Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 1
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
They've finally comfirmed something I've suspected for a while...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7784366.stm

And the deletion count-down starts NOW....

10-9-8-7-6.....





 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 2
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/23/2008 5:41:35 PM

It's an optimistic message, and I don't think that's a totally bad thing.


Optimism is a good thing, but the belief that romantic comedies reflect life rather than fantasy is pretty goofy.

 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 3
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/23/2008 5:48:43 PM
Alot of people want the kind of romance and what not that they see in the movies or on tv. But as much as you want that, you got to realize in movies and tv their acting.

If want that kind of stuff then well hopefully you know the right places to look for them.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 4
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:15:23 PM

I thought they called them "chick movies" and only ruined your evening. You learn something new everyday.


Yeah, Chick-Flicks.

I haven't watched one forever.

Now, my sons and I only watch guy movies. If the windows don't rattle, nothing esssssplodes, and things don't fall off the shelves, it's either a shitty movie or it ain't turned up enough...

 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 5
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/23/2008 9:19:58 PM
Huh, I always thought it was porn that ruined my love life (I don't own red pumps; and if I did, they'd fit me properly; and I would take them off before screwing the pizza man; oh, and there' s that "Heyyyyy, wait, yours is like the real thing, only smaller" moment).

Pretty Woman IS vomit.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/23/2008 10:55:13 PM
I like movies, I don't know why I'd think I should have a life that mirrored a movie, not like I watch action flicks and think I can walk through bullets, how dumb can you be to think a movie has a thing to do with real life? That's why they call it entertainment.
 leebossa
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 7
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:46:46 PM
i find most ROMcoms to be contrived, sappy and phony. once in a while there will be one that actually makes me laugh, but not the conventional Julia Roberts type.

Anyone who expects their lives to be like a romantic comedy deserves whatever misery falls on their heads....I feel for the poor shnooks forced to watch those things on Xmas eve!
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 8
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:48:05 PM
Sorry I find researching topics tedious. Either put the information on here for us all to read or skip it.

Jeez.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 9
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:49:36 PM
I just view them as fantasies....very far fetched ones!
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 10
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:51:26 PM

I didnt think comedy movies would really effect ppl .


Tell that to all the nitwits running around Manhattan who think Sex and the City is just like them and penned after their lives. Every girl thinks she is the horse faced Carrie.
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:55:45 PM
"We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds."

Screwtape coached Wormwood about this decades ago.
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:58:45 PM
I tried to find it for you on YouTube -- Craig Ferguson said that what "Atonement" needed was simple -- skeletons on fire. And he had his crew do some FX to spice it up a bit. You'd have loved it.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 13
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 2:48:12 PM

Jeez.




.... sorry, I didn't mean to ruin anyone's fora experience....



 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 14
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 2:57:37 PM
^^^ I agree, though I find it interesting that many have pointed out the flaws of the study, yet many people, here and IRL, point out the influence of the media on other negative behaviour.....

... I started this thread as a tongue-in-cheek bit of fun.... let's not get too serious...

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 15
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 3:04:39 PM

You mean some cowboy named Bruce isn't going to admit to me that he's gay, and tell me he thinks he's falling in love with me when I go for my trip to Brokeback Mountain??





Brucey may not hit on ya, but if you wear those sexy leather chaps with your ass cheeks hangin out, you're bound to attract some attention from SOME guy...



 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 3:10:04 PM
I've had a few romances that came close.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 3:12:05 PM

They found fans of films such as Runaway Bride and Notting Hill often fail to communicate with their partner.
Duh! Non-fans of such films, like people who only like action films, often fail to communicate with their partner.

Many held the view if someone is meant to be with you, then they should know what you want without you telling them.
Duh! Try watching anything from the 80s, and the 70s, and it's practically a given that women think that way. What is more, you can find that attitude in lots of older women, who were already married by the time these films came around.

