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 bo_weeks
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 51
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
l think another important thing to note is there isn't any written rule that ones soulmate will be their romantic partner. From my study a soulmate can present themselves in many other areas...mothers, fathers, mentors...the list is endless. The only guarantee is this person will affect your life in a positive way that no one else can.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 54
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 2/13/2009 4:53:53 AM
Personally, I feel that if someone truly loves / is in love with someone....

Then they will feel as though they have their soulmate at times.

Let me share a bit here.

When my gf at the time (future wife) were moving in together, we were unpacking things. Boxes everywhere, small apartment, two young people. Imagine the worst. You have the idea.

Well, she had made a pot of coffee and I had a cup that I was drinking while did the unpacking in the living room and bed room. I came back to where my cup was and couldn't find it. Started looking under/behind boxes, in one room, the other, etc....

She sees me looking around and asks what I was looking for. I told her my cup of coffee. She replied 'Oh, I washed it.'

Well, at the time I didn't know how she was with washing things that sat for more than a moment. Some might find that bothersome and at the time maybe it irked me.

However, through our lives together I learned that this was very much a part of her. Who she was. Part of her soul - so to speak.

I learned this. Knew this. Grew to expect this.

It was not a terrible thing.

There were many of these things that I could tell you about her. How she cried at sad/happy movie endings (I would just reach for the box of tissues). How she felt about her father (she was daddy's little girl). You just learn, know all these things.

As they do with you.

Not all silly things like washing dishes. How you feel when someone talks like a racist, acts like a jerk - they know what you are thinking (e.g. 'boy this person is an #@#$$%#$!")

Soulmates.

She is gone now. I miss her. I would like to have someone else in my life that I can grow together with and love.

This is what I had and miss. That is what I call a 'soulmate'.

If this makes you angry - well, you need to go off and deal with that.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 55
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 2/13/2009 5:00:12 AM
Is "seeking my soulmate" in a profile a turnoff for you?

Yep. Right up there with "my children are my life" (that's assumed); "no games" (zzzzzzz....); walks on beaches/candle-lit dinners and a slew of other no-brainers. I'd rather see some personality in a profile but it does appear (often times) that there might be a template somewhere out there where you that is available for copying/pasting directly into the little white box. www.ProfilesRUs.com maybe. I know it's tough writing original marketing material ~ but imagination leaves a lot to the imagination. JMO
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 56
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 2/13/2009 5:30:57 AM
It is a lil "mushy" for me personally. Also when someone says in a conversation upfront in first meeting you "maybe your my one"....it doesn't have good effect for me...tends to scare me off i guess....puts too much expectation on the conversation upfront for me... being someone's "one" has to be a 2 way street....
 TakingItSlow66
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 57
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 2/13/2009 5:49:09 AM
i would never turn down a soul mate.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 61
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/12/2009 7:41:18 PM
seeking my soulmates personally it sounds kinda cliche...
 Avocado_Peaches
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 63
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/19/2009 1:33:49 PM
I totally agree with miss Lizachka, very often the term "Soulmate" is used in a wrong context. I think that's why for a majority of us it sounds kind of contrite. So, it's safe to say that term should be left out when posting a profile.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 64
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/19/2009 2:27:38 PM
Perhaps the way to view the term soulmate is as a metaphor for someone that shares the same seriousness in finding a long term relationship.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 65
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:50:27 PM
It depends on the context of the profile, although phrased "Seeking my soulmate" as the headline or a strong statement in their profile does send a message that isn't of the best (and given some thought, should not be taken proudly)...

First, who wouldn't say yes, if asked "When you're in a long-term relationship, do you want to be with someone you feel is your soulmate?" Of course it's a Yes, right? That's a given.

So when someone exclaims it in their profile, and they have "Long Term", it's adding more to it than needs to be.

