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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > no sex = no dating?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 39
no sex = no dating?Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
"I'm still pretty young and busy with college and building a career etc. and I dont plan on have sex till I'm marriage since worrying about getting pregnant/getting diseases is the last thing I need right now, so I'm holding off for health, not religous reasons and I don't trust the pill/condom at being 100% effective since accidents do happen and I can't afford an accident right now. So it makes it hard to date, since as everyone says that guys are always thinking about it, so should I even bother trying to date, or would a man slowly go insane from waiting years to have sex?"
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My take on this is as follows: first of all I wouldn't waste my time on a girl/woman who thinks about nothing than herself - school, her future career, job, etc. etc., since there's obviously no time for me. To date a woman for years and not once have sex? Forget it. No guy that I know would put up with that. Only a fool would. At 22 you'll change a hundred times within the next 10+ years anyway. What's important today will not mean so much later on. There's more to life than school and career thinking. I'd say that it's better to live one day at a time because there might not be a tomorrow.
 ron62449
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 40
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/8/2009 10:34:45 AM
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. If a man can't date you and respect your boundries, want to get to know you and have fun, tell him go. You have a lot more to offer than your body.

Ron
 ron62449
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 41
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/8/2009 10:36:22 AM
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. If a man can't date you and respect your boundries, want to get to know you and have fun, tell him go. You have a lot more to offer than your body. Tell him to control his rageing hormones or date Ruby Palmer.

Ron
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 42
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/8/2009 12:04:49 PM
No sex before marriage is really only practical and logical if:

You don't date.

Both people are asexual.

You get married very quickly.

For all the True Love Waits people, the Bible says that a man (and probably a woman by extension) should get married quickly so as to avoid sexual immorality.

Soooooo I take that to mean that your choices are to either get married really quick (like people I know have done - hs sweethearts and all that) or join the rest of us with modern dating.

Without arranged marriages, you are going to be HARD pressed to find a man who is not into sex - especially one near as attractive as you.

Generally the more attractive and physically fit a man is, the more testosterone he has. The more testosterone a person has, the more they want to get down!

So my advice, if you truly feel this way is to just wait.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 43
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:25:13 PM
Sure, date them, but while you play with a vibrator they will be playing with some other girl.
 fibus
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 44
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/9/2009 12:11:52 AM
In a "girlfriend" a man is looking for a companion, friend and sex. Not necessarily in that order.
Most men know alot of women as friends But not all or any are girlfriends.
Which do you want to be?
Women have a great advantage in any relationship. They can always count on the lust of men.
 lancewallach
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 45
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/17/2009 6:09:25 PM
Maybe you should ask your priest or social worker, and not someone on this site????
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 46
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/17/2009 6:25:20 PM

I'd be fine with no sex before marriage. Now, how do I find a woman who'd be okay with no sex DURING marriage?

Lol. I could give you my ex-wife's phone number perhaps?
 dallasdoer
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 47
view profile
History
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/17/2009 7:13:36 PM
I have no idea what guys your age would think but intuition tell me that sex is almost meaningless for guys your age so instead of list dating list long term. If you just want a friend, a girl would probably make a better one. A pretty girl like you should be able to find a man who will marry her but, it might mean finding a guy who is more mature, more used to women being a little more particular and of course more interested in a women who is marriage material.
 somegood
Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 48
view profile
History
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/17/2009 9:00:20 PM
Quite a Good Catch said.
i would certainly wait for you, your cute and unlike alot of men dont think with my balls


Sounds like you don't have any.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 49
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/18/2009 5:45:52 PM

Just because you and other men who think like you are cowardly little boys who can't control themselves, does not mean there aren't men who WILL respect and cherish her for her preference of waiting. The ones that don't want to wait are not the ones she wants to date. The ones that would do as you suggest never respected her in the first place. And, she knows this.

Why all the insults? You take a very judgmental and aggressive tone here, assuming the moral high-ground.


Now, I'm sorry we "weird" folks who want to wait until we're married (for whatever reason) make you feel insecure about your own choices in life. Because, that's what it is, isn't it? We rock your little boat by doing something that goes against what makes "sense" to you. Same thing happened about 30-40 years ago to conservative-minded people when some folks decided, "Hey, sex is fun, why should we wait for marriage?". "Why" is up to the OP; it's HER body, mind, and soul.

If you believe that, fine, but why the insults? I'm quite happy and secure with my beliefs and choices, they just don't happen to correspond with yours, yet you presume to call anybody who disagrees with your view of the world 'cowardly', 'insecure' and 'little boys'. Only a 'man' waits until marriage to have sex!

