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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I don't think much of people who do this      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Easy Read
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 26
I don't think much of people who do thisPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
OP, I am trying to find the point or intent behind your thread. Did some one ask you if you thought much of people who have mental disorders? Did you just feel the need to let POF community know that YOU dont like "mental cases"? I read your profile and thread. You are much like Tom Cruise and his self-aggrandized perceptions of something he understands nothing of. I am unsure you have an operational definition of Mental Illness (too late to look it up now). Do I need to point out the obvious? Headline News: "22 yr old Piano teacher with some college, and cant find a date b.c he finds them boring, has finally made sense of the stentorian complexities of mental illnesses." Lets here what he has to say, "It is quackery". Wow, on behalf of the POF community I want to thank you for that...

There is so much and so many things wrong with this thread that I feel overwhelmed. Im not saying that dating some one who is in the bowels of an active disease is appealing to me. BUT, Ill say that there are periods in lives where Mental Illness is more common than not. Mental Illness is on a continuum and the continuum is on continuums. Your thought processes on this are so uninformed and simplistic that it occurs to me that you either are deliberately antagonizing or you are so uneducated and Narcissistic that that denial and ignorance has blinded you.

Bottom line, I think, is this: I imagine it is possible that you had an idea for a thread expressing concerns about dating people who are so involved in their own chaos that they can not give in a relationship but your manner of expression and choice of words and sentence formation make you sound like a real prick. Maybe you are empathic, as you stated, but re-read your profile. All you do is push people away, judge and exclude them b.c YOU dont think much of them.
 Tammy the cat
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 27
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:31:27 AM
The people who have been exposed to living with partners with mental disorders,do an can have the knowledge to answer this.There are many forms of mental illness,all vary an everyone 'suffering from' has a different case senario.To tag everyone together an say they are all to hard is very unfair.Very generalised description.This is like saying a particular religious group is no good cause of a few hard liners or extremists/no reference made to any particular religion type either.Every person suffering from 'whatever ' is at a different stage an has unique circumstances that lead to the problem.In other words,how for instance 'I' am now,is totally different from how 'I' was 10 years ago,suffering from the same mental illness.Now i could be at a totally different stage/still suffering,on meds but a lot better/stabler etc...All depends on what it is,personality type-recognise an try help themselves ,individual circumstances.There are still a lot of people out there with undiagnosed mental disorders also.Understanding what the mental disorder is in the first place,symptoms ,treatments availble,specialist advice on how to manage it or things,love an caring attitude//in for the good times as well as hard times.Everyone has a choice an should still be respected for their choice.Not evryone wants to join the army,be prison officier,street cleaner,not evryone can handle living with these conditions.Takes a very strong person indeed.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 28
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:55:16 AM
I am of the mindset that - if the person has a mental disorder - it would be 'okay' if

1) they acknowledge it and accept it AND
2) they TRY to do something about it (e.g. meds, therapy, etc..)

I firmly believe that if you do those things then you are better off than 99% of the people out there in the real world.

If you do neither of these two things - then you have what I call 'baggage'.

We all have 'issues'. It is the ones that go 'unchecked' that are the problems. Whether it is emotional or otherwise matters little.

The thing that I do not understand is - how old does someone have to get before they realize that by not acknowledging their issue or doing something about it - that they will forever continue the path that they have been on.

If someone refuses to do something about their 'issues' then what can they expect from someone else that they bring into the mix via a relationship???? Deal with the emotional (maybe physical) fallout???

If you refuse to deal with your issues - don't expect someone else to.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 29
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 4:18:08 AM
I would just like to open my mailbox and read a coherent message instead of that horrid IM speak.

We'll get to the mental illnesses later.
 dysfunction_junction
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 30
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 4:35:40 AM
"I won't date people who have been diagnosed with mental disorders"
I mean honestly, I see if someone doesn't want emotional baggage, but that's a totally different thing. Mental disorders are just labels assigned by some wackjob pseudo-doctor based often based on cursory judgments

i'm curious; do you have a mental disorder but can't get no love? or is it that you personally have zero experience and knowledge related to what you're actually talking about? i think it must be the latter, otherwise you would never have committed such words to the plasma screen. because the reality surrounding your preposterous and aggravating generalizations is profoundly different than your assumptions which are very broad, but about as thin and useful as toilet paper. i won't even bother explaining. you're a genius; you figure it out.
 vrb1955
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 31
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 4:47:24 AM
"I won't date people who have been diagnosed with mental disorders"

Gee they must stay home

ALOT

Raise your hand if you are stressed?


