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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 124
girl who wants to take it slow!Page 3 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

You find ONE, maybe TWO women in a 5 page thread that supports what you say and therefore, it's the be all and end all TRUTH and the other 5 pages of women (and many men) have no clue what they're talking about??!!!


Actually what I noticed is that most of the women say take it slow. Most of the guys say, bull. In both camps there are exceptions.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 126
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 7:39:35 AM

Seems like the men here are upset about the money they spent on someone who didn't stick around. I agree that you shouldn't do that...so don't.


Ok, ok, already.....

No, it's not just about the money. Sometimes it does cost a lot, sometimes it costs nothing but a lot of time.

My take is simply that women often say that they know within minutes whether or not they feel "chemistry" with a guy. Why should a guy hang around her for months in the hope that something will develop?

My experience, and it seems to be the same experience of many men here, is that this waiting game is a waste of time and energy. I think it's partly a way for women to sort through men and sometimes a way for women to hold out until she meets someone better.

Most of the women who've responded say wait. Most of the guys say leave. Obviously, there's a huge difference of experience....

 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 127
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 7:51:06 AM
^^^^OK, and the OP has known this girl less than a month. How impatient can someone be to think that within a month there should be a serious relationship going on? I think that's way too fast.

Personally I think that if men like the OP had better skills for reading body language and more common sense in the big picture, they could better navigate what to do based on what the woman they are dating does or says - but by no means is it uncommon for a woman in a couple weeks to not feel 100% that she wants to either sleep with OR date seriously some guy she's into.

What else she's doing outside of that situation frankly isn't anyone's business that early on. And of course I do agree with the "ok let's both keep dating until we both want to lock this down" - not because it'll jolt her into making up her mind, but because it's fair. However, it may be redundant and already going on so soon into things. My response would be "we're not dating other people already?"

If a woman's saying let's take it slow after 6 months, THAT's fishy. But two or three weeks? Do they know each other's last name yet?
 chatte
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 128
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girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 9:11:00 AM
^^^^Only1Day ~

I DO think it's possible and I'm sure there are many women who use it as a ploy or use it as (forgive me) a cop out to true communication.

What I am objecting to are those that have had such bad experiences that their views have become so skewed to the negative that they INSIST that ALL women who say "take it slowly" are evil b*tches who are just using them, screwing them over, taking advantage of them financially all the while having sex with someone else or out trolling for someone better. It's the generalization with little or no exception that I object to.

And it's the fact that these tainted, damaged people are giving this skewed advice to a 20 year old kid who's known this girl for only a few weeks. Basically just saying, hey, you're only 20 but just skip the next 20 years and hate women now.

Maybe at 20 if he has a positive experience instead, even if it doesn't work out, he'll bring a positive outlook into his next relationship. This as opposed to those that carry negative thoughts and vibes and their negative experiences become self fulfilling prophecies for their next relationships. Then they come on here and vilify women when it is THEY THEMSELVES that attract this.

Only1Day, I understand what you mean. I'm a very sensitive person and I have difficulty hurting people's feelings. That's part of why I don't do a heck of a lot of casual dating because the rejecting them part when I have to is just not comfortable to me. The only thing worse is leading them on, I just don't have the energy for that.
 THE full monty
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 132
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 12:27:43 PM
well, if you care for this women???you ,will respect her feelings and take it as slow as she wants .believe me , treat her right everything will work for u.dont , be like these other fools that treat women like shit
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 133
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 4:22:57 PM

And it's the fact that these tainted, damaged people are giving this skewed advice to a 20 year old kid who's known this girl for only a few weeks. Basically just saying, hey, you're only 20 but just skip the next 20 years and hate women now.


It's solid advice. You may not like it, but it's good advice. YOU have not dated women. Let her take it as slowly as she wants, but the OP should be going and dating other women because odds are she isn't interested enough in him.

Men should NEVER take dating advice from women. They should ALWAYS pay attention to their buddies who are good with women. In other words, guys should learn from their buddies who are players.

Sure, MAYBE the OP will be that rare guy who actually ends up with this woman who says she wants to take it slow. So what? Next time, it's unlikely that it will work out.

It's always a crapshoot. Smart, realistic behaviour is to put her on ice and go date other women. If she comes around at some time down the road, great! If not, so what? Nothing lost....

