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 Touchdown Bundy
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 26
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im dating, but im lonely..Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
If the guy's not ready for intimacy, then why the hell is he out dating? Dump him.


smack him and tell him to stop being a fag


A post that actually made me lol.

Women have these incredibly developed instincts, they know when something is wrong, but they ignore it because they want things to work out. Usually leading to more pain and heartbreak than having just followed their intuition.
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 27
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:50:56 PM
I don't think he is ready for a relationship yet. If he is emotionally unavailable I'm wondering why is he dating.
 knothippy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 28
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:59:58 PM
"I pick tomorrow , Jan 2, to officially be National Good Men day.....
but then I'm picking Jan 3 to officially be National Good Women day...
then Jan 4 to be National Bad Boys and The Women That Love Them Day!!
We should all be covered then!! "

Give Dave his day and add another one:
National Nasty Women and The Men That Love Them Day
 crissylynn38
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 29
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:03:53 PM
I sooooooooooooooo agree move on hes not ready.
 Sefra
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 30
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:08:00 PM
Sundays_ are_ok
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 31
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:10:48 PM
I like him and want to continue, but I want romance and he is not providing that part of the relationship. He tells me he's just not ready and won't talk any more about it. Also, how do I get him to talk about it and tell me when he's ready without being pushy?
I'd state that I seek a relationship that grows intimacy not only in intellectual, spiritual, and emotional ways but also in physical ways. If any parts of this intimacy development is squelched, the relationship will not function, and I will want to seek all these aspects with someone else. It's a fair discussion topic. However, it seems you guys aren't on the same page as it comes to relationship availability and what you both are currently seeking. It's best just to have a frank discussion about your expectations, let the chips fall where they may, and get to the fork in the road sooner rather than later. As far as not being pushy, I wouldn't be concerned that this dude feels you're "pushy" if you have a frank discussion about intimacy as I have proposed. That's being genuine and you aren't delivering an ultimatum, you're explaining your expectations. Good luck ~cuddleme~.
 Sefra
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 32
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:11:09 PM
Dear cuddleme,

I was in your boyfriend's frame of mind once... the guy that I was seeing didn't so much as get a kiss for an ENTIRE YEAR... even though we hung out every day. I wouldn't even let him hold my hand.

Did I like him? Yes. But, emotionally, I was incapable of reaching out due to the untimely death of my fiance.

Be patient.... this guy will appreciate it at the end....he is hurting..

30 days is NOT a long time.

 DaveB951
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 33
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im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:18:25 PM
To all the thoughtful, warm hearted, loving, caring, unselfish and understanding women that voted to give me my Man Day, I sooooooo thank you from the very bottom of my heart. You have made my new year day a wonderful and joyous occasion and I can now face the new year with hope, love and the respect that I truly deserve

NOW................looky here....... if you really, really wanna make my new years........... C`mon over and clean my house and cook me dinner baby

xxx ooo
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 34
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im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:18:51 PM

but then I'm picking Jan 3 to officially be National Good Women day...

Noppers. Sorry. Nada. Ain`t gonna happen. Fa-geta-bout-it.

EVERYDAY is already womans day cuz all us MEN go soooo out of our way to make women happy and to make women feel special every single day.....

I`m just ask`n for one freaking day to be set aside to honor us damned if we do / damned if we don`t MEN.

ONE STINK`N DAY !


oh ok.......then u can have April 1st

National Nasty Women's Day?
Don't they make everyday THEIR day anyways?!!
 wantinglove81
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 35
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:21:57 PM
to be honest id have to agree with packagedealx3 and a few others here :( sorry hun its the world we are in now
 DaveB951
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 36
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im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:22:54 PM
oh ok.......then u can have April 1st

OK.... thats it ! You are officially on my doo doo, ka ka, poo poo list



 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 37
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im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:25:19 PM
See what u get for being selfish......
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 38
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:34:40 PM
I am really good at putting myself in another person's shoes and having hindsite, in which I do, but talking is essential. This man that I am involved with doesn't like to talk and says that I am communicating too quickly. He told me that he doesn't like it and I have to slow down and give him some time and space. I have to respect his need for space and see what he wants from out relationship. He hopefully respects effort to communicate with him and realizes that I really do care about him.
 howbigisyourlove
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 39
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:46:39 PM
TALK TALK TALK .. women on this site need an education in men... men who are into you heavy duty in the beginning of a relationship want to connect on the level that makes them feel great about YOU .. and that is sex.. sorry gals but you can talk till the cows come home and if a guy is not interested he will act just like this guy is .. NOT INTERESTED...
Everyone in this thread is full-o-bull.... this guy is totally not interested in you ...at all.
The first thing that crosses the brain of a man that is really interested is that he wants to jump your bones... and this guy is not into you.. and you better move on because if he has no desire it ain't gonnah happen.
GO OUT TO A BAR AND WATCH MEN WATCHING WOMEN ...They ain't got the bible study and tea and crumpet look in their eye balls ....k..
Usually if the right chemistry is there and it is extremely strong he doesn't even need to touch you to tell you thru his eyes he wants to bang you .. called eye fu-ck.. and if you don't feel that from a man .. get out and get out now.
Why be in a relationship of no passion and no desire ... when a guy is into you he will be jumping around like a horn dog to see you ... if he doesn't absolutely adore you and believe the earth stopped when he spotted you .. it will never work.
Stop listening to everyone say that he is indecisive .. men always know what they want, and if he doesn't then he is a woman.. guys are very , very sure about what they want.
Not one guy .. shy or scared or shaking in his boots ever stopped pursuing the love of a woman where he saw in her what he felt in himself.
THIS GUY IS NOT INTO YOU OR YOU WOULD HAVE TO PULL HIS HANDS OFF YOU WHEN YOU are KISSING. |YOU WOULD FEEL THE STRENGTH IN HIS BRAIN OF HOW YOU TURN HIM ON.. ... THIS IS A NO BRAINER .. HE DOES NOT HAVE THE HOTS FOR YOU.. and stop wasting time ... go find a guy who is so hot for you he can't stand himself, and he is jumping out of his skin to be your man .

