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 coca2
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 108
Body Issues?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I couldn't agree more with message #125......................
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 109
Body Issues?
Posted: 12/29/2008 6:49:03 PM

If I'm with a guy and he has a big belly I'm ok with that. However I would feel a little weird if he tried to cover it up....



That's because wearing corsets if something women wear , not men. A man would look like a darn fool with one on. Not a thing sexy about that image. For the op though not only are corsets sexy, they not only cover , but contain and suck in any belly issues you may have. They are not very expensive either.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 110
Body Issues?
Posted: 12/30/2008 4:31:04 AM
Gees it is nice of everyone to tell her to be okay with her body but you can okay that till the cows come home... SHE IS NOT OKAY WITH THE EXCESS SKIN... and until you have an overflap of thin excess skin sagging at your abdomenal area I believe you are all talk... seriously if she asked you if you wanted to wear her excess skin would you ???

Let me point something out to you... I'm fat. I think I do understand what it feels like to be uncomfortable with ones body and how it feels to have excess skin hanging or sagging. So I'm not all talk. She needs to get over this one and she can if she just pushes herself a little bit and does what is initially uncomfortable.

I personally don't feel that surgery is the answer because that just leads to the "just one more" syndrome. After the stomach is perfect she'll probably find something else horribly wrong with her body and change her obsession to that. Body issues need to be solved mentally and not surgically.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 111
Body Issues?
Posted: 12/30/2008 7:45:37 AM
OP, while everyone is telling you to go for the surgery... my advice is still the same...

There are great men out there who will love everyone of your life lines... the reminders of what you brought into this world. I know it is hard to accept that when the media and everything says "look like this," but some men want real women...

Surgery is great, but if you haven't fixed what is wrong emotionally, the surgery really won't make the difference in the end as it is an emotional issue. Also, surgery is dangerous... be sure if you go this route you find a really good certified board surgeon.

I had surgery two years ago. My scar runs from the back of one shoulder to the other shoulder, up the underside of my arms and around my chest. I was worried that a man wouldn't be able to look at it and find it sexy... I met one man who couldn't. But I did meet a man who loved it. He kissed every single inch of the scar and reminded me that life is precious... and that scar was my reminder how precious it was....

Now, I embrace everyone of my scars... and know that they are reminders of the life I am now enjoying.

If a guy can't be with you for who you are , then is he really worth having in your life? Me thinks not. Besides, having that surgery is no guaranty that he will stick around anyway. I think you are a beautiful woman who knows in her heart that bearing children is the ultimate life experience. Plus, at your age, you got this far... you had that body confidence before... it's still there... waiting for you to acknowledge how beautiful you really are.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Body Issues?
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:44:20 AM
Liberation: You're a very attractive woman and shouldn't be worried about imperfections. I think we all have damage, scars or things about our bodies that we feel very self concious about. Any man who isn't a complete idiot will love you for who you are and in turn will love your physical appearance, anomalies and all. I know this is true for me when I'm into someone. I actually find the physical quirks very attractive if they're on someone I care about so please try your best to get over those self concious feelings because you deserve better and there are plenty of men out there who aren't all about physical perfections.
 coca2
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 113
Body Issues?
Posted: 12/30/2008 9:11:43 AM
If one has surgery it does not mean that that person needs more work done. I am living proof. Please, just telling this woman to accept it and some man will like her for how she looks is really not the issue here. She has low esteem with HER own body. And there is NOTHING wrong with comedic surgery to help her. Her self esteem will shine.
 then_what
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Body Issues?
Posted: 1/6/2009 6:15:09 PM
I also agree with message 25.
It is easy for someone who is not in your "skin" , pun intended, to say just get over it.. I have a dear friend of mine who is a very slender person, after carrying and breastfeeding twins she was very insecure about her tummy and breasts. It is easy to say ...Sure if someone loves you for you they will and should accept this ?. But what if there is no one that loves you...
She did end up getting a divorce ,, dated etc... felt tremendously self conscious about it and had the before mentioned hang ups about walking about naked.
Well it made her very depressed she ended up getting a tummy tuck and a breast lift with a small implant ( B- cup) and after years of self doubt and being riddled by body issues she has now been the girl I knew since High school. She has since remarried and had two more children
I have empathy for all that struggle with body issue, cause lord knows I have had my own.
But then I do have somewhat of a healthy self image and believe this is how i was meant to be .
I would advise the OP to look into Yoga and Pilate's as a form of strengthening the muscles and consider surgery if her self image does not improve.
Sure there are men out there that are no "that" particular about a body, but they are few and far in between and from my experience they have their own issues whether they are physical or mental, so do what makes you feel good, you only live once.
 then_what
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 118
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History
Body Issues?
Posted: 1/6/2009 6:16:05 PM
oops that was meant to be message 125
 mischief3178
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 121
Body Issues?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:25:55 AM
i once dated a girl who had a fex extra pounds, not fat but she carried it well for her frame, i told her that her body didn't bother me one night her shirt was riding up a little and she pulled it down in disgrace for her body i pulled it back up to where it was. she started to cry right there, i wasn't laughing or being mean in anyway after all i loved her and didn't care what her body looked like i was in to her no matter what...
i guess the point is, is that if someone is in to you those things don't matter..i had dated people that were in a car crash, scars all over there bodys and everything, because they were good people and after i got to know them, i didn't see those kid of things anymore.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 122
Body Issues?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:52:59 AM
there are many men who can 'accept imperfection', thankfully, or the entire human race would cease to exist... well maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but the point is; no one is perfect and thankfully it's the imperfections, the little 'oddity's' we all have that separates us from the crowd and makes us interesting, imo

