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 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 193
Have all the really older guys given up?Page 4 of 51    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I would like to meet a man my age who has not been married, as I have not been married. Most seem to perceive this as a red flag, a few do not. Every one is an individual, and saying that a man who has not been married cannot sustain a long term relationship or a committment sounds weird to us who have not been married, as to us people who are divorced sometimes could not keep a committment. Again, everyone has their own story to tell and I really try not to make any kind of rash decision about someone until I get to know him. It does seem as if many people make the blanket statement that something is wrong with us who have not been married based on one bad experience with a never been married man or woman. If someone is like that, I would not want him in my life anyway. By middle age it does seem as if a lot of men do not want to get married or get married again, or want a long term relationship of substance. Maybe they have been hurt so badly they just do not have what it takes to find love again.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 197
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:00:13 PM
STOP THE PRESSES ... (if any of them are still running)

Robert Redford just married a chick 20 years younger than he is and ......

He is WAY older than me.

----------

WAIT .... he is Robert Redford ...... so nevermind.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 198
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:07:21 PM
I just saw that when I was reading stuff online.....and she looks like an average woman.........can you believe it? I thought my age range of 40-60 was broad, maybe I should broaden it more, but then RR does not look like most men I meet who are in their 70s, dang it.....
 Namredips
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 204
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:41:29 AM

Firstly, Shirley I think that for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.


Somebody hasn't been doing the math. It doesn't work that way - not even close.


All I know is that the one sure fire way of NOT winning the lottery is to make sure that you DON'T have a VALID ticket in it.


OK, maybe math isn't this poster's strong suit...

I'm sorry but I didn't like this post at all... and the sleeping on the couch part... sounds pretty pathetic...

Not all men become more pathetic as they get older however - some start out pathetic of course... but generally speaking, most men, older or not, would appreciate even crave the company of the RIGHT woman. If guys are giving up, it's because they have gotten in a rut and have given up on their "type"... they aren't pursuing the right woman for them.

Perhaps after settling for someone they cannot stand... for years sometimes... they don't think there really IS a right woman out there. Add that with the drop in testosterone that often accompanies the shift to old(er) age and you may indeed find men who have given up... in their minds.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 205
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:55:00 AM

Perhaps after settling for someone they cannot stand... for years sometimes... they don't think there really IS a right woman out there. Add that with the drop in testosterone that often accompanies the shift to old(er) age and you may indeed find men who have given up... in their minds.