And, FYI, no one is hating women by saying that it's likely she's not interested. Being stupidly optimistic is a SURE way to become jaded and cynical, believe me. I used to be he biggest romantic ever. I actually believed in love between women and men at one time....


 flowerforce
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 134
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 5:13:49 PM
My my such a lot of fuss you people create with one and other. ( Men are this women are that.) When I date a man it is because I am interested in him as a person and want to know him better. I will not go out with him unless I am interested. I do not date for entertainment. If for some reason I become disinterested because his behavior is rude, disrespectful or because we have nothing in common I will let him know and stop seeing him before I date another man. When I date a man I will be sexually interested but not interested in having sex in a big hurry because I will want to know and care for him deeply before I bond that way. For me my sexuality is connected to my heart and spirit and I will not share that part of myself until I feel emotionally intimate with the man I am seeing. That takes time and a lot of conversation about values beliefs and compatibility. I will ask him out and expect to pay if I am doing the asking. If he asks me out he pays. It is that simple. I only date one man at a time I have no time to see more men and no interest. I have a job, friends, family and hobbies I enjoy. I also enjoy alone time. I am not going to drop all else to be with him no matter how interesting and sexy I believe him to be. So I may only see him once or twice in a week in the beginning and certainly will not be sexual with him for several months. I am in no hurry to jump into a relationship because I want to find the right man for me. The right man for me will also be committed to exploring a relationship and taking his time to do so otherwise we will not be compatible. The old fashioned word for it is courtship. There is no right or wrong way of doing relationship. If I want slow and he wants fast we are not on the same page and both of us need to move on. I have no interest in slamming men because they want to go at a faster pace. I will gently wave good-bye because he is not the "Mister Wonderful" for me.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 135
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 5:26:25 PM

You gave some good advice, but you should seriously try to take some responsibility.


Darling, sweetums.... you must be new here.

I ALWAYS take responsibility. I ABSOLUTELY, without reservation accept that I am and always have been the common denominator in all my fvcked up relationships.... I have never posted anything to the contrary....

... but that doesn't mean that the women I've been involved with didn't act in a certain way or conduct themselves in a less than honest, honourable or forthright manner.

I cam by my jaded and cynical outlook honestly. I'm also honest about it.

So..... neener, neener, neeeeeeeener.....



 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 137
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/21/2009 5:59:32 PM

So you're saying you didn't see it coming? You're saying they acted "in love"? There were no red flags? No "wishful thinking"?


Shit, you want the whole frickin' history? We may be here a while....

Sometimes I didn't see it coming. They always acted in love... sometimes at first, sometimes until the end. My ex never even stopped having regular sex with me until the day before she told me she had to go and be with the love of her life.

Red flags? Sure, but for the first dozen or so, I just thought I really should give them the benefit of the doubt. Duh.

Wishful thinking? Of course. I grew up in with two parents who loved each other. Even after my mom died, my dad still loves her. Like an idiot, I thought that's the sort of relationship *I* would find. Duh.

I wasn't ready for 'love' in the late 20th century or early 21st century.

I used to be the epitome of optimism and romantic, old school, chivalric honour and classical courteous conduct.

Duh....

 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 140
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:55:08 AM
The only trick to it is that you have to take it slow enough you're not pushy, but not so slow you lose interest or at least put out a perceived lack of interest.

Women do that to me all the time, they tell me "Look, I don't want to rush anything." I'm like "ok!" next thing I know they're dating someone else and they say to me something along the lines of "You weren't even interested anymore, so I found someone who took the time to really care about me." and I'm like "You're pace not mine, you lead not me, you're an idiot. Good thing I really like pizza, I'm going to go order one right now and pretend I know a better class of person."
 My Names Daryl
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 141
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girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 2:16:09 AM
The ironic thing is that both "sides" of this argument are right. The fact is that she MAY be sincere, and equally possible is that she is stringing him along, and to a lesser degree just being nice, and not wanting to hurt feelings with outright rejection of his affection. I will grant that if this were an issue with many of the Ladies who have voiced their opinions here then being Mr. "Nice Guy" MAY be an option. However, it's been my experience that Mr. Nice Guys aren't the guys women typically choose as lovers. A woman may bob and weave if for some reason they are hesitant, tentative, or spookey, but if they want you, or even think that they MIGHT want you, they NEVER push you away, or stand you off while they make up their mind. So I'd guess that it's more of a matter of how it's done. If she's really into it, and holding herself back, that's one thing, if she's pushing you away with it, well that's another. Either way, for as briefly as they've known one another (less than a month was it?), if she's even got to say something like that I'd say he's been being a little pushy, or even worse needy, and THAT'S what's really giving her pause. A point worth mentioning may be that no woman I have EVER spoken with has been altogether impressed with a Mr. Easy To Get who acts like a love sick puppy, and BUYS INTO being put on "stand by"
(not even when he's "a really nice guy"). And Ladies, though you may be loathe to admit it, there are many women who have absolutely no problem with taking full advantage of it when they do.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 142
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 2:42:35 AM
Why are the guys getting so bent out of shape about a girl wanting to take it slow? Really what on earth are they losing by taking it slow?

