Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 177
Being in The Right League Page 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
^^^Some women have mouth diarrhea - I have heard women say things like that before when they should have been inner thoughts. Stuff like "look at me again, now what made you think I would ever talk to someone like you?" Just no filter whatsoever, or a faulty one.

I assume they are saying them to men they don't like much anyway, in hopes that offending them will get them to go away. Why else would anyone ever say anything like that to someone else?
 electronblu
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 179
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/18/2009 3:10:39 PM
sounds like total bs but who the hell am i .professional is all a matter of mind . if i`ve been a janitor ( i`m not ) for 20 yrs then i`m a professional . you dont have to wear suit & tie , or act like a conceited ***hole . no one is out of my league nor me theirs . humble , bull shit , earth calling ...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 181
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:04:31 PM

I find the concept of "leagues" perfectly silly. We are all human beings and no one of us is better than another.

Absolutely absurd statement. I know, there's shallowness in misjudging whether one's better than another, and there are hollow misgivings people have about one another. But this isn't an argument about what we would -like- in life, or whether in an ideal word there would or wouldn't be, though. We're talking about reality, whether we like it or not.

1. Leagues don't require some people to be flawless and others not to be. Yes, everyone has flaws. But all flaws are not equal by any stretch.
2. Physically, there are leagues. Sorry, no bones about it. Yes, there's gray areas. Think about it. In Deal or No Deal, do you see women weighing 250lbs with a lazy eye as the models next to the cases? No. There is a foundation to physical beauty.
3. Mentally, there are leagues. People who are closed in and afraid to talk to others are in a very low "league". People who are friendly, intelligent, and have a general sense of humor are in a higher league.

"Leagues" refer to comparison issues. Many times, we refer to physical beauty. People can be compared in terms of beauty -- and be subjected to "lower levels" of such. It's hard to say in public, people either get pissed or guilty by thinking that, but it's true.

Also, there aren't just higher levels or lower levels either! Just DIFFERENT leagues. For instance, you can have someone who never dresses in a suit, is a bit rugged, but has a great life for himself, lives in the country, is good looking and intelligent. A big-city business woman who dresses in a suit 6 days a week, is high on mannerisms and being posh -- stereotypically, she's not in his league, he's not in hers. They play in different conferences, in a sense. They're different, and yes, whether one is better than the other, is one's opinion.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 185
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/19/2009 8:08:09 AM

The whole being in the right league thing is messed up


I agree. Drawing lines in the sand, which imo is what this "league concept" is about, is just a challenge to me, and should be to everyone else. I am going to step over, or blur the line, usually in broad daylight, and usually while you're watching, but maybe not.

My dog keeps trying to walk in front of me, lead the way, get over on me. I don't blame him- he's a pack animal, just trying to be the alpha male so he can attract a mate. I have no such patience for the same or similar behavior in humans, or packs of humans.

If your drive to be first compels you to put me behind or below you, better watch your 6.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 187
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:27:18 AM
There are leagues. Leagues don't necessary mean that one person is better than another person. Just different. First example. who is a successful actress more likely to date. Me or a rich and famous singer / actor / musician etc? She would probably choose the male celebrity. The male celebrity isn't necessary a better person than me just because he is rich, famous, and / or powerful.

Second Example. Who is a woman with a master degree and a high paying job more likely to date. A doctor or a man who only has a high school education and works at a retail store or a restaurant. Probably the doctor. A doctor isn't necessary a better person than a waiter or a sales clerk simply because the doctor makes more money or is more educated.

Third Example. Who is a man with a muscular body build more likely to date? A morbidly obese woman or a woman with an athletic build and nice breasts. Probably the woman with an athletic build. The woman with the athletic build isn't necessary a better person than the morbidly obese woman simply because she has a generally more attractive body type.
 tongue-untied
Joined: 10/13/2004
Msg: 188
view profile
History
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/19/2009 4:01:56 PM
Very interesting thread... but I think it all comes down to being comfortable in yourself.... I have a friend who is a good-looking dude, I'm not gay but this guy could probably have his pick of the litter. And he only goes after the hot girls out there... I have another friend who is by no means an attractive person, but he seems to have more success at romance than my good looking friend because he is honest and sincere and just basically a very personable guy... he does not judge ppl by looks, rather than character... When the day is done, would anyone want to spend the rest of their lives with a Barbie or Ken, or someone that you truly connect with spiritualy??? Sure, having a trophy wife or husband is fine and dandy, but in the end it is doomed to fail unless there is more beyond the physical attraction that may have brought you together in the 1st place... I would rather be with someone I can relate and connect with than submit to a relationship that is bound by physical attraction alone... And with that said, I put my hook in the water yet again....
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 189
view profile
History
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/19/2009 4:04:12 PM
I don't categorize people like that.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 190
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:51:58 PM
[successful actress more likely to date. Me or a rich and famous singer / actor / musician etc? She would probably choose the male celebrity.

