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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "men outnumber women on dating sites" Fact? or Myth?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 151
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?Page 7 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
msg #427 - women have all the control? BS. We have no influence over who talks to us, and I have contacted guys I'm interested in (and no, they are not the hot studs either), and get blown off just as much. I put a lot of effort and energy into my profile, into signaling interest, actively reaching out, talking to men, but have had no luck in almost two years. Sure, I had a few short term relationships, but they were short because the guys either lied, cheated or put zero effort into the relationship. So back to square one, and weeding through tons of messages from guys I'm not attracted to, or who just want sex, or who fade away after a few messages. I can count the men I met online and who I actually liked (but who all turned out to be a bad choice after a while) on one hand. Yes, it's been just awesome for me.
 patchman1313
Joined: 8/18/2013
Msg: 152
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/19/2014 12:34:42 AM
Listen, online dating is a joke. Not only does men usually outnumber women on these sites but the average Joe who is probably not the best at the game gets lost in the crowd. The average guy who is not finding success in the real world tries this site to improve his chances and soon realizes that he has no chance. These guys give up or get ignored and the rest that is left are the ones looking for sex and can play the "bull sh*t" game. Very few women reach out to the men, they just sit back and wait for that perfect person to message them. The guy who is good looking and knows how to set up the best profile often times is just the online version of the pick up artists. To these guys this site is better than the bar. In the bar the other women can see the player working the room, online the women get the feeling that they are special because they do not see the fact that he is playing the numbers game. Bottom line, the best way to avoid a great deal of this garbage is to do things the old fashion way, meet people face to face.

ATB Patchman
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 153
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/19/2014 12:44:39 AM

1.The average top 10 dating sites,the male-female ratio is close to 50-50.

Now THAT is a myth, not a myth buster. Just because "Twoofus.org" says it, doesn't mean it's true. They have no sources or experiments to back that up. They just say it.

BTW, that wasn't the "myth" they posted, that was the "fact" (lol) they posted to this myth:

There Aren’t Any Men Out There

Yes, that is a myth. It's more or less a sausage fest. Do the experiments yourself for people recently active on the site. In cherry-picked demographics it's not all that bad, but all around -- there's alot more sausage than cute buns.

And the article is so ridiculous... since when is it a myth by women saying "There aren't any men out there [online]?" This article just shot itself in the foot for accuracy right there. :)
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 154
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History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 1:42:19 AM

msg #427 - women have all the control? BS. We have no influence over who talks to us, and I have contacted guys I'm interested in (and no, they are not the hot studs either), and get blown off just as much. I put a lot of effort and energy into my profile, into signaling interest, actively reaching out, talking to men, but have had no luck in almost two years. Sure, I had a few short term relationships, but they were short because the guys either lied, cheated or put zero effort into the relationship. So back to square one, and weeding through tons of messages from guys I'm not attracted to, or who just want sex, or who fade away after a few messages. I can count the men I met online and who I actually liked (but who all turned out to be a bad choice after a while) on one hand. Yes, it's been just awesome for me.


He's in the worst demographic for online dating for men - you're older, and dealing in entirely different demographics, where the pendulum starts swinging back towards males.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 155
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 2:21:23 AM

Not only does men usually outnumber women on these sites but the average Joe who is probably not the best at the game gets lost in the crowd.

I did do a little research of my own... the two most popular free sites (POF & OKC) have the worst ratios. OKC used to not have that bad a ratio apparently, and allegedly you could see the ratio of active users -- but they took that down. You can bet it wasn't because there was too many girls.

Another thing is you don't want to look at the # of users ratio. That tends to even out. It's the # of active users.

On Match, the ratio was ~1.7:1 in my mid-sized-city area (any body type). So essentially, a 60-40 ratio, as opposed to a 2.5-to-3.5:1 ratio on a popular free site. Pretty good, right? Well, it's also pay site. How many women are actually paying vs those who aren't but their 5-or-7-day-free-trial ran out? Obviously a pay site won't let you figure out the ratio of Paying users. :)
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 156
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History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 5:36:22 AM
To be fair, the pay rate for men on match is slightly worse than women. This is evened out by the "rotating scammers" on Match (Match removes scammers after enough reports, so an hour or two, but then a new scammer profile cycles in, and repeat. For some reason, scammers target that site more than all)

But yes, as we went over early, most men -do- adjust for body types/age, which shifts the results ridiculously. In my immediate area, average and thinner is something like 10-1 men to women, but spreading it to all types, and it becomes something like 4-1.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 157
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 5:57:03 AM

If someone needs any kind of liquor on a daily basis to relate to someone in their personal life, they have real issues



Tell me about it!!!!

