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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?      Home login  
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 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 584
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?Page 33 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)

I guess my difficulty is the "any old role models will do" attitude, that makes it so easy to dismiss the importance of a solid family.


Not quite. In the absence of a loving spouse-bio-parent in the family, male role models are selected quite carefully.
I would not take any dude off the street and ask him to "be there as a role-model" for my children.

My childrens male role models consist of my Father, my Mothers new Husband, my Significant Other, and my late Husband's family members, Close friends & colleauges, our pastor and the fathers who volunteer for our church. These are amazing people who have much to offer a child in the way of love and guidance.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 585
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 7/30/2012 6:22:40 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess my difficulty is the "any old role models will do" attitude, that makes it so easy to dismiss the importance of a solid family
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If this were true there wouldn't be so many single unattached women.. It's not hard to meet a man and be with him, what's hard is meeting man with substance who you have something in common with, get along with and can fall in love with and having him reciprocate those feelings. That is the problem regardless of parental status.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 586
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 7/31/2012 5:02:49 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The problem is that too many women end up missing out on a lot of "men with substance" because they ended up with a loser in the first place...
Maybe if more women were a bit more discerning in who they pick, sleep with and or get impregnated by, they'd spend less time with a loser, or as a single mom raising a loser's kid(s)... and have more time to meet that "man of substance" and not have the problems in the first place...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perhaps.. but i know just as many childfree single women as I do those with kids and actually know more married or remarried single moms then I do childfree women. So it seems the trouble is finding a match rather then it having to do with your parental status.
 love_neverfails
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 587
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 7/31/2012 11:36:11 PM
Yes, there are quite a few of us young single mothers out there. I was 18 when I got pregnant. I could have had an abortion and killed an innocent person. I could have put him up for adoption instead of being the bigger person and raising him on my own. The guy I was with wasn't necessarily a loser, either. He was much older than I and actually recently divocred because he and his wife were unable to have children. When we found out I was pregnant, we discussed the options and, at the time, I was leaning more towards having an abortion and continuing with my life. But there was a little voice in the back of my head that kept telling me to keep the baby. So I did. We fought endlessly over it and he turned out to be a cruel person, saying things that should never be said to anyone. Yes, I live with my parents because it would be incredibly irresponsible of me to live on my own on my salary and "mooch off the system", because that's clearly what ALL young single mothers do. No, I just know my limitations and my parents have never once told me that they feel I'm taking advantage of them by living here. I don't leave my son other than when I go to work so it's not like I go out and party every weekend and am a drunk, slobbering mess. I do work a full-time job. I do put in the hours and it is rough. There are so many days that I wonder if I made the right decision. Then I come home to my son and all my questions are answered. Yes, I did.
No, I was NOT content to becoming a mother at such a young age but who dares turn their back on a miracle? Some of the best things in our lives are completely unplanned, yet do we scorn it because society says we are too young? No? I didn't think so.
 judgeliz
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 588
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/3/2012 1:04:23 AM
The problem is that too many women end up missing out on a lot of "men with substance" because they ended up with a loser in the first place...
Maybe if more women were a bit more discerning in who they pick, sleep with and or get impregnated by, they'd spend less time with a loser, or as a single mom raising a loser's kid(s)... and have more time to meet that "man of substance" and not have the problems in the first place... ~m_church~


^^^That's quite an interesting theory that is not at all related to the thread title...but since you went there let's take that arguement and spin in and turn it into an entirely different direction.
The problem is that there are way too many young men who have not had adequate role models in their lives.
If we were to disect the issue and really look into the problem, I would say that even now society excuses young men from their "indiscretions" even if a girl were to become pregnant.
Gone are the shotgun weddings (we should seriously think about shotgun child support hearings though) and so are the honourable intentions when it comes to men treating women like ladies.
Instead our society is still condoning boys, by letting them use and and allow them to continue treating young girls like whores. Who pays?...YOU...and ME...Trust me in the end peeps...these kids we are raising in this generation will be responsible for our rights and care
They will pass down their hate and disrespect to the next generatiion..and the next...The attitude HAS to change!
I certainly hope all you guys have enough money stashed for a good retirement home to make sure that the attitude you guys continue to perpetuate does not come back to literally bite your ass when your older because your sitting in your filled up diapers...
Before you judge church...look into the mirror, because I am quite certain that your mother, grandmother would not like the terms or implied comments you have made on this thread.
Single Parents account for 1/3 of the voting population. I wonder how the vote will shake out in the next 25 years if people continue to refer to mother's as being "loosers" because they made the choice to keep their baby.
Meet your next generation peeps...the numbers are great and the annomosity is continually perpetuating!
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 589
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/3/2012 5:31:59 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, how is a "married or remarried single mom" a single mom??????? Once they are married or remarried they are by definition no longer "single"....
~~~~~~~~~
Really???

They were a single mom prior to be married right??? So OBVIOUSLY a good man found her worthy of dating and she found him worthy of marrying. I kinda of thought that would be obvious. If I get married then I was a single mom who found a good man.

~~~~~~~~
Maybe the single childless ones are smarter and more discerning in their choices...
~~~~~~~
Or just plain lucky.
Sigh.. just because you have something against single moms, doesn't mean every man feels that way.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 590
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History
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:43:03 PM

My question if anyone knows the statistics is how many single parents are able to dig their way out in time? how many continue to use the system? and what can we do to support them so this is possible for more of them?


Likely very few. Not because they're lazy or bad people, or whatever, but because there really are not many good jobs left in this country. The IRS says that almost 50% of fulltime workers in the USA make so little that they are exempt from paying federal income tax.

The Federal government has a 'poverty line' set an an income level they claim is the upper level of poverty. The problem is, its a lie. The Federal Poverty Line is set artificially low to hide the true extent of poverty. Going by that falsified number, the government can claim poverty is only about 10% of the US population.

The Federal Tax Code is more realistic, exempting people from paying taxes due to poverty at much higher income levels that reflect the real cost of living, and going by that, the real poverty rate is about 45% in the United States. That's across the whole population, not just among single parents.

You want people off welfare? Push politicians for a realistic minimum wage that allows working people with fulltime jobs to support themselves and their families. The Minimum wage in Santa Fe, New Mexico was raised to $10 an hour several years ago, despite constant threats and screeching from business interests that they'd just fire all their workers. Well guess what, they didn't fire anyone. Unemployment actually dropped in Santa Fe after the wage was increased because people could afford to spend more money and it brought more customers to businesses, who then needed more workers.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 591
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2012 6:15:44 PM
^^^^^^
Unfortunately, I agree with you. This pertains to everyone regardless of parental status. It's true about the cost of living. An independent study in NJ illustrated by you have to make around 40K to cover basic cost of living there.

Government working hard for us huh. I agree with the minimum wage thing. 10 bucks can't even cover basic costs in most states, but it's better then the 7 dollars it is now.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 592
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 8/4/2012 6:30:11 PM
Unfortunately, I agree with you. This pertains to everyone regardless of parental status. It's true about the cost of living. An independent study in NJ illustrated by you have to make around 40K to cover basic cost of living there.

Government working hard for us huh. I agree with the minimum wage thing. 10 bucks can't even cover basic costs in most states, but it's better then the 7 dollars it is now.


Very true. Santa Fe has some of the highest housing costs in the country, especially when you consider that it is really a small town, not a major city. Santa Fe only has about 60,000 people, same as little Indiana towns like Muncie and Kokomo. I lived out there for a few years, before returning to Indiana because of my son. I am back in my hometown, a city of 250,000. In Santa Fe, one bedroom apartments started at $800 a month, and that was in the Barrio (that's Spanish for the bad high-crime section of town). In Fort Wayne, Indiana a one bedroom apartment in a nice complex is $400 a month, and you won't have to worry about gang shootings or drug dealers. (If you like gangs and drugs, Ft. Wayne has an area full of those things and rents are even cheaper there!).

$10 an hour is not enough in Santa Fe. Even in Fort Wayne a single person with no children would not really be able to make it on that. The city government here concedes that an individual here needs $11 an hour to survive. Add $10,000 a year for every other person in the household. Single parent with one kid needs a little over $30,000 in Ft. Wayne, and keep in mind that among cities, Ft. Wayne has nearly the lowest cost of living! New Jersey is much worse; your $20 an hour figure is probably spot-on.
 bobbycllhn
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 593
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/1/2016 4:23:25 PM
A typical relationship for 20 year olds in this day in age is about the same way kids treat their Chinese made toys. After they have no interest, they throw it away and move onto the next thing. People in my generation unfortunately won't think past 5 days into the future and realise what they have done or what they will be responsible for.
 pro100pk2
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 594
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/12/2016 4:50:55 AM
I think because so many single mothers in this age
because at this age relationship is not serious
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 595
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/24/2016 12:22:15 AM
Why are there so many young single mothers? The more interesting question is - who are the men who got them pregnant, and where are they?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 596
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/24/2016 4:03:58 PM
Reelax- Well, you see, what had happened was..............
She was asleep one night and aliens abducted her.
She tried to leave the ship, but the darn things are tricky.
Next thing ya' know, they let her go, but they had inseminated her and nine months later a baby came out.
OR, there are young single mothers because there are young single men who have sex with them and then leave them to handle the responsibility on their own.
I'm thinking the latter is more likely. :D
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 597
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/25/2016 10:04:59 PM

OR, there are young single mothers because there are young single men who have sex with them and then leave them to handle the responsibility on their own.


That's precisely it. I'm guessing most women 18-22 were not married and filed for divorce, but got pregnant and the dude bailed. So the question could also be: why are so many men irresponsible and have sex without a condom? Aren't they scared to be stuck with child support for 18 years?
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 598
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/26/2016 3:15:19 PM
Women initiate divorce when her lazy irresponsible husband can’t be arsed to get on with it, and she doesn’t want to be legally responsible for him or his debt any longer.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 599
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/26/2016 8:46:43 PM

So are you saying only men are irresponsible? Are you saying only men have the responsibility of using protection to avoid unwanted pregnancy? Are you saying women 18-22 (and often older) are too stupid to protect themselves and ask the man they’re having sex with to use protection too if they don’t want to get pregnant? Are you saying women (regardless of age) bear no responsibility in protecting themselves?
Would you encourage your daughter to have unprotected sex?

That’s how it sounds. If so, I don’t expect you to have the courtesy of answering these questions but I can only hope you are smart enough to realize at some point in time that for being a healthcare professional, a nurse, the line of thinking you display in this thread through your comments let a lot to be desired.


I'm not saying that ONLY men are irresponsible, but the title of the threat seemed to blame "single mothers". Are you a woman? Do you know that most men REFUSE to wear a condom and push their limits to try to get away without one? See the answers from male posters above - condoms "don't feeeel good", so they would prefer to go without. FOr women, it doesn't matter if the guy wears one or not as far as sensation is concerned, in fact, it's much less messy for us if it is on. Hence, I strongly believe (and know from my own experience and those of women I know), that a lot of guys are pushing to go without. I also work with adolescents and hear it a lot from those girls as well. And yes, women are also responsible to use protection, but especially young women are not always on the pill, have an UID or implant, or get Depo shots. And even those can fail - the pill might fail if the woman is using antibiotics or has a stomach bug. Inserting an IUD in woman who has not had children can be very painful, so this is not a good choice for many young women. Depo shots and implants also have a failure rate - small, but still possible. I know someone who got pregnant a month after she got the implant. Long story short - BOTH parties are responsible for protection, and the condom is the only form of birth control that also offers some STD protection. So men should wrap it up, no matter how "sock-like" it feels p if not, be prepared for the consequences. Sorry, I didn't make the rules, nature did.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 600
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/9/2016 4:52:41 PM

A woman would have to be pretty dumb and stupid to get married to a guy who was lazy and irresponsible...


Yeah...but....he has swag and tats....
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 601
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/10/2016 8:27:04 AM
probably due to the fact that they are horny and fvcked a man. If I had to guess..
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 602
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/10/2016 12:40:09 PM

A woman would have to be pretty dumb and stupid to get married to a guy who was lazy and irresponsible...


A man who thinks men show their inner azzhole right out the gate is “pretty dumb and stupid.” ditto for thinking women are ultimately responsible for men’s behavior, as if men are zombie puppets with no control over themselves and no will of their own.

When you approach women for dates/relationships do you warn them that you’re a misogynist who won’t wear a condom and will blame her if she gets herself pregnant? Maybe tat up your forehead with the info. Be sure to include a skull and crossbones, the universal sign for poison.

Oh right……crying about women and the men they choose over you. Snooze.

Nutless crybabies.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 603
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/10/2016 3:01:07 PM
perhaps because younger people tend to be "more" naive..dumb..think that a baby will make the baby daddy love them forever..?
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 604
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History
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 4/28/2016 10:02:29 PM

Reelax- Well, you see, what had happened was..............
She was asleep one night and aliens abducted her.
She tried to leave the ship, but the darn things are tricky.
Next thing ya' know, they let her go, but they had inseminated her and nine months later a baby came out.
OR, there are young single mothers because there are young single men who have sex with them and then leave them to handle the responsibility on their own.
I'm thinking the latter is more likely. :D


I kid you not, I know a single mother who claims that very thing has happened to her!

Several yrs ago, I lived in an apartment in a rather skeezy area while trying to get through my Masters Degree. One of my neighbors was a single woman in her 50s who had a 25 yr old son. This woman weighed about 450lb, had nearly as much facial hair as I do (Ok, I'm kidding, I have a Duck Dynasty beard, but she did have a lot of facial hair!), and she NEVER, ever, EVER bathed. Ever.

She claimed that a few times a year, a UFO would land in the field across the street from the building so the aliens could come to her apartment for sex. She had lived in this apartment for nearly 30 yrs. She believed that her son was fathered by one of the aliens, and she said the visits continued even now, when she was in her 50s.

She wasn't joking, she really believed this stuff!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 605
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 4/29/2016 9:12:49 PM
If we are talking about young single mothers who have not been married then the taxpayer has to contribute to their living expenses and in our country it is resented. Most in that age group (18-22) have not had a legal or official ceremony and no official husband.

Girls know how to prevent pregnancy in this day and age and often it is deliberate that they get pregnant and they have more than one child and live on welfare. Often these girls are not well educated, sometimes obese, on drugs or alcohol, come from disadvantaged homes etc. Not all, but a lot. Occasionally it is as a result of rape or forced sex I imagine. The men that get them pregnant do not like using condoms and I agree it takes two to tango but it is up to the female to take care of herself and insist. The guys involved are sometimes around and contribute something but this is not always made known to the welfare system and they rort it.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 606
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 6/9/2016 11:35:30 PM
I will choose "obvious answers" for 100!
My answer is, "what is bad choices?" Alex!
 Lordbenji
Joined: 6/13/2016
Msg: 607
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 11/20/2016 5:10:39 PM
That's all I see these days, I guess my mother was not joking
crazy thing is they seems to message me (that's all I get) ,I mean Why me? maybe someone can tell me.
 ziggyz89
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 608
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 2/22/2017 5:00:34 AM
Wow I am dealing with this on a day to day basis as a young single (M) 27. There are litters of single mothers that cant take care of their kids and I just wonder if it is like a sick joke from god. This response helped give me some perspective. Nahmaste
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