Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 miss_contemplative
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 251
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
^^^That was priceless!

I rarely attract what I'll call "knuckle draggers," probably because they lack the intellectual stamina to keep up with my annoying propensity for deep thought.

I think for these types of men, an intelligent and witty woman is kind of like a novelty, like a unicycle...really cool to watch someone ride one, but has one hell of a learning curve!

To that, I'd ask, what quantifies this intelligence exactly? I mean is it the ability to communicate effectively? Is it how quickly she can grasp things?

I still think that intelligence is cool but I suspect that most men are more attracted to a woman who makes him feel lucky to have her in his life. What determines the element of this luck is something HE has to measure, but I think it's more in how you make a guy "feel" as opposed to what you make him "think."
 cavalry2therescue
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 252
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:16:31 AM
Same here, Parry. I'll take wit and intelligence over physical beauty any day.

Now, as to sarcasm? That's another matter altogether. Based on some things I've learned over the past year and a half: did you know sarcasm is actually a danger sign for anger management problems? (This is a professional assessment from two shrinks specializing in the subject and their book for practitioners .) It's linked with excessive swearing, racism, and other less-known characteristics of anger problems like 'rumination' and 'revenge ideations'. So let that be a warning.
 cavalry2therescue
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 253
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:24:17 AM
Want to know how to separate the dross from the gold? Play Scrabble with her! The wit and intelligence quickly come to the fore. And you can't be worried about losing since that'll be proof positive of her talents and your good character. Two for one!
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 254
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:20:33 AM
Men will go for a woman who makes them aroused. Sexually.
That's the bottom line.

Men don't like women who are their superiors mentally. I have had to dumb it
down a lot around men. Submissive type guys get along better with me.
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 255
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:56:02 AM
I think it's more in how you make a guy "feel" as opposed to what you make him "think."

I agree with this, most men don't go for women just because they can challenge their intellect(or at least the vast majority of the ones I have come across). There are already entire industries devoted to the pursuit and distribution of scientific and philosophical knowledge and plenty of social networks that cater to those subjects.

Sure, a lot of men like a smart partner, it's a nice bonus, but it won't make up for more obvious faults; although, let's be real here, most people(men and women) think they're intelligent and/or witty, it's completely subjective.


Men don't like women who are their superiors mentally. I have had to dumb it
down a lot around men.
Right, what man wouldn't want a woman that makes false generalizations and talks down to them.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 256
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:50:10 AM
The honest answer? I will ONLY date women that are intelligent and witty. Period.


The simple truth is that of the women I've personally met, 95% of them think they are "intelligent, witty and funny", when really only about 10% were. To me at least the women that SAY they are smart and funny very seldom are.

I'm sure that goes for both genders.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 257
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:04:32 PM

Men will go for a woman who makes them aroused. Sexually.
That's the bottom line.

Men don't like women who are their superiors mentally. I have had to dumb it
down a lot around men. Submissive type guys get along better with me.
Hmm, OK, but what about if what makes the man aroused is the woman's intelligence?
 scottdehart
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 258
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:41:48 PM
It all depends on the guy.

I was watching a dvd, second season of Universe, and it had a lady scientists that I was drooling (almost) over. Smart, articulate and oh so sexy!!! (IMO)

But I'm a nerd.

 happy-go-lucky_
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 259
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:03:41 PM
It's a truism that n3rds get no love--males and females alike.

I personally thrive on intellectual exchanges, but that doesn't mean that I expect my conversations to flit from Descartes to Nietzsche to Foucault--it's best when the participants are able to bring original thoughts to the table, and I have tremendous appreciation for a good sense of humour and a sharp wit, as well.

Those are just two types of intelligence though, and it's quite likely that not everyone is turned on by the two kinds I mentioned above. The fact of the matter is, a person akin to George W. Bush is always going to be more popular and better loved than someone who is more intellectually inclined--such is life.
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 260
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:23:42 PM
Many or not if most the women who scream out loud that they are intelligent and witty are usually the one's who are delusional. A person who is really intelligent and witty and so on is not likely to scream it out to everyone, they are confident enough to believe that people will just see it without it being mentioned.

