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 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 67
50+ PartnersPage 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Were you just dating or were you in a relationship with them? Were they just escorts or were they in fact prostitutes-there is a difference.

I've never made the distinction between dating and a relationship. For some reason, everyone I've dated ends up being a girlfriend from the start. There also is no difference between an escort and a prostitute. If you think there is, you're being naive. The closest thing you could call a distinction in different prostitutes would be streetwalkers, mid range escorts and high end escorts (1000.00/hr and up)


We all have urges and just as with everything else in life, there are possible consequences for acting on them.

So far, my urges, as you put it, haven't resulted in any of those consequences nor have my urges caused me to get married and divorced or have kids who have to be shuffled between parents. Just because I don't denigrate people who have lots of partners doesn't imply anything about me other than I'm not an elitest or a hypocrite.
 wisguyingb
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 68
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/2/2009 4:01:03 AM
They have a 5 letter word that starts with a "W" for gals like her. Oh there is also a 4 letter "S" word as well.
 PainsAGateway
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 69
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/2/2009 3:05:20 PM
I think she should keep her mouth shut, no matter how BAD he wants to know...it's none of his business. Honestly, there is really NOTHING good that can come from this. Regardless of how many she has had...there will ALWAYS be something wrong with the number.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 70
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/2/2009 3:11:29 PM

Abelian....Perhaps I should have read your profile first. Of course someone looking just for sex on here is going to have a different thought process than most/some of the rest of us. Just because you may not have suffered consequences yet, does not mean that further down the road you will not.

Actually, I'd prefer more than that and considerably more is available for a woman who doesn't expect me to be financially responsible for anyone but myself. However, since the majority of women include things like ``well-established,'' and other euphemisms for financial interests that are none of their concern, I set my expectations considerably lower just to ensure no one thought I was kidding when I said I'd be willing to live in my office if necessary. A secure, self-confident woman who is satisfied to take care of her own finances and let me worry about mine, can pretty much have whatever sort of relationship she wants. I'm just being realistic.

I also accept the consequences for whatever I do and live without regret. At least I'll die knowing that I actually experienced life. If someone writes me off for having done any of those things, I'm better off.


But yeah, it would by hypocritcal of someone who is looking for sex on the internet to hold their number of partners against them.

I'm not sure why you and a few others seem to get mixrd up with regard to what I'm criticizing. I think it's perfectly fine for someone to use whatever criteria they feel is appropriate in selecting a partner. I have an issue with those who conflate having a large number of partners with a lack of integrity, lack of character, and any number of other character defects which have nothing to do with how many partners a person has. Misanthropy and closed mindedness are far worse than having sex with any number of partners. Anyone who does that lacks a lot of qualities that I would care about which are more important than how many guys she's slept with. I've also noticed that women usually resort to the ``it's no one's business'' argument to avoid having to actually tell anyone what their numbers are. Had the woman in the original post just refused to say anything or lied about it, most everyone would have stuck up for her (although that doesn't alter reality at all.)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 71
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/2/2009 5:39:15 PM
[quote[ The opposite then comes to mind... if none of those 'character defects' are the reason, then what is...?
What character defect causes someone to like snow skiing? If it's not a character defect, what is the reason?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 72
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/3/2009 1:19:08 AM

No matter what, I have LOVE in my life. What the hell do you have? Hookers? Whoopty-f u c k i n g - doo. You have NOTHING I can't have, so come down off your high horse. But you aren't a narcissist at all, are you?

Thank you for proving my point - in more ways than one, actually.
 JIMMY927
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 73
view profile
History
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/3/2009 2:15:59 AM
I. Thou shalt get out before the sun rises
II. Thou shouldest never ask "can we see each other from now on?"
III. Thou shalt refrain from referring to our activities as "love making."
V. Thou shalt kiss anything except my mouth.
VI. Thou shalt scream my name often
VIII. Thou shalt not ask me to walk thee to thy car. Don't thou knoweth what it looketh like?
IX. There shall be no "pillow talk."
X. There shall be no cuddling -- ever!

Somewhere in this thread is a booty call?
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 74
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/3/2009 6:42:36 AM
I have to agree wtih ISSGOD - A person's past is that -their past. We've all done stupid things. However, if some man had dipped his wick in 50 partners by mid 20's I would be in a clinic somewhere being tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea, AIDS, HIV and hepatitis in a NY minute!!!!

A young person with that many partners shows lack of self-esteem, morals, values, someone who has no idea what she wants. Maybe confusing the word love with lust - thinks if a man has sex with you he loves you? That is not the case for anybody, male or female! This kind of person needs a therapist before another bed buddy IMO.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 75
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:59:09 AM
Assuming he should just "accept" her numbers because he's a guy is also wrong. If his morals are different than hers, then why should he?????

He shouldn't. That isn't the issue. The issue is the load of crap pop-psychology used to attribute all sorts of character defects to her as a way to justify his preferences as her fault. His preference for a partner with low numbers is not an excuse to trash her.
It' not a case of being "insecure" or a double standard... it's simply, that the guy may have a different outlook than her...

Given the tortured logic used to trash her for his preferences, I'm sure it is the case with most of those who are inventing reasons to justify making it her problem instead of his problem. I'm also sure there are men who can express their preference without trashing someone who doesn't fit his preferences. Those men just happend to be in short supply.

