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 wooliepack
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 139
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Have all the really older guys given up?Page 3 of 51    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I've been wondering the same thing about women. I keep meeting perfectly nice ladies who have totally shut themselves down from romance. They've gone through disastrous marriages and other crises that they've actually brought on themselves, but never grew out of. They pull back from dating, but they never return.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 141
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:16:19 AM
I'm 49 this month and I've become extremely disappointed with the ways things are. I work in an environment where I am around hundreds of women 40 hours a week. What I've witnessed and experienced through my years has been discouraging. Discouraging in the sense of what I've witnessed.... not what I've been part of/involved in.

It's not that all women are that way. But to find an unselfish partner is becoming more difficult. I have other interests that warrant my attention and I'm ok with that. I'll admit it does get discouraging at times. But, for now, I avert those feelings by spending time with my children and working a lot of overtime.

In my opinion, women have become extremely selfish and self centred in many respects. It's destructive to themself and that kinda behaviour makes me walk away from them.

It's becoming an "I want" kinda thing. It's not even an "I'd like that" thing.... kinda like a child taking a toy from another child but doesn't really want it - it's simply a selfish power struggle.

As far as dating younger guys rather than men their age..... that's a different topic.... it's kinda like the middle aged man buying a flashy sports car. Looks and feels great as long as you're not expecting a lot of miles from it.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 142
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:29:16 AM

I firmly believe that older single men are single for a reason. They started out as jerks to begin with, and just got jerkier with age. That explains why they're still single!




Wow! That's harsh and most likely...wrong. And why are you still single? I'm 49 and was married for ten years. She decided in the last year she wanted a completely different life, and well...it's not like I could control her mind and say, no you don't. So now I'm a single guy and I'm no jerk. so...just sayin.



..Yes, that is harsh. There's always two sides to every relationship break-up. My husband was the one that felt life was passing him by and wanted out. When I married him I assumed it was going to be forever....hmmm, was I in for a surprise.

Men are single because of circumstances beyond thier control just as woman are.

...maeflowers
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 143
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:19:51 PM
i can't speak for the older guys, but i've given up.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 144
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:41:49 PM
No ......... I am not bitter but .........

from above:
"women have become extremely selfish and self centred in many respects"

I watched it happen over 20 years. Seventeen of those years was right here in this house.

I am not the only one that saw it. Both daughters (her girls my step daughters) also witnessed it. They have both talked to me (they brought it up, I didn't). Both girls gave up on her being "mom" and place her more of a sister or something. She just dropped all motherly instincts in her rush for me me me. (her her her) They have even caught her in blatant lies. Crap like one daughter wanted to stop by and visit her. She was told "I am not at home". The girl drove by and SAW HER at home. Other things like her friends are trumping her own daughters.

I think it all came with the push (the rush - the crowd mentality) for equality. It all went way way too far.

It won't stop in my lifetime. I can only hope, years down the road - everyone realizes - that the going way way too far has caused more harm than good. (for anyone including females)

Besides a few body parts ...... male and female ARE DIFFERENT. Instead of trying to equal (or even overrun) the other gender - we should cherish the difference.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 148
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:16:04 PM
I really don't worry about being alone anymore.....and this thread is one aspect of the forums that can be very negative in general....the mass generalizations of segments of the population, how they don't measure up, etc
It only takes one to be your partner and then the rest who condemn don't matter.
I don't actively look often, not on a mission so to speak, but will never close my heart to the possibility of finding someone.
The bitterness in parts of this thread is just too much.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 149
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:28:03 PM

That's it. The world hates me. My heart is unloved. I must take my leave of this uncaring multitude of picky women. A man can only try so long and then he must admit defeat. O, and woe, so much love to give, such strong arms to wrap around her, and hands, I have hands, that can caress her cares away and also fold the laundry, but no, it is not to be, my fate is sealed, no tears will be shed for me as I go, unnoticed, unwanted, unappreciated, unbespoken, overlooked, died neglected on the vine of romantic wistfulness, my silent sobs unheard, as the laughter of days that might have been echo in my unnibbled ears. No, it's too late...do not leap into my arms begging me to stay, offering up your compassionate bosoms to comfort my tear streaked face, my quivering nose, nor attempt to revive my failing breath with your heated scent of unbridled passion. It's of no use, alas. I go; I must quit.

It still needs work


...Oh you poor man, my heart bleeds for you....I can't read anymore, the tears... they are blinding me.

Oh btw, it does need a little work, but hey....you could always write a country song.