Raise your hand if you suffer from PMS or menopause?
Raise your hand if you have kids age 11-19?
Raise your hand if you work for a boss that is a complete A**H***?
Raise your hand if you have more bills than money at the end of the week?
Raise your hand if you are the caregiver of an elderly parent?
Raise your hand if you can't perform sexually?

All forms of stress that can be managed either my diet , exercise or a little medication?

Don't you just love those who live perfect lives and sit in judgment of others?

Before I forget I saw a bumper sticker yesterday: "Hell was full so they sent me back here! "
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 32
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 4:55:00 AM
Some profiles actually say that if you take medication, they will not date you.
According to this thinking, then everyone in the broken hearts forum should not date.

That is okay, because it just identifies those people as snobby a**wholes......which is someone I refuse to date.

vrb1955....love ya!
 Tammy the cat
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 33
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:07:22 AM
stevelfun//sorry but not everyone ,no matter the age,can actually recognise they actually have a problem in the first place.Some people are just out of it to the point that reality ceases to be real.They go through the motion of living life daily,but,their reality is make believe,a place to hide where they actually feel safe.The real reality of life,actually going on around them ,due to a set of unique circumstances is so horrendous,there is no way on this earth that they actually know how to deal with it in the first place.Only after one condition changes, do they see the light, they start to venture out to seek help in the first place.I know what i am talking about here,for this was me,at a certain point in my life.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 34
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:07:22 AM
By the way, one person on this thread who answered disaprovingly on dating people with mental disorders is separated, won't answer the smoking question, is a few pounds overweight and is looking for someone "with a multicultural palate."

GEEZ, LOUISE!!!!!

So we have someone on a dating site who isn't even divorced yet, may turn to food and tobacco addictions to escape from life's disappointments, and may be a bit of a snob, passing judgement on people who may suffer from depression. NICE!

See how easy it is to place all people under this label?
 Ravishing Renee
Joined: 1/22/2007
Msg: 35
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:17:14 AM
In the first place....your not going to know someone has been diagnosed with a mental disorder unless they tell you ( +1 to them for honesty) and to say you won't date some one who has been...... well all mental disorders are not that bad.......lets see OCD.... wanna clean my house..LOL come on over.......

and lots of people have mental disorders who have never seen a doc.... Narcissiam is the one that is never treated.. and you certainly can't live with someone who has that!!!!!!

yes it sucks to be in a relationship with someone who has baggage... but after living life.. having your heart broken .... watching people you love die..... you carry baggage.... lets face it we are not 16 anymore.. and have lived life.. and we carry some of the scars with us......

Some people consider your family baggage ( its all in the mind of the beholder)

I kind of like who I am.........

and I hope I can find someone else.... who can love me.... BAGGAGE AND ALL>
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 36
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:21:25 AM
OP

Do YOU have a mental disorder? I'm not asking to be rude, I'm asking because you're so defensive and I'm guessing someone shut you down because you gave them a peek inside your life...and they told you that very thing.

And honestly, after looking at your profile...you need to climb down off that big ole horse you're on. There are a few "flags" in your profile, that if I were the type to "look for something", I'd say you had some issues you needed work on...but that's just me. (the mental disorders and wackjob quote is a perfect example of that...but that's just me).
 Chevy Girl 78
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 37
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:01:13 AM
Irespire, you are only 22. Please learn to become educated on a subject before you post a thread about it. Mental Illness/Disorders are a very complex subject. Doctors in the last few years have finally been able to truly understand why they happen etc and how to treat them properly. How can you state what is or isn't a mental illness. Also there as of yet there is no "cure" for any mental illness. Even people who are "cured" from clinical depression, they are still very susceptible to relapsing and becoming sick again. Therefore never being completely cured.

I can understand people who have had a bad experience with someone with a mental disorder not wanting to become involved with someone new with one. It can be a very hard thing for someone to go through. People who are not being treated or are going through a relapse are very unstable and hard to deal with. I also hope though that people don't immediately judge and push someone away because they have one. There are the ones who follow treatment and do things with their lives to minimize the effects of a mental illness and then there are those who are too sick to seek treatment or even recognize they have an illness.

It is sad that there is such a large and horrible stigma attached to mental illness, there was a study done by the Canadian government in the last few years. They did a poll and 7 out of 10 people wouldn't admit it if one of their immediate family members had a mental illness. How sad!
 forallintents
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 38
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:31:05 AM

Please learn to become educated on a subject before you post a thread about it.



