|Body Issues?Page 9 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)|
|I have a 50 year old scar on my left thigh from a third degree burn I received when our house caught fire when I was a child. The men who have been in my life have never said anything bad about it -- ever! Maybe I've just been lucky that way.....|
Posted: 11/9/2012 11:54:47 PM
|This statement: |
Men only seem to want someone that is perfect and I’m far from it.
Doesn't quite allign with this one:
I was in a relationship with a man that once left me because I didn’t feel comfortable running around naked.
First: I seriously doubt the ONLY reason he left was because you weren't an exhibitionist....
Second: he DID accept your imperfection, it was YOU who did not.
Men are not looking for perfect women... okay, maybe some are... but not most of them. You are the only one not accepting your body the way that it is, and your low self image is clearly making them uncomfortable.
You need to realize that if you are constantly bemoaning your bad luck at having recieved this incredible flaw, they look in the mirror and wonder if you are also bothered by every little flaw they have. You need to look past your surface before you start demanding that others do.
Posted: 11/10/2012 3:18:39 AM
|As a guy not really into kids, but wanting to stick his opinion in there anyhow:|
It's up top what I'm looking at. No, not there. I mean the head.
If that's what's up, I'm interested.
stop putting yourself down or thinking pouring your bank account into it will help.
Posted: 11/10/2012 7:13:41 PM
|Everyone goes from the 'skinny dipping' to the 'chunky dunking' stage of life in time. I can relate....|
In all seriousness.... who really looks for 'perfection' in a body as the main reason the like someone? Personality sooooooo trumps raw good looks any day.
The gift a woman gives when she gives the gift of life it the most precious there is. Weak the signs of that gift with pride... any man that isn't astute enough to make that connection isn't work your time.
Posted: 11/10/2012 7:49:51 PM
|maybe u should gain weight....this is why i don't want to lose weight.... having an ugly body, sagging skin....but do what u feel is right for u..|
Posted: 11/10/2012 8:49:08 PM
|There are some men, yes, who want perfection. But there are reasons why they need that perfection (validation, looking for eye candy to impress others, thinking success is all about what's on the outside, etc). Don't find these men and their behaviors attractive, and then...you won't find them in your life.|
become attracted to men who look past the outer shell for what's inside. but guess what? they're going to dress that way...act that way...groom themselves that way. those who will focus less on your appearance...will focus less upon their own, too. and they will have the same legitimate (in their eyes, at least) reasons why they can't or shouldn't change their outer shell.
and that's where the problem lies. in order to get different results, you have to desire different results.
Posted: 11/10/2012 10:30:04 PM
|I dont think that man left you because you would not run around naked. That doesnt make sense. These men who want perfect, are they perfect themselves? No way, especially if they are on dating sites. They are porn brainwashed and may want what they see online but they need to get real about what they can really attract.|
You may have been inhibited sexually with a partner and that may have caused a problem. Often when we gain weight we lose self confidence and it affects our esteem and sexuality. However there are garments that can be worn even when making love and they look sexy and enticing. I would never go naked in front of a man. I like a bit of mystery. A man who really cares for you wont care about that sort of thing. Would you reject a man because he has a bit of spare flesh but has everything else going for him? I know I wouldnt...
Posted: 11/11/2012 7:57:15 AM
I know, but it is thousands of dollars and I am deathly afraid of needles. To the point where if I'm having blood drawn I have to got to do it early in the morning or my whole day will be ruined thinking about it and the week before I will be sick to my stomach. I had 4 kids natural childbirth lol but I can't handle the needle thing.
I may still look into it though.
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:50:43 AM
Yes, I agree, everybody says how having confidence is what really matters. but we also hear that men are "visual creatures" more so than women. So we get contridictory (spelling?) information
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:55:41 AM
|I've been seeing somebody(he likes bigger gals) and all my body issues I have been keeping to myself. lol I'm trying to adopt "FAKE IT TIL YOU FEEL IT" meaning I pretend that I feel beautiful, walking around stark naked and all in front of him. (yeah I know, wayyyyyyy to much info lol) he didnt seem to mind at all. but my issues are always there in the back of my mind. hopefully with time and practice they will diminish.|
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:19:52 PM
|You just need to embrace your changed body.. |
I do not have perfection. But I love my body. A man only notices flaws if you point them out.
My legs have some qualities I dislike.. I have never had a man do anything but compliment them and rub them. I asked my last boyfriend what he thought of those qualities and pointed them out. He just shrugged and told me it doesn't faze him. He loved my long legs. lol There is surgery I can get, but why? Why should i pay 1,000s to "fix" something that will only deteriorate with age anyway? Man will just have to deal with it.
There are some things you can do to reduce the size of your stomach, but getting elasticity back isn't going to happen.
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:31:32 PM
I've been seeing somebody(he likes bigger gals) and all my body issues I have been keeping to myself. lol I'm trying to adopt "FAKE IT TIL YOU FEEL IT" meaning I pretend that I feel beautiful, walking around stark naked and all in front of him. (yeah I know, wayyyyyyy to much info lol) he didnt seem to mind at all. but my issues are always there in the back of my mind. hopefully with time and practice they will diminish.
