Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Spiritual Cutie
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 57
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?Page 3 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
I've read pretty much all of the comments and I agree with the thinking that Jaxi said to bigmomma. It should be giving support also to the ones that have gone through many struggles but darn love is blind and we at times don't know where it will lead.
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 58
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/8/2009 11:20:52 AM
I had my second child at the age of 23 and I felt far better equipped than for my first one. For me, it had to do with already having an experience of being a mother, knowing which bits I could do with doing differently etc. And I have heard from some women who became mothers for the first time around the age of 30 and they found it quite difficult.
But overall, yes I am of course far more mature than back in my early 20s and mentally more fit to be a mother. Physically - not so sure, I had problems already in my 20s with my second one. I know two women who became mothers for the first time at the age of 40 and one had to have hormonal injections given for the whole duration of her first pregnancy and her second child was born prematurely. The other woman's child was born with an orthopaedic problem (legs in some sort of apparatus).


I have to agree with this -
I'm a better mother at 23 than I was when my son was a born, but really...she's my second, regardless of my age. I know what's going on now. I don't have to worry about stigma from anyone I give a rat's a** about, and I'm more confident in my mothering abilities in general. I did my research into what I feel is right with my first, so I'm more educated now.
The same thing has been echoed by mothers of ALL ages....better parenting generally comes with subsequent children.
I'm sure maturity plays a role, but everyone has a different starting point. If you're relatively mature at 18, added maturity at 40 wouldn't make an impact on your ability to be a parent. Whereas, relative immaturity could make a huge impact.
I could have been a better parent if I was more mature, I'm sure. But my son is absolutely fine, and I was, by no means, ever a *bad* parent.

I read this when the thread first started and I just noticed it again and I have to comment:


I guess I don't understand this statement. How can kids NOT make the responsible decision NOT to have sex? Kids/teenagers are not stupid. They hear the statistics. They have sex education classes in school. Where are THEIR parents when it comes to morality issues?


Kids/teenagers ARE stupid. I love how people tend to flip-flop on the amount of intelligence they're willing to give younger people. When it suits them, youth are morons. When it suits them, youth are mature, mini-adults.
As a teenager, I was a flipping idiot. Statistics mean nothing to a kid/teenager, because it will *never* happen to them. Besides the fact that you may be overestimating the quality of sex ed that's reaching children.
Biologically, it's not uncommon for teenager's decision making capabilities to not be completely developed, but they're overloaded with the charge to make their own responsible decisions. Scary, scary combination.
Then you've got the parents who won't let their children mature so they can *protect,* them, and are totally surpised when the child makes an immature decision.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 59
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:03:59 PM
So many young men are not held accountable for what they do. Alot of them won't step up to the plate and take responsibility for the children.

I still see too many men in their 30s and 40s at home with their mommy and mommy still spoon feeding(supporting) them.
 pirate72
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 60
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:05:47 PM

Kids can't make the responsible decision not to have sex


See, to me, therein lies the crux of the matter: the erroneous belief that teens must practice abstinence, that it is the ONLY responsible decision. Teens are going to have sex. There is no way around that, and anyone who thinks differently is burying their head in the sand. The RESPONSIBLE thing, as a parent, is to educate your children about sex, contraception, and disease LONG before they learn about it either in junior high or the hard way. The more people try to shove abstinence down their kids' throat, the more likely they are to rebel, and the less inclined they'll be to have open, honest discussions about what's troubling them with their parents.
 pirate72
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 61
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:08:16 PM

The guys have kids too - they just dont take care of them!


Excuse me?!? Bitter-sexist-manhater much?
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 62
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:16:23 PM

The more people try to shove abstinence down their kids' throat, the more likely they are to rebel, and the less inclined they'll be to have open, honest discussions about what's troubling them with their parents.


I agree 100%. Growing up in a Baptist home and Christian schools, there was no sex education, other than being told not to do it.
I wasn't necessarily "rebelling" when I started having sex. I was at the typical age where people begin making their own decisions, and I was "in love" with my boyfriend who was also raised the same way. I wasn't even sure how sex worked, much less how to prevent pregnancy. And, there was no WAY I could get on the pill. My mother would have fallen over dead.
We thought withdrawal was the best birth control method ever!
Like the saying goes - You can tell your children to stay away from the pool, but don't forget to teach them to swim!
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 63
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:56:23 AM
Ok.. OP.. are you ready.. this is a tough one..

We had sex.. to young.. and didn't take proper precautions or had it not work, or thought we were in love, got married to young and it didn't work out.

I know that's a lot to understand.. Do you need a break now???

Sheesh...
 luckycharm89
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 64
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:01:13 PM

Excuse me?!? Bitter-sexist-manhater much?


What, can't handle the truth?
 worldclassman
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 65
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/11/2009 5:41:38 PM
Good old fashioned family values have been tossed out the window in the past few decades. That is why we have the problems we have today.
 mommie.marcie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 66
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/11/2009 9:23:56 PM
age aint nothing but i number. i can promise you me and my son, have been thru more then you will your whole life
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/13/2009 10:02:45 AM
for a lot of reasons, some women mature more rapidly then boys, so i think some younger women are ready to have children, and make the mistake of choosing a a boy to get pregnant with.....maybe in the hopes of the boy growing up, this is where it goes wrong, the boys run for the hills, do not live up to there responsabilities and the young woman is left with a dead beat dad
 blilly82
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 68
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/13/2009 3:27:14 PM
Well, i am a 26 yr old with a 2 1/2 yr old son. Things happen and when you're caught up in the moment, you may not sometimes think about what could happen. I did and stopped alot of times, but it took one time not to think about what could happen to me. now i am a single mom. that's something i have to deal with and enjoy what i have. i love my son and wouldn't trade him for anything in this world. not even a million dollars.

