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 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 274
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Fear of dating single mothersPage 14 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

I fully understand taking a break...or changing what one wants and desires from the dating world....but that would suggest you change your profile to adjust to your individualistic situation?


I was looking for a long term relationship. When I realized that I didn't have the time to pursue one, I hid my profile.

When I completed my education and had more free time, I unhid my profile. I am now in a position to devote time to a long term relationship.

I fail to see how I was misleading anyone. My intentions were honest. I was sincere in my intentions ot pursue a LTR, but it became obvious that it wasn't the right time for me. When I realized that a LTR wasn't feasible, I withdrew myself from the dating scene until it was feasible.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 275
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 2/16/2012 6:14:23 AM

and again, one of the reasons why some single moms are hard to date... simply no time....


if she likes you enough, she will find the time. if not, the no time is a great excuse to use
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 276
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 2/16/2012 8:57:46 AM

This is quite understandable....
And again, one of the reasons why some single moms are hard to date... simply no time....


Granted, a shortage of time is a challenge to be overcome, but single parents aren't the only ones to have this challenge. Self employed people often have to work very long hours. Some people have very challenging careers that require long hours. Some people have jobs that require a great deal of travel. Some people have medical conditions that require specialized and time-consuming treatment. Some people are caring for elderly parents. These things reduce the amount of time available to pursue a relationship.

As Rivergirl already pointed out, a shortage of time can be overcome if there is enough motivation. If she doesn't want to be with you, a lack of time is a good excuse.

In my case, a shortage of time WAS the culprit, but that has changed along with my personal circumstances. At that time in my life, I really did NOT have the time for a LTR. I was juggling school, work and raising a child on my own. I can now remove school from that list freeing up considerable time.

Finding the time to pursue a LTR will still be a challenge, but it's possible now and for the right man, I can definitely find the time.

A lot depends on the individual single parent's circumstances. Some single parents only have their children with them part of the time. Others may have a very good support network. Others may have older children that are more independent.

Time or the lack of it is just another example of how diverse single parents are.
 4x4guy95348
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 277
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 2/16/2012 8:23:08 PM
My personal view in this subject matter is that it is solely up to you.

The truth is that there is someone out there for everyone but....
If these people meet before the other experiences life, perhaps it wouldn't work out.

I like to believe that single moms or dads have a different point of view on life and
Would possibly be more inclined to appreciate their mate.

One has to be willing to accept the baggage that comes with it whether it be an ex or a conflict as a result of the prior relationship split.

I don't see children as baggage, I love children and if their parent wasn't involved and the woman had her life together, I'd happily move forward with that honey.

My two cents
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 278
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 10/26/2012 4:01:27 AM
As a single mother I would say there is no reason to avoid us!! I guess you have to consider what you want from a relationship. With a single mum you'll have a caring person who will probably be quite independant (I can't speak for everyone though) but there will always be the fact that her children will ( or should) come first depending how old they are of course.

You just have to consider whether you want your parntner to yourself and risk missing out on Ms right, or if you are willing to make sacrificies to find Ms Right...down to you..just think about it before you get involved!!
Relly wow so bc I don't have kids nobody should ask me out bc I'm not ms right and I'm not carrying. Wow relly how do u know. I found a very amusing guy who treat me awesome he didn't have any kids just we ended up to be to different at the end. And just recently I meet someone on here and be is wow but no kids in his house. So if u don't want to date someone with kids don't. There is a lot of very kind carrying girls who would love to be with u just give it some time
 eileena.s
Joined: 10/13/2012
Msg: 279
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 10/26/2012 4:35:01 PM
I am a single mom. I would suggest that you figure out what you want out of a relationship. If your not looking to settle down or have kids, you might want to avoid single moms. Most single moms are looking for long term relationships, not just someone to have a momentary fling with.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 280
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 10/26/2012 8:42:33 PM

This then suggests you have been ""using"" the guys to take you out...to spend money on you as they explore long term potential with somone who is misrepresenting themselves....as your profile does state...you are looking long term...yet you suggest you are not?.....Does that not suggest questionable motives...which then brings into question other comments and views as perhaps you choose the road or the path or opinion that is self serving...as opposed to complete truthfulness and candour?