Sex? Is that all that matters is if they are getting sex or not? Is that the end game?

So if the girl says she wants to take it slow and you still get the sex, would you still be complaining?
 Dave90027
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 143
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History
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:02:43 AM
This is a classic case of her seeing more than one guy at the same time. She's basically telling you that you are her pal or buddy. Don't waste any of your time on her she sounds like a nutt job.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 144
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:19:55 AM

This is EXACTLY why males need to go by a new thought or intuition: "We go DUTCH or WE (you AND I ) don't go at all!

Maybe you should. No one told you to actually wine and dine these women. You all make your beds on that one. Again, if this is about the monety - don't spend a lot of money. Problem solved.

Really. And what would you suggest a guy to do if SHE is LYING to HIM and HE wants to believe what SHE is telling HIM??? Yeah, got it!

Stop wishful thinking, and stop "wanting to believe" stuff. As I said in the quote you responded to, use your common sense and read her body language. Be realistic. You answered your own question...lol

Unless they are many of the ones I have tried to communicate with here on POF. And they have told me within a few minutes time of meeting the male THEY KNOW if he is FOR THEM or not.

Yeah I am one of those women. Doesn't mean I want to marry a guy or sleep with him in 20 minutes of meeting him. What does one thing have to do with the other?

Sex? Is that all that matters is if they are getting sex or not? Is that the end game?

Don't forget the money, Lela....they want the sex immediately, and they don't want to spend any money. Seems to be the main problem in this thread.
 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 145
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:53:20 AM

she said to me that she wants to take it slow... ...i really like this girl and just wandering how could i turn this into a relationship?


Are you serious? How about by respecting her wishes and taking it slow?...Not rocket science here!
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 148
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:21:08 AM

Why are the guys getting so bent out of shape about a girl wanting to take it slow? Really what on earth are they losing by taking it slow?


Why are women SO bent on taking it slow? It's not about losing anything. It's about why something natural is being avoided.

You eat when you want to eat. You go shopping when you want to shop. You have sex when you want to have sex. But if so, then it follows "taking it slow" is another way of saying, "I don't really know what I want" or "I don't really want to have sex with you".

People who have the hots for each other don't take things slow. It's quite the opposite. They want to rip each others close off as soon as possible and do it like the animals on the discovery channel. Also, the phrase, "I want you now" is often spoken - whispered in the ear. Crotch touching and certain type of rubbing also occur. Taking things slow is and should be a BIG RED FLAG. Any guy who doesn't get this is probably clueless and deserves the blue balls.



Sex? Is that all that matters is if they are getting sex or not? Is that the end game?


No, but sex is pretty good indication of the presence of the "I want you" feeling. So when a woman "takes it slow" a guys can almost be sure the "I want you" feeling isn't there or if it is, it isn't intensive enough for anything worth pursuing.

But let me get this straight... women want to have a relationship but not sex? Most women know within 5 minutes if they are going to have sex with a guy. But if so, what does that mean for the ones who want to take it slow?



So if the girl says she wants to take it slow and you still get the sex, would you still be complaining?


It's not complaining. It's pointing out something unusual, something unnatural. And no, I wouldn't be complaining as I will just move on.

Normal people who want to "take it slow" don't say they want to "take it slow" and leave it at that. They explain themselves and usually give a reason why they want to "proceed in a certain way" which is quite different than "take it slow". Quite often "take it slow" also means, "We are going to do things my way".

Not matter how a woman spins it, "take it slow" equals hesitation, uncertainty, lack of the "I want you" feeling, and no attraction. Either that or it's a power play.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 149
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 8:58:27 AM
^^^OK....so next time I see a hot guy on the street, I'll just jump him right there and then. After all, to know his name, if he's single, or if he's got a disease is just plain "unnatural". God forbid a woman actually find out more about a guy before she jumps in the sack. Ha.

Funny thing is, that men tend to frown on women who go this fast when they find out about it from her past, but I guess it's ok as long as they're the ones reaping the rewards.

Again, this guy has been dating this girl two or three weeks, not months - should she have slept with him within 24 hours? Would he be here posting threads about not knowing where she's been since it wasn't that hard to get in her pants?

Unbelievable.

I say as long as you're not spending too much money on her, you should be more than fine with the situation.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 152
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 10:28:36 AM
Really? And so WHY DID these women accept the invitation for a date? Why? Was it because they EXPECTED to be wined and dined? Damn straight! Again, as I stated earlier, except for a VERY few of females I have known, whether in "real life" dating OR on POF and the net, they ALL EXPECT to be wined and dined. And they expect to give nothing in return; NOTHING. Unless to buy a male a cup of coffee. WTH???

