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 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 51
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Whereas it is true that all feelings are ok and they often - if we're listening - tell us much we need to know in order to grow. Feelings are also transitory... they rise up and we let them go. Becoming bitter suggests one is stuck in a feeling. Someone earlier said it requires energy to stay there, and that I certainly agree with. IMO, it is more productive for your growth to recognize you are bitter and work on forgiveness and healing of the event you are stuck on... so you can move on.

Being stuck doesn't allow you to feel everything and experience everything freely. So, yeah, we are sometimes in that place, but I wouldn't advocate to stay there... that strikes me as arguing for ones limitations.

Similarly, there is a difference between being skeptical and being cynical. The skeptic is cautious and watches for evidence of which way something is... a dash of skepticism can enhance critical thought. The cynic already knows how it is going to be and how it will turn out ~ badly.
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 52
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:00:42 AM
I am very jaded I am well aware all men seek sex and only sex...it's called being intelligent. our job is to not give them sex ,,make them squirmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm heheheheheh !!!!
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 53
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:01:03 AM
^^^^ That came from a 54-year old? It's enough to turn my idealism into cynicism.
I think the root of many of complaints women have of men on POF stems from control issues...as in losing p*ssy-power control over men. At this point all you have remaining in your quivver is shaming language and ideological rhetoric.
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 56
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 11:22:04 AM
I am a very healthy 54 year old lady who looks 41...I have lived life long enough to be honest and to the point...To be quite honest if a man felt things with his brain alittle more instead of his defined sexual organ he might just obtain sex .
Sincerely-----------Jeanne aka Dollface long ago had the site Daring Dollface...U see I do know of what I speak !
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 58
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 11:43:11 AM
10of6 honey, you are 28 yrs old and have it all figured out ay? Come back once you've had a life or 2 and we'll talk, k?



I think the root of many of complaints women have of men on POF stems from control issues...as in losing p*ssy-power control over men. At this point all you have remaining in your quivver is shaming language and ideological rhetoric.


If it was all so simple, pat and definable..... none of us would be here now would we? Everyone should walk a mile in someone elses shoes.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 59
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 11:48:21 AM
I am a reasonably healthy 42 year old man that looks 41 1/2 , and I think a lot of people confuse jaded with being experienced, but there are definitely jaded people out there.

A lot of people limit themselves by assuming sweeping negative generalizations of the opposite sex, as well.


I think the root of many of complaints women have of men on POF stems from control issues...as in losing p*ssy-power control over men. At this point all you have remaining in your quivver is shaming language and ideological rhetoric.


There is a fair amount of that that goes on. The more experienced a man becomes, the less control can be asserted over him. This upsets the order of things, and many women need time to adapt to it. Some never do. A world where the vagina isn't the trump card to end all trump cards is just too foreign to them.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 63
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/17/2009 1:37:14 PM

10of6 honey, you are 28 yrs old and have it all figured out ay? Come back once you've had a life or 2 and we'll talk, k?
Because I speak my mind and am a quick study and keen observer, I believe your condescending, patronizing and cavalier comment is baseless.

I've learned there is also such a thing as an older-generation bias and prejudice, resulting in dismissiveness and their own form of arrogance. Or is this just me on jaded?
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 64
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 5:30:41 AM
Hey Kid..read and Learn:

