms.Tina nw
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 1
What Should I Do?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I've been seeing this guy over 2 years now, and i have deep feeling about him but he don't feel the same about me, and i wrote and told him how i feel, all he say is that sweet of you. last month i ask him to let take a trip somewhere where nice he told me that he don't want me to get the wrong ideal and think that this is a relationship,so we didn't go. I can't say this is all about sex cause we don't have sex that much. all he do is wine and dine m, he's good with that. But i like this man alot and don't know what i should do, should i break it off and end it for good with him or keep lettin him wine and dine me? Please someone help me and tell me what to do and how to do it. Thanks
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 2
What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/14/2008 10:25:38 AM
some men are so dume that they only appreciate you when you are gone
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 3
What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/14/2008 10:26:45 AM
dumb (oops) just like they are
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 4
What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/14/2008 11:27:29 AM
All he does is wine and dine you and hang out and have fun with you? That cad!

This IS a relationship, but one you are growing weary of. You already told him exactly how you feel, and he didn't bolt out the door. Can you live with your relationship as it stands? If so, stay. If you want more, keep asking for it. Eventually the answer will come to you.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
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What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/14/2008 2:10:42 PM
Okay, you've done the total fool thing and wrote him a long touchy-feely letter about how nuts you are about him, I assume in hopes that he would melt like butter and pour into your arms claiming his undying love. He said that was sweet of you, which is just a tad bit better than if he had laughed at you but certainly not what you wanted. So unless you are 12-14 and living in a that young teen crush stage, what part didn't you get? He's not interested, he'll have sex with you as long as you are willing but only when he feels like it, which doesn't seem to be very often and he hangs out with you when he's hasn't anything else to do...he's barely a friend at all and not anywhere near a boyfriend, he's not really even a friend with benefits because he doesn't want even that much with you. As long as you are a doormat he might keep coming around, again, when he feels like it, nothing seems to be about you or your wants or needs, but if you ever feel the need to be with a man who actually likes you, wants you as a girlfriend, treats you with respect and will be looking for something long term with you...you need to lose this guy or you won't be what a man is looking for if he should come along. I could be wrong, but I know I'd have zero interest in man who has a FWB while waiting to meet someone like me.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 7
What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/14/2008 5:59:44 PM
OP - He is bus to nowhere. You gave him 2 years of your life in hopes that you had a future with this man. You are in dating purgatory. He is spending lots of time with you, having sex with you on occassion and yet he says he doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. This is downright insulting to a woman. I remember a boyfriend that I lived with and was sleeping with, in love with, tell my friends I was not his girlfriend and he was just helping me out financially. I was humiliated. In saying that, he is telling you you are nothing to him but an indefinite good time. He doesn't care about your future, your feelings, or your time. 2 years here, 2 years there, and pretty soon you in your 40s and still no mate. I know how it feels - I don't give them 2 years anymore. Too expensive for me - money can be replenished, years of your life cannot. He thinks you have no boundaries - start setting them now.
 robernj
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 8
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What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/14/2008 9:28:14 PM
Well I would agree with the other posters and say he is not all that into you. If after 2 years you still can't call what you have a "relationship" I don't think it'll happen anytime soon. As for what you should do, it depends on what you want right now. If you are content with your current status that is fine, but don't wait around for it to become more...you may be waiting a long time.
 Mike8998
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 9
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What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/15/2008 12:42:08 AM
It sounds like he's complacent... he's enjoying what he's getting from you and doesn't see a reason or desire to pursue something more... it's been going on for 2 years, and he doesn't want you to get the wrong idea??

OP, I would say move on. Like a previous poster said... there are more fish. Find one with your oriented goals on where you want things to end up.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 10
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What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:35:20 PM

should i break it off and end it for good with him or keep lettin him wine and dine me?


You might as well let him keep wining and dining you while you look elsewheres for his replacement. I mean if you break it off with him now you go home emptyhanded with two years wasted and nobody to take you out.
You can meet new people while you`re out with him plus he`s footin` the bill.

Once you find someone who`ll give you the commitment you want, drop him like a prom dress.

No harm done, he did say it wasnt a relationship. You cant get them two years back but you might as well get something out of it.
Always be on the take...........
 traceyn1978
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 11
What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/24/2008 10:02:23 PM
I agree with Stefyleigh
Some great advice, so find someone who will make you happy

Good Luck
 sydneyleigh
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 12
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What Should I Do?
Posted: 12/25/2008 10:39:27 AM
I have a guy friend that started down the path you are on, and I had to make a similar choice.

We seem to drift in and out of each others lives. I'd love to have a relationship with him, but very shortly into whatever was happening, it became clear that was NOT going to happen for him.

So, I just told him that I enjoyed his company, but I was actually interested in finding a life partner - so I'd fit time with him into my schedule as it allowed. The short of it is when I'm available, we are together about 2 days a week, and when I am not... well, we exchange emails and the occasional phone call, and leave it at that. Every once in a while he'll get in touch and want to squeeze into my life again, and I make an active choice as to what level of communication I give him. I enjoy the time we spend together, but I KNOW there will never be anything more than a friendship, (despite what a great partner I think he'd be) and I conduct my personal life according to that truth.

If this guy isn't meeting your needs, start looking for a guy that can. Don't sell yourself short because of what "might be... if...." - he's been clear about where he stands. Keep the old guy around, or not... if you enjoy his company, there is value to the relationship, but you have to be honest with yourself about your motivations for keeping him in your life. You could miss out on something beautiful hanging on to a dead end "relationship". If he decides he's into you in the future, I'm sure he'll be back. (and you haven't missed a damn thing in the mean time)

Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean you can have a relationship with them.

I always say "Your opinion of me has absolutely no bearing on my opinion of you". I feel what I feel, but its up to me to be responsible for those feelings. There is no obligation for the other side to reciprocate in any way.

sydney
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