|Body Issues?Page 6 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)|
|7 pages of body issues... are we all made perfect?|
I consider myself a large women because I'm not a single digit babe.
I'm thankful I'm breathing, seeing, walking, and majority of the days I love myself!
I'm voluptuous and curvatious and it took me a long time to get this way dang it!!
After 52 years I've learned the most important thing in life is to be able to look at yourself naked in the mirror and love what you see. We aren't all the same. We are individuals. It would be one boring world if we were all the same!
I find that many gentlemen like women that have some meat on their bones. Back in the early early days a rubenesque woman was one to be proud to have on your arm.
Twiggy really did a number on females. Air brushing ruins what females see of themselves.
Reach inside to your soul and learn to love the inner you. When you love yourself then others will see the love you have to share and will be drawn to you.
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:26:00 AM
|I think thats great! applause: I would love to be able to look at myself naked!?!?! Something I have tried hard not to do with clothes on! I wish I could be that comfortable with my body! crying:How on earth do you get to that point??|
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:31:46 AM
|gravity, pregnancy, and time all take tolls on our bodies... one of the most difficult (and eventually annoying) things for me was constant reassuring of my ex that I still loved her even after the twins. |
IT WAS so difficult for her to understand that I took the whole package, was extremely thankful of her giving 3 of the most beautiful kids... YET I was put through the test daily as to whether I loved her..
I would have laid down my life for her... yet I had no way of proving that to her... and eventually her insecurity was the main catalyst that made it impossible for us to stay together.
My advice... focus on being comfortable with you as you are. someone who loves you for YOU is not going to care about a little twin F.U.P.A., but will accept and love you as you are.
Posted: 2/4/2009 8:11:13 AM
|I am 5'3 139 pounds. A little chunky and I think guys have a problem with women being thin. They think, "This girl has to have big boob and a size 2 pant size." I am a size 10.|
Posted: 2/4/2009 8:55:37 AM
|A guy in love will see you as the day he captured the love, even if many years go by. I never saw my x wife had aged until the love faded after we ended up separating. That was almost 10 years of so call rose colored glasses. I saw her as the beautiful very young woman I met all those years. |
As far as her being comfortable with her body. It took time, love and reassuring that she was comfortable with me. To me she was always beautiful and there were never any flaws.
If the man completely loves you, you will become completely comfortable with him. He will never see the flaws even with the lights on. After all us guys are usually in much worse shape then the woman we are with. You accept us so why can't we accept you.
I will admit I tend to seek very beautiful woman but there usually is character in every flaw. Carrying twins which left an imperfection is a mark of all the happiness that has brought to you. Its reality. Like many on here have said you are beautiful, focus on that not a minor imperfection left from love.
One last thought. Who hasn't seen that 90 year old couple sitting at the diner still in love.
Live, Laugh, Love. Life is good.
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:14:31 AM
|I understand exactly how you feel. In our society the media places a lot of emphasis on perfection. Magazine and tv give the impression that we should all look like the girls on the music videos. But in real life none of us is perfect.We all have little things we dislike about ourselves. But what we ourselves view as a big deal, may not be a big deal to someone else. We are our own worst critics. If the man left you because of a little saggy tummy, then he was just a low-calibur man and not someone who was worth keeping in the first place. Men have their own problems too; bald heads, beer bellies, man-boobs, hairy backs,etc. But this is real life. These things may not be a big deal for the right person, man or woman. You just need to search for a guy who is a little higher quality.|
Posted: 2/4/2009 12:34:57 PM
|Wow Boba... that was sweet... and so kind of you to point out that men don't see the flaws if they are truly in love with you. And yes, the beauty of twins is reality in its finest moment.|
Posted: 2/4/2009 12:56:07 PM
|I may not have the perfect body for everyone but I do know that there are men out there who like my body just fine, and have even said that my body was perfect "for him." We all have physical imperfections, the key is not to make them bigger issues than they really are. If you are calling attention to the imperfections by your own insecurity then they will notice them, but only because you keep pointing them out. In my experience men don't care for it very much when women complain about their bodies. My favorite saying is "Confidence is what makes a girl sexy."|
As for the running around naked thing, do you honestly think he's staring at your belly? While I am sure that there are a few out there I have yet to meet a man who said that he was a belly man. I am positive that other aspects of your body have grabbed his attention.
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:25:32 PM
|There are some very wise, beautiful, and loving people posting here.|
Your beauty and love is almost 3D...can't explain that, but that's how it comes across to me!!
I hope the OP reads these things.