Are you 5?? So don't date women that "demand" stuff from you. If they told you to jump off a bridge, would you?

Women are making the "beds" (as you termed it).

No, you are. Not all women demand this. Maybe the ones you like do, and you figure that's that - but not all do. Pick better women.

Don't spend a lot of money? Really? Then even IF a male does happen to get a date, it is a slim to none chance of it happening. Otherwise, all males (the paint brush effect) are termed and stamped by women as being cheapskates, chincey, a cheap dater, a tightwad, UNgenerous, selfish, and the like. Women tell each other to not date "him" because he will not spend a lot of MONEY on you. NOT problem solved; problem simply continues on and on!

What decade do you live in? NOT ALL WOMEN expect men to pay for everything.

And so..... many more males are taking your advice each and every day: DON"T BELIEVE anything a woman tells them. Be realistic, wait and see if that what women tells them actually ever happens and becomes a reality!

Yes....that would be better than writing her off based on something you think she's doing, as many men in this thread are doing based on one woman they dated in their past. Treat each person differently - not all have the same agenda. Again.

EVERYTHING! And you just answered YOUR own question. Sooooo many women have told me they sleep with them, (have a relationship) with them and they ARE A COUPLE within a very short time; definitely within a FEW DAYS. It's just the way it is, whether you like it or not!

Wow, I have no idea where you live, but a lot of women outside your area actually like information before we sleep with a guy we have interest in. The norm is not to sleep with strangers - do they also tell you they thought they knew the guy and it all went south because they didn't use their heads?

uuuhh HUH! I knew the real truth would come out of you eventually. As you stated so poignantly and prominently in many of your past posts on several threads when this very issue would come up, that you simply would ALWAYS BANK YOUR MONEY! Let the male spend all of his money on ME (YOU) and on each and every date. What a great strategy! So then it really IS all about the MONEY with YOU and many women, isn't it??? Seems to be the main problem with dating females these days.

The real truth is that you guys are worried about money you keep spending with no guns to your heads. I bank the money I MAKE. I COULD CARE LESS about someone else's - and since you are trying to nail me on wanting money from anyone where I'd rather kill myself before I expected it (except from my job, duh) then that tells me who you are. Had to change your SN and take a time out, did ya? Didn't take you long to go on the same rant.

If anything, I have been so fiercely independent my whole life that I'd rather live in a box than have anyone pay for anything I do. Where in my posts are you getting this crap? If men spend money on women who expect it - then THEY MAKE THEIR OWN BEDS when they are out money.

If you want to date so badly that you take women up on their demands and dole out money to get their attention - that's your problem. DON'T SPEND IT - if that keeps you single, then stay single in protest or move to where women have jobs. Period.
 Elizabeth023
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 156
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 3:47:23 PM
Women see different men sometimes, the same way men see different women.. If people are casually dating that is what they do..

Myself, I do not want to rush dating anyone, I'll become friends with them, if and only if we are compatible enough, that makes sense, and take it from there.. If we are meant to be just friends, then that is what we will remain.. If it is meant to be more, then it may progress..

Just go at the rate that you are comfortable with in meeting people and getting to know them..
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 157
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:01:20 PM

Don't forget the money, Lela....they want the sex immediately, and they don't want to spend any money. Seems to be the main problem in this thread.


Are you serious? Spending money on a girl who likes a man already is hit or miss, it's usually cash you'll never see again. Throw into the mix that they may or may not be interested and why should I drop a dime on her? Sure I'll go 50/50 but nobody is entitled to money, particularly not the ones that aren't even going to commit to an explanation of what "taking it slow" means to them. I know you said nobody is telling anyone to spend money on these women, but then basically turn around in the same post with a coment that sounds as if it's a problem than men don't want to drop any money.


Stop wishful thinking, and stop "wanting to believe" stuff. As I said in the quote you responded to, use your common sense and read her body language. Be realistic. You answered your own question...lol


Look a woman's body language means 2 things, jack and sh*t. I've had girls that seem as interested at someone could seem, even other women thought they were lookin for a date. Then these women flaked who were "definately interested" flaked on simple get togethers.

Say what you will about men and sex, but whether or not she's showing up to my door naked within 2-3 dates is irrelevant if she can't show up to play tennis after she suggests it on a nice summer day.

Maybe it's personal experience talking but "Taking it slow" to me almost always translates into "I'm going to step back, you're going to impress me but you can't expect anything back, you'll be lucky if I even remember what your name is."