I would imagine or suggest someone who was honest...would simply be suggesting looking for somone to date...not long term...so the guys who are paying for the dates with you know upfront what in fact you represent or in their case not represent?


You imagine & suggest an awful lot. Frankly, a few of you are so wounded that you might "suggest" to yourself that you refrain from any contact with the opposite sex at all! That you gleaned what you state above from her post is indicative of your character, nothing more. How sad.
 Waterl
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 281
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/13/2012 2:38:03 PM
I'm wondering why you're avoiding single moms, you never did say. Unless you just can't be bothered by kids in this stage of your life, date both.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 282
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/15/2012 4:09:23 PM
i tend to avoid getting involved with single mothers


The demographics of single moms are very broad. I personally will only seriously consider marriage or LTR with a single mom who has only one child. Two or more is the deal breaker and will explain below.

Alot of single moms on this site will profess that they are not looking a replacement daddy, a man's financial help or help with the childeren. I find this attitude extremely disingenous. Any cohabitation scenario will require sacrifice on the part of the man no matter how you look at. Alot of women will imply (with the above statements ) to the potential man that he won't have to change his routine or significantly alter his lifesyle. Let me lay out two scenarios to illustrate what I mean. These include I, your humble author, A single mom named Sue and her 3 kids;
Billy 9, Sally 6 and Chloe 4.

Scenario #1 ( This is the one that they imply you will have )

6:00 AM
Pete arises from his slumber and proceeds to the wieght room, streches and proceeds to begin his AM workout. Meanwhile Sue chases through the house the 3 childeren, and hastily gets them dressed. Sue scrambles to get 3 lunches packed whilst preparing breakfast, at this time Pete goes outside for a cooldown swim in his pool. Franticly, Sue gets the kids all loaded in the car at which point the kids notice Pete and say, "Bye Pete!". Pete, now lying on his raft drinking his protien shake, lifts his glass and says "Bye kids, have fun at school/ daycare!" Pete, with 15 minutes to spare, leisurely walks to the house, changes his clothes and proceeds to work.

Scenario #2 ( This is the scenario that always plays out )
6:08 AM
THUD. "What in the hell was that!?!" Sue exclaimes. Screams come from the bedroom. "Mom!!!, Billy yanked the sheet off the bed and I rolled on the floor." "Dammit, Billy come here this instant!" "Why did you do that to your sister?" "Mom, its after 6 and Sally wouldn't get out of bed." "Crap, we're going to be late, PETE CAN YOU PLEASE START BREAKFAST?" "Ok, jeez." "Well I shouldnt have to ask." Billy turns on the TV and Sally and Cloe begin to fight over a doll. "Mom, Chloe took my doll and won't give it back!" Sue distracted by this, drops half of the PB&J sandwhich, which falls jelly side down on the floor. "DAMMIT, JUST GIVE IT TO HER". Pete, shoveling eggs on plates says to Sue, "Hey maybe can have a movie night tonight?" "Pete, tonight is Billys little league game we aren't going to have time, and I need you to pick Chloe up from daycare, and hey, can you stop by the store and pick up some milk?" "Sure, but hey maybe we can do the movie thing tomorrow?" "We can't, Sally's dance recital is tomorrow" Pete sighs and sits down to eat. Shortly there after, all begin to depart for school and work. Pete takes Chloe to daycare to alivieate time from Sue, but nonethelesss adds 30 minutes to his other wise 10 minute work commute.
6:30PM
Everyone finally gets back home from thier hectic day. Sue rappidly bakes up some chicken tenders and french fries. Pete, while eating his dinner looks down and notices his ever increasingly waistline. 'I got no time to workout' he thinks to himself. After dinner Pete proceeds to play PS3, while Sue starts the kids on homework. Billy, distracted, continues to glance over to see the TV. "Pete can you turn that off for now, its distracting them from doing homework?" "Fine"
9:00PM
With the kids finally asleep, Sue turns on the TV and starts surfing channels. Pete sits down next to her. A few minutes later Pete leans over and starts to kiss Sue's neck. Sue leans away and remarks, "Pete I'm exhausted, JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME TO DECOMPRESS!". Pete goes into the bedroom and turns on the TV. After about a hour or so, Pete turns off the TV and reaches for the Jergen's hand lotion and a pair of used underwear out of the hamper. As Pete tries to fall asleep, his thoughts drift of happy days, but knows tomoorow will be the same.