The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it.
They are NOT complaining about the relationship. They are complaining about SEX, and about COMMUNICATION.

What you DO find, is that it is very consistent to find that most people believe they are good communicators, when by the standards set down in books from the late 70s and before, 99% of us are appalling communicators.

What is more, most people seem to expect good sex, as if you can guarantee that 99% of the world will be good at sex, just because you want them to.

THAT'S UNREALISTIC.

You CAN see that from most modern films, because in most modern films, everyone says exactly what you want to hear, and the sex is always perfect.

No-one on TV or in films EVER says the sex was rubbish, unless it was with a perfect stranger, and a teen's first time on TV is ALWAYS great. Nothing like real life.

What is more, all the kids and the teenagers talk like they are in their mid-20s, and their parents always seem to pay attention to EVERYTHING they say. Nothing AT ALL like real life.

Sure, I'll agree that much of TV is unrealistic, like how you can shoot tons of bullets at the hero in an action movie, and he never gets shot once, or even gets seriously wounded by shrapnel, and how he always can improvise comic one-liners that would take a professional comedian weeks to come up with. Then he ALWAYS gets the girl. Come on, how many soldiers who fought in Iraq, and killed loads of terrorists, "got the girl"?

But the unrealistic expectations in ALL programmes on TV and films, are the ones that affect people the most to believe in unrealistic expectations in life.

Just look at the sitcoms. King of Queens: How many guys do you know, who are as obese as the guy, who are a delivery guy, and who have the same lack of confidence, marry a cute girl. How comes in the Simpsons, Homer is a fat blob, with NO luck with the women, and he scores a smart thin woman like Marge?

At least in Romantic Comedies, the people are roughly the same level of attractiveness, roughly the same age, roughly similar interests and views, and find it very, very hard to connect, usually dating all sorts of people they are unsuited to, but think they are suited to, along the way.

TV might ruin your life. But it's not Rom-Coms, or not Rom-Coms alone. It's action films, it's sitcoms, it's teen dramas, it's probably 90% of TV. But you cannot pin it on "chick flicks".

I remember in that movie love actualy there was that writer and the women who came and cleaned up at his house in a different country. She didn't speak any english and he didn't speak what ever she spoke but they got married in the movie.
Bizarrely enough, back in 1992, I KNEW someone who got married to someone who only spoke Hebrew, and he only spoke English. I asked him how it was possible. He just shrugged his shoulders and said "we communicate". That was about 9 years BEFORE that film came out.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 18
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 12/24/2008 3:32:14 PM

I guess I'm one of those foolish people the study talks about.


Yeah, I USED to be like that. Now, I don't even believe 'love' between women and men exists. It's all too relative and capricious for me.

Happily ever after?

I would love to see Prince Charming and Cindarella 15 years later....

... he's lugging a great big beer belly, with a red, bulbous nose from drinking too much, rippin' the couch apart lookin' for the remote while she's wobbling around scratchin' her ass that's now a couple of ax handles wide, screeching at the Prince to go fix the fvcking shitter.....

 Randominternetguy
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:21:20 AM
One thing I find left OUT of the in articles about this study (such as in Post 1) is the effects on adolescents, since it has been demonstrated that older viewers are more aware of the exaggerations in these movies. But other research shows adolescents are very likely to see movies as an example of how relationships "should" be, since they typically have little life experience to tell them otherwise. This study was an initial study to first just determine what content is in movies as part of a larger project to understand the effects on adolescents.

If you want to read a draft of the actual study, instead of the spin various media outlets are giving it, go to

http://www.attachmentresearch.org./publications2.html

and click on the link by the discription "Contradictory messages: A content analysis of Hollywood-produced romantic comedy feature films. Communication Quarterly."

