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 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 42
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going softPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

The first time I was on top I was told I had trouble "movin to the groove"

Then you were copulating with an ass. As the next post rightly points out, when you're on top, you're driving, and it's just wrong for the "passenger" to criticize your moves. He coulda learned something.



Still vote for the spin on the skin lol


FFO! Gives new purpose to the hanging (bottomless) basket. It ain't just for plants anymore.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 45
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 10:12:11 AM

I personally love the position myself and have never had a partner lose his erection in that position


Dayym, you even have the right hat for it! Spent fifteen years in Oklahoma and the hat still turns my head. Lol.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 49
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History
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 2:54:44 PM

I have a somewhat odd question. I have discovered, in the past year, that I really like to be on top and can orgasm quite easily that way, most of the time.Some of them seem to really like it, and 1 came with me when I was on top.

But *some* of them have gotten soft when I've been on top, which to me probably means they don't like that position or it doesn't work for them? Or what?

This has happened for sure with 3 different guys now.

From this here I see that you do mention that you can reach the big O quite easily, but my question is how long does this usually take? With some guys if this takes too long they might go soft from this taking too long for you to get off. Like many of the other guys on here have said, I am a huge fan of the woman on top, I love watching her going up and down on me and admiring her beautiful body and all it's great parts, but if this process begins to take too long it can become, dare I say it, boring? And some may simply loose interest, if you are on top doing all the work and taking a while. Maybe try changing up the position while you are on top or other methods, but keeping him interested and into the moment is key. Better luck next time, and by the sounds of it you seem to not be exclusive so I sure hope you're using protection.
 johnschmidt
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 50
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 3:37:54 PM
I think that this is a very individual thing for the guy(s). It just depends what interferes (e.g., not being in control enough might upset some guys--and when guys are upset, you know what happens) and/or fails to give them enough stimulation to keep them hard.

I'd recommend discussing it with the man outside of the bedroom (and when sex is not immediately in prospect). Ask him if there's anything you can try to make your favorite position work better for him.

The other option would be (if he doesn't go soft immediately), do it your way for few mins, then switch to a position that will get him harder again; then go back to your position until he begins to lose it, then back to something that will get him hard, etc., etc.

Good luck. Don't give up on something that does it for you so well.
 CRAZY 4 DOGS
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 51
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 6:36:54 PM
Well you know what? I've been a little reluctant to post my 2c because I realized it was all posted on your profile...like it or not. But I don't seem to be getting much attention anyways so I'm just gonna join in the fun!
As for liking on top and having your guy go soft, I guess what I would think is he's not that into that position. Just like with everything we all have our preferences.
Try doggy...at the right angle you will get the g spot too. And as for reverse cowgirl... it's great for the ones who like the spanking!!!
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 53
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 7:45:14 PM

Well you know what? I've been a little reluctant to post my 2c because I realized it was all posted on your profile...like it or not. But I don't seem to be getting much attention anyways so I'm just gonna join in the fun!


The sex forum is more fun than the others, Crazy. Lol. I post in these things frequently, and it seems they only keep the last 25 threads, whether in your history (right under your pic in these pages), or online through google (if they search your pof user name). Pfft. Can't know for sure, but I suspect that profile scanners, IF they get past your photos, past your interests and whatever your "about me" says, and IF they scroll to the bottom of your page, may be satisfied with whatever is quoted there from your last five posts, which is all or most of the first line of each post. Sooooo, at least with this post, you're probably in the clear. Lol. Btw, I haven't been spanked yet for anything from the forums showing up on my profile, although I have been occasionally attacked for something I said by other posters in the thread. Some of these forum folks have sharp elbows.
Post with impunity, Darlin'. Everybody else does.
 wdriver
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 54
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 12/17/2008 7:59:13 PM
But I don't seem to be getting much attention anyways so I'm just gonna join in the fun!

Crazy 4 dogs:
I find that hard to believe. You'd be getting attention where I live.


OP: Lots of good possible reasons stated above. One more possibility, maybe there is some pain involved. I've had a couple of gf's that would grind away on top, and would sometimes bend my c**k and it was very painful. It only happened a few times, when they would be grinding out of control. That being said, I myself LOVE it when she is on top. I get to observe alot of her body. Both of my hands are free, and I love to grab and fondle and squeeze woman - meat. There is nothing like having two handfuls of woman and being inside her at the same time. I absolutely cannot adequetly describe it! Her being on top is high on my list of what makes a really good cumfest.
 hellgremlin
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 60
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History
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:54:01 PM
I'll tell you my personal story of why I never let women be on top anymore.

I think I was around 18 when this happened. I was engaging in some particularly vigorous bouncy-bouncy, when my lady friend over-extended her lunge, and slid off my fuck-bat. Said fuck-bat then came to rest in the little concave pit between her crotch and thigh, and she brought her full weight back down on it before I could react.