^^Wow, wow, and wow! Nam, I don't think you have any idea just how astute that comment was! Thought you were speaking of "my" past. Yes, indeed, it does work both ways in that respect. I wonder how/what it will take to get us both male and female to overcome this way of thinking. Tis truly our own detriment to happiness.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 206
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:18:00 AM
I find that a lot of men are still in love with their ex wife, who after years of marriage to him couldn't stand him so she wanted a divorce. Many times the women seemed to use and abuse the men, but are good looking, so they seem to want a woman who looks and acts like she did, but whine that she used and abused him and had affairs. These men may not have given up, but to me they are not dating material for someone such as myself, who might not be a hot babe to them, but I do not respect or want a man who lets a woman use and abuse him or who is attracted to abusive women. Some seem to think that saying they have not had sex in ...... months will get them access to me and my bed, and when I say no they then react like a child who is told that he cannot have a toy and tell me they did not want me anyway that I am ugly or probably gay, etc. I know there are a lot of older men who act nothing like the men I have discribed, and have met many wonderful men on POF, who respect themselves and women and are way beyond this type of pain and behavior.
 TigerinCalifornia
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 210
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:10:27 AM
I have not given up. I am finding it hard to meet someone from this site. It seems that I hardly ever get responses to my replies to a profile. This is what is making me just about give up on POF. I don't understand why, when you have taken the time to read a woman's profile and send a response, she can't just reply back with a thanks but not really interested instead of just read/delete or read and not reply. Am I asking for too much?
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 212
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:53:39 AM
Given up on sex you mean? I'm 44, somewhere between drinking age and senior citizen, and libido is not the problem. But guys in their sixties have either lost their erections completely, or require the help of Viagra, Cialis or some other med to help them spring it to life. And not all guys are healthy enough for sex! High blood pressure and other factors could make a hardon a lethal experience. Cut them some slack. Given a choice between no sex and death, I'll take no sex.
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 213
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/18/2009 12:08:35 PM
To kpooks, Msg: 277. I'm one of those guys in their sixties (with a son your age); perhaps I should be checking in the morning to make sure it is not rigor mortis!
 mikehubb58
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 216
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/8/2010 12:41:30 PM
easy on the older single men theory. if im not mistaken that question was asked by an older lady. and why is she single or any of you older women. that goes both ways you know. just something to keep in mind. i like being single. i married early and never got to experience the freedom of single life un til a couple years ago. so take it easy on us please.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 224
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/8/2010 9:58:32 PM
~OT~ I find this thread interesting (like an accident, I want to look away and just can't! LOL) I'm a tried/true traditional-gender-role person. Those older than me aren't generally open to that (as is stated innumerable times in this thread.) Since I prefer like-minds, I opt to meet/date those who think on that note (seems much more accepted by those very near my own age.) People (not just men) do give up, I don't know why that is. Then they seem to blame the opposite sex for their decisions ("men/women my age are x, y, z, so ......") I think that's a cop-out. We make our own choices about our health, fitness level, activity levels, etc. All I know about giving up is that it's not an option for me, and I won't accept someone into my life with that attitude. JMO
 Avalon96
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 225
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/8/2010 11:45:47 PM
I don't think they have given up as a group, but it's possible that some of them
are not interested in pursuing a relationship. They just may not feel up to the task
anymore.
In an earlier post it was stated that as you get older the ratio of women to men rises,
creating a shortage.
My advice if for the guys, stay in shape,live clean, take your vitamins,
you could end up as the only rooster that can crow in the seniors complex.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 226
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2010 5:37:41 AM
LADYT19A,it's attitudes like your's that keep me single...in my younger days i would tolerate alot becauase the women were hot and worth it...now they are not and because i actually have some standards and expectations i find alot of women my age who bring very little to the table other than showing up at their conveinence,living in the past they still think they have what it takes to motivate a man to romance and assertiveness..."all laid back and comfortable" or just tired of women's little princess games where a man jumps through hoops and does tricks to show he's worthy...."25 year old supermodels" can command that kind of attention...obese middle aged women cannot....years ago it was i'm hot and worth it,now it seems to be i'm old and fat and still worth it.
 Mrpbody44
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 228
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:38:52 AM
That's the bump on the log approach. Sit there like a bump on a log. Guess what? There is no market for log bumps. That guy who is The One, he's someplace else having fun with someone who is not sitting around passively broadcasting their high standard contentedness. They met because she was actively interested and engaging, unlike her zombie sisters whose mantra of passive indifference sounds as the snoring of an impossible dream.

Farceur that was great. I loved it.

Most of my older guy friends 55-70 have given up. Most of these guys are well off, nice guys who don't drink too much, well educated, in shape ect. They are more interested in golf, trading stocks,going fishing and messing with their cars. If they need sex they go to a massage parlor or go on a two week trip to Thialand every couple of months.

Not my style but I see a lot of it in upper income single guys that I know. They think most women their age are too much a PITA. One friend of mine said what do I need a girlfriend for I am 55 and don't need someone to tell me how to load the dishwasher.
 onlyfootprints
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 229
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2010 1:43:01 PM
I don't think older men give up because they're getting older. We tend to give up when we see what there is to choose from in our age group. I did a little survey and out of 25 or so women that I've gotten unsolicited contacts from, roughly 90% were not at all attractive to me and the other 10% had some very unattractive baggage. Dating sites generally attract those in the bottom of the barrel. Seems like sifting through the garbage to me. After a few months here I've just given up.
 lipotufu
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 230
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:35:11 PM
i am 71. i had my knees wiped out in a highschool football game 55 years ago. that and my age have reduced my height significantly(i smilingly towered at 5' 6 3/4" until ten years ago). i had triple by-pass surgery 17 years ago. for 30 years i have lived on a small rural island with 900+ residents. i have had no shortage of love or physical intimacy including recently with women close to my age and 45 years younger. i have lived with 8 different women all of whom i loved and who loved me. so much of what our lives are, today or 50 years ago, is who we are. i have chosen to live a life based on family, simplicty, peace, poetry, prose writing, the arts, philosophy, intelligence, and community. i am poor financially and abundantly rich i so many of the ways that are possible in my life.

