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 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 89
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
- Do you state "seeking my soulmate" in your profile?
- Do you react positively or negatively, when you see that?
- Is "soulmates" a concept so trite as to be worthless, or so spiritual as to be easily abused?

1. No.

2. Negatively. Not a deal breaker as far as digging into that person is concerned, merely by that alone technically, but an indicator that one just may be around the corner by reading on. But in the least, yes, a turn-off to some degree.

3. It's not a spiritual statement necessarily, so I wouldn't assume that. But it's an indicator of someone wanting to fulfill their Rom-Com needs... that they want to be wanted, (whether or not they end up wanting many people themselves), and feel "empty" merely being single, or felt empty due to the ex still on their mind they broke off with last.

All in all, one would have to prepare themselves for a BF-interview... that things aren't going to be smooth flowing if things aren't exactly on par, including situational circumstances like mood, atmosphere, etc. Also to watch out for is a demand that it's a one-way straight -- they are the panel of judges and you are the contestant -- and they have a me-me-me mindset. Not necessarily all of that so much, but an increased risk that they see it too much like that.

Just mentioning that, but not followed through by wanting-to-find-a-husband emotion, isn't the worst in the world, but just puts up a guard a bit in the very least.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 90
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/25/2010 10:05:16 AM
yes....

especially when they spell it "solemate"!



i'm never sure if the person doesn't know how to spell, or is trying to be "punny" given the name of this site.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 91
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:35:49 AM

especially when they spell it "solemate"!

it means they've lost a shoe and hope you've seen it so they don't have to keep looking. what a loafer!
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 92
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:50:51 AM
The concept of a soul mate has not always meant the perfect romantic match. traditionally it meant a person who has a strong influence on your life, for better or worse. Romantically speaking, seeing that in a profile makes me think this person is more concerned with having a romantic relationship and who they are involved with is secondary to that concern.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 93
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:56:17 AM

Opinions, pro or con?
- Do you state "seeking my soulmate" in your profile?
- Do you react positively or negatively, when you see that?
- Is "soulmates" a concept so trite as to be worthless, or so spiritual as to be easily abused?


- No. I don't believe in the concept of a soul, thus "soulmate" is meaningless to me.

- Not either one. Until you actually meet someone, their meaning of the term could be some different things. No point in reacting until you know their meaning of the word.

- Yes. First, it means a "soul" is a real thing, which it is not - it implies religious beliefs, of which I have none. It can also be abused to some degree, but lots of words/phrases/terms can be abused in this manner (like, saying "I love you" for the sole purpose of getting laid).
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 94
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/26/2010 11:32:49 AM
I react negatively. It seems a huge burden to put on another person, and I don't believe in soulmates anyway. I read it as "I want someone to complete me", which I don't think is a healthy attitude in entering an adult relationship.
 umbrellaman21
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 95
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/26/2010 2:40:32 PM
An equivalent turn off for me would be a profile of a woman saying she is looking for "Knight in shining armor to come sweep her off her feet....etc, etc" oh, and she's over 40, LOL.

I would expect that from a 20-something woman, but someone around my age bracket?

Saw this one woman, she must have had a 2 sentence paragraph about how her Knight in shining armor would act as he rides in on his horse.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 96
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/26/2010 4:48:06 PM
As Chris Rock once said..... "All you get in this life is a mate, that's if you're lucky....". I am a realist, i don't associate with people chasing rainbows, unicorns, mighty supernatural zombies or soulmates...

Is it a turn off ? - Hell it's a deal breaker right off the bat!

 kat17s
Joined: 9/28/2010
Msg: 97
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/27/2010 7:48:55 AM
NO, its not a turn off. Everyone is individual in their Own ideas, whether it says looking for my soul mate, or BRAVADO soup.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 98
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/27/2010 9:21:06 AM
I can understand your thinking, but what I think is that it narrows down the group by stating that you are looking for an emotional, intellectual and physical relationship.
Some people are not looking for these things.
Some people just want someone to fill in the blanks of their life, because they already feel they have everything they want. other than a little romance now and then.
I have found this to be true sometimes with people over 50.
The ironic thing about this is that this is the time in your life where you actually know who you are, know what you want and have time to give it the time to develop into a comaradship that is rewarding.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 99
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/27/2010 9:28:00 AM
OP- One cannot "look" for their "soulmate"

it either is there or its not....

the people you are in relationships are either that deep with you or they are not.

you cannot "look for" it.

its like looking for the lost city of gold or the fountain of youth...or the city of atlantis...
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 100
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/27/2010 10:05:09 AM
I skipped over those profiles each time. It is no different than those that are looking for their queen/king, other half, a real man/woman, etc.

All of it is lame.
 CynthiaSMW
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 101
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/27/2010 10:28:29 AM
Seeing those words in a profile is a turnoff, not because I disagree with the idea of soulmates, but because it's unimaginative/hackneyed writing. I was looking for someone who's profile showed imagination, self-awareness, insight, and articulate.

"seeking my soulmate" is akin to "love sunset walks on the beach" - blech.

