Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "men outnumber women on dating sites" Fact? or Myth?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 27
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?Page 2 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
^^^ Desperation? ^^^


I don't think many people use the internet as their only source for dating and relationships. I started visiting these site years ago out of boredom. I've rarely even contacted anybody. It seems like everyone, that is on par with who I date off-line, is wanting Mr. Perfect online. The Jackpot! I think online dating is a lot like buying a lottery ticket for some people. It's a chance to meet someone better than what they can normally do off-line. Anything less is a waste of their time. If it works out... Great! If not... No big loss.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 28
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/7/2009 1:37:25 PM
Total myth, according to the site moderators. It's not even a ratio of 2:1. It's something like, 1.6 men for every 1.2 women. Seriously, statistically not even significant.


As I stated earlier this depends on various factors such as geography and age. On POF for my geographical area and age group, men outnumber women by about 2.5 to 1 ratio. This ratio tends to become even for people over 40.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 29
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:42:22 PM

> In person I always need something to start on conversation on otherwise it just
> sounds like a stupid pickup line. Online if a woman has written a half-way decent profile
> there's a good chance I can write something based on it. Then again considering my
> success rate maybe I should use pickup lines instead ;)

That's because women defined what a "pick up line" is and have done themselves a disservice by discounting a single man that approaches herin public. Anyhow, the "pick-up line" would probably work if he made 6 figures.


The changes in what is considered acceptable behavior were aimed at reducing what was really always bad behavior. American society loves to set very low thresholds for poor or illegal behavior and then decide on a case by case basis who is to be held to the letter of the law and who isn't. Your example of a guy who makes 6 figures is an example of who isn't held to the restrictions or has a much higher threshold before he becomes 'bad'. I think the threshold for me is somewhere between eye contact and just before saying 'hi'. :)


Total myth, according to the site moderators. It's not even a ratio of 2:1. It's something like, 1.6 men for every 1.2 women. Seriously, statistically not even significant.
Site moderators have a vested interest in creating an illusion that there is a decent ratio. It's difficult on a more popular site such as this one to get an idea of ratio, but for it to be under 2 to 1 here this site would have to have some how broken through some sort of barrier that other smaller ones don't. Ones small enough that it's easier to get a handle on the ratio.

If there were really that many women in the online dating world dating websites wouldn't have to resort to bots and other forms of fake female profiles. The free sites like this one don't do that but pay for sites do to keep or get guys to sign up for a paying membership. Even giant pay for sites have had instances where they caught doing that.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 30
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/8/2009 9:14:33 AM

If there were really that many women in the online dating world dating websites wouldn't have to resort to bots and other forms of fake female profiles. The free sites like this one don't do that but pay for sites do to keep or get guys to sign up for a paying membership. Even giant pay for sites have had instances where they caught doing that.

But then it poses the same question...if there are all these single women out there who seemingly never sign up on a dating site, never attend any kind of singles thing, or even join meetups to just meet people in general...if they hide in their cliques of friends (and slowly watch them all get married off) and seemingly do little or nothing to get out there in some way to find men...then what's their grand plan?

I know not all single women are out there actively looking to find a man, but everyone has to agree that there is a majority of them. Is it that they're hiding in their friends, jobs, hobbies, etc? Or they keep doing the same things that fail them before?

Or (just to play devil's advocate) even perhaps they are meeting guys, but it seems the combo of attractive with a stable life (job, money, etc) and he want a RL/commitment is elusive? Meaning they can find a guy with a stable life and he wants a RL, but they don't find him attractive, or the guy they find attractive and has a stable life wants just to sleep around. Perhaps they are meeting many guys, but they're not finding that tri-fecta they want, which in many ways all men and women want in the opposite gender.