Now I have been in both situations with the same women. The first one lasted a week and if I didn't know any better I'd say someone started a v@gina embargo. That was lifted almost as soon as scenario #2 was implimented. Needless to say I was outa that situation in less then 3 weeks.

Now I know some of you are going to respond, "Well thats what raising kids is!" And my counter is , "Yes, that's what raising kids is when YOU have them. As much as I have sacrifed to get where I am, I can only sacrifice enough for the dealings of one existing child.

And before anyone calls me selfish, let it be known, I, Peter_Hungus, have been aiding alot of single moms through philathropy since 1992 ( forced Federal and State taxation; EBT, WIC and subdises).

OP, you should not have a fear of dating single moms. It is simply a cost/ benefit analsys of whether you want to make signifcant life sacrifices for someone else's responsibilities with little benefit to yourself.

Pete
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 283
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/16/2012 12:36:30 PM
I remember not entirely too long ago I decided to break my own rule and take a chance at dating a single mother. There were a few things that tipped the scales for me.

- She would never sleep over because she wanted to be home when her 5-year old daughter woke up each day.
- I really don't like investing time/money/energy in trying to make the kid happy for the sake of getting mom's approval.
- Daughter Mom and Grandma lived under the same roof. Grandma's husband passed away quite a few years back, no uncles in close proximity, and no male teachers at school. I was the first memorable male figure that she had in her life, and I could tell my impact based on how quickly she clung to me. I have little desire to be a designated role model for any part of the next generation, regardless of how many good ideas I think I have.
- I felt a pretty intense amount of resentment because dad was not in the picture whatsoever, and seeing how my ducks are in a row, I was essentially a prime candidate for being replacement father. I couldn't stand the idea of such extreme cuckoldry.
- There were maybe 2 times (which equated to 1 or 2 times too many) where she would use her daughter to tug at my heart-strings to get me to do something. I don't know if either of them were planned that way, but I'm not going to let a child's innocence sway my decision making, especially when it's not even mine.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 284
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/16/2012 1:11:11 PM
threads like this always depress me, even if just a little. not because the things here arent true, but mostly because they are. that means our chances in our 30's of getting into a successful relationship where our needs as men are actually met, is pretty slim. im 33 years old, and in my locale, youre going to be very hard pressed to find a decent single lady who isnt also a single mom. so basically, men can either get used to the scenarios that pete described here, or stay single and sleep around. which one do you ladies think most of us will choose?

mrcs: i have a friend who just recently got out of the army. while he was enlisted overseas, he met a very cool asian girl, and married her. no disrespect to the ladies in the western hemisphere, but if i were you, id follow my friends example.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 285
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/16/2012 2:10:58 PM

I remember not entirely too long ago I decided to break my own rule and take a chance at dating a single mother


Yup. I remember too. Alot of people on the forums did. You blasted everywhere that you never would. So, what made you change your mind?


I really don't like investing time/money/energy in trying to make the kid happy for the sake of getting mom's approval.


Thats your own guilt trip hang up. Not right to put it back on mom. If you spent money and time to suck up to kid, no one but you did that...and I dont think mom asked you...?

IMO, I think what put a bad taste in your mouth about single mothers was that this one didnt seem to be on the same level as you. She lived with mom and grandma. There are plenty of single mothers who are independent and take care of their own households and quite financially stable. (myself included).

Based off of your postings, its best you dont date single mothers. No harm no foul.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 286
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/16/2012 5:24:24 PM
Pete now unfortunately finds himself on the hook for child support for the 3 children


In all fairness though Chef, I live in the States and there is no perceived fatherhood legislation. And the state I live in, Delaware, has no common law marriage clauses. That being said, as long as I never gotten formally married, there is no backlash in that scenario no matter how long I stayed in that situation.


I couldn't stand the idea of such extreme cuckoldry.


Lol! After reading alot of your posts I must say you are quite a wordsmith. I have to disagree on one thing though. I don't think you can really blame a woman for not wanting to forgo having her 5 year old one night. That is very much the "tender years".