THE BOX WITHIN 1 There is a virtual world that exists inside the computer where lives are affected and shaped on a daily basis. That world has it's own definition and science of working elements. The people who pay rent to live in this world are from all walks of life and over time this virtual world becomes very real. Their daily communication with each other constitutes the central element of their lives. Instead of watching television, these individuals actively take part in their own daily melodrama of life without ever leaving the sanctity of their homes. All the elements of a successful movie take place within this box they have come to call home. Love affairs, divorces, deaths, marriages, murders, and basically all aspects of life take place or are triggered from within the realm of this virtual existence. It is easy to escape into this world. Instantly with a push of a button and a click of a mouse you are in the company of a mass of other people. You can easily slip into a world where the communication is often intense and very overwhelming. There is laughter, tears and sighs of relief. This new means of communication may free you or may keep you prisoner within your own self. Once caught up in this world it becomes extremely difficult to let it go. On a daily basis people share their hopes, desires and experiences. The Box provides those otherwise incapable of communicating the ability to express themselves. Individuals who are handicapped, deaf, and/or physically impaired experience life in a manner that they never expected. They talk to and relate to other individuals in a manners independent of their personal handicaps. This aspect of THE BOX opens up the lives of many and lets them achieve a sense of expansiveness and growth in their lives. This BOX WITHIN can be magic and a tool for external growth or it can also be a binding knot that can stifle your inner growth if used in the incorrect manner. Either way This Box Within is here to say and society as a whole needs to respect and admire it................ Box Within 1 written by me 12 years ago Box Within 2 witten 2005 THE BOX WITHIN 2 Over the span of twenty years the internet has expanded and evolved in vividly different ways. A large and growing essence has digressed into a sea of endless souls wasting extensive time conversing about basically nothing at all. Day after day individuals sit in front of their computers swept into a world of fantasy and fog. The computer has become their world and their ability to function in the real world diminishes over time. People become engrossed in the daily soap opera of personalities of people who they will never meet and who may not be real. It provides an environment filled with falsehoods, claims, and misrepresentations of who people really are, creating a virtual sense of their own reality. The addiction of the chat room overtakes their real life and becomes centrally important to them. In addition to the addiction of the daily chat, other forms of addiction become mixed into the equation. Many people who reside in the chat room world commingle this addiction with other addictions such as the use of drugs and alcohol. Now for the first time they can react, speak out, and misbehave at will without being accountable for their actions. The society of this chat community becomes a bonding experience that validates their anonymous behavior because so many others are participating. The entire experience is unhealthy both mentally and physically yet a network makes money for the Internet Service Provider from this emotional and oft times physical demise of it's users. The only way the person taking part in this daily monopoly sees the extent of damage being done is that they have to force themselves to actually detoxify from the elements that compose it. Total detoxification from the excess wasting of time and excess abuse of body and mind parallels the withdrawal associated with substance abuse. This addictive behavior of online activity becomes a reality and it has turned many people who could be valid, socially happy indivuals into weakened and diminished people afraid to leave the walls of their home. They basically give up on life itself for the BOX WITHIN that has now turned into their world. The Box controls them and they are not even aware of it. They allow the BOX to stunt their emotional and physical growth. Anything done in excess usually proves to be unhealthy and computer addiction is just that. It takes a lot of work to get away from that comfortable, anonymous world of the net. One has to do it emotionally and physically. One has to acknowledge that this addiction is real and it's being used as a crutch. Crossing the bridge of accepting that is half the battle; the next is to act on it. It's important to realize that these chat people are not your friends. The friend you have is you and your ability to control your life and not allow the BOX WITHIN to control you. The internet has moved into an era of creative growth but there is a clear downside to it's communication level that hinges on the negative and the largely unhealthy aspects of it’s absorption of the individual. We have to remember that the internet was created as a tool to grow and learn as well as communicate. It's effect depends on those who use it or choose to misuse it. I feel that in the past twenty years that monetary gain has overshadowed the importance of the emotional health of human beings. We need to step back and look at what is exactly taking place for ultimately we must all share responsibility for our own growth that of society. It is up to each of us to use technology to enhance humanity and it's our responsibility to be aware of its misuse. Written By- Jeanne St.Onge THE BOX WITHIN 3 JUNE-2008 This is the third segment of this lengthy article. We find ourselves now on the internet with an entire story unfolding. Real life has regressed to the existence of being online. From dating sites, to porn, to chat rooms the social aspect of this communication gets even more interesting every day. I can discuss each sector that I have mentioned. Dating sites- Human beings no longer have to meet each other the traditional way . Dating site are used in two distinct manners. In the first instance, the ethical searchers for love use it as a proper tool while in the second instance serial daters use it basically as a human supermarket. They simply find a potential partner to feed their physical and emotional needs and hold onto them as long as they are of use. When their usefulness expires they simply enter back into the dating site and find a new victim. There are those who simply use it for physical reasons alone. They meet multiple women each week for sexual reasons . These people have sex with multiple people not caring about the health risks or emotional damage being done. Porn Sites-Our society has taken sexuality to another level online and it has moved into a very negative aspect. Porn sites are breaking up the family unit and the backbone of the society. The act of love and caring has digressed to a sea of lost souls seeking sexual relief. Humanity has taken the back seat to physical needs. There was a time when the largest sex organ in the body was the brain. Somehow it's left the brain and settled itself into the abyss of physical insanity. They endanger the young who are prey for abusers and they rip apart the true beauty of love and it's perfect design. This issue has to be addressed for the sustenance and growth of the family and its structure which is the glue that keeps us grounded. Healthy sexual love does not have to be degrading or demeaning. Chat Rooms-This element of the Net has many forms. The healthy communication of individuals is an asset when the content is positive, used as an educational tool and a support system. The negative aspect is when the communication is used to hurt or emotionally injure another human being. People are using it as an emotional punching bag and a release of their own frustrations. Misdirected anger is passed out in a hateful form because that person cannot deal with his or her own problems in a healthy manner and plays out in the power struggle, the formation of groups and cliques. Perhaps throughout your life society passed you by, ignored your presence and now you have an arena to verbally fight back. Anger finds an empty pool and fills at the expense of another human being. Educated human beings are on this island called the internet and they lower themselves to a herd of animals out for the daily kill to survive. The perfect example would be the book " Lord of the Flies" written by William Golding. The island being the Internet with it's set of characters stranded on it and what they turn into over time due to the lack of healthy human contact. This aspect can tear apart our society without warning. Pressure to belong and to be accepted takes the place of one's own integrity and self worth. The human mind is controlled by false friendships that ultimately lower self-esteem. The strong rule the weak and the weak are controlled. Intelligent, educated, worthy human beings are turned into emotional zombies and no physical drug has even entered their system. This needs to be identified and documented so that we can address the problem and start the healing process that so desperately needs to take place. Written by- Jeanne M. St.Onge
 purgatoristar78
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 65
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:31:26 AM
To begin there is a big difference between being jaded and just having a sense of bitterness due to a previous relationship. Jaded as defined by Webster is to be made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit. Where as bitterness is expressive of sever pain, grief or regret. So anyone who has ever had thier heart broken is going to be bitter at some point due to the fact that they were hurt but in time they will be alleviated of the pain. When someone has been jaded they feel that they have been hurt to the point that any man/woman is just a waste of time, they would rather find happiness in solitude then attempt to be with someone and risk the pain again. Their emotion receptors basically shut down and the healing process sometimes never begins....these are the people who use others for sex fearing to ever jump into a relationship because they either can not feel or do not wish to feel the pings of which love will give. Alot of jaded people will actually turn to people of the same sex for companionship because they feel that the opposite sex is no longer worth thier time or expense.
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 66
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 6:56:59 AM