In any case, a half-century ago, this same argument would have surfaced if the number was 1 other partner, havng a child out of wedlock or getting divorced. Either everyone here has low self-esteem and other psychological disorders as a result of doing one or more of those things, or the psychological issues are caused by what arbitrary definition of ``slut'' happens to be in vogue at the time.

Personally, I think that with few exceptions (and you are not one of the exceptions by a long shot), it boils down to a man with an ego that can't survive being seen with a woman who someone would be considered a slut according to his so-called friends. I'd feel like a real luser if I didn't have the backbone to stand up for someone I'm dating and not be intimidated by what some small minded idiots think.


My own G/F has issues... She has a had a lot of partners... I could live with that, in of itself...in fact, I do.... the bigger problems are the issues both resulting from it, and causative of it...

And the fact that you martyr yourself to tolerate her indiscretions are probably the biggest contributing factor. If she had a partner who wasn't intimidated by being seen with her in a public place, her self esteem would probably improve.



 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 76
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:29:05 PM
I get it...


The problem is that you don't get it and you continue to make that evident in your replies. Incuubus gets it, so maybe you can read what he wrote and ignore me.

 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 77
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/20/2009 8:08:18 AM
why would anyone ask such a question in the first place?

Because I want to know a woman isn't afraid to tell me something she thinks I might not want to hear. I want nothing to do with a woman who takes it upon herself to decide what I need to know. I'd rather be with a woman who has had hundreds of partners and tells me than a woman who has had only a few and tells me it's none of my business. Being open and honest is what matters.

.........a woman's sex quota must not exceed her current partners...?

I've dated women whose partner count easily exceeded mine by a factor of 10, so that wouldn't apply to me. If you have a problem telling your partner how many guys you've slept with, date guys who are more secure so you can be open and honest.

What I find really funny are those people who wouldn't date a person who's had hundreds of partners but who also do not think it's appropriate to ask the question. WTF? It's like thinking that by burying one's head in the sand, reality changes.

I cringe a little if I am on a date with someone (especially someone I really like) and they pop this infernal question. At that point I'm just thinking: 'Oh god, why does this matter to her? I mean she knows I'm single and here with her right now, and hell she didn't know I even existed before 2 weeks ago.'

Well, that question might seem a little awkward on a first or second date, but if asked, I think I would ask her if she wanted the number that I think is correct or a complete list of names to make sure I didn't leave anyone out (I've never been married and 25+ years of dating makes it easy to miss 1 or 2 without stopping and thinking about it)
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 78
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/20/2009 10:27:01 AM
I wouyld think if she admitted to 50 previous partners then her real number would be atleast 75, probably 100+.

But it goes back to donb't ask questions in which you can't handle a honest answer.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 79
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/20/2009 10:47:49 AM
i woudn't ask this off my partner, and it's not because i choose to live in ignorance, it's because i choose not know...

Choosing to not know something IS living in ignorance of it.


i honestly don't know the purpose for wanting to know those statistics. people ask? why?

I already said why. I'm also naturally curious and I might ask all sorts of questions that people with no curiosity would never think to ask. The worst thing anyone can do is to lie to me because of some preconception regarding me making some judgment based on the answer. I see lots of things in the abstract. They just are facts and facts have no morality.
 ByronHayes
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 80
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/20/2009 10:56:29 AM
You can find statistics will show that women by age 25 have had 30% - 50% more sexual partners than men of the same age. And during this time are twice more likely to cheat on their significant other. The reason... simply because they have more opportunity then most men.
Therefore, it shouldn't be a hell of a surprise.
BH
 Bored_Lurker
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 81
view profile
History
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/20/2009 11:17:09 AM
Well i would say that depending on the guy ya he might break up with her. Then again theres always the possibility he has also been with 50+ partners. From my own experience i dont think it would bother someone as long as they themselves had a similar background.
 Avalon1012
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 82
view profile
History
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/20/2009 5:48:31 PM
She 27 and she dating a guy for 3 years
And just because he turn 50+ years old
They can date any more..
Oh wait a minute … NEVER MIND
SNL..... To young went over your head?

Maybe this SONG will answer your question
**************
If I had it my way
This would be the first time that you made love
I’d be the first man that your hands touch
We both done our share of live’in
Taking chances we were given
I’ve never been big on looking back
I don’t care if I’m your first love
But I’d love to be your…. LAST

If I could do it over.
I’d of waited for this moment
To give my heart to you unbroken
But if our mistakes brought us together
Doesn’t really mater where
We were Saint or Sinners in the past
I don’t care if I’m your first love
But I’d love to be your…. LAST

All I know is what I see, when I look at you
And all I see, is what I feel down inside
And all I feel is this I finally got it right

When I wake up tomorrow
I am gonna throw my arm around you
Thank my lucky stars I … Found you
I know your heart had ..So much more than
Any man had touched before hand
Nothing maters more to me than that

I don’t care if I’m your first love
But I’d love to be your…. LAST
***************************


I placed it on my POF profile music playlist

It’s untitled..

Look for #1 Track 11
 RobeAndWizardHat
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 83
view profile
History
50+ Partners
Posted: 2/20/2009 9:33:55 PM
Ye gods, 50! Sure, it's quite intimidating and a little bit scary, but consider! After all she's been through, she's got to be packing a massive book of tricks.
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