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:34:32 PM
|Libration - I viewed your profile, and you are smokin hot for a 'mature' woman! |
The problem is not your body - it's your HEAD! There is a show on Lifetime I think - with one of the gay guys from the Fab Five - it's called 'How to Love your body naked' or something like that. One of the exercises is he puts several women in their underwear in a line up - from thinnest to fattest - and he asks the woman on the show to put herself in line where she sees herself. Invariably they go to the 'fat' side of the line, and invaribly they belong on the 'thin' end. . . Watch the show. Get in touch with your naked self! Get comfortable in your own skin!
I speak from experience. I had 2 C-sections and have a huge scar and 'flap' that will NOT go away. It wasn't until about a year ago, after losing a few pounds (and I mean like FIVE - not many) that I really started to feel sexy! And it showed.
My advice is to work on your self confidence and stop focusing on a very small imperfection.
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:37:01 PM
|You are the only one who thinks it's ugly. If you think ugly you are ugly and thus gains ugliness from others. Smile...really. It builds self esteem and happiness within yourself.|
Posted: 2/5/2009 1:56:43 AM
I think thats great! applause: I would love to be able to look at myself naked!?!?! Something I have tried hard not to do with clothes on! I wish I could be that comfortable with my body! crying:How on earth do you get to that point??
The human body isn't ugly. We are each different individuals that have received a body to care for during our lifetime. I'm thankful to have it and to have all the parts.
I've worked quite hard on overcoming emotional abuse along with other things blind mean people say and do and now I won't give them the time of day. My body is just what it is. I'm not satisfied with it but I'm not ashamed. Have any of you taken the time to research the art from many many years ago? Those bodies were never "perfect" either. One day I hope to find the man that sees my brains and body as a whole package and valuable enough to him to want and desire it... but until then.. I shall love myself and the package I'm in. I am my parents. This Italian face and German body was passed down to me from generations of loving family. Why would I not love it? I am carrying and showing the genes of people that loved me deep.... therefore I love myself.
So.. stand tall, shoulders back, let your eyes twinkles, smile like there is no tomorrow, and let the people looking at you wonder! Happy smiling people attract others... why be sad?
Posted: 2/5/2009 2:20:39 AM
|Christ, did you tell HIM to take a look in the mirror? Give me a break! Love, Titus|
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:17:11 AM
|You can't fix the man * don't even try * . |
You can fix yourself and it be costly.
Or you can fix your self esteem.
I do have a very large scar that runs from hip to hip after having major surgery. Yes it bothers me at times, but there is no fixing it. It is what it is. Nothing I can do about it. I've tried to hide it. I try not to let others see it, but in the end when I am intimate with someone there is NO MISSING IT. If they choose to look at it and run, then what can I do? NOTHING. I let them run. They apparently didn't see what else I had to offer.
With that being said.. I haven't had anyone run yet.
Posted: 2/5/2009 12:37:22 PM
|I would never love a woman for her beauty, But I would see her beauty because I loved her! Like Forrest Gump "thats all I have to say about that!"|
Posted: 2/5/2009 2:15:03 PM
|I gave birth to two beautiful children...........that played he.... with my body. I went from 117 to 206 with the first one. My children's father made fun of my weight all the time, while buying me candy and insisting that I cook a full course at every meal.|
When I left him, I lost the weight in no time.
Then in 1995, I was in a bad car wreck..........took predizone and other medicines that blew me up like a balloon. I gained 70 lbs in three months.
It was in between these two events that I met my late husband. The stretch marks embarrassed me, but he said every man knows that that is just part of being a women that has had children. It was not a biggie to him. He said I was beautiful to him........and I felt like I was.
When I gained all the weight from the accident..........he waited on me through-out all of it. I complained about my weight, my stretch marks. He said I was pleasingly plump. I told him " that will never come out of your mouth again".
He hadn't meant it as a criticism, but to make me feel like it was no big deal. All of our entire relationship and marriage , he always told me " to me, baby, you are the most beautiful woman in the world". If I complained that something didn't look good on me, or I had nothing to wear because of my weight.......... he would say lets go shopping and find you something you like.
Then he would always tell me whatever I had on...I sure made it look good!!
I look back at some of those pictures now and wander how he could possibly " lie" to me like that.
I looked terrible!
Since he died, I have had several occasions to go back thru twenty some years of pictures. Funny, I never noticed that at some times he had a really big tummy, or his neck had a little extra skin. When he was younger, he had very pale blonde hair........it turned to the prettiest silver, and I never even noticed when it became grey and thinner instead.
I looked at him the same way he looked at me. .........thru the eyes of love.
I know he was a bag of skin and bones before he died, but inside he was the strong robust man I had fallen in love with.
Any man or woman that cannot see past a physical imperfection is not worth my time of day.
If they love you, it will be you, not your body that keeps them or drives them away.
You are a beautiful lady. Remind yourself of that.