if you hate your body and can change it, then do so, sure - it's you who lives with it, you who deals with the emotional turmoil... but if you can't change it, then somehow you have to learn to live with it and learn to love it - it's a part of you, something that has remained healthy and strong and given you your beautiful children - something to be appreciated and respected

if you aren't comfortable running around naked, then wear pretty lingere, i doubt you'd have many complaints ;)

i do wish you all the best

and eyes to see yourself as the beautiful woman you are, unique and special just the way you are, right now

good luck



 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 124
Body Issues?
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:03:07 PM

That's because wearing corsets if something women wear , not men.


Who said anything about men wearing corsets?
 Rachelle~C
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 125
Body Issues?
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:10:39 PM
Who said anything about men wearing corsets?




I am not speaking of the corsets of the 1800's , but the cute sexy ones. They would cover your perceived problem area while still exposing all of your other naughty bits.



If I'm with a guy and he has a big belly I'm ok with that. However I would feel a little weird if he tried to cover it up....
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 126
Body Issues?
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:22:22 PM
^^^^who said cover it with a corset?? I'm talking about putting on sweats and a T-shirt, because he doesn't like his body. I think the op's b/f liked to run around naked.


If I'm with a guy and he has a big belly I'm ok with that. However I would feel a little weird if he tried to cover it up....


You got wear a corset out of the above statement....What an imagination is all I can say!
 Annonimiss
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 129
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/1/2009 7:40:24 AM
I was hoping to read more responses suggesting it was "okay" to have imperfections, and that it is "okay" if you don't want to run around naked ...

libration ... I totally understand what you are going through on this one. My abdomen is not what I feel is a pretty sight either, and I dread someone seeing it. I can't afford surgery, and just don't know if it would be worth the risk anyway.

To answer your question ... if there are men who can accept your "imperfection"... I'm sure there are SOME out there. Maybe you would even find one that can respect that you are just not comfortable running around naked ?

My boyfriend of many years gets a little frustrated at my "shyness" over it, but he has been really good about it. In fact, I'm not even sure if he has ever actually had a good look at it.... I know he'd love to have a "stripper-type" girlfriend, but he has put up with me , and has been pretty understanding of my insecurity.

If you were to reverse it ... If he had some imperfection that he was really self-conscious about, I would understand if HE weren't comfortable "flaunting" it....
 cifuareal1
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 130
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/1/2009 7:55:20 AM
"If you are the naked woman in the room, you're beautiful."

That is a GREAT comment! I'm going to use that one!
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:15:28 PM
Fawk 'em! Take belly dancing lessons and flaunt it, baby!
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:40:27 PM
OP: Your situation is understandable, and there are bound to be some guys out there who will appreciate you. Keep your head up, and keep fishing.
 Confident247
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 137
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:47:45 PM
I have dated a lot of women that are overweight and full figured as well, to be honest i like a woman that got some curves on her compared to skin and bone. And to be honest i have seen a ton more guys dating a full figured and plus size women than vise versa. As long as a woman is drama free, not a diva, has a sense of humor and is not a gold digger then that's as good as gold to a man. When i was younger i was into the skinner women only but i and most guys grow out of that fairly quickly in life. Most men are more insecure about themselves then women are believe it or not they believe that they have to have the total package: money, nice physique, car, a house and so on. Back when i use to go to the clubs with my friends most of them needed liquid courage (alcohol) just to talk to a woman and a lot of guys are like this. And if you go to clubs or bar you will see more guys approach bigger women first because they feel that they have a better chance of not getting rejected. The skinner women usually don't get asked unless the guy has CONFINDENCE or alcohol to give him the courage.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 138
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:07:36 PM
One woman I had a pretty good long term relationship with was a mom, she'd had 4 kids, and yeah I guess she had that kind of stomach thing going on. She never had twins though. Slightly loose skin around the abdomen area from all the stretching. She was drop dead sexy and it never bothered me at all.

