Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Paranoid Personality Disorder      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Paranoid Personality DisorderPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
quote]
-- Been burned one time too many for just being a trusting fool, though "they" assured you they weren't "like that" = suspicion without merit (or is it merited?)
-- Same as above, was loyal and trustworthy to a friend or colleague, got burned = now has doubts about anyone's sincerity or ability to be loyal or trustworthy
-- Confided secrets to others, and had those confidences betrayed = reluctant to confide in anyone
-- Had similar "benign" remarks made early on in life that proved very damaging to their sense of being or reputation = reads hidden context into "benign" remarks now
-- Has played the "bigger man/turn the other cheek" card too many times already for naught = now bears grudges for those that insult them for being tired of being the "bigger man"
-- Has had character assaults both directly and indirectly growing up or anywhere in life = perceives the threats as "same ol same ol" from once upon a time though no one else sees it


There is something to what are you saying it, and we shouldn't be paranoid about paranoias.
But I could turn it also the other way around. Yes, that's life, many people can relate to the exact situations like you described, and they are still "normal". The difference is that putting up a wall based on previous experience or reality, is just beeing causcious, whereas PPD Paranoia caused by paranoid personality disorder focuses on the perceived motives and intentions of others.

Anyway, this post is not about defining PPD. It's been already done by others.
And just in a short existence of this thread, there is at least one other poster who also knew someone with this problem.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:01:43 PM

I am lucky that the man I am with is very forthright with me about what he is experiencing, and he stays on top of keeping in close contact with a doctor and following her advice.


Yes, you are lucky that he is aware of his situation and that he does something about it.
Most people with paranoid personality disorder do not recognize their own paranoia as unusual. In fact, many consider themselves well grounded in reality and consider their paranoia to be realistic and objective.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:17:35 PM

I agree with poster who talked about "not making fun of disabilities".
Statements such as "I will never date someone with an illness xyz" is a discriminatory and ignorant one. Let us show some tolerance and maturity around here please, nobody here is 5 years old.


1. Nobody here is making fun of disabilities.
2. Nobody said anything anything about "I will never date someone with an illness xyz"
3. And although nobody here is 5 years old, some seem to behave that way.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:43:22 PM

I have and it SUCKS. Frankly, there are enough fish out there, that I wouldn't date someone with a PPD again.


Yes, it is very difficult, especially if you experience it without knowing what the real problem is. And I imagine, very often it may be masked by other things. Did you discover what it was during the relationship or after?
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:50:38 PM

I swear my bf is like that! and it just doesnt seem to get better

I think, the most difficult thing is not knowing what's happening (both for the person with PPD and also, for the partner). Once you recognize (and confirm) the symptoms, it might be possible to address or work around this behaviour, and in some cases, as pointed out by aliveone1, it can be treated.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 12/22/2008 3:03:13 AM

A few things I would like to say, I think there are a lot of people who are being treated for a mental illness who do not actually have one. Lets face it, almost everyone is on anti-depressants and similar medications. It seems to me that a lot of people are not dealing with their own issues and it is too easy to get a pill. It is not an exact science and many psychiatrists will all give a different opinion as to what a patient is suffering from and many mental illnesses overlap each other and show the same symptoms.


This is very true, and I couldn't agree more with you. Recently, I heard one doctor to state that 80% of people are taking some medications. Personally, I feel very lucky, that so far, I managed to live my life without any pills.


But having a physical illness we cannot make fun of. We should not be making fun of any and unless we have been in the shoes of someone suffering from mental illness then we should not crack a joke that someone is crazy etc and to use that as an excuse for behavior we do not understand.


I don't think anybody makes fun of people having physical or mental illness. And yes, unless you were close to someone with mental illness, you can't understand such person or how to deal with him/her.