...maeflowers
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 150
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:50:20 PM

That's it. The world hates me. My heart is unloved. I must take my leave...

I too have had times when everybody hates me and nobody loves me. Hey, wait a minute, maybe it's happening to me right now. In times such as you describe, I go to the garden to eat worms.
 luvtoview
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 152
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/28/2009 11:13:26 PM
omg............that was funny.....dribble and snot!...........help, I've fallen outa my chair and can't get back up........!!
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 157
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:36:33 PM

Women can get married even if they are strange or from other planets...


really???

wow! i must have been doing something absolutely horribly wrong my whole life!

*sigh*
 7iron
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 164
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:01:43 AM
Given up or wised up? After a couple of years of playing these silly, silly games of endless messaging and phone conversations before finally getting to the first meet only to be disappointed, time after time, the instant you meet someone because they have totally misrepresented themselves, I choose to think I have wised up. No more internet dating. Meeting someone in the real world removes any doubt about someone's age or physical appearance so you are able to then explore the rest of the factors of compatibility.
 mikehubb58
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 167
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:42:34 AM
wow,
sounds like you women have a small problem. sorry to hear that you cant find someone..
 ncart
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 168
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:20:00 PM
My 98 year old grandfather married a 63 year old woman. So the ALL the older men haven't given up. We teased him about robbing the cradle.

Perhaps some have. Perhaps some women have too. However, all I need to find is ONE exception.

You never fail until you quit trying.

"Wether you believe you can or you can't, you're right" - Henry Ford.

Thats my two cents worth, hope I didn't overcharge you.

Arthur
 vapeninsula
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 169
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:44:53 PM

Ms. Shirley? OP ..........You're never too old to be on a dating site!



As men age do they just give up wanting the company of a woman?


Be forwarned, most men on dating sites want to email forever! They aren't interested in meeting in person. Mostly because of their own insecurities.


There's no need to speak bitterly on here. You're not the only person who is not getting the results they had hoped. I could say that most women are too picky and probably aren't as good as their profiles say they are; but I won't because I don't believe it's mostly true. The only thing I do believe is that women get many more emails than men, if for no other reason then the nature of men.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 171
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:06:11 AM
bencasey - Msg 222

I won't say I've completely given, just 95% given up. Just don't see a lot out there that interests me and its too much work. I'm quite happy with my lifestyle, living on the beach, playing tennis and volleyball, riding my bike, seeing friends, enjoying my hobbies. For one thing, I'm not looking for someone who has spent their life married and hasn't really traveled or had much fun and now wants to. I did all of that in my 30s and 40s and now I'm more interested in enjoying being home. I'm sorry that so many women never had a chance to do those things when they were younger but I did and have no great interest to now.

Yes, there is a definite disconnect in this area, and I think you nailed it down quite accurately. Many men can identify with what you expressed.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 177
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:34:00 PM

I really liked dontwait1956 comments.


does this mean you're going to run off to Columbia with him?


I think a lot of women that are over 40 are bitter.


and there are no men over 40 who are bitter?
 Passionate_Cher
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 180
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:44:59 PM
WOW...Lady, you took the words right out of my mouth!!

I can't even seem to get a date to a movie or coffee these days...I don't think I am that bad looking...maybe not a Beauty Queen...but, how many are???

I am so frustrated with these sights...I can't even get to first base with a man on them...even been on e-Harmony...what a joke! All the men they sent me were ready for their easy chair and the remote control!

I just want what everyone on here is looking for...companionship!
 Passionate_Cher
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 181
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 4:46:18 PM
I AM a GOOD Woman!!!!
 Passionate_Cher
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 183
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:07:54 PM
My fellow Redhead...Touche'!!!!
 callmelori
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 186
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:31:01 PM
tresor cache typed...
Many times they haven't gotten over the last retard that screwed them over.

OK, FIRST, I absolutely cracked up when I read that. Second...that applies to both men and women. I've met my fair share of men who haven't gotten over the hurt some woman inflicted upon them and will do anything not to be alone or feel alone. I've also met men who are still carrying a torch for someone who left them.

Lastly...some of these posts are absolutely unbelievable. Men talk about women with bitter attitudes...wow...read your own posts. No doubt there are MANY people with bitter attitudes, both men and women. No gender has a lock on that one.

I'm one of those women who has worked hard throughout my career, is in management, makes a decent salary, and I'm proud of that. I don't think I'm better than anyone, men or women. We all have different goals in life, and one of my goals was to be successful in business. I've dated men who made far less than I do and men who make the same as I do. The only difference I've found is that one of the guys who made less than me asked me for a loan (which I gave to him). There are so many things to do (around Chicago) that don't require money at all or are fairly cheap. I think the company is the most important thing, not the activity.