Thoughts?
 Happy Dayzs
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 31
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:20:37 PM
I think this carries over to all ages: For many years I ran a large co-ed beach house; most people were 28-45. On Friday & Saturday nites at 11 pm all the women from our house & their friends at neighboring houses would gather together, sit around, drink coffee and complain about not being able to meet decent guys. All were reasonably successful women in business, of average looks. In town, the restaurants, bars & discos were full of men, and not many women. When the women did go into town, they went as a large group, turned their backs on any men around them, and if any reasonable looking guy had the nerve to come over & try to enter their conversations, they would just blow him off with some rude comment. I have read a huge number of profiles of women on POF, and I think they are mostly dysfunctional ads. I have only limited experience here so far, but not one woman has ever contacted me first other than a hooker; with one exception no one answers msgs unless thanking me for some compliment I made to them about something in their profile & it was clear that there was no mutual match for us. Some years ago I tried several other sites, and I found it difficult to get women to even meet me in a public place or coffee shop, as they had incredible fear of meeting Jack the Ripper or someone who didn't look as handsome as his photo, or HE might reject THEM. One attractive woman once confided to me that she always went home with the dumbest jerk since she couldn't stand the possibility of being rejected by some really nice handsome guy. The point of all this is that people can be their own worst enemies.

I read this on one (wise) man's profile: "If your ship doesn't come in . . . swim out to it!
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 33
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:30:46 PM

I think that 20:1 ratio represents the number of fat, bald, short, old, and broke men who want thin, long haired, tall, young, and rich women. Otherwise, I think it is an even number of men to women. He can't get that ONE out of 20 he wants. It's not like there aren't 19 other women, he is more evenly matched with for a date. He wants a low cost supermodel, where the odds of that happening are dream on in any fora. I wouldn't mind Brad Pitt, myself. I try to be a little more realistic so that way I am not disappointed when he still doesn't email me.


Yes some men do have unrealistic expectations, but this can equally apply to both genders. A man could email a bunch of women around his "level" in terms of looks, education, social status etc and still get very few positive replies. There are women who have a long list of requirements even though they don't bring any special to the table. They are at best plain ordinary average looking women.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 34
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/9/2009 3:50:57 PM

Brilliant, Thundercloud111, I couldn't agree more! Times that I've said this, I get eaten alive! I guess they think I'm being stuck up by saying I don't see why a 45, overweight, bald man gets butt hurt when the 23 year old, tall, thin, big boobed bomb shell doesn't reply to his email.


Now riddle me this: Why is that when a woman describes what she wants and a guy who fits that as perfectly as any human could writes her, she doesn't reply?

From the perspective of forums and such it's not usually the 45 year old fat guy who is playing a numbers game with as many hot women half his age as possible that's complaining, but rather guys who don't understand dating in an environment where the male to female ratio is so skewed being shocked they don't even get a reply. The overweight 45 year old knows exactly the game he is playing. * It's the other guys who wrote a woman who said she wanted a guy a lot like him that get frustrated to the point of complaint. They simply aren't used to summary rejection for small things. I got used to that in real life long before online dating got a foothold so it just seemed more or less normal to me, but most guys never lived in an environment of 8 guys to every girl like I did.

*even the ones who send abusive messages when they've been rejected/ignored.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 35
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/9/2009 11:03:33 PM
I think it's a factual myth.

Yup, it's a fact that a lot of people believe the myth.
 jasonl81
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 36
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 5/8/2009 5:56:16 PM
This is not an easy question to tackle because like a lot of people said it partly depends on geography and age groups and the type of dating site. If your a male living in Alaska you clearly don't stand much of a chance for obvious reasons. If your a male on a millionare matchmaker site, you are in good standing. PlentyOfFish will have more men than women because its a free site that tends to attract men looking for sex or men who wont even spend the 50 dollars on a more professional site like match.com ... Clearly men out number women, but by how much depends on these factors.

If you consider all age groups then It looks something like 60% men and 40% women. But considering there are more women in later age than men are and more women are being born, it would suggest that more men than women are signing up for online dating. And dont forget, a lot of these sites are clever enough to put up fake profiles of attractive women. Like another poster said, there are more men with social defects than there are women . Plus the fact that some men can't and will not approach a girl in public and lack the experience to navigate the dating pool.

Now for the singles in their 20's the women have a biggest advantage of them all. They are desired by all age groups of men in many various geographical locations. They are looking at 10 men for every 1 woman. When women hit the age of 40 the tables have turned and by the time they hit 50 they are in the same boat men were in their 20's. Thats when they end up going to speed dating sites and find no men worthy of their time and hence they stay single. They rather be single than date a loser.
 jasonl81
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 37
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 5/8/2009 6:04:14 PM
im gonna also throw it out there that many women cheat and they do so with the same type of man. Its the alpha male being stretched thin among these women.

A lot of men cheat but many of them actually pay for it. Just look at these men in politics and what they are doing. It's so prevalent but people don't realize it.