Hmmm. AJ always picks from the actor barrel, but Demi's choice had nuthin' to do with HIS thespian skill. The only "dates" we all get to see celebs go on are those red-carpet things, photo-ops, and those pairings are most likely rigged by agents to advance their client's cause. Cameron Diaz gathers up the off-camera "staff" and runs them to Africa for a good time. Of course, Angie Harmon, that raven-haired beauty from Law and Order; she chose a football player. Eerily, at the time of the choice, among the best there ever was.



Second Example. Who is a woman with a master degree and a high paying job more likely to date. . . . Probably the doctor.


Nope. Masters/high-paying job. She's 40-ish. Itchy age. Lol. My bet is on the guy who bulked up in Example 3. She's gonna be looking for the performance model.


Third Example. Who is a man with a muscular body build more likely to date? A morbidly obese woman or a woman with an athletic build and nice breasts. Probably the woman with an athletic build.


In my world, the doctor takes on the Kate Smith lady, cuz she needs him most, and he needs to display his god-talents.
The athletic woman, bored to tears, would be outta options, but, as I always try to add what's missing from the picture, she'd be mine.

You're outta luck. Just didn't want to make this personal.
 ceaser_73
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 193
view profile
History
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/19/2009 8:33:31 PM
Go free agent, then you can go to any team you want and play the game to the level of your skill. (LOL)
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 196
Leagues aside...
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:47:52 AM
grammar Gal:

bwahaah..

Then there is the mix ups between to/too; there/their/they're; its/it's - and oh god... even our/are.

These are the basics... and I am sorry these do speak to the level of a person's intellect.


I do not teach English grammar or literature..but I think your sentence should have read:

"Then there ARE the mix ups.."

the word "God" conventionalty capitalized, is it not??..

and also this might be an improvement: "and I am sorry, {comma} these do speak.."

when you're going to be so snobby, act the pedant, and throw stones, beware of those glass walls?

By the way, does literature recommend the use of the *I* pronoun repeatedly; as almost every second word?

*I* did this, *I* do that, *I* think..

That strikes me as a mark of an egomaniac. But that is fine..If the shoe fits, please do wear it.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 197
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/20/2009 8:27:12 AM
People are such hypocrites....I bet NONE of the folks who have posted here that "they don't put people in leagues or categories" would not be caught dead with a so-called "welfare mother", or a "chronically unemployed" man!
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 201
Leagues aside...
Posted: 1/20/2009 9:51:28 AM
Only1DayWalker"


You can't blame her for having a pet peave, I'm sure you have some of your own.


true enough..It's "peeve" by the way ;)

LMAO..
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 203
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:27:50 AM

You know some other studies have talked about how a far higher percentage of men consider themselves good-looking than do women, and that men tend to have more self-confidence, lower rates of depression, and that men tend to overestimate their attractiveness, whereas women tend to underestimate their attractiveness.
If I had a Euro for every post that contains words to the effect of "there have been some studies that..." I'd be dating an Eastern European golddigger.

If you don't mind, can you provide references to the studies you're referring to?
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 204
view profile
History
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/20/2009 11:08:36 AM
I'm a 48 year old dude working at McDonald's flipping burgers for minimum wage and don't plan on doing anything else for the rest of my life. Anyone want to date me?

[crickets chirping]....[/crickets chirping]

I didn't think so......


 victoriasnewsecret
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 209
view profile
History
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/21/2009 11:48:48 AM
She had told me she would not lower her standards to raise mine.

WOW, what a fool! Judging from her egotism and arrogance, it would be you who is lowering your standards. Of course she'd never see it that way :p

There are leagues, but they don't all revolve around looks. For me, personally, the things I prize most in a partner (but almost never specify) are a true sense of spirituality and humility. People who genuinely realize that there is more to life than them - that they are not here to be served, they are here to serve humanity.