[7]- Kids are a great excuse to go and see that new disney movie that your buddy's would never go to see but that you secretly want to see, but you'll tell them you were 'forced' to go... (Hey, I even enjoyed some of the Pokemon movies...)


Tangled
Shh.. I bought it for my daughter lol
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 287
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/16/2012 6:02:42 PM

OP, you should not have a fear of dating single moms. It is simply a cost/ benefit analsys of whether you want to make signifcant life sacrifices for someone else's responsibilities with little benefit to yourself.


You are exactly right in that it is a cost/benefit analysis. You fail to recognize that for those who are able to deal with and/or welcome such a situation, there is great benefit to them. What you call making sacrifice some call sharing with those they love. Family is defined personally. Thank God for my stepdad!
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 288
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/16/2012 6:37:25 PM

You are exactly right in that it is a cost/benefit analysis. You fail to recognize that for those who are able to deal with and/or welcome such a situation, there is great benefit to them. What you call making sacrifice some call sharing with those they love. Family is defined personally. Thank God for my stepdad!


Ya know, I am not a prideful man. And there is much wisdom in the words you said in one paragraph then I have read in countless pages in these forums. I wish in all of the situtations I have been in to expierence what your step dad has been for you now that I could be potentially in those shoes. However, I have yet to meet any woman with childeren that has made me always feel that I am every much a part of her family, the family and to be a man that does not see his actions as sacrifices of himself, but the actions of a father to a family that he is and always will be part of. And if there are women out there like that, they are becoming less common by the day and generation.

Kudos to your Mom and Step-dad!
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 289
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/16/2012 7:43:12 PM
mrcs: i have a friend who just recently got out of the army. while he was enlisted overseas, he met a very cool asian girl, and married her. no disrespect to the ladies in the western hemisphere, but if i were you, id follow my friends example.


Interestingly, I hear that kind of talk a lot here in Okinawa. Men here see the huge difference in how Japanese women behave relative to American woman. They will find a local to marry, and even extend their stays. I know one Senior Chief who has been here for 11 years. The women here take better care of their bodies, are more pleasant, and don't act even remotely as entitled as your average American women. All the service members have to do is overcome the language barrier.

I personally blame it on the fact that feminism hasn't completely poisoned Japan in the same way as it has for western society. Men here are actually appreciated for being who they are. In the US, just -being- a man is damn near politically incorrect anymore. Even the most socially awkward poindexter guys are able to get form relationships with Okinawan 8s and 9s. But then again, there are is a significantly higher percentage of attractive women to go around here (It must be something in the water). Additionally, with how long our presence has been in this country, I seriously doubt the locals are naive to the fact that a big chunk of the service members just want to have a taste of the local "pie."

Speaking of marriage, even when you factor in the women who marry just to get their citizenship and then promptly bolt, the divorce rate is still only 30% for men who marry foreign women. Just a random factoid to wrap your heads around. Personally I think it is rather depressing that things have gotten so bad in America that many men refuse to date American woman altogether. Moreover the proof is in the pudding that it -doesn't- go both ways (at least in the military). Male service members will date locals, female service members will date other service members, generally finding men in a force that they -aren't- in. Either that, or the finally come out of the closet. I have friends in Bahrain, Italy, Germany, and Guam who will attest to the same trend.


Yup. I remember too. Alot of people on the forums did. You blasted everywhere that you never would. So, what made you change your mind?

Mostly it's because I have known the woman for about 8 years, so I had a pretty good understanding of her character. I figured I would take a chance, this also being despite the fact that she is the epitome of the kind of single mom I have the least amount of respect for, I.e. she accidentally got knocked up by a fling and decided to keep it.



Thats your own guilt trip hang up. Not right to put it back on mom. If you spent money and time to suck up to kid, no one but you did that...and I dont think mom asked you...?

It would pay off if you were a little more pragmatic. I don't see how any woman would expect the man they are with to be completely cold and not involved with their child once things got even remotely serious. I could just see those conversations now.
"Hun, could you pick Timmy up from school? I am feeling under the weather."
"He's your kid. You go get him."

I am not blaming her for the state of things. I am simply pointing out the dynamic of the relationship. Regardless, I have no obligation to put up with it.