Also there as of yet there is no "cure" for any mental illness.


amazing how both of your personalities can type at the same time...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 39
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:20:24 AM
What type of disorder are you talking about? I see a man who has OCD, but the limit of his strangeness is that he MUST put exactly 12 blueberries in his pancake batter, not 11 and not 13.

I grew up with a consistently depressed, bi-polar mother. I lived for several years with a man who is often depressed and is bi-polar. As a result of those experiences, I probably would not date a man who suffers from clinical depression or is bi-polar. I know it isn't something that a person chooses to "be," but the consistent day-to-day dealing with those problems is draining and sometimes, frightening.

But a lot of people have quirks that out of the ordinary: I like creative craziness.
 Chevy Girl 78
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 40
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:31:24 AM

amazing how both of your personalities can type at the same time...




forallintents, what are you talking about? What does being educated about a subject have to do with wether there is a cure for an illness or not? Just because an illness has no cure does not mean you cannot be educated about what knowledge is out there.
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 41
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:43:29 AM

I'd argue that the 'blues' is considered a mental disorder due to the extreme overdiagnosis of depression...and pretty much everything.

You can get over clinical depression, it just takes really long time.


You could also cure yourself and learn how to sing the story so others don't get the disease. I am a PhD of the Blues, are you talking to me? Are YOU.......talking to ME!
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 42
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:52:26 AM
Obviously the OP never has been in a relationship with someone with a mental disorder or illness. Casting judgment on others who have been is ignorant and intolerant.
 bodypro8
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 43
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 11:37:29 AM
I just had a brilliant idea. If I go around saying I won't date women who would never date me anyway, I would feel a lot better. Like if she is way out of my league, "Sorry, I dated a beautiful woman once, uh uh, never again."
 ~Hello~
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 44
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 11:39:41 AM
one bump on the head .. that's all it takes
and for some - it doesn't have to be that big a bump!

Love this:


If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different...I'd rather be completely ****ing mental.
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 45
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 11:47:33 AM

I just had a brilliant idea. If I go around saying I won't date women who would never date me anyway, I would feel a lot better. Like if she is way out of my league, "Sorry, I dated a beautiful woman once, uh uh, never again." .


Necessity is the mother of invention. I have a feeling you wouldn't have to be so creative. Those girls are just chasing you around and you don't even have to think twice about the ones who don't. You just like to take a walk in the other guys shoes once in a while, and that makes you a better man.
 Validar
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 46
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:19:34 PM
Hey, I've got an idea. Let's all ditch our personal preferences, even though we have the option of being with someone who matches them, just to have complete strangers on the internet think better of us.

Does that sound f*cking brilliant or what?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 47
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:30:57 PM
My Ex husband suffers from diagnosed depression. Never again. All the meds and therapy never made a bit of difference over 15 years. I supported him through every manic episode, fights with neighbors, co-workers and strangers and 12 hour naps. I got tired of being his rock.
I concur with your first sentence, if a man I was dating told me he was diagnosed with any mental disorder I would distance myself romantically. 20 years of supporting and trying to get someone else help was enough. It sucked the life out of me. I could offer nothing but friendship. Call me immature or weak minded, I could care less.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 48
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:44:23 PM
OP, please tell me you are joking about "fake disorders." There is nothing funny about mental disorders to those dealing with them and family supporting them. To make light of it is very insensitive....

Personally, I think too much negativety has been said about mental disorders. People suffering them have a hard enough time dealing with the issues at hand to be dished on a dating site for them. Bottom line is - get educated if you find out someone you are interested in has a disorder, 99 percent of the time, the information you know from word of mouth is not totally true.

I have a friend who is bi-polar. She is on her medicine and if you were to meet her, you would have no idea she was bi-polar.

Oh, and I guess when I got help for depression 9 years ago after the death of a loved one, that makes me less valuable as person? Wrong...
 ~tag~
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 49
I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:49:49 PM
Sometimes, there are levals of mental disorders. Some are more 'demanding' and emotionally draining. While someone may have EMPATHY for you, it does NOT mean they have to date you.

We ALL get to chose who we will or will not go out with - and sometimes, drama and emotional vampires can help call those shots. Like it or lump it, that's just the way it is.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 50
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I don't think much of people who do this
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:30:44 PM
Maybe all of us misfits SHOULD have our own site.
Plenty of mentally imperfect people.

Then all the beautiful, perfect people who are "oh too good" for the others can stay here.
Plenty of SNOTS.
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