My daughter has brittle type I diabetes. Thankfully she is getting a beautiful baby boy this month thru adoption, but I know she would not care what childbirth would do to her tummy if she was able to give birth.
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:43:48 AM
|This has some of the most amazing post I have read here...ichi-bon, I really enjoyed yours. As usual, you touched me!|
There are people who can't see past what will get them 'turned on'...these are selfish, shallow people and unfortunately they are too many.
There is so much magic in couples who love deeply despite what society deems as beautiful....society has it wrong.
It is the inside of us, who loves.
Posted: 2/6/2009 12:06:02 PM
|best kept secret: Smartest post so far. All very true yet sadly most don't seem to get it.|
Posted: 2/6/2009 12:26:01 PM
I was in a relationship with a man that once left me because I didn’t feel comfortable running around naked
...he did you a favor. Trust.
I’m not a prude and I am a very sexual being.
Pardon me while I go to check your profile and airfares to wherever you are...
Men only seem to want someone that is perfect and I’m far from it.
Not true, but you might want to do some self examination in regards how YOU are picking the men you associate with if you are finding this common theme.
Mind you, as i was explaining to someone the other day, I am not running a charity. I don't do pity dates. If I don't find you attractive, you get no play, and I don't feel bad about that AT ALL.
But...as I have said many times...while brains and a sense of humor will not make an ugly woman attractive, they can make an average woman VERY sexy. And you dear...age 56?? You are doing a lot better than "average".
Heck, I'd accept your imperfection if you weren't on the other side of an international border and probably concerned about the neighbors whispers of "cradle robbing"....
You hang in there, and get your chin up. And seriously...YOU are the common denominator...so figure out why you keep selecting such shallow men...
Posted: 11/3/2012 1:10:55 PM
I've been living with what I view as a difficult situation for most of my life. I am the mother of twins that together weighed more than 14 lbs. This pregnancy and birth took a toll on my body and, although I view myself to be in good shape for my age, the skin on and around my abdomen never regained its appearance. I would equate it with someone that once gained a tremendous amount of weight and then lost it quickly. The weight is gone but the skin cannot regain its elasticity. The truth be known…it’s downright ugly. I was in a relationship with a man that once left me because I didn’t feel comfortable running around naked. In my opinion I simply looked better with clothes on. I’m not a prude and I am a very sexual being. I just got a raw deal and can’t fix it. Well, I can fix it, but it means paying more than $12,000 to have it cosmetically repaired and taking 4 to 6 weeks off from work. No can do. I just feel like giving up. Men only seem to want someone that is perfect and I’m far from it. My heart desperately wants to love someone, but it needs to be someone that can look past the surface and read my heart and respond to what it is pleading for. Are there men out there that can accept imperfection?
OMG, where to start........ OK honey, your problem is not men, but rather your own self-image. Believe it or not, men are quite the same way, although we don't say much about it. Most people are very self-concious about their looks/bodies. Fact is, we are all less than perfect, and most normal guys have no problem accepting a normal woman. You just need to relax, and start by accepting yourself with all of the good and bad things that make you who you are. Once you become comfortable in your own skin, others will be comfortable with you.
Posted: 11/3/2012 6:34:41 PM
|I totally understand, we all have something about our bodies we feel uncomfortable with. The guy who broke up with you because you didn't want to run around naked was a shallow Ahole! I'm a modest person & would never feel comfortable running around naked. He wasn't the right one for you.|
I understand how surgery is out of the question with the cost & time off from work. The right guy for you is going to like/love you for you. Unless he is perfect with a beautiful model like body & a six pack stomach, he doesn't have the right to judge you. I know you feel self conscience about it, but you're stuck with it for now. Try to deal with it the best that you can, will insurance cover it? Maybe in the future you can save up enough vacation time to be off of work for the procedure. In the mean time, don't give up. I believe there is a nice, understanding guy out there for you. You're very pretty & you'll meet a nice guy who doesn't care about your stomach.
Posted: 11/3/2012 9:15:49 PM
|Who keeps digging these old threads up. 2008? Jeez OP has probably been married and divorced a couple of times since she posted this.|
Posted: 11/3/2012 10:28:25 PM
|You are beautifully imperfect, learn to flaunt it with confidence.|
Posted: 11/3/2012 10:43:29 PM
|I can't speak for the male species, but I'm a face guy. If you sensually kiss my face, I'm sold.|
You met a shallow man. Sorry
Posted: 11/4/2012 4:49:00 PM
|Its the imperfections I like. It makes you who you are. Some men want models but most would be happy with you the way you are. Work on you self esteem and give positive vibes and men will respond to that. There are to many men out there that would love you the way you are. Think positive and it will happen.|