It's so hard to find that just reading it makes me sound like some lofty idealist, but I'll take that over looks any day.

On another note..
you can have someone who never dresses in a suit, is a bit rugged, but has a great life for himself, lives in the country, is good looking and intelligent.

GIMME!
 newsintown
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 212
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/21/2009 1:59:46 PM
That's very true. From biological point of view, men only need to mate with a woman once. Women try to keep them men around for a while. So men go for the hottest woman they could get, but women generally settle for someone who is below them in terms of "value."
 More sleep would be nice
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 213
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/21/2009 2:39:23 PM
I completely agree with Discofied: "I think this "out of your league" stuff is just absolute garbage."

'Standards' is a series of factors that make up a string of preferences. 'Standards' are too inflexible in the world of love economics. It may work in some corporate establishments, but it will hardly work for those seeking intimate encounters deeper than simple physical lust and penetration.

I have gone out with women with various factors of attraction and interests. Beyond that, they all have their own 'standards' of professionalism, knowledge, wisdom and eye candy.

Whenever I hear a friend say crap like that, I laugh and tell him/her, "Go for what you want and not what you think society thinks you should have."
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 215
view profile
History
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/21/2009 8:58:42 PM
Yeah, there are always "leagues"....just like there are always cliques in any functioning activity or group of any society....and they form for reasons...what one may call leagues another may call those that you have things in common with....when we fill these profiles out we even fill out certain "league" indicators...one is body type...did you fill out average, athletic, thin, few extra lbs? Well like it or not there are some that are in atletic category that will not date anyone out of their leagues...do you own a car? that is an indicator of your financial status or can be...and there are some that will not date men than they would not deem as good potential providers....how are your pics rated? Are you above 8.0? Are you above 8.0 b/c you showed some skin? Just that hot without even being sexy? Oh come on...how could you not know their are leagues? Not trying to make this sound cruel....just it is real...
 newsintown
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 216
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:14:44 AM


I've been married 3 times and never chose anyone below than me in any terms which have value for me: education, looks, you name it.


Yes, and you've been married 3 times so far. Doesn't it prove my point?
 casperella
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 223
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/25/2009 6:57:26 AM
Hey I agree with that. Thats why there are men with the big beer belly wanting a woman thats thin and in shape.
 IamMatthew
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 224
Being in The Right League
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:55:26 AM
There is a big difference between "Wanting" and "Seeing you're self with" personaly I don't try to get with those" hotties" ... although I can't lie and say I am not Attracted to them. When it comes to the league thing sure I beleave it but you can in no way set a list of syntax for defining them. its for each person.

You COULD have some one like Brad Pit find Donna from that 70's show his league and it could work if she saw him as her league. (I know its just an example )
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 228
Being in The Right League
Posted: 2/8/2009 3:04:44 AM

You can be partial to people who exhibit certain traits and assets when seeking potential matches, but please recognize them for what they are – mere preferences!


It's a preference when you are the one who can change your preference. It's a league if someone else has to change a preference to date you.
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 229
Being in The Right League
Posted: 2/8/2009 4:39:50 AM

Then there is the conversation factor. I am a literature teacher - I have two advanced degrees and I am working to complete my Ph.D. - focusing on cognition - I doubt very seriously Joe (the) Plumber, Joe Six Pack, or any of the other less than average Joes could hold their own with me in a conversation.... let alone life.


Conversation factor....huh. Sorry but I just don't believe you on that. It takes a lot more then a college degree to be a good conversationalist. Hopefully more then just your area of expertise.

My dad did not have a degree, but he was the smartest man I have ever known. When he spoke everyone actually listened to him, because they knew that he would never steer them wrong. He could read people very quickly. Figure out a persons intentions, their personality. Something he learned on his own. He read the newspaper everyday, kept up on current affairs. Oh, he loved to talk. The stories he use to tell & how he told them would keep people entranced.

I do consider myself more of an average Joe, but a smart one. I am quite well traveled & enjoyed talking to the native locals in their respective countries. Visited Roman ruins, ancient civilizations & European castles. So not only have I read about them, but actually lived it. Even though I do not have a degree in hand yet, most of my military schools do convert to college credit. Theoretically I would have enough college credits to equal a masters degree. Not bad for an average Joe who never stepped inside a college class in his life...

So yes, I think me & my dad could keep up with you quite well in that regard.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >