Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "men outnumber women on dating sites" Fact? or Myth?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 77
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?Page 4 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Well, the admin himself says some women get 100+ emails a day, plus my one female friend on here says she rarely gets less than 25 (of course, she's an attractive 25-year-old blonde) -- and she's been on here for more than a year, so if she was new... Most of the women I message that actually answer this question usually say "dozens" or something like that. Maybe they're not serious, I don't know, but the Big M sounds like he knows what's talking about.

It doesn't really matter if they are new contact emails or not. 50-100 emails of any kind is a lot of clutter, and it's not like a new contact email is marked with a red dot or something (that MIGHT be a good idea, though, since admin is all about putting dots in your inbox these days). My point was that a bunch of emails create clutter in the inbox and it's pretty easy to forget you even looked at one, which especially matters if you're one of those people who reads all of them first (in case some are high priorities for response) before deciding how to deal with them.

I do realize there are plenty of women that get only a handful of emails a day or even a week, but, without sounding too ageist, I doubt very many of them are in my age bracket, nor in my 4 million person metro. A lot of what I'm talking about here is what I'm up against, not necessarily what some of you guys are up against -- I don't really know what's going on in other markets and age brackets. I'm being accused of facilitating my own failure, so I'm describing my environment so you'll realize it probably looks nothing like yours. If all of the standard POF rules fit everyone's situation, then Mr. Evil here would still be failing miserably with all those women in his picture.
 Mben1986
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 78
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 3/25/2010 11:58:52 AM

Now don't you think her mail box is stuffed too?


Her mail box isn't the only thing that's stuffed.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 79
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 3/25/2010 5:16:08 PM
I've had my current profile since February, which is actually just a rehash of the same one I had back in spring of last year for about 3 months. It is by far the most popular profile I've ever had. With my previous, more conventional versions, I got one single first contact email from summer through January. Since I brought this one back, I've already received 3. I also received several back in the spring. But I took it down because it was obvious those women just thought I had a cool profile and wanted to compliment me, but didn't really want to date me. I didn't really have all day to banter back and forth with women who weren't interested in dating me (especially this past summer which I spent going coast to coast with my film). I have enough female friends as it is. But now things have just gotten to the point of patheticness that I feel any email is better than nothing. Trust me, I've attempted dozens of different types of profiles in my 3 years, including one that was practically built by the POF review board. This is the only one that's ever accomplished anything. I'm stuck with it.

Your theory about young women being social outside of POF is undoubtedly valid. My friend who is on here doesn't log on very often at all because she's too busy clubbing, partying, sunbathing, etc. This isn't to say she hasn't met guys from here, but she basically just checks to see if the guy sending her an email is hot, if so sends him her number or IM and then heads out of the house for another night on the town (sometimes with me!). Basically, she spends less than an hour a week on POF and accomplishes a thousand times as much as I do during my many hours of non-forum related POF activity. Such is the difference between a woman in the top 10% of desirability vs. a guy in the bottom 1%.

BTW, we joke around with each other about the fact that she once showed up in my "Women You May Think Are Hot" search. Well, they got that one right!
 lateā„¢
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 80
Why do some ladies think there better when they don't have a pot to piss in themselves?
Posted: 5/19/2010 10:53:24 AM
When I had access to the stats, the trend was toward parity, but the last global stat I saw was about 2 years ago, it was 1.2M:1F.

It never really mattered to me, I was only looking for one.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 81
Why do some ladies think there better when they don't have a pot to piss in themselves?
Posted: 5/19/2010 4:52:11 PM
Well, excellent. I had no idea the sex ratio was so close to 1:1. On the other hand, it is definitely true that women get literally hundreds of messages to men's half-dozen, but that's the nature of who does the messaging. I talked briefly to one girl here that systematically deletes all of her messages and then of course whoever continues to try and contact her might get through with a second or third message. This makes holding a conversation through e-mail rather difficult. Ha. I've decided to cut my losses with that situation. It's like throwing frozen chickens over a wall. Sooner or later you get tired or run out of chickens.
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Disappearing males- Alien Abduction?
Posted: 6/29/2010 7:43:39 PM
Informal survey of my area

London Ontario, 25 miles, ages 40-50, counted until online this week (active profiles)
690 males
500 females

1.38 males to 1 female

YMMV

So it's kind of a sausage fest here on POF. But the city demographics are that there are actually about 13,000 more women than men in this town so I just have to figure out a way to get all of them to sign up for online dating without tipping the guys off.