I got issues with keeping the empty bottles out of the way.

I got issues of keeping the cabinet anddddddd the ice cube trays full.

I got issues of remembering where I left my glass.

I got so many issues that my closet is full of weird white jackets that someone comes in daily to put on me. Takes about 4 or 5 of those guys depending on my mood, and



the issue at hand.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 158
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 6:15:56 AM
You put the glass down? LOL
Don't know what stats to believe, I'm leaning towards men outnumbering. I think women have more options to meet Men RT
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 159
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 6:31:49 AM
Sure, I had a few short term relationships, but they were short because the guys either lied, cheated or put zero effort into the relationship. So back to square one, and weeding through tons of messages from guys I'm not attracted to, or who just want sex, or who fade away after a few messages. I can count the men I met online and who I actually liked (but who all turned out to be a bad choice after a while) on one hand. Yes, it's been just awesome for me.


I won't say all women have it easy. But the gender ratio does favor women. In particular the ones under 40. If a woman gets emails from dozens or hundreds of men and is only interested in handful of them, that can be partly because a woman is very picky and is rejecting men because of trivial things. He is an inch under a certain height, he has a weird laugh, he isn't a good dancer etc. I'm not saying this directly applies to you. But based on what I have read on the forums and elsewhere, it can apply to some women though.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 160
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 7:09:24 AM
@chill78
You've made a good point about the ages. Try finding someone in the retirement zone, the pickings get problematical. I've had a handful of first meets since 2007...can't see, can't hear, can't drive, alcohol issues, no retirement savings, broken down, recent widowers looking to talk about the deceased wife, and some looking for a nurse and a purse. I did find one I saw for a year but my gut proved right...in spite of what he said constantly about wanting to keep me, he talked the talk but didn't walk the walk. That one hurt, which makes one very hesitant to try again. I'm on here for the forums.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 161
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 4:42:29 PM

You put the glass down?


Well, I've got about 6 or 7 hanging around, strategically placed in and around the house. I know I just about have had enough when I can't even find one of em.

And yes ladies, there will be less and less of us as we age. Part of the process of living is that dying thingy.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 162
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 5:00:39 PM
SINGLE, employed men outnumber single, employed women on dating sites? Fact? or Myth?

MYTH
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 163
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 7:36:58 PM
Abmccray was correct. I am... women my age..girl.. women my age are so sick in the head from their beauty... so used to being a new car, not ever thinking that as the years and the mileage rack up, their value decreases..

This woman is in a different demographic indeed.
She is in the arena, where she took 30 and 40 years to figure out that beauty cant be her only skill to get the man she wants... unfortunate that it takes women 40 years but meh..

Shes at the time of her life where her skills and what she can do for a man become extremely attractive.. since by then, we are looking for a woman that will help us up, after we fall down the stairs... for example.
Her beauty fading, she no longer has the same kind of puzzy power.

And young men like me can look to women her age for knowledge on women and experience.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 164
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 8:25:34 PM
Re: Message #441

Shes at the time of her life where her skills and what she can do for a man become extremely attractive.. since by then, we are looking for a woman that will help us up, after we fall down the stairs... for example.
Her beauty fading, she no longer has the same kind of puzzy power. And young men like me can look to women her age for knowledge on women and experience.


Just because "she" is in her 40's doesn't mean her beauty is fading or that she no longer has the same kind of "puzzy" power. Why would "she" be looking to help guys who fall down the stairs? Sorry, but I think the above analogy is ridiculous, albeit I'm sure it was stated with good intentions.
===

Very few women reach out to the men, they just sit back and wait for that perfect person to message them.