Men are not running away from intelligent and witty women, they are just running away from the women who claim to be but are not.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 261
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:49:54 PM

Men are not running away from intelligent and witty women, they are just running away from the women who claim to be but are not.


Agree, the same is true on the flipside.

That's one of the reasons my profile(s) are so outside the "norm". Yes, profiles because I like to write.

I was never all that comfortable with making claims, because bottom line, no matter what I may think about myself, it's up to the other person to make their own decision. Same for everyone else, they do anyway, so I'd rather post something I had fun writing and with a more humorous bent. Like it, lump it, from the email I get many get the humor, a very few don't.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 262
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:51:07 PM
I admit I haven't read more than half of this thread, but op, you should realize that it it others' perception of you, not your portrayal, that makes you attractive. This is not to say that you aren't classy, witty & intelligent, but that you need to be careful of how you define yourself, and not to come across as pompous or arrogant. One can be classy, witty, intelligent, and also sexy & fun!

At the risk of offending the 20 something males (not that I care, as they are far too young for me, and far too old for my daughters! ), it is likely that the boys your age wouldn't recognize those qualities anyway, unless they were tattooed on your breasts. Good luck!
 happy-go-lucky_
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 263
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:59:29 PM

At the risk of offending the 20 something males (not that I care, as they are far too young for me, and far too old for my daughters! ), it is likely that the boys your age wouldn't recognize those qualities anyway, unless they were tattooed on your breasts. Good luck!

Not to worry, I doubt whether anyone would find it offensive, but it does appear to prove that you probably turned a blind eye to the guys who were in fact capable of appreciating those qualities when you were that age yourself.

Anyway, it's not just the guys who are this way, the girls are also much less likely to notice a decent guy with a good head on his shoulders if he doesn't look like one of the "McDreamy"s of this world.
 DriverSergio
Joined: 10/7/2009
Msg: 264
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:23:11 PM
How about this. Women who have the veneer of high intelligence are dying to find themselves in the hands of lamberjack types who simply don't understand the "intelligent" BS for awhile and walk away because they can't converse in that foreign language. Then they lear to smile and the sparks fly.
Now you know the rest of the story.
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 265
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:59:56 PM
I think that when two people have the same type of interests or sense of humor coupled with similar intelligence, then it can make for great conversations and great fun. I don't think it really boils down to men not liking intelligence or liking it but it is an element in whether two people can really get along. I'm sure there are plenty of women who have similar intelligence to me but there interests are different or different sense of humor so it may appear that i don't like intelligent women which wouldn't have anything to do with it.
 verityone
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 266
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:48:32 AM
To that, I'd ask, what quantifies this intelligence exactly? I mean is it the ability to communicate effectively? Is it how quickly she can grasp things?

IMO, what quantifies "intelligence", is not so much raw IQ, but a woman who is adept and self reliant, capable at problem solving, and is not naive about her surroundings, and the way that people operate.
Those who seek an "intelligent" woman, are looking for a partner. They're looking for a relationship based on interdependence.
There are those who look for co-dependent relationships, like men who look for a "mommy", or look to be the "daddy" in the relationship.

I still think that intelligence is cool but I suspect that most men are more attracted to a woman who makes him feel lucky to have her in his life.

I would say that's exactly right, however, the reasons for feeling "lucky" about a woman can vary wildly when you factor what relationship type a particular man is seeking.
A man looking to be the "daddy" paired up with an "intelligent" woman, as I elaborated on earlier, would not be a good fit.

That's why shopping for a partner soley by "attributes" is foolish without doing an analysis of their characters and behaviours.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 267
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:45:18 PM
(sucks air into chest, to once again deliver a message that will fall on deaf ears, but here goes...)

Men don't dislike intelligent and witty women. We dislike abrasive, obnoxious ones, who THINK they're intelligent and witty.