From Page 1 of that report


With the media such a prominent part of today’s society it is little wonder that it has become a resource on how the world works. Adolescents, particularly impressionable as they attempt to make sense of themselves and others around them, often look to the media (e.g. Bachen & Illouz, 1996; Brown, 2002; Signorielli, 1997) for issues increasing in importance such as those of romantic and sexual relationships (e.g. Arnett, 2000; Furnham & Simon, 1999). However, interpreting media representations of these issues as being an accurate reflection of reality may have serious implications for adolescents’ perceptions of the world. Films and television programmes typically rely on exaggerated and unrealistic portrayals of romantic and sexual relationships to appeal to their audiences (e.g. Committee on Public Health, 2001; Jowett & Linton, 1980; Ward & Rivadeneyra, 1999) and whilst older and more experienced viewers can generally recognise this (Illouz, 1998), younger viewers with few of their own experiences to compare against may come to view these representations as cultural norms and form unrealistic relationship beliefs and expectations accordingly. If adolescents are indeed looking to the media’s exaggerated and unrealistic portrayals to gain insight into what to expect in their own relationships, research must determine what specifically they are being exposed to. Research on romance media content thus far, however, is severely lacking. The present study therefore sought to address this gap by analysing the romantic content of a sample of romantic comedy feature films. Furthermore, a coding system of the romantic themes identified during analysis was created and interrater reliability established.
 Randominternetguy
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:42:25 AM
My view is the purpose of movies is to make money, not be accurate. To be entertaining, not be a model of life. Any relation to reality is purely incidental, and will be the first thing to go in favor of better storytelling.

On a less technical note, I've felt if you want a relationship like you see in the movies, then make sure your partner has the latest copy of the script and has agreed to follow it. And anything that happens off camera doesn't count. :D

Bob
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:35:21 AM
when in a relationship "it is the one who loves the least that holds the power"....is not a true statement right?...

It's not exactly a new idea, though the way I heard it way back when was this:
The person who gives the least controls the relationship.

It's only a model of reality, and a questionable one at that, not necessarily The Truth.
In a worst case scenario, both people give less and less trying to get more and more control, until you reach a point where there's no relationship going on at all. Game Theory abounds in such examples.

VVVVVV - "Pretty Woman"... Who knew it was so much fun and so glamorous being a hooker, all while making about a million a year (roughly her 24 hr rate times 365) and getting to bang Richard Gere?
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:35:37 AM
At one time we sat around a fire and listened to stories that reflected our tribal mythology. They both guided behavior as well as reflected it. Mainly they did the former. Films, books, T.V. and games both reflect and create today's fantasies. It is nigh on impossible to know which came first, but you can bet the entertainment industry churns out whatever pays. Did our love affair with guns and fast cars create the need for entertainment that involved these elements?

Love is in short supply these days, in a large part to the constant sorting out of man and woman's roles in a fast-changing society. The men seek a heroic, black&white solution to the complexities of the world and to,
"win," women. Women love to see the hurdles to a relationship overcome and true love to triumph. Or so the observer concludes.

As long as we know where entertainment ends and reality begins we won't try to bend the world to suit our fantasies. Tom Cruise isn't bullet-proof, Pretty Woman is about the saddest, least romantic of professions, prostitution. They're all children's stories for adults.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 23
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:15:55 PM
I adore studies like this.

These are the same type of idiots that want us to believe that country music causes alcoholism, Heavy Metal will make you homocidal/suicidal, Harry Potter promotes satanism, and the Teletubbies will turn your children gay!

These losers already have unrealsitic expectations, that's why they are fans of these movies. It's not the movies creating the situation. Their merely commenting on it, for profit.

It's called ENTERTAINMENT people!
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....
Posted: 5/2/2009 3:39:20 PM
Romantic comedies encapsulate one glimmer in the eye of a total relationship, but does that mean that we shouldn't strive for SOME moments of fairy-tale romance in our love lives? I don't think so. Life doesn't have to be all callous and hard-core. Those tender, magical moments are what make life worth living-!
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Romantic Comedies Ruin Your Love Life....