Shhh!
 roblatino
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 83
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 11/15/2010 4:04:24 PM
Your analysis is definately wrong. I have been on plentyoffish and match.com for close to one year, and do you know how many dates that I have gotten.......none. I could easily go out to a party, or a club and pick up a girl by talking to them, but the online thing definately doesn't work for me. Why I don't go out instead of looking online?..... that's simple, I don't have the time. I work for the government...... exactly what I do is classified, I am also a U.S. Army reservist which also keeps me busy. I also am taking classes towards my masters degree online, so I have to say that I have my hands full which takes most of my spare time away. I am athletic, easily am more succesful than most men, and I am 5'9" which is a good height. I also have a college degree. oh, and did I forget to mention that I am on free second 6 month service with match.com because I didn't hook up with anyone the first 6 months? My pics are great, I even had a photagrapher buddy of mine give me a photoshoot...... so the only reason that I don't meet anyone online is just that, the men outnumber the women by at least 10 to 1, maybe 20 to 1........but, it is all good. I know that when I am able to go out, relax, and hang out with my friends, I can easily meet people. This online thing is a waste of time for males.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 84
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 11/18/2010 9:37:45 AM
So when are ya' moving to Indiana Darlin?!!
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 85
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 11/18/2010 11:13:44 AM
I would be willing to bet all the $$$ in China that's the case. Atleast here in north America. In other parts of the world, it can be the other way around, where the men are the sought after commodity.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 86
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 11/18/2010 12:51:42 PM
They want someone that sounds fun !


Indeed,,,but mainly I'm looking for someone who's authentic. Then fun.


where the men are the sought after commodity


Oh- they're sought after---I'm just looking for someone authentic. And fun.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 87
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/3/2010 1:35:05 PM

So in conclusion, though dating online seems a viable option for women, it is extremely competitive for men and currently not a very viable option. In fact for many men, online dating can be a huge blow to their self-esteem and it is sad to see some of the feedback from men who experienced this. Men's odds are far better in public places. Maybe the pheromones in person make it easier for men. Maybe it's that meeting in person rather than online is more of the romantic type of scenario a woman wants. Regardless as a man, if you have the time to commit to going out in public to try to meet women, your odds are far far better than any dating site available currently.

I agree with some of that, but I disagree with lots of it, too.
I'm far from "great looking" and I've had plenty of success using this very site, if you count success as setting up first meetings with women who are reasonably attractive and intelligent.
If you let lack of success be a blow to self esteem, that's a shame. You know, some men and women just don't want to read a bunch of run-on sentences and mis-spelled words, among many other offenses I heard women complain to me about during first meets where they're laughing at all the "idiots" sending them messages.
Yes, there are flakes and attention seekers. And yes, my response rate to messages was quite low. However, I got a few messages here and there, and some responses, some of which led to meeting up.
It's all about what you put into it. If you put in a poor/minimal effort, you'll get poor/minimal results.
Even though my girlfriend was found on this site, I won't argue that public is the best place to meet people for relationships.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 88
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/3/2010 2:06:49 PM
I disagree that it's not a viable option. Clearly for me and many others, it is.

I did agree though, that the real world is better. My strategy was to keep "out there" in the real world, but I did put time and effort into this and had success.
 fastdogphotog
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 89
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/27/2010 7:43:30 AM

Men's odds are far better in public places. Maybe the pheromones in person make it easier for men. Maybe it's that meeting in person rather than online is more of the romantic type of scenario a woman wants. Regardless as a man, if you have the time to commit to going out in public to try to meet women, your odds are far far better than any dating site available currently.