That said, I've found my soulmate without ever once using the word "soulmate"
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 102
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Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/27/2010 5:40:42 PM

it means they've lost a shoe and hope you've seen it so they don't have to keep looking.


oooooohhhh.... i didn't know men could have Cinderella complexes, too!

 citygal95
Joined: 10/14/2010
Msg: 103
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/28/2010 7:35:18 PM
It's not a turn off or turn on for me. If you liked the rest of their profile, then IMO it would be nitpicky to reject a person just because of 1 cliche or figure of speech.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 104
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/29/2010 8:31:34 AM
No..


I react negatively. It seems a huge burden to put on another person


Not only that..I question the persons emotional maturity.
ONE soul in all the freaking world and it has to be the right one..Good luck.


Is "soulmates" a concept so trite as to be worthless, or so spiritual as to be easily abused?


Something is worth what value YOU put on it.

How much is that couch? 3 grand.......
3 grand? Are you nuts?

How much is that fabulous sofa?
I would part with it for 3 grand.

Oh JOY!!!! Rubs hands together wahahahahah
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 105
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/29/2010 10:34:48 AM
Pretty much. A person who uses a drab, worn-out cliché such as that one indicates to me that they're not very creative or imaginative, and don't possess much of a sense of humor---at least not one that would be compatible with mine.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 106
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/29/2010 11:46:20 AM

I react negatively. It seems a huge burden to put on another person, and I don't believe in soulmates anyway. I read it as "I want someone to complete me", which I don't think is a healthy attitude in entering an adult relationship.

+1
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 107
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/29/2010 3:50:19 PM

An equivalent turn off for me would be a profile of a woman saying she is looking for "Knight in shining armor to come sweep her off her feet....etc, etc" oh, and she's over 40, LOL I would expect that from a 20-something woman, but someone around my age bracket?


Another idiotic statement I've seen from a few middle aged women is: "I want someone who will make me feel like I did in high school". How much expertise and life experience does a high school kid have in the relationship and love department? I feel like telling the women who say that is why don't you go back to high school if it's so fantastic?
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 108
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/30/2010 6:37:22 AM
seeing this crap gives me the heebie-jeebies and raises immediate questions about the intelligence & maturity of the writer. "soulmate request" = "automatically undateable". it's just as big a deal-killer as nascar.... maybe more.
 Macgyver_Spider
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 109
My others soles mate is a slipper.
Posted: 10/30/2010 11:11:49 AM
^^^^^Does it count if you met your soulmate at a Nascar race but you weren't actually looking for a soulmate?
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 110
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/30/2010 12:49:50 PM
My definition for the word soulmate is one who helps you see yourself in the mind of GOD.

So a soulmate could be your enemy. He could be an abuser. He could hate me. He could be cruel. He could be the one who makes you self scrutinize. The one who makes you fall to your knees and BEG God for help because you are in so much pain.

The soulmate is someone who makes you turn to God. For good or bad reasons.

Someone once described it to me.. A soulmate is someone from a previous life that comes to you in this one to teach you a lesson you did not learn in your past life. It is not necessarily a romantic relationship. It is a person that helps either unwittingly or intentionally to help you see yourself in a different light. The light of God.
This is not always an easy lesson. Sometimes the soulmate is aggitating, argrivating, hostile. The relationship is not alway long term. It may be someone you encounter in one day, but they have the missing piece of the puzzle. The answer to the question you have been praying for.

FIREMATE was the term this person used to describe what most people commonly call the soulmate. This is the person God created in the beggining of time to live with you for eternity. This is the man whose rib was chosen to create you. We all supposedly only have one Firemate, but it may take a thousand life times to meet him again.

You can have MANY soulmates. You can have hundreds, these are just people that lead you to realize who you truly are in the eye of God. They teach both lessons hard and difficult or they can ease your burden. It depends on the lesson they were sent to teach.


Do I believe in any of this???? Ha... I'll keep you guessing cause I'm still just guessing too. My last bf broke my spirit. Was he my soulmate?
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 111
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 10/30/2010 2:26:29 PM
Anyone who uttered the word souldmate to me would be filed under "creepy douchebags to avoid".
 Haven_11
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 112
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 11/6/2010 8:03:57 AM
Not really, because I understand its not exactly Soul Mate-GOD-like. I feel it means someone who really understands and "gets" you and they feel the same about you. So, I have never said that I wanted my "Soul Mate" but, I would love someone who could understand me in ways no one else ever has.

So, that being said. I am not exactly turned off by that, but since my profile does state Dating/Casual/does not want anything serious, then I have to wonder exactly what the guy who is looking for his Soul Mate would want from me or expect? Is he thinking I'm just "good enough" to meet for fun while he's looking for what he really wants? Or is he thinking how long its been since he's gotten laid and could use a little bit on the side until he finds what he really wants? LOL!!

The first part doesn't hurt my feelings and I don't feel I'm being used. But, if its the second part, then I would say that is very unflattering and I tell the guy so. Though, I can usually tell if its about sex because of how he talks only about my Profile pics and asks if Ihave more. If we are having a conversation and I talk about other things and HE once again, talks about my pics and asks if I could take more photos of myself to upload, then I just point blank say NO I will not and good luck on his search!
 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 113
Is seeking my soulmate in a profile a turnoff for you?
Posted: 11/6/2010 6:17:02 PM
No. I would be still interested if they matched most of the things that I was looking for.
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