God I'm too young to be this jaded lol
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 158
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:16:59 PM

What do you consider wining and dining? If went out with a guy and he wanted me to pay for half, I'd never see him again. The first two dates should be paid for by him.


This is why I'd also tell guys to NEVER take a woman out for dinner, especially a first, second or third date. If I'd seen her naked and rubbed body parts with her, I'd be happy to take her out sometime....

.... once within the first 6 months, I'd say oughta be good.......

Another part of this is that whole damned if you do, damned if you don't thing that's really frustrating and confusing.

I think something that the women here are missing too, is that 2-3 weeks ISN'T much time, and most guys aren't going to sweat a few weeks of getting to know someone, but MANY of us have heard the repeated "I want to take it slow" message into months after we've made first contact. THEN, we've been kicked to the curb, which is why many of us are likely to bail the minute we hear it.

..... and, yeah, yeah, not all women are the same, BLAH, BLAH, BLAUGH!!!!!!

If women aren't all the same, there are one fvck of a lot of you out there saying the same things to a lot of guys.....

 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 159
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:27:37 PM

If women aren't all the same, there are one fvck of a lot of you out there saying the same things to a lot of guys.....


Man I heard that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 161
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:21:50 PM

Are you serious? Spending money on a girl who likes a man already is hit or miss, it's usually cash you'll never see again. Throw into the mix that they may or may not be interested and why should I drop a dime on her? Sure I'll go 50/50 but nobody is entitled to money, particularly not the ones that aren't even going to commit to an explanation of what "taking it slow" means to them. I know you said nobody is telling anyone to spend money on these women, but then basically turn around in the same post with a coment that sounds as if it's a problem than men don't want to drop any money.

It wasn't serious, it was sarcasm. I feel that this thread is mostly about men who spend too much money on women they don't know - maybe to get laid, maybe to impress - but in any event, we're just an audience to this. Men can only save themselves. Sex might be secondary, we all know that feelings and actual attachment can't be the problem...lol.

Don't worry, I am so against the would be obligation that comes with a guy paying for anything that I kneejerk on it. If I can't pay for it myself, I'd rather stay home and skip the date completely. I just don't need the possible hassle. If a guy wants to armwrestle me for the check, then fine - he wins, but I really don't like it.

I once had a waitress bring a new check to my table so that my order was separate during a lunch meet...

Look a woman's body language means 2 things, jack and sh*t. I've had girls that seem as interested at someone could seem, even other women thought they were lookin for a date. Then these women flaked who were "definately interested" flaked on simple get togethers.

So they were affectionate? Calling and wanting to spend time with you? Trying to make plans? Interested genuinely in you, your life, your story? Most people can smile and play the game, but if they don't have real interest, you can sense it - or what they say contradicts what they do.

Say what you will about men and sex, but whether or not she's showing up to my door naked within 2-3 dates is irrelevant if she can't show up to play tennis after she suggests it on a nice summer day.

Suggests it or plans it? Just curious. I've said "we should do that" - fully intending to set it up and then have a crazy life where I can't play as much as I want to, doesn't mean I am not interested.

Maybe it's personal experience talking but "Taking it slow" to me almost always translates into "I'm going to step back, you're going to impress me but you can't expect anything back, you'll be lucky if I even remember what your name is."

It just may be personal. I can see how you'd want to keep your guard up when you hear it, and even suggest dating others until she feels more at ease about what you both are doing - but to just assume you're doomed is - well, being jaded. Good call.
 Elizabeth023
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 164
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:32:36 PM
If people didn't want to rush into dating so fast or having sex with someone they don't even though that well, they wouldn't think that they were being made a fool of, or played or being used..

Take one step at a time.. get to know the person first, becomes friends, make sure you are even compatible with this other person, instead of getting let down on a date, before a friendship has even started..

Don't rush into dating, slow down, find out first if you will even like this person, to go to the next level, and I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about actually showing respect for another person..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 165
girl who wants to take it slow!
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:52:22 PM

Like people have said, you should see signs if you pay attention. If she never calls, expects you there at her beckon call, or seems disinterested in your life, run as fast as you can; she's playing 'ya. If she genuinely seems interested, asks how your day went, and invites you out on occasion, maybe she is actually a good person, and only wants to get to know you as a person before she hops in bed with you. If that's the case I'd say you have someone who isn't willing to give themselves to anyone.

People are too quick to jump into relationships without knowing someone. Becoming friends BEFORE lovers is always a good start to any lasting relationship. Give the girl time, watch for signs, become friends with the woman, and have fun in the process.

Ahhhh....common sense. How refreshing!
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