In general, from my own experiences and those of friends and acquaintances, I would agree with the basic premise above. However, I think that the explanation or reason for this has more to do with the fundamental nature of on-line dating than anything else.

When you meet someone in person, you are experiencing them in multiple dimensions with all of your senses. That applies just as much to their "physicality" as to their personality. Yes, it's possible that pheromones come into play. But more important are all those little details that don't translate well in a flat, two dimensional photo, such as the way someone's eyes might shine when they smile or laugh; the little mannerisms that distinguish them from others that might look similar. And the same can be said for personality and sense of humor. Sure, there are profiles that do manage to reflect the real person behind them, but I would suggest that many more, if not most, are not nearly as dynamic or interesting as the people they represent.

But most important, all on-line dating profiles, by virtue of the medium, can be viewed as just a collection of different facts and data points, such as height, body type, income, hair color, etc. And to be able to distinguish one profile from another, it is necessary to rely heavily on those limited facts and data points. But in real life, even a brief interaction with someone will usually lead to a wealth of additional, more complex information and meta-information about them. As a result, the limited facts that are so important to on-line dating are placed in a larger, more varied, and more dynamic context. This renders them less important in real life interactions than on-line. It also means that they may be perceived and interpreted differently - through the lens of the additional information available. And, much, if not most of that additional information is difficult, if not impossible to convey in the on-line medium in the first place.

As for real world examples, I know some women who, on-line, won't respond to or consider men under a certain height; over a certain weight; with certain hair or eye color; without a certain income or educational level. But in real life, these same women will not only respond to and date men that don't meet these requirements, but they have engaged in somewhat lengthy relationships with these men as well. And, interestingly, when I point out this seeming inconsistency, these women quickly acknowledge it, and usually explain it by drawing a distinction between on-line and real life and the need to use some criteria to screen men on-line, even if somewhat arbitrary criteria.
 TexasNightOwl
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 90
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/27/2010 10:12:16 AM

I just did a search for my area.
For 50 yr olds, the ratio is about 1.1 to 1.
For 45 yr olds, the ratio is about 1.4 to 1.
For 40 yr olds, the ratio is about 1.5 to 1.
For 35 yr olds, the ratio is about 1.7 to 1.
For 30 yr olds, the ratio is about 2 to 1.

I searched for 30 year olds within 10 miles (to get the number of males below the 600+ limit) and got 128 women versus 281 men (2.2 to 1). Limiting to logged on within 30 days I get 56 women versus 100 men (1.8 to 1). Still not a great ratio, but moving in the right direction.

Changing age to 50 it goes to 114 women vs 129 men members (1.1 to 1). Those logged on in past 30 days is 57 women vs 72 men (1.3 to 1).

Men tend to look for younger women (sort of like women tend to look for men that make more money than they do). So the ratios are effectively even worse for the younger guys. But then that leaves a lot of unsexed young guys that will go for the cougar fad. So who knows?

I think the bigger problem (especially with on-line dating sites) is that the expected odds of rejection are very high causing a lot of wasted effort. Men reject most women. They don't have any idea how many men completely rejected them. They can get an idea how many showed some interest but ultimately rejected them by looking at the Viewed Me link then their in-box. At the grocery store it is the men that saw their flirt, but ignored them.

Likewise, women reject most men. Because women generally require the man initiate contact, the men know when they are rejected. On-line, their e-mail is deleted unread, read deleted, or expires. In the grocery store the woman ignores the flirt, gives a mean look, or asks questions like "why would you think I would be interested in someone like you" (good question, I don't have tattoos/piercings all over my face, neck, arms, etc and haven't been to prison).

Knowing they are probably going to be rejected causes some men to do like my brother and send form letters. Sort of trying to force feed you with a summary of his profile. He is not going to (waste) time tying it into yours, because you will probably delete it anyhow. Others send "how's your day going" and "watz up" emails. Again little effort because they spent most of their time rejecting profiles and don't have a lot left to spend on emails that are going to get deleted. Play the odds, but generally, a waste of time.

Women then waste time going thru all those watz up emails to delete them...