So since these women are all going after the same guy it means theres much less women in general for the rest of us.
 CountIbli
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 38
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 5/14/2009 8:07:13 PM

I disagree. I think women in general care about looks / physical attraction just as much as men do. Regardless of gender, there will be some people who are very picky about looks. While other people will be more flexible.


Not only are women just as shallow as men, but they also want the guy to have money and/or power. The only time women are flexible about looks are when the guy has a lot of money. Eg. Donald Trump.

But back to the OP. I think one reason why men dominate the Internet dating world is because most women can have full dating lives without ever asking a man out. They don't need an additional venue to find men. Men have difficulty finding available women and approaching them so we need all the help we can get.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 40
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:46:57 AM

...while us men should be heading over to eHarmony

Q: Why do you think their ad marketing targets almost exclusively male audiences?
(ESPN, the business news channels, and the nature/science/sci-fi channels are all carpet-bombed continually with their ads, trying to scare up some more omega males.)

A: Because they couldn't pay most guys enough to go that route. If women fall for it so readily, it must be bad, really bad.
 Ronery1234
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 41
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 8/10/2009 6:27:25 PM
I did a search on every age level in a 25 mile radius of myself for both genders. If I remember correctly there was approximately 1 girl for every 1.4 guys. The number of people increase slightly at the same proportion for every year up till about 1 girl for every 1.6 guys up till the age of 35 or so. Then the number of people start decreasing but stay in the same 1-1.5 proportion or so.

That's for me personally, but I cant see anywhere else being too much different. Try this yourself in the search feature, set your age range to whatever your lowest is, check that for guys and girls and compare the number, do it for 1 year older, and keep going to find out for yourself. The number will be at the top " X number of profiles found" and just use that number.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 42
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:33:18 PM
THey may have more numbers as in more accounts than the number of women users, but more women check their accounts regularly. So its kind of misleading. Sure the men are "there" but they're not "there" if that makes sense.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 43
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/3/2009 8:31:53 PM
No matter how you cut it. But for every woman that goes on a date there is a guy that goes on a date... From all the posting from other guys.. I guess if so few guys are going on dates from here. That means 20% of the guys out there are going out with 80% of the women...
 Inner_Glow
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 44
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/6/2009 11:33:40 PM
So in other words, we need to move to Russia?
 BND74
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 46
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:29:27 PM
I'm guessing men out number the ladies 2:1, reason being, half the men on dating sites are married or attach and are online looking to see if they can improve on what they already have ...I get so many stories from my female friends that say the get guys that are married or attach being online contacting them.
 BACHELOR02
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 47
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:36:57 PM
Does it really matter? A lot of people play the lottery every week, even though the odds of winning are something like 13 million to one. Despite the odds, someone always wins. And as the old saying goes ..."you've got to be in it to win it!"
 es138
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 48
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:48:19 PM
Where I live, it was 6 guys for 1 girl, when I checked 2 years ago. Now it's 3 guys to 1 girl.

I think a lot of what contributes to the imbalance is that there are lots of different venues where a girl can sign up for free, AND that girls tend to be on top of retiring (deleting) their profiles when they leave the site.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 49
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:15:21 AM
Obviously, men outnumber women on dating sites... just do a search on a few sites and see for yourself.


Why are there more men than women on dating sites?
Who asks for the first date more often, men or women? - there is your answer. Men are more outgoing in this situation.
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 50
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:33:33 AM
This may be true but I think of it a case in quality and not quantity. A lot of men are on dating sites but many are just online to seek sex, end current relationships or just get talking to women. This really annoys me as the genuine men whom many of us women are seeking can be overlooked by the ream of men who are online for the wrong reasons and they may lose out also.

I get messaged a lot by men basically saying the same kinda thing (fancy meeting up for a little fun) It gets really boring after a while and can make online dating seem kinda frustrating at times. This is just my experience in this i'm sure it's not the case for everyone.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 51
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 9/22/2009 2:45:17 PM
^^^^ Yea, but they also show 77% have no kids, and that 56% are college educated or more, neither of which seems to match my local sample in the least.

The 5% of members who are "addicts" account for 63% of the site visits, which would suggest the forums are the main thing going on here.

80% of members are "just passing through" and should be factored out of any calculations, lest one get an inaccurate impression.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "men outnumber women on dating sites" Fact? or Myth?