Stop telling her that he is emotionally drained or whatever .. that is bull cah cah... Men despite what women perceive .. KNOW EXAC TLY HOW THEY FEEL AND KNOW EXACTLY WHETHER THEY DESIRE SOMEONE... women have a problem here in that they believe that men think like them and nope .. men do not waiver when it comes to what turns them on .. if she is not getting advances he is not interested in her at all.

When a guy thinks he has the prize of the century he is sitting in his car on your next date and from then on... looking suave and trying to remain calm and look sexy and waiting to see you move his way and he is always looking in your eyes goin .. "holy fu-ck " man oh man how did I get so f'in lucky!!! ( sometimes he will try to remain in eye contact driving which can have its perils, but these are the signs of someone who is where he wants to be. ) If you don't have that .... walk sexy to the next available representative.

( He needs to have this as well. so staying in this merry go round is not good for either of you .. as you are giving yourself less than what either of you should. You can't make a desire where none exists ... it needs to be there or it is not worth the charade. Passion feeling passion is necessary to engage in good sex or .. you basically offer yourselves less than what you could have as you are not into each other .)
 urkidding
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 40
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:58:43 PM
I would drop him, like the previous post he's not into you. . and smack him and tell him to stop being a fag for wasting your time, sounds like he is wating for you to go ahead
and dump him. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but he is not ready for you. Your too young to waste your time on this one . Good luck.
 Tammy the cat
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 41
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:59:13 PM
OP/everyone is different an goes at their own pace,progressing at their comfort pace.He has just come out of a divorce an surely isnt going to hurry an jump into the next one.Maybe he would like to take his time an not commit unless he is really sure.Credit him with being honest an not trying to lead you on.Just how much do you like this guy?To let him be himself an progress at his own pace?Maybe a talk on general issues with him to get his standing on things or reasons,like he not looking to jump from the frying pan an into the fire,without being sure first.If he gets more affectionate with you,you want those feelings to be genuine for you,dont you?1 month isnt that long really.
 howbigisyourlove
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 42
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:02:47 PM
Sorry ^^^^ Tammy ... when a guy is hot for a woman there is no way, no pace .. he is saying it with his eyes, it will actually cause a woman to bow her head in shyness from his intenseness in his look for her .. it is something natural and very real ... men know what they want... he will be ready to say "I do " asking her what time it is ... a guy knows exactly what he wants when the right one is in his scope..
Women waiver... men never ... guys don't operate initially on a depth level of emotional communication .. they look at what they want to get really close to .. they are action oriented.. sex for men is close connection .. it makes them feel very close to their woman.. this guy is not into the OP.. and she needs to leave this raw but real situation now.
Doesn't matter about the relationship being one month old... is she is the one he wants .. he should be just about ready to rupture thinking about her by now.. he will build a crescendo .. for this one .. not sit on simmer .. nope he is not interested.. Have any of you gals ever been in a relationship with the proper chemical / mental attractions? Haven't you ever looked at people with long term relationships who still have it .. they have this energy .. that you say to yourself , "gees I'd like me some of that!"
A man who meets a gal that sends him round the bend and feels the reciprocity never forgets this and will take on the planet to protect what he wants. His brain is completely into her.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 43
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im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:15:31 PM
I think I agree with HowBig.... I don't think he's interested enough... and if I'm not having a sexual relationship with a man I am going to date others... I can be the type to focus on one guy but I have found out that you just can't do that.... you need to keep looking... date new prospects... you can't pressure him anymore then you'd want a man to pressure you to sleep with him... it will only make you crazy... there are so many men out there keep looking....
 Eclipxi
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 44
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:16:48 PM
A little over a month and you already want it all...
Personally, I don't think you'll ever be content...ever.

Have you ever dated someone that wanted so much out of you so soon?
And what did you do-you started chanting something about "No-meaning No" didn't you?

If this person wanted to use you for sex-and was being an all around "a-hole"-you'd be crying and whinning about that.