I prefer off-line, at least at the grocery store I leave with food for the week...
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 91
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/27/2010 11:56:46 PM
ALMOSTABLONDE:

its the player's that usually work online dating to their advantage as they do in real life situations. so i'd rather stop hearing about these "if ur a player don't contact me" or "onling dating won't work if ur a player" lines.

u seen how many good guy threads there are around on this site alone? now i understand not all those guys are going to be what they claim but lets just say half are ur decent guys of the population. where does that leave them ?

the couple guys above got it exactly.
 sentback
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 92
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 12/29/2010 11:24:51 AM
Thundercloud111 Well it goes like this Women out live men But WOMEN AGE!!!!! faster than men ask your doctor. Being they have children and that takes a toll on the poor woman. I once had to look after 2 children by myself for 2 months, It was the hardest job I ever had to do my NERVES were shot. I was happy the day I got to go back to work and I got my sanity back. yes theres some old fat broke ass men on these sites but the number of HAGGERD looking women OUT NUMBER the men. Have a wonderful day
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 93
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/1/2011 4:17:50 AM
yes theres some old fat broke ass men on these sites but the number of HAGGERD looking women OUT NUMBER the men.

I beg to differ. Probably 95% of the men who write to me are not attractive. Overweight, bald, haggard looking, and OLD looking. And a good portion of them are YOUNGER than me (by just a year or two). And SO many of them have lied about their ages on their profiles - they've admitted it to me when we met in person. Sorry, I don't want to date a man who looks my father and is MY age.

I've found that men in my age bracket are NOT aging well.

At all.

DISCLAIMER: This post applies to 95% of the New Jersey men but it does NOT apply to ProcolHarem. He's a hottie.
 Brocksamsonz
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 94
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 1/2/2011 11:38:06 PM
You know if there is really an increase in female to male births cause of artificial estrogen being introduced to humans thought foods and plastic wear that's fine for me but its still a challenge getting a cougar i find, but it might be cause theres bi's and lesbians too dang it sounds about even numbers again :_(.
 forexguy99
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 95
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/25/2011 7:11:48 PM

Entirely false. There have been dating websites where the men have to pay to play and the women get free accounts. Bars will waive cover charges for women. etc and so on. That's because in any situation where single people are likely to meet men will out number women by a good margin. Layer in technology like the internet and men will out number women by huge margins.
Now as to your remark about not counting the unattractive women. I went to college where the school was almost entirely engineering. What was left after that was mostly architecture and computer science. A good year was 8 guys to every girl. Guys used to complain about the ratio and how the women were mostly unattractive and didn't even try to be. Guess what? Every girl who wanted a boyfriend got one.


What you're stating is totally correct, but it's not because there are necessarily more men than women in any given geographical area. Statistically the total number of men and women in the total universe as a whole should be the same. The reason why singles events - both conventional meet set-ups and cyberspace sites on the internet - have more men than women is because many men cheat on their wives and girlfriends, and even for those who are legitimately single, they look to have more than one relationship with a female at any given time; as opposed to women, who for the most part only go with one guy at a time - regardless of whether they (the women) are single or married.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 96
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/25/2011 8:47:29 PM
I find it hard to believe there are roughly the exact same men to women ratio's on the whole planet. male's are the more dominant sex in the birth process, thats nothing new, so its of course its likely there are more men on earth than women.

women of course are known to live longer so as we age, the numbers even out a little more, maybe even in the female's favour, im not quite 100 per cent certain there but it would even out anyway. thats where internet dating comes into it,

where if ur a 50+ year old guy the chances of having much competition from other men of the same age or older are alot more slimmer than say a 20 or 30 year old guy online who has to compete with ALOT of competition from the same sex in the same age groups to get a single girl. take a look at all the young guy's online who complain about the lack of success on here. its nothing surprising or new.

there is no solution to this whole problem really, as we get older the number's get better, so does the whole dating game (well one would think LOL) and people's expectations, goals and outlooks on life.