I jackknifed. If you don't know what jackknifing is, pray you never find out. There was a sound, almost like bone breaking, and my world became a searing, screaming onslaught of never before matched agony. I'd rather endure vivisection at the hands of cruel Unit 731 doctors than go through that again. I'd rather let Josef Mengele go wild on my insides, sans anaesthesis. Even years later, I still have a very slight curve to the side, and a thickening in the middle of my shaft as a result.

Suffice it to say that faced with the potential reoccurence of such a penile holocaust, the woman's pleasure becomes a distant second prioritywise, trailing far behind "not shattering my dick."
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 63
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:47:04 PM
Never met a guy who did not know how to position me to avoid "shrinkage" in that position. Maybe I was lucky.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 64
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:52:22 PM
woman have a hard time doing the work, if a woman can keep up and go hard and fast its great, the problem with most women is they are lazy lovers
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 65
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:23:40 PM

I'll tell you my personal story of why I never let women be on top anymore.

I think I was around 18 when this happened. I was engaging in some particularly vigorous bouncy-bouncy, when my lady friend over-extended her lunge, and slid off my ****-bat. Said ****-bat then came to rest in the little concave pit between her crotch and thigh, and she brought her full weight back down on it before I could react.

I jackknifed. If you don't know what jackknifing is, pray you never find out. There was a sound, almost like bone breaking, and my world became a searing, screaming onslaught of never before matched agony. I'd rather endure vivisection at the hands of cruel Unit 731 doctors than go through that again. I'd rather let Josef Mengele go wild on my insides, sans anaesthesis. Even years later, I still have a very slight curve to the side, and a thickening in the middle of my shaft as a result.

Suffice it to say that faced with the potential reoccurence of such a penile holocaust, the woman's pleasure becomes a distant second prioritywise, trailing far behind "not shattering my****"



OUCH!!!!! but you have a way with words that makes me
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 67
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:11:16 PM
I can do more from the bottom than she is doing from the top.


I think you pitched this with disdain, but was reminded of one lady, kinda tiny, who hopped on top one day, with kind of an impish grin, claiming she was gonna take control, and control the pace! Lol The moment, well maybe three, I started to thrust up, her jaw kinda dropped, and eyes closed, and she said somethin' about, "Unnhhh, if you're gonna do THAT . . . . ", and Goooosh! O's generally came freely to her, but her ex apparently was a top-only guy, and she had always been kinda pinned underneath with no wiggle room. Lol After that, all the hip bones in the vicinity were moving in unison, no matter who was "on top".
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 70
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:53:20 PM
hellgremlin wrote:
I think I was around 18 when this happened. I was engaging in some particularly vigorous bouncy-bouncy, when my lady friend over-extended her lunge, and slid off my ****-bat. Said ****-bat then came to rest in the little concave pit between her crotch and thigh, and she brought her full weight back down on it before I could react.

I jackknifed. If you don't know what jackknifing is, pray you never find out. There was a sound, almost like bone breaking, and my world became a searing, screaming onslaught of never before matched agony. I'd rather endure vivisection at the hands of cruel Unit 731 doctors than go through that again. I'd rather let Josef Mengele go wild on my insides, sans anaesthesis. Even years later, I still have a very slight curve to the side, and a thickening in the middle of my shaft as a result.


Penile-fracture, I think it's officially called - I also think that it generally requires a trip to the emergency room, but don't hold me to that.

Effectively, the bend causes a tear in the corpora cavernosa - and let me tell you that while I've never experienced it, just reading your post made me cringe.



As to the topic at hand, I like that position - obviously care must be taken, though.

Also, I tend to have a sharp upward incline to my penis, so a woman would generally HAVE to lean forward for me - I can let the erection soften slightly in order to allow my penis to "unbend" so that it's perpendicular to me, but with a full, 100% erection, I can't do that without serious pain.

Finally, Isuspect that blood flow has something to do with it, along with breathing as mentioned. With a full erection, I find I have to part my legs a little bit, otherwise I'm squeezing/putting pressure on things somewhat at the grundle (I never knew what that was called before!)
 tennisman2388
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 72
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:48:29 PM
Sometimes girl on top actually hurts if the girl is too boney. Pain is a distraction for me. Also, with girl on top I'm pretty much pinned down; so it's not easy to do any thrusting of my own. Therefore my own stimulation is more limited. I won't go soft by a long shot (pun intended) but I sometimes don't cum either.