When someone posts it as their main message advertising themselves on a dating website, it says one of three things about them:
- Too cliche-oriented. I'm relationship-minded and I LOVE romantic cliches and romantic comedies! It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy! I love being warm and fuzzy!
- D-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-i-o-n. I am husband/wife hunting. I long for a special relationship SO much. I am so incomplete without someone and I want that someone to be my best friend forever! Please! I'm cliche-oriented person on steroids! Need established relationship NOW!
- Ultra-picky mode. I've got my red pen on ready-5 and I will cross out anyone who remotely seems like they are not perfect for ME. I deserve better! I settle for nothing less than what I deserve, and I deserve everything dammit!
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 66
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/19/2009 5:51:52 PM
^^^^^^^ .... or that.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 70
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/20/2009 8:20:45 AM
I don't think that there's any point in advertising that what you're seeking is a "soul mate" That's rather like saying; "I am looking for the one man in 30,000,000 who will give me the Big O, just by reaching for my hand across time and space with an email"

Who the hell can answer to that?

Hello, my name is George, it came to me in a vision last night while I was at my computer desk and saw your photo that I am YOUR soul mate.

Right. Earth to George, earth to George.

Doesn't work that way people!
 observer902
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 71
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/20/2009 11:05:58 AM

Opinions, pro or con?
1 - Do you state "seeking my soulmate" in your profile?
2 - Do you react positively or negatively, when you see that?
3 - Is "soulmates" a concept so trite as to be worthless, or so spiritual as to be easily abused?


1 - Never had, never will. It's a concept I haven't bought into.

2 - Negatively. when I read that in a profile, I asssume the person doesn't deal in reality, but is seeking a storybook, fantasy "prince".

3 - a concept so trite as to be worthless. It has been overused and abused tot he point where it has become meaningless. It's just a term people throw out there.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 75
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:40:33 PM
Yes - If they believe in soulmates, they probably believe in fairy tales, an superstition. The term soulmate says that the person looking for one is virtually impossible to please unless I can live up to their ideal of a perfect woman. -and chances are they wouldn't live up to be near perfect themselves. I believe there is not exclusively one person in the entire world that I can be compatible with or attracted to, but millions. Two people just have to be willing to make it work is all. I also think people who state in their profile that they are looking for "the one" are essentially as unreasonable. Love should not be so elusive and rare - it should be plentiful and common. -and I'm talking about just a roll in the hay.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 76
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/23/2009 1:02:44 PM
Okay - you 'soulmate' haters win....

Okay, I will re-write my profile. Take out the part about where I use the s-mate word.
K?

Oh yeah, lots of people don't like motorcycles. I better remove that too.
Oh yeah - the thing about liking romance. Cliche - better remove that.
Oh - better not mention my wife in there either - take that out.
Oh and the part about cancer - that too
And this, then that, and, And, AND......

There you have it - an empty profile age, height - Oh wait - someone over there doesn't like tall people.

You know what - I just need to ADD one word to my profile.

[bold] SARCASTIC [/bold]

People life is way too short to get all lathered up about if someone uses a word like soulmate or how. There are many more important things in life. Loose the negativity - you will be far happier and live longer. Even without a soulmate.
 sneeta
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 77
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/25/2009 4:25:23 PM
the 'soul' is perfect...we are human(not perfect) so to say that you are seeking a soulmate is like saying you are looking for the perfect person for you. That is just sooo
unrealistic! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has issues...I dont care how 'perfect' they seem. I believe in taking the time for a perspective relationship to grow..start out as good friends, keep the intimacy out of it until you are really both ready in your relationship for it and either accept the'whole person' or not at all. Its that simple!
soulmate is just another word for "I want the perfect relationship"-period!
 hard starboard
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 78
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:05:37 PM
Only if they are also a Serious Member.
 AndrewJC
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 81
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:00:06 PM
Yes. According to my ex, her best friend married her soulmate and that's all she wanted to do.

After 18 months, she left me for her bosses son who she considered to be her soulmate.

