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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Ever been asked,"Why aren't you married?"      Home login  
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 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 77
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
And my answer is usually in the vein of .....

"Marriage is a social construct created by religious zealots who were bent on controlling the masses, and encouraging procreation, in order to ensure the viability of their religion by increasing the size of the flock, as well as gaining financially in the process."

Most are left a little speechless at that point, but if they arent....

"The idea that a piece of paper or a religious ceremony has the ability to validate a commtiment between two people is not only absurd, we have clear evidence that it isnt doesnt work."

"There is more value to me in a relationship that is sustained because the two people in the partnership want it to be that way, as opposed to maintaining a facade, for religious, legal or financial reasons. Too many marriages are broken, but are kept up so no one feels they have failed."
 winernotreally
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 78
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/11/2009 12:52:47 PM
^^^^Whew! golfgirl, I promise to never, but ever NEVER ask you that question!

Though I certainly agree with you on your philosophy, for the most part, I sometimes feel that a good *BELCH* in the face of the questioner suffices....seems that then they understand.
 waterviewtoo
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 80
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 10:35:56 AM
Rude question, would have to be from someone you don't know.

Been there. Done that.

If I did know them....

You're kidding, right? Did we just meet? Followed by much laughing.
 Veltro
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 81
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 11:44:39 AM
lol...prior to being married I was often asked "why aren't you married" or "gee I thought for sure you were married" . Now I get Gee why did you ever get married....
 OAS500
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 82
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:24:01 PM
QUOTE: "I was with some friends last nite (they're all married-to each other!) The women started asking me/grilling me on why I'm not married. I've known the men for 20 years. Have any of you good fish ever had this occur? The men just kind of sat back and chuckled (occasionally rolling their eyes.) It became uncomfortable after about an hour of my "interview." I just thought it odd that they would take such an interest in my personal life. Both of these couples have been married for 29 and 42 years respectively. How should I handle our next meeting? I see them 3-4 times a week at the beach. What say you?"


I'd say it sounds like they're jealous!

They want you to share the pain...............
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 83
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Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:43:57 PM
I only read the first and last page, but I am suprised at what certainly seems to be generally negative attitude about this, and apparantly about Marriage in general?

I get asked this.... but I don't take offense at it at all. I personally don't even see it as a question, but rather... a statement. Not only a statement, but a kind of flattering statement at that. What they are saying is " Your'e such an attractive and desirable marriage partner. There must be plenty of Men (or women) who would love to have someone like you. I'm puzzled how you could remain single" , or something like that.

Believe me..... Really ugly people with bad attitudes probably never get asked this question! ha. and, they would probably love it if they were. Besides, even if someone is actually asking it in a more personal an even cynical way (which seemed to be the predominant way this is interpreted) ... so what? All we have to do is shrug our shoulders and move on. We do Not have to take this stuff personal, if we don't want to. As for Marriage: I still think it is a good thing. Just because I totally screwed it up in some of my previous attempts has nothing to do with the viability and ligitimacy of the wonderful institution.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 84
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 7:11:08 PM



...Well I would say, "I've discovered that I am a very self-indugent person who loves my own company....besides I'm not yet ready for compromise...next question?"

...maeflowers
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 85
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Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 7:19:27 PM
Well, as to this matter. har. I have been wanting a t shirt I saw once for a long time. It said..." tell yer teets to quit starin' at my eyeballs!" ha! I appreciate your humerous slant on this. But, I know you know what we are talking about. And, I think there is a chance that you must be somewhat attractive in that area between your face and your stomach.... and that might have to be something you will have to learn to live with. Besides.... its obvious in this culture that many many women go to great extremes to have men do exactly what you complain (humerously) of. Wait......(?) didn't I hear once that thats where Love is...... hidden deep in the soft breasts of women??? ha.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 86
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 10:30:45 PM
...Next time someone asks me that question I'm going to tell them exactly what they think my chances are of getting married when I've been on a dating site for 3 bloody years and I can't even remember the last time I was on an actual date.....