I give you a standing ovation! (Fears being addressed always deserve a standing O I think.) And? I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I HATE to be naked. HATE it. I live with my spouse and he's never one time seen me completely naked. 20 years ago when we dated it was the same. I have no sagging skin, no stretch marks, no scars, no obvious oddities in shape, size or textures. I'm exceptionally comfortable with my body and how it looks. Why not naked? I'm a tad OCD and I do not like the sensations on my skin when not clothed. Fabrics not usually worn (like furniture) will linger on my bare skin for hours and hours and it's so exceptionally unnerving for me that I simply do not do it. I don't even wear shorts in the summer for this very reason. The really sad thing about the majority of people? They'll tell you that YOU need to change. You need to be comfortable not being comfortable. You need to get over yourself and be naked in front of your man. You are lacking self-esteem if you aren't naked. Naked, naked, naked. PFT!!! Even if I liked being naked I'd totally disagree with that. There's not a damn thing wrong with a man changing his interests in seeing you naked if you aren't 100% comfortable with that. In all of my adult years, through various LTRs, a marriage, a number of sex-included-dating-situations, etc., I never had a man tell me he was disappointed that I'd not roam around naked in front of him. There are so many ways to be sexy, alluring, sensual, etc., and still be covered (body stockings are great, for example) and I think it's really rather pathetic that most people think we should accommodate. If a man judges your "trust" or your this/that/the other based upon whether or not you'll roam around naked in front of him when you don't want to and are "faking it" or pretending it's OK for you? He's not a man I'd want in my life (granted, you may feel differently than I do.) I do completely understand why you're doing what you're doing ~ but I think, no ~ I know for a fact, there are men out there who love us even if we don't cook bacon nude for them. Do what you want to do. If you like the idea and you think it's giving you self-confidence, by all means. Go wild!!!! If it causes you grief at all ~ don't do it. JMO
Posted: 11/12/2012 6:22:59 AM
|If you are having body issues or self confidence issues the answer is simple...... improve your diet and exercise..... |
1st: if all you did was get up in the AM and walk 2 miles before you ate breakfast your metabolic rate will start off higher and taper off throughout the day, instead of starting low.
2nd: PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN, eggs (whites), chicken, if your going to have carbs make sure its wheat bread, veggies. and thats it. This is your new diet
take it from me, I am a PT, I strip for a living and model for a underwear company..... It ticks me off that people would even think about cheating and getting surgery/steroid use.. thats BS!!!!!!! my GF has a kid and her stomach is in retardedly good shape, even after a c section. Do yourself a favor, and put the work and effort forth. That way you will actually keep the results. If your not willing to do what it takes diet and exercise wise to IMPROVE your own SELF-IMAGE, which is directly effecting every relationship you currently have, then you will not get out of this rut.
your going to have a few stretch marks... thats only natural... real mean are ok with a few marks... when the marks have rolls your into a different territory
Posted: 11/12/2012 9:38:55 AM
|Hi when I had twins 27 years ago--they weighed 7lbs 8 ozs each it was horrible the stretchy skin that would not go away. I dieted and dieted nothing worked.. I went to Golds gym and hired a personal trainer--hard work and abundant exercize got rid of the flabby skin..To this day I maintain a pretty much fat free belly. Hope this helps you.|
Posted: 11/12/2012 4:41:53 PM
|most men wont care that your body isnt perfect. you are a beautiful woman. men are just happy to have a naked girl who likes them to look at.|
Posted: 11/12/2012 5:00:20 PM
|@ to message 213|
I'm guessing that your post is directed toward me because the OP is average size. You are so right. I started eating right and exercising in June, I have lost 1 to 1 1/2 pounds every week. Now a total of 36 pounds. See, so never assume that just because someone is LARGE that they are not doing anything to improve themselves. To lose it in a healthy way it takes time.
Posted: 11/13/2012 3:32:00 AM
|i had gastric bypass 5 yrs ago. went from 310lbs down to 125lbs and have kept it off. now if you want to talk hangn saggy skin let me show u mine. my ex thought and still does, that im beautiful no matter what size i am or was. it was me who had to get passed it and finally embrace what the good lord has given me. i met one guy on here who did see it and made a very shallow comment. f*** him and all other haters. look in the mirror and really look at yourself. tell yourself "i love you. you r beautiful" in time switch it to "i love me. i am beautiful" do this evey day every time u look in a mirror. after a while it starts to come tru. you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. and once you do love yourself, people will flock to your sde and feed off that beauty.|
Posted: 12/14/2012 5:47:16 PM
There are also the misconceptions about what our bodies actually are.
This should clear a few things up:
Humans Are Disgusting! Infographic
from Aaron Rogers
Designed and Animated in AE. Music by John Parsons.
Some NSFW language.