I believe soulmates exist, but for anyone to look for one and actually find it is so rare its not funny.

So when I see a profile that reads looking for soulmate, I don't think silly, I think yes she believes she is looking for one, but the odds of her finding it are very remote to say the least.

I also believe that a relationship will devleop perhaps before she recognises him as a soulmate. But like soo many relationships these days it would more than likely fall on its ass.
 crazy4mars
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 82
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/26/2009 10:59:23 PM
Ok, I'll rewrite my profile to add:
soulmate,
glass half full,
my other half,
loves to laugh,
funloving,
loves to kiss,
good kisser,
knows how to treat a ...
there's too many to list that I don't care for...geesh, originality would be nice..

Andrew...the bosses son? Was there candy involved?
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 83
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/27/2009 4:13:05 PM
I see that as a con. I often think I am not going to be her, because he is looking for a super model or Barbie doll.
 Zdagger
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 84
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/27/2009 9:57:15 PM

Opinions, pro or con?
- Do you state "seeking my soulmate" in your profile?
- Do you react positively or negatively, when you see that?
- Is "soulmates" a concept so trite as to be worthless, or so spiritual as to be easily abused?


1. absolutely not.
2. yes. negatively
3. neither. My concept of a soulmate is a bit different. I believe that you can love even romantically more than one person. I feel that a soulmate is more specific. Kind of like the True Love concept in "The Princess Bride" it's a fairytale and if it is specifically one soul what are you chances of finding this person in one lifetime? nil.
 bama babe
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 85
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/28/2009 6:09:39 AM
I dont take that so seriously...It is a form of speach. At least the seeker is seeking a long term with someone....not just a fly by night...they just seek chemistry like the rest of us....in this fish bowl
 johninsd
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 87
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 3/28/2009 12:21:40 PM
I'll say yes.

I mean, it's implied. Anyone who's "dating" is obviously hoping to meet "The One". But coming out and saying so sets the bar pretty high... most people will think if they're less than a 100% match (in their perception, of course!), they'll be wasting both of your time.

Any given first date should be with the intention of just meeting someone and seeing what you have in common with them. Maybe they'll be a friend, maybe a GF/BF for a while, maybe nothing. But if you look at each first date as, "Is this 'The One'?", you're going to be very disappointed every time, unless you fool yourself into thinking yes, and then find out that they have feet of clay.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 89
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/25/2010 9:15:27 AM
- Do you state "seeking my soulmate" in your profile?
- Do you react positively or negatively, when you see that?
- Is "soulmates" a concept so trite as to be worthless, or so spiritual as to be easily abused?

1. No.

2. Negatively. Not a deal breaker as far as digging into that person is concerned, merely by that alone technically, but an indicator that one just may be around the corner by reading on. But in the least, yes, a turn-off to some degree.

3. It's not a spiritual statement necessarily, so I wouldn't assume that. But it's an indicator of someone wanting to fulfill their Rom-Com needs... that they want to be wanted, (whether or not they end up wanting many people themselves), and feel "empty" merely being single, or felt empty due to the ex still on their mind they broke off with last.

All in all, one would have to prepare themselves for a BF-interview... that things aren't going to be smooth flowing if things aren't exactly on par, including situational circumstances like mood, atmosphere, etc. Also to watch out for is a demand that it's a one-way straight -- they are the panel of judges and you are the contestant -- and they have a me-me-me mindset. Not necessarily all of that so much, but an increased risk that they see it too much like that.

Just mentioning that, but not followed through by wanting-to-find-a-husband emotion, isn't the worst in the world, but just puts up a guard a bit in the very least.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 90
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/25/2010 10:05:16 AM
yes....

especially when they spell it "solemate"!



i'm never sure if the person doesn't know how to spell, or is trying to be "punny" given the name of this site.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 91
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:35:49 AM

especially when they spell it "solemate"!

it means they've lost a shoe and hope you've seen it so they don't have to keep looking. what a loafer!
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