Disagree. I think there are many women who will initiate contact. I do. And get this! I get a lot of no responses....and no, I don't email the "hot" guy....spare me....I message a man who interests me.....period.
==

I won't say all women have it easy. But the gender ratio does favor women. In particular the ones under 40


^^^^^I can see this.
==

And yes ladies, there will be less and less of us as we age. Part of the process of living is that dying thingy.


I know. I know........I need to focus more! :)
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 165
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 9:15:59 PM
Do you look like you did when you were 20?

No she doesnt have that same allure she would have if she were as beautiful as she was at 20. Stop this.
New car vs used car.

You get the picture.

Ill repeat myself. At that age, guys are looking for a woman who would help them get up after they fall down the stairs. You didnt get that so ill explain.

Its not the beauty that counts at that age but more about whether or not she has your back in a crisis, if she can endure, and if she has staying power. Skills she acquired throughout her years may help if she was smart enough not to depend solely on her beauty.

If i fall down the stairs, and break my neck, and not die, id still like to have a woman by my side through it all.... at that age. I hope i am clear now

You, like 20% of other women are the exception to the rule. You actively go out there and try to get a man, and you have the skill to do it.

Question is..... did you do that at 20? 25? 30?
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 166
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 9:37:57 PM

Do you look like you did when you were 20?


Honestly, I think I look better now than when I was 20. It's all about attitude, confidence along with looks. Although if you go off looks alone, I'd say I was really hot at 17. Ahhhhh memories!
==

No she doesnt have that same allure she would have if she were as beautiful as she was at 20. Stop this.
New car vs used car


Stop what? So "she" is a new car at 20, and a used car at 40 or above. Why can't it be a vintage or a classic car, as "used" car has a negative ring to it....don't you think?
==

Its not the beauty that counts at that age but more about whether or not she has your back in a crisis, if she can endure, and if she has staying power. Skills she acquired throughout her years may help if she was smart enough not to depend solely on her beauty.


I didn't say I didn't get it. I said the analogy is ridiculous. But now that it has been explained, it sounds wackier than before....and all this from a man falling down the stairs.
So, for you, all a woman has to do is have your back in a crisis and stay with you if you fall down the stairs....why not take the elevator and avoid the stairs altogether. :)


Question is..... did you do that at 20? 25? 30?


20: in relationship 25: married 30: married so nope. at 43: YES 44: YES 45: YES 46: ooops getting ahead of myself, but YES

 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 167
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/20/2014 10:23:35 PM
As if men were getting better with age LOL. I look just as good now as I did at 20, only I have more curves now, which most men go crazy for. I was thin and flat up until about 30, guess I'm a late bloomer. I have no problem attracting men at my ripe old age, much younger, same age, older, whatever. I just reopened my account and got more than 300 messages in the first 48 hours, so yes, I have plenty of options. But I'm very discerning who I spend my time with, whether it's just talking on a website or meeting in real life. It would be simpler if I got fewer responses actually, I'm all for quality over quantity.
 patchman1313
Joined: 8/18/2013
Msg: 168
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/21/2014 12:02:31 AM
^^^^^^^^
You reopen your account and get 300 messages in 48 hours. I guess that answers the initial question of this thread. There is no way you can have those numbers and still say this site is not a losing numbers game for men. How successful would many women on this site be if the guys they liked were also navigating through messages from 299 other women. If women who get this many messages are having a hard time meeting the right one, then how in the hell are the guys going to do it. Even if guys take better pictures or improve their profiles, many are still going to get lost in the shuffle. Just like when you look in the profile review thread, almost all of the requests are submitted by men. These kinds of things are proof of the problem. Oh, I know, It's because guys like me are sore losers and cry babies, or maybe we are just truth tellers. For me, I don't care, if you don't believe me look at my profile, and I have even met women on here. Even with my limited success, I am not going to deny the huge disadvantages of POF as a way to meet women.

ATB Patchman
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 169
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/21/2014 12:33:17 AM
Patchman .... wow.
I just read your profile.

You can catch more flies with honey.......

 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 170
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/21/2014 2:59:38 AM
You must have been at 17 to be in ltr for the next 30. Years lol. Throughout that, You gained a lot of skills. I bet people say your quite charming. Now your out and on the prowl.

Reframe it if you like, all of those are used. Depending on the man, in your case, classic could fit.

lol @ the analogy. It seems pretty funny, but it was the best i could come up with to illustrate what every man wants around those ages
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 171
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/21/2014 7:56:21 PM
There is something pathetic about men who hide behind unsubstantiated non facts to soften the blows to their self esteem.

Re a post above on sites are free to women. So now Match, Eharmony, Christian Mingle, etc. are free to women but not men? POF charges men for services they don't for women?

Men and women pair off. One to one. Millions of men have met their partneron this site and others.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 172
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/22/2014 8:27:36 AM
At the end of the day, males and females pair off. One to one. If a guy or gal can't be in the acceptable group of a member of the opposite sex then it has nothing to do with male/female ratios. Time to take inventory of 'why'.


The gender ratio doesn't mean men can't find a date. However the gender ratio can make it harder and can put men at a disadvantage. More competition for men. More potential options for women. In particular the ones younger than 40. Suppose there were 20 women and 50 men in a large room. Even if every woman found a date, the majority of men there still wouldn't have a date.


SINGLE, employed men outnumber single, employed women on dating sites? Fact? or Myth?

MYTH


Do you have any stats to back up this claim?.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 173
view profile
History
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/22/2014 9:24:59 AM
^^^^*

Firstly it's not 20 women to 50 men. It's more like 45 women to 50 men. And after they paired off, no surprise who would be the males left over. Nothing less attractive to us women than whiny negative men.

Also, if so few women OLD, then there must be millions elsewhere pairing off with males. Bars, etc. must have 50 females for every male.... Hint, there are not less females than males. Another hint, just about every one pairs off. If a guy can't find a woman it is not because of the stars are lined up against him.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 174
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/22/2014 10:18:33 AM
Firstly it's not 20 women to 50 men. It's more like 45 women to 50 men. And after they paired off, no surprise who would be the males left over. Nothing less attractive to us women than whiny negative men.

Also, if so few women OLD, then there must be millions elsewhere pairing off with males. Bars, etc. must have 50 females for every male.... Hint, there are not less females than males. Another hint, just about every one pairs off. If a guy can't find a woman it is not because of the stars are lined up against him.


This topic is not about whether men can find dates at other venues where the gender ratio might be even or there is more women than men. The gender ratio on POF might be about 50 men for 45 women for people over 40. However for people under 40, there can be 2 or 3 men for every woman. It's not "whining". It's stating a fact. Do a quick search. Based on age and geography. Like I said earlier, I never said men can't find dates on dating sites. I said the gender ratio can make it more difficult for younger men.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 175
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/22/2014 2:52:40 PM

There is something pathetic about men who hide behind unsubstantiated non facts to soften the blows to their self esteem.

To many, it's curiousity and seeing the differences from site to site. You can actually substantiate it, as I have countless times. Log out before a search (so it doesn't filter you out by age & other criteria). On this site, in the late 20s-40 range, it's a pretty big ratio difference. On Match, a pay site, it's smaller.

And you don't count the users with a non-deleted account -- you count the active users within 24 hrs.

It's more like 45 women to 50 men.

Depends what site. But for Match? No, not that close. Here? 42-52 years old -- which ratios get more even in the young column and the old column -- in this mid-sized city area: 391 Females, 653 Males online within 24 hours. This site has a bigger ratio difference compared to others. On small, niche sites you'll either see a very even ratio or one skewed in one direction (usually guys).

Also, if so few women OLD, then there must be millions elsewhere pairing off with males. Bars, etc. must have 50 females for every male

No... many people don't have to go out to bars vs online. And if there are any bars like that, let me know. :)

Hint, there are not less females than males.

Existing in the US & Canada? Pretty much true. Slightly more females, but we can just discount that as it's a decimal of a %. That doesn't mean there's just as many active females on a dating website or at any given bar. There are many people out there, men & women, who don't do much of either.

Another hint, just about every one pairs off.

The discussion's about Online matchmaking sites, and the gender ratio of who actively uses them. Not how many people are out on the planet.

Here's a unsubstantiated, and actually Proven False claim: Women on average sleep with less men than men on average sleep with women. They're going to be Equal if the same # of men & women exist.

But ONLINE, or any other particular area or demographic? That may be a different story.
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