i know from most things i even do in my everyday life its hard to come across female's where the number's are even or in the female's favour. there is always more guy's in the equation. for example where i study.

clubs/pubs are just as bad as the internet really as we know. its always more guy's than women, its exactly why the establishments all try to lure women to the places in the hope it will even out the "numbers" and more guys will stick around hoping more women might come. its never really even though and when it can be maybe at times it still doesn't make it much easier for some guys to get much at those places but thats a whole different topic.
 forexguy99
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 97
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/25/2011 10:31:46 PM

I find it hard to believe there are roughly the exact same men to women ratio's on the whole planet. male's are the more dominant sex in the birth process, thats nothing new, so its of course its likely there are more men on earth than women.


No, that's not true. Each male & female has 2 sets of 23 chromosomes each that they give to their offspring, including the 2 sex chromosomes - XX in females and XY in males. Each female must give off one X chromosome onto a newly formed zygote (union of egg & sperm) to help determine it's sex. The male then determines the actual sex of the newly forming embryo. If the males gives off an X, the new being is a female. On the other hand, if the male gives off a Y chromosome, then the newly formed being is automatically a male. Statistically speaking, it's a 50-50 chance then of the male giving either the X or the Y chromosome. Hence, it obviously follows that the chance of the new offspring being either a male or female is 50% for either one.

Now of course, this doesn't mean that the actual male to female ratio has always been EXACTLY 50/50 throughout the univers, that would be a ridiculous and unrealistic observation. If you did actual counts throughout the history of mankind, you would find that different geographical areas during different time periods would have either slightly more males or females, depending on the exact geographical locations and specific time periods that you studied.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 98
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/25/2011 10:48:21 PM
well all that aside. u go into any nightclub/pub on any given night or log onto any dating site any time of the week and i don't care how many guys to women there are in the universe, u will always get more guys show up. that is a fact.
 forexguy99
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 99
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/25/2011 11:38:00 PM

well all that aside. u go into any nightclub/pub on any given night or log onto any dating site any time of the week and i don't care how many guys to women there are in the universe, u will always get more guys show up. that is a fact.


Yes, that unfortunately is a very true fact. That's why I gave my explanation above. Many men like to have more than one woman, whereas most women only like one male mate at a time. If the males didn't stray, you would pretty much find even amounts of males to females frequenting singles joints as well as joining dating sites on the internet. On cyberspace dating sites, the male/female ratio is even higher, because it's much easier to cheat sitting behind your keyboard right in the comfort of your own home.

Now, in no way am I totally absolving the females here. They cheat also (like my married ex sister-in-law did with a co-worker of hers), it's just that men do it a lot more than women.
 forexguy99
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 100
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/26/2011 12:06:01 AM

The real question is, why do men keep flocking to these sites if the numbers are against us?


And we accuse the women of doing things that don't make any sense?
 forexguy99
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 101
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/26/2011 12:48:00 AM

Being creative helps. I will always check out a mans profile before I even read my message from them. This is what I call my "dork control". I'm very open minded and sexually liberated so I already know what kind of men can handle me at 45. I weed through them deleting as I go, choosing to keep the ones with potential. Funny, out there, creative, unusual, or Harley related profiles mostly will get a response from me. Even if it's a hello, I liked your page, or to say something smart butt in return. That's how I met my current lover. He drove two hours in the rain to take me out to lunch the day we met. I think we like each other... Good luck to everyone on POF~ this is a dating site after all (even though we think it's a forum site), and it does work despite any odds of how many male or female members there are.


Well, that's pretty easy for you to say getting dozens of emails everyday because the numbers are in your favor. You and other females (and certain males) posting here on this topic can give as many fancy explanations or creatively spin it anyway you want, but let's see you keep that positive energy and air of arrogance going when you're lucky to only get one email a week. And remember, before you women start celebrating too heavily, realize that the odds are good that the "dream man" or "hot harley guy" you selected after "weeding & deleting" as you go is probably married or going with somebody else and will successfully keep that from you until he's got you suckered in.

Okay, enough said.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "men outnumber women on dating sites" Fact? or Myth?