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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > So.... He cheated..... again....      Home login  
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 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 1
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So.... He cheated..... again....Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I reading a forum on another site..... they were talking about this dude.... he has a girlfriend... about a year or so ago he got caught cheating by her..... she called the girl he was cheating with out on it (something I will never understand.... she needed to call him on it.... but that's a whole other topic)...... so... move to now..... he cheat again.... with the same girl (he had previously been dating both for about a year).... from what the forum says.... the girlfriend doesn't know that.... yet.... but it makes me wonder..... I can understand cheating with someone one time being... ummm... the proverbial accident.... but if more than a year later.... he cheats with the same woman.... by seeing her several times..... and sleeping with her..... is the girl he cheats with really nothing? or is she something??? can you just be addicted to the cheating??? is it still the same deception if you re-cheat with the same girl??? the girl he cheated with states that she did it this time just because the girl who became or remained his girlfriend was so c0cky about "winning him" in the end.... even though the girl he cheated with walked... and didn't want anything to do with him at that time....

so I am confused.... and though new opinions from people on here who don't know him (the other site where this is posted people know him and love him) would be interesting....

do you think he loves his girlfriend???

do you think he loves the girl he cheats with???

what do you think the deal is???
 sriannaailyim
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 2
So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:48:40 PM
Why do women put up with this-

instead of trying to dissect it- if he cheats then LEAVE......

He did it once- she forgave him--- that was his warning....

He does it again- get the f*ck on and stop worry about the other female. She has the relationship with him- NOT HER!
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:53:40 PM
@sruanna.... I so agree with you.... I love to watch their drama.... because she fights for her "man" and will call a girl out on what she does with him.... but never holds him responsible.... I would never put up with it..... and don't think I would ever love someone that way or much.... she thinks that in the end if he is with her... then he loves her and the others are nothing....

but I remember a while back seeing an interview with Snoop Doggs wife... she said something to the effect that the other women can do what they want because in the end he comes home to her.... which I thought was crazy....
 sriannaailyim
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 4
So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:59:35 PM

but I remember a while back seeing an interview with Snoop Doggs wife... she said something to the effect that the other women can do what they want because in the end he comes home to her.... which I thought was crazy....


And the reason why Snoop Dogs wife hasn't left is because of his money....

if your friend's man has Snoop Dog's money and she has access to it- then more power to her.

If not- I hope she gains some respect for herself and leaves. Until she is joining in on the fun!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 5
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:00:13 PM
Sounds like a total d!ckhead and two stupid women.

Does the why matter? He cheated twice and with the same person. Neither woman should want him, end of story.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 6
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:02:40 PM
I agree packagedeal..... yet women still do... they seem to flock to him... I don't get it.... so I am curious by nature as to why people do what they do..... and why people rationalize staying.... meaning the first time he cheated with the girl.... she was able to rationalize that the girl meant nothing..... it was just a fling.... but if a year later they are in the same boat.... it is crazy....
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 7
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:51:55 PM
I love what you are saying Harley.... that was great... this is definitely a guy who seems to never smell like he should.....

as for the polyamorus comments... I would think that the woman would need to be in agreement with what dude was doing for that to work.... his girlfriend is going to go off when she finds out....
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 8
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/6/2009 9:03:10 PM
That is so true Autumn... the girlfriend in this scenario always blames the other women... they came on to him... they threw themselves at him.... he is a man... he couldn't resist.... it is really sad... but I guess it is like others have said.... low self esteem.... she probably doesn't think she can do better... because I really hope it isn't love that keeps her there....
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 9
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/7/2009 5:42:17 AM

I agree packagedeal..... yet women still do... they seem to flock to him... I don't get it.... so I am curious by nature as to why people do what they do..... and why people rationalize staying.... meaning the first time he cheated with the girl.... she was able to rationalize that the girl meant nothing..... it was just a fling.... but if a year later they are in the same boat.... it is crazy....