i have worked to balance the female and male in me. i've done pretty well. i made a major life change in '68 when i moved from the midwest to the pacific northwest. i haven't had one close male friend in all of those and a zillion female friends. i love pleasing a woman in many ways. i love it when we disappear into one another physically, mentally & spiritually.

god and i aren't on speaking terms. i want god and you to be who you both are if you'll let me be who i am. the woman i'm spending a lot of time with now is 9 years younger than me. she says that life is sex. she means that sexuality is a doorway into herself, and me, and that all of life is that way. if i walk along the island beaches i'm making love with the sea. if i sit in my living room drinking scotch and looking into the surrounding trees i'm making love. if i write a poem i'm making love. as i write this i'm making love.

our minds ..... in our u.s. culture ...... are traps, are rooms with few windows and doors. our culture imprisons us in our minds and our wallets. cleverness can be intelligent but it can't be beautiful. we can get out of these traps but we don't so our minds largely eliminate the easy beauty of intelligence, of physical pleasure, of spiritual arrousal.

i live among the coast salish people, native americans. with all of their problems with addiction they are, after 150 years of euro-christian dominance, way more beautiful than we are. i radiate when i spend an hour sitting with lynne and willie in their yard looking out across bellingham bay to the ice peaks of the cascades. that is making love.
 Annieooo
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 232
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2010 12:50:43 AM
Dark chocolate, coffee, tea, lemonade, etc. etc. Much bitterness has been resolved with just a little sweetness.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 233
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2010 11:14:32 AM

Have all the really older guys given up?


Speaking only for myself, because that is all I can speak of with certainty, I most certainly have not given up. What I HAVE done, recently, is to take care to try to strike up conversations only with women with a sparkle in their eyes. It has made a world of difference.

Repeating what I _hear_ from men past their early 50's, "Where ARE the women? What happened to them? Where did they go?" I tell 'em "Church groups and off-price boutiques." No auto shows, boat shows, motorcycle shows, softball parks, marina's, gen av airports, beaches, bookstores, writing classes, book signings, parks, free music concerts, McDonalds, coffee shops, waterfalls, road races, drag races, boat races, kite flying contests, Radio-Controlled model airplane fields, Home Depots, bicycle stores, bicycle paths, gyms, swimming pools, flea markets. Find 'em at "Church groups and off-price boutiques." Or, "expand the horizon" to include new friends. "If you're not with the women you love (from your prefered list), love the women (with a sparkle in their eyes) you're with."
 Ron429
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 240
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:33:30 AM
Yeah, I'm an older guy but my experience is that when women get into their 50's and beyond they lose their libido and/or interest in sex. Not in all cases of course, but the statment is generic in nature and this loss of interest and indifference with respect to sex really turns off a lot of guys. Evolution has wired the genders completely different and men do not lose such interest. Thus they tend to seek younger women that still have some sex drive left and this is quite natural and healthy for what man doesn't want a normal, healthy sex life? He expects it. So most of the time older women simply cannot meet the needs of an older gentleman and while this might be a secret with women it is very obvious to the males that try to establish relationships with them.
 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 242
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:51:10 AM
given up?....nope..............loseing hope..........yup.......

so us single older men are jerks that got worse?..........mebbe.........could it be that older women are picky and are getting worse????????