sometimes young girls may think that the father is going to stand there by their side. well, not too many do. my sons father did the same thing. when i was 8 months pregnant he told me in my kitchen that we were not together, and probably not ever going to be together.

you can't down someone for having a child at a young age. instead people need to tell them that they are still a good person.
 Artimesia1
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 69
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:39:07 PM
Marknbaltimore
I had to comment on what you said. You are a true gentleman and must be a great Dad. I hope you find someone wonderful in your life. You certainly deserve it!
 aniceman2009
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 70
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/14/2009 6:55:46 AM
simply because age 18- 22 usually meet with almost same age. They might not sure how it will go, are they able to continue or not and even though that they are not careful. The second man might appear in her life might be Mr right, but at the same time, Is he ready to be the kids Dad? he might think he will be or try or do his best.
I would say if she is young it is better for her to be careful in her early age until she is certain of how it will go otherwise she will understand me when she is 40 yrs old.
 aniceman2009
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 71
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/14/2009 7:58:07 AM
torquoise pixie
I understand, but why they do not take more time to have a better chance. It is not easy for kids to be raised up by a man not their Dad, but it hurts them if their dad does not ask about them and hurts more and more if he lives in town, it happens. Why all of that, because they were in hurry. The person who pay the expensive bill are the kids and their mam later.
 aniceman2009
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 72
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/14/2009 11:27:20 AM
I am sorry if sounding to judge people but I am speaking in general not to specific cases it might be different. But I believe kids with the two parents are better with exceptions. Regretting is a sensitive issue we could say if a single mom got a baby from her partner after few months or so then discovered that it will not work and ended as a single mom and she should look for a good man match with her and their kids, Next if we asked her that time will go back and you know what will happen, are you going to find another person or will keep going even you know the result. i believe if it will happen that most ladies will say If I know I will not be involved with this guy, sounds good, but no one will be able to know the future nor going back on time to fix up, so the best way to be just careful, and this message for girls without any regretting if did not happen.
 loft222
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 73
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/14/2009 10:55:36 PM
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that they had sex, got pregnant, and felt they were able to raise a child? Seems like a good answer anyway. What always amazes me about these questions and they are usually presented by men.....what do you think made them a single mother? Not all of us are Nadya Suleman....for most of us it too good old fashioned sex and a man....a man that refuses to take his share of responsibility and simply walks away because he "can't handle it" or some goofy reason like that.
 OkieRebel1980
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 74
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/15/2009 1:14:08 PM
First of all. Your premise of 'old fashioned views' is totally wrong. My own mother was married and pregnant at 17. That was in 1964. My grandmother on my fathers side had her first child at 20, again married and settled. On my mothers side, it was 16; also married and settled. Both my grandmothers stayed married to the same man their entire lives. My mother divorced that man and married my own father ten years later. It has long been common for women to bear children at a 'young' age. The belief that people should wait until their late twenties or early thirties is a "new-fashioned belief". What bothers me, similar to you, is the alarming number that have never been married that are mothers; especially when it's plain from the pictures that multiple fathers are involved. Seems to me that they haven't figured out what causes that situation. Divorce and un-wed sexual relationships are the culprits to your quandry. Barring those situations, they wouldn't be on here at all!
 Yaotzen
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 75
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/15/2009 1:36:28 PM
There was a short essay we had to read last year in college... 'Not All Men Are Sly Foxes' by Armin A. Brott. I'll even provide you with a link to Newsweek's online version. Check it out. http://www.newsweek.com/id/118260

It basically says that we teach this behaviour to our children, that fathers "don't exist."
 babygirl_meli21
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 76
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/15/2009 6:32:48 PM
That mostly has to do with the other part of that equation...if you're going to ask this question why don't you ask the question "Where are the fathers to these children?" at the same time. A woman who is a single parent at a young age is yes unfortunate but obviously there is a man out there somewhere who added to that situation to procreate. People women and men need to think about who they sleep with and the consequences of that action before they do it. Also BIRTH CONTROL PEOPLE! Single mothers should be commended for being proud of taking care of their children. Any woman who is ashamed of their children should be ashamed of herself first. I believe as long as men live up to their duties we wouldn't have so many single mothers.
 aniceman2009
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 77
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:23:11 AM
so why exactly are you even interested in this topic?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do YOU ASK?!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Boo1988
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/16/2009 3:29:48 PM
Thankyou, somone that is actually making sense! I'm 20 and single and i do a god damn good job at raising my son! I dont screw the system and i work extremely hard! I didnt ask to be put in this situation but i wouldn't change it for the world! Yes it's extremely hard but its worth it.
 SouthernGuy1960
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 79
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/16/2009 3:33:59 PM
boo1988; I hope you do Not use curse words in front of your son. Thats not what I would consider a good job. JMO
 mizz_megan
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 80
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:30:26 AM
okay you cant deny you had sex young
if we get pregnant would you like us to abort it?
because to me im pretty sure my child is better off with me then dead or with another family thanks
 Confident247
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 81
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:36:55 PM
OP,

*Some women at a early age want a kid so some get pregnant on purpose
*Some men refuse to use condoms and to women will let them
*Some men and women believe if he pull out in time then they want get pregnant
*Some women do not take birth control
*Some women tell men they're on birth control even though they are not
*Some people do not put the condom on right so it increases the chances of it breaking
*Some men lie about putting on a condom
*Some condoms are manufactured wrong
*Some condoms ware out because they are old or left in the hot glove department of the car
*Some are couples that want to have a baby
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?