I'm twice your age, been a husband and lover, fathered and support 3 sons and delivered the second one myself. The definition of a 'man' takes many forms and many others on this forum, I would think, might take you to task on the narrowness of yours.


I'm 24, and a virgin who's waiting for marriage for non-religious reasons. I have to deal with a culture that won't care if I crumble beneath its faceless will, and give up an honourable dream.

Being a little over-dramatic here, aren't we? There are plenty of places to find people who share your values, what you are talking about here is expecting the wider community to embrace your view.


Every day. I have to deal with uncouth, shamelss jerks like you laughing at me or calling me a "p*ssy" for wanting to wait... or saying they support me while they actually think to themsevles that it'll just make stealing my girlfriend easier. But I wait, because it's what's right to me, in my heart. I wait because a girl like OP is worth it, and deserves it.

'Stealing your girlfriend'? Now you're just being downright paranoid? You have a lot of anger here, pity the poor girl you place on that pedestal, only to fail to live up to your lofty expectations.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 50
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/18/2009 8:09:23 PM
Well, dontlosehope, sign one more man up for "slowly go insane from waiting years".

I made it exactly three months in the best relationship I ever had, and the previous GF to that one laughed at me quite openly when she learned that fact. Snickered, even, and made verbal jabs at both my manhood and my sanity for putting up with the whole scenario.

But look, in all seriousness, you're young, slim, blonde, scalding hot and quite clearly know all of the above, despite less than credible claims to the contrary.

Pretty much the whole laundry list of what our cultural script deems officially attractive in a woman. So you'll probably not have an impossible task in finding some young squire who is willing to put up with it.

Let me apologize in advance for my flippant commentary (I probably do not share your religious convictions, so please excuse my idolatrous lack of reverence) but have you considered telling the guys that they can tell their buddies fraudulent tales about how great you are in bed, so long as you both agree that their fraudulent character will remain your little secret? That way, he can have puerile ego gratification, and you get to remain virgo intacta until twenty minutes after you finish your spotlight dance with Daddy at the chapel.

In the alternative, I'd recommend VD screening for him (yes, they DO offer that service now), and a wild amazing **freaky** new concept sweeping the nation, yes, you guessed it, **oral** with a love glove. If you can get pregnant or sick like that, trust me, you're doing it wrong. I recommend the Internet. They have plenty of instructional videos to edify (or horrify) you.
 Dontlosehope
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 51
view profile
History
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/19/2009 5:44:53 AM
um.....ok.... I've had a bunch of random comments, and I'm not stupid, I know about four play, making out ect. I shouldnt have to explain what intercourse is. Maybe I am old fashioned, about that subject, is that a crime? I'm not trying to grab attention, I was never the popular girl, or cheerleader or slut growing up, I only tease guys if they tease me first, so its not one sided. I can still be physical with a guy without having intercourse, its called being creative... many of my high school friends are sill virgins, and have been in long relationships without having sex. Dont judge me based on my photos, I didnt start looking that way till now, I've never fit in with most, and I like being differnt than what society thinks I should be or do, thats my form of rebellion. Most guys I know are like wolfes, that just follow that pack and do whatever their friends or society says they should do, unable to make up their own moral values or code. My last boyfriend we dated almost 2 years who was a virgin, but he couldnt stand the long distance with college, so we ended it, but are still friends. I know about testing obviously, but as cheezy as it sounds I rather be safe than sorry. I was raised lutheran which has nothing to with my sexual choices, and sex was never talked about ever during confirmation classes, church or sunday school, and doesnt reflect my sexual choices, its just that with the way sex is thrown around so much on tv and everywhere, I'm not that eagerly curious about it as I was in grade school. And to divorce my husband for being bad in bed? that sounds so stupid. with all the new medicines, toys, sex doctors, books, etc. to help with that matter, and a marriage based on sex? you'd be better off marrying a hooker I'm not saying that its 100% that I wont have sex till marriage, but in the next couple years most likely I wont be having sex as I'd have to be in a long, loving, relationship for that to occur......
 NoQuarterGiven
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 52
no sex = no dating?
Posted: 5/19/2009 1:59:37 PM
Lets all lay off the girl for having principles. I think it's a little unreasonable to not have sex because there's a tiny possibility you might get pregnant even after using protection. In that care, better not drive in a car because the chances of being in a car accident are probably around the same.

But that's my take on it. The question wasn't whether she's making the right decision but whether there are guys out there that would go along with it.

Normally I'd say no, but she's really attractive so I'd say there are guys out there that will wait. I'd be one of them, as long as we can do other activities.
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