I guess the script has been flipped on you-you've met someone who wants to take it slow and isn't ready for something more yet. Listen to the advise that you've probably given to others-only now it's pointed at you: "You have to respect a person's right to say 'no' ".

...now see what it's like on the other end?

Eclipxi
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 45
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:17:20 PM

men always know what they want, and if he doesn't then he is a woman.. guys are very , very sure about what they want. Not one guy .. shy or scared or shaking in his boots ever stopped pursuing the love of a woman where he saw in her what he felt in himself.


I'm going to have to politely disagree with you there.


While men can be similar in some ways, they still can be different in others.

At the time they may THINK they know what they want. Guys can still be affected emotionally by divorce even though they might not show it.


TALK TALK TALK .. women on this site need an education in men... men who are into you heavy duty in the beginning of a relationship want to connect on the level that makes them feel great about YOU .. and that is sex.. sorry gals but you can talk till the cows come home and if a guy is not interested he will act just like this guy is .. NOT INTERESTED...


After I finished reading that, I'm inclined to agree with you and by that I just mean mostly the statement above.

Some men are fully capable of having control over their hormones and can you believe this, want a serious, loving relationship!
 KLM_08
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 46
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im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:19:57 PM
Wow. Just wow. Threads like this and the responses they contain make me so glad I have given up dating. DaveB was onto something with his first post - that's for sure!

OP - your guy was straight up and told you he's " not ready for anything more then a simple kiss and holding hands" - but did he say exactly why? Did you ask him? Do you know how quickly things moved in his prior relationship(s)? For all you know, this guy could just take a while to feel comfortable and close enough to move things to a more physical level. On the other hand, maybe he does still have some issues to work out from his most recent relaionship, in which case you may have to decide whether you think he is worth it or whether your need for more physical intimacy is more important. Bottom line, talk to him, not us and decide for yourself what your real priorities are.
 cinderella911
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 47
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:25:24 PM
I didn't realize he was just going through a divorce until I read tlm92... s post.
Op you should be greatful he is taking his time, this means you are not just a rebound thing and he actully maybe likes you more than you realize..and by doing this he is respecting you,, there are some great guys out there and by waiting to have sex he maybe in for the long haul,, "be greatful you found one of those,, so many want all or nothing,,
 howbigisyourlove
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 48
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:28:32 PM
sorry cooldude ... if a guy is completely into a woman he will want to show her how much he she means to him and for men that is the rocky road of the horny toad. I am not saying she needs to respond to the advances .. I am saying his brain and body will be telling her that she is doing it for him .. and if he is not .. and she is still trying she is only going to make herself sick .. as any woman should be able to tell by the physical responses of the man if he is into her ...... do any of you gals have a problem seeing a good eye fu-ck... if he is not telling you with his eyes ... he is not telling you with his little eye either... guaranteed. A guys left retina will tell you his limbic wants to smackah your delights.. most of you gals need a good education in the physiological and psyche responses of men and vice versa....
When a guy is really into you it should send you some waves that are very strong .. and should make you feel uncomfortable .. like maybe a holey fu-ck I gottah get out of here feeling.. strong feelings of sexual attraction are the strongest the species has .. they will be debillitating if they occur... ask anyone that is in a really hot marriage and they will tell you that this feeling is there and they get embarrassed if someone asks really .. it makes them uncomfortable to talk about their mate because that kind of hot never goes away.. it is there and it is scary if it has never happened to you before. But it has to be there to have lifelong passion of sustained and pleasurable mating and lifelong great sexual intimacy and of course romance.. hey have a look at how Obama looks at his wife.. Man I would kill to have a man look at me that way!!!

He is not ready and even if he was ..............it ain't YOU >>>>> or it would be working for yahs... He wants to craddle you .. cuddle you , caress you , hold your head in his hands , watch you in the grocery store, touch your hair, smell the side of your face, look at your lips... and wonder how friggin lucky he got...
RUN girl and wait for the guy that is living in Now and goes WOW when you cross his path in your life story.
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 49
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:31:53 PM
I am suddenly happy I am an alien (ET phone home). I am not the man these ladies are describing, and didn't go horndogging for the first skirt after my separation. I'd hate to think that makes me gay, or effeminate. I dance better than a lot of guys, too, and the accusations are starting to pile up. Maybe I should start sending naked photos of myself to rebuild my self-esteem and integrity.
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 50
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:40:07 PM

sorry cooldude ... if a guy is completely into a woman he will want to show her how much he she means to him and for men that is the rocky road of the horny toad. I am not saying she needs to respond to the advances .. I am saying his brain and body will be telling her that she is doing it for him .. and if he is not .. and she is still trying she is only going to make herself sick .. as any woman should be able to tell by the physical responses of the man if he is into her ...... do any of you gals have a problem seeing a good eye fu-ck... if he is not telling you with his eyes ... he is not telling you with his little eye either... guaranteed.


The biggest thing I've noticed especially here, a tendency to place people in two groups....male or female, instead of being individuals.

Men do this.....women do that. I can tell you right now. It does not always work that way.

Not all men/women are the same....

While men may be physically attracted to someone does not mean they will always want to jump into bed with them at a moments notice.
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