Is it just me, or is it really hilarious how some women (I'm sure men do it too) will, after a relationship heads south, state that it was because they were "too much of (X)", where X is a POSITIVE attribute?

Why do people have such a dread of making HONEST self-appraisals, and instead retreat into grade-school, "Oh, well, I was too good for him/her!" You weren't too good; you were a waste of skin in their eyes!

Sheesh...

Bimbly
 Baribone
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 268
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:16:21 PM
Because with some men all they want is sex and they know that with a woman with some sense isn't going to for all of that. I like intelligent and witty women. Trust and believe they are freaky too but they want more than just sex.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 269
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:27:16 PM

Okay, from my person experience, only a small demographic of men actually like women who portray themselves as classy, intelligent beings with a great sense of humor.
I like them, but do they like me? Can they get past my forwardness and direct nature?



They may say that these are fantastic attributes, yet I constantly see men chasing the stereotypical sexpot. I've also been dumped a couple times for someone deemed "more attractive", and or frankly dumb. I'm not trying to sound arrogant by any means, but are men intimidated by this? Or, am I just meeting the wrong (shallow) people? I'd like to hear your opinions, or stories. Thanks!
Me personally I would never dump someone I really liked for someone who is visually more "attractive". A person who is good looking enough can become incredibly "attractive" to me if there is brains & intelligence behind that, turning me on MORE than just somebody who is theoretically better looking.
 The Green Genie
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 270
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:43:40 PM
why is it that women dislike intelligent and witty men?

Both questions have the same answer.
Think about it.
 Touchdown Bundy
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 271
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:10:58 PM
I think stupid chicks are getting the short end of the stick in this thread. All these guys proclaiming that they will only date the most intelligent women around. Well, I will gladly go out with any not-so-smart women who may come around. I don't need to sit around and talk about politics or Noam Chomsky, or any other BS that self-proclaimed "smart" folks like to mentally masturbate over. I don't care what your IQ is, it's all about the heart.
 Guarded Fortress
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 272
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:45:35 PM
men like women who are intelligent, witty and with sense of humor...however, the following things are things that might stand in the way (unfortunatelly): body odor, no sense of style, being clingy, being stuck up, being too short, being too fat, .....you name it...You know these things...insecurity is a big one...we tend to put down the pretty girls because we know that we don't quite look like them...I personally always wanted to be described as unique ,desireable,interesting and sexy...My intelligence is always seen right away as well as my sense of humor so I never really tried that hard...I am a big girl, and I know that there are women prettier than me but what draws men (some men) to me is my personality...
Reevaluate and try again,

best of luck!
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 273
view profile
History
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:28:24 PM

I am a big girl, and I know that there are women prettier than me but what draws men (some men) to me is my personality...

I bet it is, indeed! I've only read one paragraph from you but I already can tell that you have a very positive outlook on life that can be a real man-magnet.

Frankly, I've found the world to be a great mirror. If all you see outside is negativity, then there's probably a lot of negativity inside of you. That's why I choose the women who have a great outlook on life. If they can see the beauty and wonder of the world, then that means they are beautiful, wonderful people inside, too.

If you think you're being rejected because you're intelligent and witty, you're wrong. If you think you're being rejected because you're overweight, you're wrong. If you think you're being rejected because of your height, you're wrong.

The reason you're being rejected is because you think you're being rejected.
 Walkingrain
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 274
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:22:40 PM
I don't think you are getting out enough or just not with the right crowd.

One question. Are you equating wit with sarcasim? That can be a turnoff.

Could it be that some of these guys you refer to lack maturity and self confidence?
 acuddler
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 275
Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:16:52 AM
You are picking the wrong guys to meet, or mis-treating the guys you date. J.K. Rowling is intelligent,and witty, and-as the richest woman in the United Kingdom, and third richest woman in the world-she has no trouble getting a date when she wants one. Of course, she has enough money that she is not looking for Prince Moneybags to come along, and rescue her from the drudgery of work, and she already owns her own castle...literally. Without more data, I can't say much about you.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why does it seem that men dislike intelligent and witty women?