...maeflowers
 SierraBeth
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 87
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/13/2009 11:18:05 PM
NORTY01 I never ask that question. Nor do I ask people why they dont have children. Now...... these women having been married 29 and 42 years my simply be doing the Mother thing. Although I never have . Now I would be more concerned about being prepared for them playing match maker. Was married to an awesome guy, but still joke about some people wanting others to get married because misery loves company. I have a Monty Python sense of humor.
 lookinatit
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 88
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:51:43 AM
If a person knows me, obviously they already know. When a stranger asks, I always get an apology after answering the question.
 safn1949
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 89
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Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/16/2009 11:23:26 AM
I used to get asked that,I got married at 47 and it lasted 3 years. I tell people it's like getting run over by a bus,once was enough,thanks.
 oneofgods
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 90
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Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:46:45 PM
When my friends ask me that question I just laugh and say because looking at married people pretending to be happy makes me want to stay miserable.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 91
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/17/2009 5:42:29 AM
This topic reminds me of a little joke a friend told me one day......



Why do single men live longer than the married ones?????


Because they WANT to.




Guess I wanna live longer,,,,,,,
 *Wasabi*
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 92
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/17/2009 10:50:58 AM
"When my friends ask me that question I just laugh and say because looking at married people pretending to be happy makes me want to stay miserable"

"...Next time someone asks me that question I'm going to tell them exactly what they think my chances are of getting married when I've been on a dating site for 3 bloody years and I can't even remember the last time I was on an actual date..... "


These are great replies, I hope I can remember them at the given time. I'm still chuckling over them.
 Mizz Demeanor
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 93
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/17/2009 5:05:32 PM

Why do single men live longer than the married ones?????


Apparently, they don't......it just feels like it....

Check it out:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1506209.stm

~mizz
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 94
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Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/17/2009 5:34:55 PM
Hi OP:

On occasion I have been asked. My answer is (& this is the truth)...
"I loved being married and I hope to do it again...it was wonderful while it lasted".

If they inquire further, I explain it like this "It was great though we did not make it to the finish line. Our kids are great. Its like a great ball game....you root for your team but they lose....it was still a great game".
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 95
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:35:47 AM
I think part of it is that we who have not married are in the minority, and the majority rules, so to speak. People seem to assume that I have not encountered men who have wanted to marry me when I say I have not been married. I could have gotten married several times, the timing or the person was not right for me. I have met several men on POF who said they would meet me if I had been engaged or had a long relationship where I lived with someone, but since I have not been engaged or lived with anyone they then said that I was a loser. (glad their comments weeded them out from my list of potential dates---NEXT) One man said that he had made mistakes in choosing wives (he had been married 3 times), and since I had not messed up my life and my children's lives by having bad marriages and divorces, that I knew nothing about life at all. I think he knew nothing about what makes a marriage work and needed help in choosing the right marriage partner, but if I had stated my opinion I would have been the one with the problem I am sure.
 RosePetals4u
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 96
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:34:41 PM
I liked my independence in my 20's and learning about life. In my 30's and 40's I focused on my career and raising a daughter without drama. Now in my 50's I think I am finally ready if the right person came along.

In my case baby boomer = late bloomer
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 97
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:44:46 PM
All the time! I want to scream! Like theres something wrong with me! I think its because the married people are so miserable they want us to join them! lol!
 macabbi
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 98
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:04:26 PM
Yes , and I just simply can't be bothered justifying anything anymore.
It's my choice , and I dont have to explain why or why not. I just smile and say I don't know.
 bxrgqtazlmstg
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 99
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/19/2009 2:56:39 PM
what's even better is when...

someone who also is ((unmarried)) asks the question...

hmm..

"Why aren't you married"

same as....

"Why are you single"


**********************************************
**********************************************
 lookingfar123
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 100
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/19/2009 4:42:39 PM
Yes all the time. People cann't believe that I am single. I am happy right now where I am but to find that special person will be good. I will know when that occurs. You just cann't rush it. my favorite saying in response to the question is "WHY ARE YOU MARRIED?" It always throws them for a loop.
 Miss New Year
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 101
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/19/2009 4:59:33 PM
I'm not uptight but I find that when someone (especially someone I barely know) asks that question, it's really rude & crosses boundaries in conversation. There could be many reasons why I'm not (no longer) married, but I'm not about to have that conversation, unless I initiate it. I could also ask them, why are you married? The real answers of course wouldn't be given (with some) but do I really care anyway? NO!
Some people just don't think before they speak out there socially.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 102
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:05:11 PM
I always thought of it as a compliment, someone way of saying that they see a value in me and think others would see it to, and that value means they think that I would be a good person for a relationship...I dont think it is meant to put down those who havent ever married and are enjoying their life as a single person.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Ever been asked,"Why aren't you married?"