these are the people who use others for sex fearing to ever jump into a relationship because they either can not feel or do not wish to feel the pings of which love will give.
Then I guess it's the "uber-jaded" who don't even want to participate in sex because of the possibility of a messy emotional and unnecessary-responsibility aftermath?
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 68
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:42:09 AM
Let me guess the Kid? Couch #13 waiting KID!
 10of6
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 70
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 1:26:14 PM
As far as the ad hominems, I only have this to say. It's from former Air Force general and former CEO of Martin-Marietta (a homey!) Norman Augustine: "If you're receiving flak, you're probably on target."
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 71
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/18/2009 2:10:23 PM
You know you are on the net when people make up a life for themselves. Now my Husband ,Former Marine corps 16 years.........2 tours Nam would love to question you...My sister who lwet USAF as an E9 would love to question you...and my father God rest his soul who earned the Bronze STAR in the US ARMY is looking down at you with great pity.............Anyway we should respect each other's opinions here and at least listen....
myself I have seen too much...I have a low opinion of men sexually becuase they think with thier organs not thier brains...If they were gentlemen they might actually get some YA YA....until then Mary Palmer will suffice for them..............
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 76
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:08:47 PM
bump bump LOL....not only are you witty but you have proper diction........
I am impressed! Jeanne in a good mood...oh by the way I do not drink....
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 78
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:13:52 PM

I am a very healthy 54 year old lady who looks 41...