IMO, I think what put a bad taste in your mouth about single mothers was that this one didnt seem to be on the same level as you. She lived with mom and grandma. There are plenty of single mothers who are independent and take care of their own households and quite financially stable. (myself included).


My wording may have been a little unclear, but the lady I was dating lived with her mom. So it was grandma (her mom), mom (her), and daughter living under one roof.
Anyway, the mentality I had regarding single mothers came before this "bad taste in my mouth." Her being independent honestly may have made things harder because grandma was available to play babysitter fairly often. Even with a mom being financially stable, there are still A LOT things that single moms can't do that childfree women can.



Based off of your postings, its best you dont date single mothers. No harm no foul.

Q.F.T.



Lol! After reading alot of your posts I must say you are quite a wordsmith. I have to disagree on one thing though. I don't think you can really blame a woman for not wanting to forgo having her 5 year old one night. That is very much the "tender years".

I can understand her mentality. She has her particulars with her child, and the sleeping at home is one of them. Just like I was talking with one lady and she said that she doesn't give blowjobs to men because her lips are the same lips she uses to kiss her kids with.

That's just the thing though, as the childfree partner in a relationship, they are expected to compromise and they acquiesce with a lot of the decisions made because, well, it's not their decision to make because it's not their child. Moreover, people often get very defensive when someone makes any sort of critique about their parenting, so the childfree person just has to grit their teeth and bear it.

"I can't do X because blah blah blah, my kid, yadda yadda. I know you will understand. Thanks."

Indeed I do understand, and I hope she can understand when I take my understanding self elsewhere. K, thanks. Bye!
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 290
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/17/2012 8:23:12 AM

Men here see the huge difference in how Japanese women behave relative to American woman.


Because they are "yes" women (insert rolly eye here)
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 291
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/17/2012 9:42:31 AM

Because they are "yes" women (insert rolly eye here)


I happen to know some very successful proffesional Japanese woman...further thing from being a "yes" woman and they still retain a difference or retain their being female outside of the proffesional setting....or even better perhaps some of the Parisian woman who are very good at standing up on their own without loosing their femininity or allure of being a woman. Always found the Parisian woman very easily understand the differences between the sexes without feeling they have to butch up so they could be successful.
 VSky21
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 292
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/17/2012 11:35:15 AM
Peter_Hungus is hilarious! lol I'm a single mother of two kids, 7 years old and 3 years old, and if I found myself in scenario #2 with a single father...I would eventually just leave as well. It's interesting to know what some people think the single parent household life is like though lol If my life was like Petes Scenario #2...jeez, I would be stressed out! I know a few households where it's like that but the households aren't with single parents...the parents have been together for years or are married. I'm sure there are single parents with households like that as well. I love my life, my kids are great, respectful, polite, playful, funny and a joy to be around. Lots of stereotypes out there for single parents---It's very simple people--If you dont want to date someone because they're a parent regardless if they're attractive, intelligent, independant, happy, well off, etc etc then DONT. Single parents, female and male, have to decide if they want to date someone who doesn't have kids/never wants kids or if we rather date someone with a kid(kids). Believe me, there are definitely pros and cons for single parents to consider as well! Pete-- all working people(male and female) have helped single parents through "philathropy" --those forced federal and state taxation; EBT, WIC and subdises you speak of--not only single mothers benefit from that, single fathers do as well! but that's a different forum all together lol That's just how it is if you live here in the good 'ol USA. I'm sure everyone has gripes about it but it is what it is.
---
OP: You're 23...you're an adult. Not sure why you would need a public opinion of who to date...everyone has their own opinions based off their own experiences. Some will say NEVER date a single parent EVER EVER EVER! and then proceed to scare you senseless with horror stories and all the negative possibilities and some will say ABSOLUTELY date a single parent, they are the BEST, hands down!! Do it or your immature etc The fact is your an adult...date who you want. If you meet a great girl and she has a kid, give it a try. If you meet a great girl and she's childless, give it a shot. If you don't want kids right now, then be safe, and dont have kids. If you don't think you can deal/interact with someone elses child then dont bother going that route. It's really not a tough life decision...I think you're worrying too much about nothing. Until you figure things out, maybe it's best to focus on yourself and get your ducks in a row. Good luck!
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 293
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/18/2012 1:31:05 PM
It's interesting to know what some people think the single parent household life is like


Vsky, that wasn't me theorizing, that was a first hand account of a experience I was in. I liken my self to a survivor of the Donner Party, who lived and recanted his tale of a harrowing ordeal.