Women flock to him knowing who and what he is because they want to believe that they are the woman for whom he will change, and of course, we have some fine examples of confirmed bachelors that finally settled down like Warren Beatty who finally did settle down happily. I wold imagine that the woman convinced herself it was a fling because she could not grasp life without him, so she sees what she wants to see and talks herself out of any line of thinking that would cause her to take action.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 10
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/7/2009 5:52:23 AM
NJBubble.... not sure how this would be a pity thread.... it isn't about me... just something I saw on another site.... I personally wouldn't stay with someone who cheated... but I do see more and more women doing that.. so it has me curious as to if it is becoming more acceptable.... and if we have lower expectations of people now.....
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/7/2009 6:31:16 AM
There are two types of cheaters. There are the ones that cheat because their relationship sucks and this is a way to precipitate the unbeatable end. And there are those that cheat because they will always cheat. Even when they move with the other woman, such person, then will find someone else to cheat with.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 12
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/7/2009 6:48:49 AM
@carolann.... don't get me wrong.... I don't think there is ANY reason for cheating.... but I have heard women say that their man didn't mean it.... it just happened..... blah blah.... heck I have heard men say it when women cheat too.... and I never understood how someone could say their partner didn't mean it when they cheated.... or that the person meant nothing.... which is sad... because if the person you cheat with meant nothing.... and you were willing to ruin your relationship over someone that meant nothing.... what does the person you are in the relationship mean to you....

it is just crazy to me.... which is why I wondered in this scenario if the cheat was different because it was with the same person....


but I do agree with the person who said a cheater will cheat for a couple reasons..... as an excuse to leave or because they can..... because if they let you get away with it once... what is stopping you from doing it again??
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 13
So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:15:35 AM
If the cheated women thinks she won something, then she's really not in love with the guy,she's in love with winning. He, of course, shares something in common with his gf...the love of winning.

So, does he love the gf he shares this in common with? Some people love those they share beliefs in common with. Does he love the other women he uses to get what he wants? Can you love someone, yet not be in a steady, committed relationship with them?

I suspect....if you love someone, you don't want someone else in your life. You may want to have animal sex with them, but you don't want them otherwise in your life once you plant your seed.

And that's my general opinon on three people I know nothing about

 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 14
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/7/2009 12:13:35 PM
"There are the type that cheat because they are in a terrible relationship,"

I asked my ex for marraige counseling and he promptly found my replacement. During the separation we got together one more time (cheating on the mistress with your own husband really sucks even in memory). However, a key point with him is that he had never lived without someone saying what to do (parents to navy to marraige to mistress he married) in his life. To the best of my knowledge he hasn't cheated on her in 25 years. So, I do have to agree that there are those who are one time cheaters.

For all the rest of them I see two different scenerios. 1) Those who don't know how to end a relationship or say no to a "committed" relationship when they aren't satisfied with being with one person. 2) sex addicts. They know how to say "no" but they like the convenience of marraige and all that comes with marraige and they want both marraige and cheating and they haven't found a person who will agree to both physical and emotional/mental open relationship.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 15
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:51:45 PM
@kpooks..... the site that this is posted on.... the man is a member.... and so the responses there... favor him.... I oppose him.... and so I wanted to see what members who didn't know him at all would say about the situation.... so I don't know them in the real world.... but I see them online.... in a world were he is very respected (for the lack of a better word).....
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 16
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/8/2009 1:14:15 AM

More people should watch Cheaters, it's a great show.


Cheaters is a horrible show that glorifies the drama associated with cheating, and always paints the person they're tailing as a horrible person, while the person that went to cheaters is the victim. They completely ignore the gray areas in each relationship they air on their show, and encourage people to air their dirty laundry for the whole world to see, instead of acting like normal human beings and solve their problems in a mature and civilized manner.

Sorry about that, rant over!
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 17
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/8/2009 1:16:21 AM

OP: he loves cheap thrills and sex, not the girls you're describing.

As for the "types of cheaters" - hmm.. How to explain it best.. - would it matter to you whether I rip out your cartoid or whack you with a tire iron?
Drown your pet or shoot it?
See? End effect is the same.

I could not care less whether dude thinks he has "accidently tripped and fcuked" someone or deliberately took his skeevies off to have sex with another woman.

He still uber-failed.


It matters, because while cheating is wrong, regardless... the reasoning for it will determine if a relationship can be saved or not.
 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 18
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So.... He cheated..... again....
Posted: 1/8/2009 10:29:46 AM
"Serial cheaters will never be trustworthy"

Oh, I trust that a cheater will cheat ...

fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

What they will do for you they will do to you.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

I'd need huge huge evidence and behavioral track record proof that a former cheater has changed in his core into a non-cheater. I've seen it ... very rare.
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