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 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 5
First meeting someone from OnlinePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
thank you guys, I think that the one woman is right about the social anxiety thing. And its true I havn't really been on a lot of dates and stuff so maybe thats why.
In all honestly I'm nervous because all these people put me on their fav list tell me how pretty I am but no one ever says anything like that in real life....so I don't want them to be dissapointed with me lol. I think thats a big part of it that is why I put I'm a few extra pounds because I am no model body. Ok guys I'm gonna just try it, I hope. Thanks.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 6
First meeting someone from Online
Posted: 1/3/2009 1:59:51 PM
by the way, thanks for all the pointers and help it really helped me realize were all in the same boat! xoxo
 kenfla38
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 7
First meeting someone from Online
Posted: 1/5/2009 1:59:29 PM
I've often run across people who message "too much"... or talk "too much" before meeting... When it comes right down to it, if you're on a "dating site" you're on that dating site NOT to chat or send instant messages... NOT to make "phone buddies" but to ACTUALLY MEET someone who you have an opportunity to have a REAL CONNETION WITH... Too much messaging and/or too many phone conversations before actually meeting someone is NOT GOOD as it allows you to form expectations which the person, face to face, is likely not to be like or live up to.

The Basics:...
Don't message too much... Don't talk too much on the phone prior to meeting face to face... Message/email enough to establish that there's an interest/some commonalities... Talk once, maybe twice BRIEFLY to establish that there's at least a little chemistry and that the other person is capable of having a conversation which interests you... THEN SET A TIME AND PLACE... AND MEET. If it works...If there's chemistry, GREAT!... If not, move on...

Often... too much "messaging"... too many phone conversations... are some people's way of hiding from the possibility of rejection... The internet is great screening mechanism... Screen out those who will definitely or likely "not work" for you, then go out and meet the others... Worst case, you meet someone new, have some interesting conversation, and then move on....

Hope that helps...
 GreenEyesGoldenLocks
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 8
First meeting someone from Online
Posted: 1/5/2009 2:57:57 PM
just a suggestion I know some will read this and get mad.. meet a few you are not very interested in first that way you dont have high expectations.. I dont mean creapy guys but ones who seem nice but not OMG he might be the one. half the time I dont talk on the phone first anyway.. but thats just me. I just hang out in forums now so dont have to worry bout backlash :-)
 electrawiz
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 9
First meeting someone from Online
Posted: 1/5/2009 3:47:54 PM
Hey Cowboy,

Lone hart seems to think you are using some kind of dating Kryptonite. Where are you getting that. Please share your source.
 jonash2007
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 10
First meeting someone from Online
Posted: 1/5/2009 6:55:47 PM
Just make a policy for yourself. For me, it is meet for a drink or coffee ONLY on a first meeting. This is because there have been a few people I met on here that were total liars. Old photos or whatever, it is hard to trust someone on a first meeting, so I approach it with skepticism. It is safer that way. It is also safer to ONLY meet in a public place the first time (like a restaurant/bar.) That way YOU have the choice of stay or go. If he tries to steer away from meeting in public, then you should be suspect. He should gladly meet you in public if he respects you and your concerns. Anything less is not acceptable for a nice lady like you.
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