nope..i'm not the man i was at 25.....but then again..your not the same woman either......if you want me to fit into my football uniform....then you better dang well fit into your cheerleaders uniform..

time changes us all.....and us guys.......just like you ladies.....arent gonna make the same mistakes all over again........you dont want to date a man that plays golf every weekend?.........well.....i refuse to date a woman thats into horses.........why does that make me a jerk and makes you "someone who knows what she wants"?


when i was 20.......i met "the perfect woman".....for the next 25 yrs.....i firmly and totally believed that..........yep.there were probs.......but nothing is perfect..suddenly...an accident at work and a serious illness.....i'm alone and pennyless........guess i was a jerk for getting hurt and sick huh?

am i bitter?...maybe a lil bit..but not really.....

would i like to meet someone?....definately......

but in the same light.....i refuse to settle.....
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 243
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:05:12 AM
Opting out early and often at 41. So long and thanks for the fish.
Searching over seas only.
Nice to know that if I stayed in America, I would get to be disgruntled all the way into my 70s!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 244
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:08:07 AM

Yeah, I'm an older guy but my experience is that when women get into their 50's and beyond they lose their libido and/or interest in sex. Not in all cases of course, but the statment is generic in nature and this loss of interest and indifference with respect to sex really turns off a lot of guys. Evolution has wired the genders completely different and men do not lose such interest. Thus they tend to seek younger women that still have some sex drive left and this is quite natural and healthy for what man doesn't want a normal, healthy sex life? He expects it. So most of the time older women simply cannot meet the needs of an older gentleman and while this might be a secret with women it is very obvious to the males that try to establish relationships with them.

The view isn't that great from a lot of women's POV, either. Most of the contacts I've gotten - and not just on POF - are from those who are cougar bait, want a FWB or NSA, or someone who wants a buddy sitting beside them in his and hers rocking chairs to 'enjoy the rest of our golden years.' Then there are the ones who want someone to go to church and represent them every Sunday. And the ones whose favorite hobby is spoiling their grandchildren. Or the ones who want a traveling parnter - at her expense, of course. Most of the ones whose profiles I've looked at, no matter what they say they want, are looking for a slightly more mature Barbie - well, guess what? Time is no kinder to women than it is to those same men! I don't know what they see when they look in a mirror, but it sure isn't a Ken doll.

I'm 63, and I certainly haven't lost my libido, but just how often do you think any woman will listen to that 'men are visual, men are hard-wired' crap before she just don't want anything to do with anyone who spouts it? Women are visual too, but most have enough sense by our age to see beyond the facade to the character beneath. Some of us even had the sense to look beyond the surface facade when we were much, much younger. It's one thing to enjoy looking, it's another thing entirely to act upon it.
 LSBF
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 245
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/13/2010 3:31:05 PM
I am with you on this. I want someone who can take care of me, himself, or both. And my "take care of me" list is pretty short, really. I just want to have fun too, and it is hard to find - like relationships at every age, I guess! But good for you if young guys are what you're attracting - have fun with them!
 LSBF
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 246
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/13/2010 3:34:44 PM
I like Wayward's reply. Sometimes everyone is just looking in the wrong places. Pay attention to the people around you when you're doing something you enjoy. That's how to find a kindred spirit!
However, I am more likely to be looking at cars than at a church group, so, whoops!
 onlyfootprints
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 252
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Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/16/2010 1:13:58 PM
I have given up ....... looking. I haven't given up hope of finding someone to love but I will not actively search POF for that woman. If she finds me I'll be happy but looking at the sum total of results from online dating, I don't think that will ever happen. I get quite a few emails from women looking for the same thing as I am but for some reason my inbox is stuffed with offers from overly large unattractive women who get rather nasty when I politely say I'm flattered but not interested. Physical attraction is still the first step in building a relationship and those who say it's not at all important are just kidding themselves. Apparently fat women are physically attracted to me for some reason unknown to me. Perhaps I remind them of a steak or some favorite food and that's why I'm so attractive to the cellulite set. I don't know but I do know I won't settle for someone I find so unappealing.
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