I beg to differ that today we can't draw some conclusions from close observations and readily accessible information on Internet. Yes, it could be dangerous by a layman to misdiagnose a person, but unfortunately, that happens many times even to experienced doctors. Why do we sometimes resort to second opinions? In my immediate personal life (myself, my family, and some close friends), I know of at least half a dozen of misdiagnoses by trained professionals, and in one case it was their incompetency and complacency in failing to diagnose a cancerous breast tumor. It was the patient herself who later detected growing of the lump, and unfortunately, before the next doctor could look at it, the cancer spread to the lymphs. So in these times, especially when many people don't even have access or means to see medical clinic, to rely blindly on the doctors, is naive and unrealistic.
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 12/22/2008 12:12:35 PM
Yeah, it definately is very difficult. My father and an older brother of mine also have similar problems; Bipolar with symptoms of psychosis and paranoia. I'm sure that's why I am so accustomed to the whole thing, and why I chose to study Clinical Psychology in college. After a lifetime of dealing with people with these problems, it has become my normalcy. My boyfriend who has Paranoid Schizophrenia is not seen as an outsider in our family; he's just like everyone else! Our family has been navigating severe mental health issues for over thirty years. In the beginning, it was aweful! We were uninformed, we had no understanding of what was happening to the people we loved and why they were acting the way they were. We didn't know that it was possible for them to ever get better again with treatment!

What imsophie1 described: that her ex started getting better once he started taking meds, but then as soon as he felt better, he stopped taking them... that is VERY, VERY common!. I can't tell you how many times, I had to watch the people I loved get better, and then fall apart all over again. It's aweful! Some people have to go through it several times before they ever realize that they will probably have to keep up with treatment for the rest of their lives.

Now, I don't want to make generalizations about the treament for every mental health problem. I am most familiar with Bipolar Disorder, and Schizophrenia. The original posted question was about Paranoid Personality Disorder. I don't know as much about Personality Disorders or their treatment. I have heard, however that personality disorders are more resistant to treatment , and that it is less likely that you will ever be able to convince someone with a personality disorder that they in fact have a diagnosed problem that needs treatment. Anyone else know more?
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 14
view profile
History
PPD
Posted: 12/27/2008 8:37:51 PM
Happinessnlove - Post 30

>>> Partners of those with PPD and other disorders, don't originally know about this well hidden trait, but often find themselves involved with them, before it surfaces. The relationships begin well and the "appearance" of PPD is very subtle.
It is usually in hindsight that one recognizes the signs that were there, and perhaps wanted to believe that they can get better...which in fact, they can...if only the person afflicted seeks medical help, and remains on the medication. Unfortunately, this is rare.

Very well said. It can take years, before all the PPD symptoms come to surface or are recognized..


imsophie1 - Post 25

>>> My ex developed PPD symptoms after his first head injury in 1989. During the following years, he survived 4 additional head injuries. The symptoms only got worse.

In my experience, I can also attest that a bodily accident or emotional stress (could be a coincidence), accentuates the PPD symptoms.


>>> I am now more beaten down emotionally after 17 years of riding that rollercoaster.

Rollercaster is a fitting analogy, because in the initial stages the PPD symptoms ebb and flow, which makes it even more difficult to recognize what you are dealing with.

forallintents - Post 26

>>>I went through a period where I diagnosed my ex for disorders that could explain why she acted in a hostile and unreasonable manner. I found an abundance of disorders that had matching symptoms. Then I noticed that her behavioral problem magically recovered after our relationship ended. I am still not sure what was behind that strange coincidence.

I'm not sure, how this poster meant it. If he was serious, the possible explanation is that a stressful situation clouds the judgment and makes the symptoms worse. That has been my observation. And the disappearance of this behaviour could be related to the fact, that the hostility target (in this case, the OP himself), was removed as the main stress point. She may now operate again semi-normally, until a new episode, with a fresh target for hostility and suspicion, resurfaces.