OP, so my guess would be pain and/or lack of stimulation. Try some additional stimulation like the previously mentioned nipple pinching (not too hard), or if you're flexible enough-reach around and play with his sac-that's one does it for me.
 ThatsNOTmybaby
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 74
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:26:50 PM
TRUST me... if a guy don't like it or can't keep it "hard" when a woman on top...these are the 2 main reasons:

1) He's GAY (don't like coochie)
OR
2) YOUR cooch wasn't good enough to him perhaps ( maybe sexual incompatibility... yes Ladies it true.. not all coochie is GOOD coochie!!)

Hey it happens....
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 77
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Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 2/28/2010 4:25:31 PM
I don't know, never happened to me. Maybe they have to be in control to maintain an erection. I have to be in control, doing to movement to climax, being on top. A woman can ride me till she's tired and I can't come unless I start bucking my hips.

Maybe they get scared that you might break their penis. That can happen, as someone mentioned earlier, almost happened to me a couple of times, too long strokes and it comes out and then misses the hole....ouch! As a precaution I hold on to her hips so she can't move too far, has to do shorter strokes.
 Rob_SA
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 78
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:35:09 PM

anyrealpeoplehere: Here's your answer....I can't believe nobody got it yet! The guys who are going limp are not breathing properly during sex. When they reach orgasm after a little action, they start breathing fast and the "tool" is last on the list to keep blood flowing to. Pay attention to them during sex if they breath on a regular basis or just focus on the act of the sex......

I'm overweight with a large belly. With a woman on top my belly gets pushed up into my diaphragm and I can't breathe. Doesn't make for good sex.

See it's easier when you've given up... you can tell the truth on the PoF forums! :-)
 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 79
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:34:30 PM
I love woman and top and LOVE sliding as mentioned in early pages... don't know what's up with OP's problem... maybe they're uncomfortable subconsciously (woman on TOP)?
 Water75
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 80
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 3/1/2010 12:43:26 PM
cant answere that most women would be scared to ride me.
 MamitaMorena
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 84
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:22:12 PM
I've never had this happen to me. MEn getting soft. Maybe I've just been fortunate that way.

Try alternating rhythms, speeds, and intensity. Open that mental sexual bag of tricks. Flex the walls of the vagina while youre on top of him. You know, the Kegels. Practice by yourself and when youre really good at flexing your kegels, each muscle individually, try it with your man. It keeps the penis "interested". Also, don't be the same "one-trick trick". Read up on different positions from being on top. Reverse cowgirl, cowirl, scissor lock, the swing, the see-saw, etc.. There are so many out ther for girl-on-top positions it'll literally take you all night into the next day. Loosen up. Don't be afraid to experiment.

Also, use a flexible c*ck ring. This is helpful if your gent is an older man. It helps keep the blood flow into the penis, without totally restricting it. They're usually made of latex rubber, or leather bands that can be lubricated and snapped on, like a bracelet cuff. Stay away from metal c*ckrings as they constrict too much.

Also, make sure you arent leaning agains tthe Femoral artery, which is located in the groin on the left and right of the base of the penis, where the innter thigh meets the testes. Pressing against this arterio-veinous area, even gently, can cause flaccidity in some men. This can increase with age and illness. Also, ask your mate if he has diabetes or high blood pressure, as well as any circulatory or cardiac issues. These can increase erectile dysfunctions.
 MamitaMorena
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 86
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:33:30 PM
Read the post before you comment on it. I believe I discussed several steps for her to help ensure that.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 88
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History
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 3/2/2010 6:55:30 AM
It's all about basic male physiology. The penis will stay erect if the sensations and stimuli it receives are pushing it towards orgasm and ejaculation, if not, the erection shuts down. Nothing complicated here.
Sometime when my lady gets really going while on top, she gets pretty wild and out of control AND kind of violent in her movements. Frankly, it can be sometimes downright uncomfortable. When that happens; SHUTDOWN. It's a autonomic nervous system response.
Answer; Keep it fun for the guy too while you're getting yours. You'll figue it out, I'm sure.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 90
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 3/2/2010 8:35:37 AM
Personally speaking, the whold grindy slidey thing feels good, but most women do it to slow for me to get off like that and I could literally do that for an hour and be fine maybe slightly bored but no spurt...I personally prefer when were chest to chest, and im squeezing her bunz with my hands and making out while I thrust...thats about the only way with girl on top i can finish.

I agree with Todd on the first page...you HAVE to mix the up and down and the grind/slide for me...otherwise I just get a lil bored...
 passionteman
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 91
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 3/2/2010 9:03:27 AM
Some guys enjoy looking at the action and the friction in and out.

So.......................

When you are on top, the guy can't see the action that keeps him excited.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 93
Q about sex w/girl on top and guy going soft
Posted: 3/2/2010 11:11:09 AM
Shallow sex is nice...so sensitive...and the best is when you slam down when he least expects it....shit when my ex did that my eyes did an impression of a vegas slot machine damn!
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