MrWrong1978, I didnt realize how close we live together. I had a rental property on Smith street a few blocks from Salisbury University. Perhaps your over the hill for dating college students, but that place is crawling
with pu...young women. I would recommend you relocating to a different area as was mentioned to me on another thread. The only available women in our area are generally obese since that epidemic has stricken our area more so than others and perhaps because all the land is flat. I would recommend western Maryland near Cumberland or close to the Appalachian Mountains. Most women there have more conservative/ Christian leaning that value family. And although this may sound crass and this is just between Mano to Mano but women there have taunt v6ginas which I attribute to routinley traversing mountainous terran. Also I just wanted to say I have nothing againest overweight/ obese people, it's just I personally cannot get aroused by such. (lest if I've been consuming beverages with significant quanities of Ethanol )

OP, I want to point out as well is date who makes you happy. If single moms with/ a certain amount of kids is too much for you to handle then I would say avoid them. Single parents have enough on thier plate and if you cannot handle it everyone suffers for it, espcially the kids. I'm man enough to know/omit how much I can handle and don't waste others time if I can't. Don't fear single moms, fear being in a Turkish prison.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 294
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/18/2012 4:02:43 PM
peter: small world man! i dont live too far from the university myself. plenty of college girls around here, but i hevent been looking for a fling since i was in my mid 20's. besides, i am kinda old for most of those girls now lol.

trust me, id LOVE to relocate, but i own my home, and its just not financially feasible for me to purchase another at the moment. this area just keeps going further and further downhill each year too. its a shame, because when i was younger, i actually used to like this town. not any longer.
 VSky21
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 295
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/19/2012 11:20:51 PM
Peter_Hungus, I said "people" not you personally. You had a "harrowing ordeal" dating a single parent--just like I know single parents who have had a "harrowing ordeal" dating men/women who are childless. It goes both ways. I find your outlook on single parents very amusing....just like I find it amusing to know some of my friends who are single parents and avoid men/women who are childless. I think it's silly. Everyone has preferences that sometimes are made from their bad experiences. I'm open to both sides myself. Maybe because I haven't had any bad experiences with dating childless men or men who are single parents. I admit dating single dads is something I lean towards because we both have a kid or kids that we adore and love. Something that makes us relate off the top but I don't refuse to talk to men who are childless either. I think the grouping that someone does...rather it be grouping single parents, childless men/women, race,gender, poor, rich etc etc...is just small minded and gives stereotypes more power. It would be similar to me saying "I had a bad experience with a (fill in the race) man and I refuse to date any men in that race-- EVER again! That race of men are pigs and they treat women like dirt on the bottom of their shoes and etc"...same thing. Even though alot of people out there can figure out that you can't group people based off one bad experience..sad to say that some people can't wrap their minds around it. The people that have figured it out just sit back and slowly shake our heads when we hear or read such things and as much as we may try to point certain things out, at the end of the day, people will believe what they want and feed into the stereotypes and empower these stereotypes. I'm just glad I don't have any hang ups. Thank goodness for that!
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 296
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/20/2012 7:21:13 AM
Well said VSky. My viewpoint is exactly the same. I am open to dating childless men or single fathers...I also lean towards the single fathers because of the same outlook. Of course Ive had some not so great dealings with both, but, I guess I just dont let them turn into hang ups. being burned (take your verbage pick) define who I date. Im not THAT jaded ;)
 VSky21
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 297
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Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/20/2012 6:03:57 PM
Rivergirl--exactly!
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 298
Fear of dating single mothers
Posted: 11/20/2012 10:58:52 PM
vsky21: the scenario that peter described to you detailed a relationship with a single mom isnt exactly a rarity, its what ive come to expect. ive dated quite a few single moms so i have some experience with this. he hit the nail on the head of what its like from a mans perspective. perhaps the single moms dont see it, as men arent generally so open with their feelings and complaints, but thats pretty much how it goes down.
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