From a woman's point of view, and this is strictly MY opinion, it's fine when the guy makes more money than the woman, but now that women are becoming as successful in business, it's a hard pill for some men (not all men) to swallow and those women are labeled bitter and angry and "man haters." I'm not a man hater. I don't care what salary the man makes. If he's working, he's good to go. However, I resent being stereotyped by some men as a bitter man-hater just because I've achieved some of my career goals. Yeah, I said it...I resent it. Get over it already. You're not getting my job! [crackin' up]
 chance747
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 187
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:36:56 PM
lol, hmmm, well yes there are a lot of older people bitter, men and women, but hey im single, and am still looking for a donna reed, and i enjoy each day, dont even think of being bitter, sheesh why waist the time, i do enjoy each day, and make someone smile every day, and if thats the only time that person smiles that day, then ive been the good part of his or her day...smile, be happy,....
 chaswm
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 189
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:24:03 AM
Such an interesting thread! I am not sure what defines "older"; chronologically I am 58. I do not feel 58, I do not look 58, I do not think 58 and I do not act 58. This is not a case of arrested development - I am just not ready to be "older". I know how to start a conversation, carry a conversation and finish a conversation. What I don't know how to do is interpret "women speak". I read the profiles here (and on other sights) and the thing that jumps out at me time and time again is the phrase "friends first". Perhaps I am misunderstanding what is being said. However, my experience with female friends (and I do have some) is they do not see me as a romantic interest. So I assume I need to look elsewhere for romance.
I enjoy this site (and others like it) for the education I am getting about women. It seems that, while integrity and honesty are high on a woman's list of deisrable qualities in a prospective mate, women post photos that are years old and have a huge an inability to understand that "average" or a "few extra pounds" does not equate to being 5' and weighing more than I do.
I play golf because I like to play golf - not because I don't have a girlfriend. There are things I don't do right now because they are more fun with a significant other. When I read a profile that piques my interest because of shared interests, I send a note. I rarely get a response. I am sure there are reasons for this. Sometimes I feel it is because I am not Brad Pitt's lookalike, or I am not 30 years old, or I wear glasses. Most of the time I think it is because women are as afraid of rejection as I am. To paraphrase William Churchill, "Courage is not the absence of fear, it is taking action in spite of fear". I know if I sit around waiting for my love to fall in my lap I am going to be alone for awhile.
As I mentioned earlier, I have women friends. And I value those friendships. But those friendships do not fill the void of an intimate relationship. And by "intimate relationship" I mean mental, emotional, physical and sexual intimacy. Hard to find, hard to keep and well worth the effort.
Charley
 vapeninsula
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 190
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:24:01 PM
Cher needs to correct the age in her profile.
 wacowboy3
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 192
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/12/2009 1:42:28 PM
Again, I have not given up , but I sure am frustrated LOL I guess I have no idea how to meet women. When I was young the bar was the place to meet women. Now ,it seems the women my age or younger dont go to bars. I keep hearing that the grocery store is a great place to meet people. I dunno , maybe I am shy, but I have this vision of me pushing my cart around the grocery store, trying to see if this attractive woman has a wedding ring on when suddenly she runs screaming STALKER< STALKER lol I do like the internet dating sites, because you assume that someone that is on a personals site, is single, is looking, but thats not always the case either. I find women my age or close to my age either dont post a picture, put up a picture that is years old , or before they gained 75 lbs and still list there body type as average LOL Average to me is correct body weight to height or within 5,10, 15 lbs overweight. No I am not looking for barbie , I understand that with age, women and men alike bodies change, but I am sorry , I just cant do fat . Then there are the women that are serial daters, they seem to want a string of men to date. Then there are the no sex before marriage ladies. Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship , but it is very important. If all you are wanting in a relationship is companionship say so . I am still young enought to believe that companionship without sex is just buddies. I dont want a buddy, I want a companion that loves me and that includes a healthy desire to be sexual also . Crap this should be an exciting time in our lives now that the kids are raised and on there own, we are reaching retirement age. Where in the hell are the women in my area that truly want a relationship. Also , I am so tried of writing to women who share my hopes, dreams, activities, and never recieve a response , atleast say sorry yer old , yer ugly dude, hit the road LOL that would be better than no responce . I think if a woman really is looking for a relationship, its helpful if she sometimes makes the first move also .
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