Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > need advice      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 smhrgs3000
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 31
need advicePage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Well, just maybe there was another aganda at play during this "grand dinner".
First, when you were fixing things, and you found she "accidentally" positioning her ample assets directly in your line of sight, are you sure it was all that "accidental"?
My experience is that mast ladies keep their assets under tight control, and only "accidentally" flash em when & where they want to.
Confidence and the need to be, and feel, attractive and desirable are incredibly important to all ladies, am I right girls?
You say she'd been dumped by her husband of 30 years for a younger woman. Had she dated any since? Was she just now starting to feel that she could still be desirable, and was testing her "bait" by trolling it past you just to gauge your reaction?
If you reacted to her spagetti straps & pearls like most men with testicles would, lol, then I suspect you truly made her feel attractive. Perhaps that was just the confidence boost she'd been needing, and didn't even realize what assistance you truly did provide.
I suspect that you fixed more than just the cabinets, lol. Good on ya guy.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 32
view profile
History
need advice
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:29:29 PM
OP - ok, so you find her sexually attracting, but you don't want to "date her". Fine. If you go over for dinner at her place, it doesn't mean you need to sleep with her. I say have dinner with her (if you enjoy her company). YOU do have the means and control of your emotions as to whether you want to have sex with her. It sounds to me, like you have a little bit of the ol cake & eat it too syndrome. What ever you decide to do, DO NOT introduce your dance friend as your girlfriend. That's bullshitting BOTH your dance friend and your friend in the apartment complex. NEITHER women deserve that. You can be friends with the apartment lady, have dinner from time to time, and help her fix things. Have you given it any thought that perhaps, her fixing dinner is showing you gratitude for making your life easier? It doesn't mean she wants to bed you, much less wed you!!! Quit the crap of making it more than what it really seems.
 karmicfilly
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 33
need advice
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:46:42 PM
Ok Geez. What ever happened to the truth. Why is it you are so afraid to tell the truth.
You could say, I so appreciate our friendship and would like to remain just that, friends.
It is my feeling that we are not compatible in the ways that I need. It's ok to have needs
that don't match up with others. Just because they chose us doesn't mean we have to
be chosen. Understand? Stand up and be the man, be honest, have integrity.
 hellsapopin
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 34
view profile
History
need advice
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:55:42 PM

Well, just maybe there was another aganda at play during this "grand dinner".
First, when you were fixing things, and you found she "accidentally" positioning her ample assets directly in your line of sight, are you sure it was all that "accidental"?
My experience is that mast ladies keep their assets under tight control, and only "accidentally" flash em when & where they want to.
Confidence and the need to be, and feel, attractive and desirable are incredibly important to all ladies, am I right girls?
You say she'd been dumped by her husband of 30 years for a younger woman. Had she dated any since? Was she just now starting to feel that she could still be desirable, and was testing her "bait" by trolling it past you just to gauge your reaction?
If you reacted to her spagetti straps & pearls like most men with testicles would, lol, then I suspect you truly made her feel attractive. Perhaps that was just the confidence boost she'd been needing, and didn't even realize what assistance you truly did provide.
I suspect that you fixed more than just the cabinets, lol. Good on ya guy.


It was actually accidental viewing the "assets". She was seated and I was standing behind her looking at the keyboard.

As for your other points I mostly agree. I think she was testing to see if she was still attractive and could turn a man's head and not have to actually date him. As for if she has dated, I truly don't know. I haven't seen anybody but that doesn't prove anything.
That dress she wore to the dinner was really something. I still think about it.
 hellsapopin
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 35
view profile
History
need advice
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:00:28 AM

Since there has been no discussion between you of the dinner invite, and the why she asked. Pretty much everything is your assumptions, have you considered that she might not be looking for anything long term either and she just wants a fwb too.


Read post #43 as it describes the actual dinner. She is clearly not looking for a fwb. I believe she is still trying to recover from the trauma of being replaced by her husband of almost 30 years with a younger replacement.
 hellsapopin
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
need advice
Posted: 1/15/2009 4:13:23 PM
I actually think now it was pretty funny the way it all turned out. Perhaps we all need a dose of humility now and then.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 37
view profile
History
need advice
Posted: 1/17/2009 4:49:39 PM
She may have invited you to dinner as a thank you for doing all the odd jobs. There may be no more to it than that. I would go to the dinner and just chat with her. If the conversation gets round to relationships, just be honest and tell her you're into casual relationships which you suspect isn't her style. That will probably put her off, if she's at all interested.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > need advice