Based on just a few reported cases in this thread, perhaps this disorder is not so common as the medical sources quote. If not that, many cases go unrecognized (or even worse, are misdiagnosed) - and that would be even more true in shorter relationships.
 hunter4388
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 15
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:39:58 AM
After reading this I looked up PPD on wikipedia and everything it said sounds just like me... I barely have any friends, and the few who I've associated with I feel as if are trying to embarass me and attack me mentally... never had a "deep conversation" with anyone regarding my problems because it would be like feeding their egoes by sharing my feelings. I scan what people say to me and take it like a shotgun to my chest if anyone makes a comment to any extent regarding my personality/behavior flaws, family included... worst of all I feel as if all these behaviors are justified through validation of experience. I'm fairly certain I have this... it does suck, and is very real be it a disease or personality type.
 HorseyHay
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 16
PPD
Posted: 4/12/2011 12:21:45 PM
I've ended a relationship that had admitted PPD as a major cause for the failure. We did go to counseling and it is a very had path to follow. If one does get into a relationship with this disorder it is paramount that counseling be a part of it. The partner has to want to 'cure' them selves and has to take steps that will actively decrease their sensitivity. The partner has to be very firm on stopping accusations and actions that may increase sensitivity.

In my ex GF's case there was a family history, substance abuse in the past and injury along with failure to remedy the cause of the injury in a meaningful manner in her marriage. She was subject to a marriage that had verbal hostility, was boring, over twenty years and left only after a platonic ('virtual' as she described) relationship. After that she had short relationships that she found real fault with, thus amplifying her condition. There where physical conditions that also where playing into her condition, of being hyperthyroid, treated, but she sought 'better' medication for her thyroid replacement and still exhibited a hyper condition, as physically being under weight and prone to insomnia, although she felt that this was her normal state. Her conditions for a relationship where quite black and white and her use of negative terms as 'kick you to the curb and toxic relationship' developed as the relationship intensified. Another idiom was that trust had to be earned, but there was no room for error. Error perceived was not forgot and forgiven, but even after that she would still hang on. When confronted with what would earn the trust, her answer was only time and that was rather abstract at best In therapy she would go on the attack and when asked to back off she wouldn't until well out the door with a 'we'll see' clause always attached. I felt that I was constructing a cage to be in so that I could continue having a relationship and could feel resentment building up within. I guess this was the emotion that was needed to end the relationship.
I could say that the relationship had potential for being successful, but I wasn't in the proper situation to execute what was needed and that therapy should have been entered into earlier and should have been more intense. She needed more resolve and needed to confront some of her personal family relationships that she had developed rejection barriers for and a softening of her perceptions of those that where once close to her as being more normal and part of the greater social order that was out there. I am writing this partly for her, as it may be the only way that she may see hope for her future as I believe that she may be able to quell most of her manifestations to a reasonable level.

PPD is described as one of the most devastating disorders to relationships and has quite a range of intensity. .2 to 5% of society manifests degrees of this with men being predominate. Read up on this as only intense therapy willfully entered into can quell the manifestations. Some clinical studies have demonstrated that later in life that it can subside.
 Wyatt Earp1
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 17
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 4/12/2011 1:06:53 PM
I was about to answer this but...someone's knocking at my door "who's there!?"
blam blam blam! {sounds of gunshots being heard...} Uhm what were we talking about? Who the f*ck is standing behind me...huh? ;D
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Posted: 4/12/2011 6:27:31 PM

I was married to someone with this disorder and I am not mocking anyone when I say that this is a very hard disorder to deal with especially when the person who has it will not accept the fact that there is something wrong with them.

They go through life feeling as if the world is against them...they are always never at fault for their problems , it is always someone else that has done them wrong....take everything a person says out of context and twists it to fit their deranged way of thinking.


That's the same experience I went through. The biggest problem I had is my ex became very mean spirited and always felt a need to retaliate against people who were plotting against her (in her twisted mind). She did some pretty crazy and nasty sh1t to get back at people who did nothing wrong. Also, you can't use reasoning with a crazy person. I tried explaining to her that what she was doing wasn't right and there's no plot against her, but it fell on deaf ears.

The opening post mentioned "They often become involved in legal disputes." My ex ended up taking her brother to court over something totally ridiculous (long story), then came after me with both barrel's blazing when she left me and it cost a fortune in legal fees. In both legal cases, she didn't care what the cost was-money was no object.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Paranoid Personality Disorder