I mean, from the pics of the OP, she looks pretty damn good to me. She's gotta look good naked!

Mike
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 139
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/3/2009 1:17:52 AM

The truth be known…it’s downright ugly. I was in a relationship with a man that once left me because I didn’t feel comfortable running around naked.


Then........


Men only seem to want someone that is perfect



OP ..your projecting..It is YOU that doesn't lke your tummy, NOT them.
 latendresse
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 140
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:46:10 PM
... it's probably not only what guys tell you but mostly your own opinion of yourself that hurts!!! Either your personal standards are too high or perhaps you hang around with the wrong guys because a lot of them don't think like that. I saw your picture and your age in your profile and it must be an old picture because you look fantastic! I know, I know, you have clothes on ...

Remember that men likes a confident woman; if you're insecure about your looks, then you need to grow up. You have children and that is priceless; men can come and go, but your children will always remain yours, even after death. They say that a women isn't complete until she had children (and that comes with stretched skin and stretch marks).

You're getting greedy because you let the compliments (that you are beautiful) get to your head then you have to live with your insecurities/expectations since you are not as beautiful as you think they think; make sense? You probably feel that it's like unwrapping this beautiful box to find an ugly gift ... but I've seen average looking people look far more beautiful than beautiful people because they were confident, charismatic, etc.

Some people are born ugly and ill and/or not normal. Yet they manage to find their partner. I think it tells a lot. Some people can't even have children either! Having children goes hand-in-hand with having loose skin and stretch marks. If a guy doesn't know what having children means, then he will find out sooner or later; if they cannot live with this then it's their own problem (huge problem) because this is all too natural. Besides, you better get ready to get uglier since you won't get any younger either (and your future partner as well).

Would you like your partner to be insecure about his looks? To the point of refusing to do stuff with you such as running naked? You'd probably get sick of his problem too; right? Especially if you would accept him for who he is and not how he looks? I would, eventually.

To sum this up, you are greedy and expect too much of yourself. You have to accept yourself before others can accept you for who you are. Most men sense those silent/non-spoken insecurities and some men will even take advantage of this because they need to manipulate/control their partner to fullfill other problems that are far more serious than just looks! Be careful ...

I know because I am beautiful too and had two children!

La tendresse
 MountainLadyinNC
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 141
view profile
History
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/3/2009 9:19:53 PM
I watched a makeover show about 2 months ago. The woman getting made over had the same problem and did not want surgery. The show, I believe was in LA. Anyways, and you're going to think this is crazy, because I couldn't believe it myself, they had some Jamaican woman come in and massage the skin on her belly for an hour or two. Think it was twice a week at first, then once a week there after for a month. She said it hurt a bit at first, but later sections were better. Her stomach was completely flat at the end with very tight skin. Follow-up once a month thereafter. The reasoning behind this concept was something like, if you pinch and tug at skin and massage the fat composites into their proper place, you can rejuvenate the skin and texture.

I know it sounds crazy, but I saw it. I haven't really done any research on this since, but wow, if it can do that to your belly, I'm getting my whole freakin body done. I forgot the name of it and didn't write it down, therefore kicking myself since. If anyone has any information on what type of massage this is called and where to get it on the east coast, please share.
 Sam042666
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 143
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:26:00 AM
I think thats great! applause: I would love to be able to look at myself naked!?!?! Something I have tried hard not to do with clothes on! I wish I could be that comfortable with my body! crying:How on earth do you get to that point??
 NiceSingleDadFor09
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 144
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:31:46 AM
gravity, pregnancy, and time all take tolls on our bodies... one of the most difficult (and eventually annoying) things for me was constant reassuring of my ex that I still loved her even after the twins.

IT WAS so difficult for her to understand that I took the whole package, was extremely thankful of her giving 3 of the most beautiful kids... YET I was put through the test daily as to whether I loved her..

I would have laid down my life for her... yet I had no way of proving that to her... and eventually her insecurity was the main catalyst that made it impossible for us to stay together.

My advice... focus on being comfortable with you as you are. someone who loves you for YOU is not going to care about a little twin F.U.P.A., but will accept and love you as you are.

NSDad
 sweetnsour44
Joined: 12/11/2008
Msg: 146
Body Issues?
Posted: 2/4/2009 8:11:13 AM
I am 5'3 139 pounds. A little chunky and I think guys have a problem with women being thin. They think, "This girl has to have big boob and a size 2 pant size." I am a size 10.
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