HEY! Who started this thread without letting El Capitano know?

I may be the Captain of my pirate ship, but I'm the Admiral of Battle-Fleet Jaded and Cynical.

Darling, being Queen Cougar and believing the boys who succumb to your advances telling you that you only look 41, doesn't mean much. Ask them how old you look AFTER they've stopped sharing your bed.

You look at least 45 and a half to me. I'm being conservative at the moment. Please send pictures of you naked and I'll make an impatial judgement. My guess is that, naked, you look exactly your age.

As for the OP:

I think there is a progression involved. It may be like the Spectrum of Cynicism.

At one end, as we fall in love our first time, there's a purity and beautiful innocence to our feelings for another. At the other end is jadeness and complete cynicism.

The first time you get kicked in the nuts (or other genitalia), you are still somewhat optimistic. That optimism may even last past the first few kicks in the goolies, but there is definitely a guardedness to each subsequent 'love'.

From personal experience, about the 12th time you've felt love and been kicked in the goolies is about what it takes to reach the end of the spectrum that's farthest from the good end.

Individual results/experiences may vary.....

 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 82
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 10:33:13 PM
I had some ass tell me I was jaded because I expect any man I'm in a relationship with to be able to support me.

I think that's a reasonable request especially since my needs are simple, I like to eat, I enjoy being in from the cold and rain, I prefer being clothed to being naked when I go out in public....shoes are nice too.

So that is his definition of jaded. Like you said, there is the ying and the yang, you can't know how great something or someone is until you've experienced the bad ones, the losers.

Maybe like the prophet who wrote Ecclesiastes, we take the bitter with the sweet and the bitter makes the sweet so, so much sweeter.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 84
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/19/2009 10:41:44 PM
Lol....right? My granny used to bake sour kraut chocolate cake....it was good.

Anyways, I'm takin my jaded little body to my jaded little bed and dream nice green jaded dreams....you know jade is a lucky stone right?

Nite all.
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 85
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:52:47 AM
hi levis-------------You are much too handsome to be so rude! Now bend over it's spank time you bad boy heheheheh!
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 86
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/20/2009 7:38:39 AM
SeventhOne....lol....you so funny, you make me laugh...

Whatever! It's the way I feel and I'm not changing. Seriously. Deep pockets, deep mind, deep emotions, deep loyalty, deep protectiveness.....

I like deep men. Then, when I meet one and he is all that, he has my talents, my skills, my pocketbook, my trust, my devotion, my nurturing, my all and there's a lot.

Only the strong need apply.
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 91
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/20/2009 4:38:43 PM
I like tall ,built ,handsome men! He has to have a good heart and a strong spirit...The idea is to be able to communicate on every level!
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 93
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/21/2009 5:40:40 AM
Levi:

I know, right? But what is so bad about looking for an "employer". That's not to say I don't have feelings, geeze, Cupid screams and flies off, arrows secured when he sees me coming...lol.

Isn't that what it winds up being anyway? These days it seems the modus operendi is: meet someone, the chemistry is there, we like them, respect them, have the hots for them, bed them and then we either decide to continue or dump them or become "friends" with them and repeat the same process all over again until we either contract an incurable venereal disease or wind up marrying them.

Why not just be honest. Why not just put it out there and stop playing games? I can support myself but it is a struggle every day, each and every week and month that goes by. I'm a hard worker, dedicated and loyal. I'm fiercely proud and independent but why not hope for a man who would love and respect me enough to want to provide for me?

Holy shit! A guy buys a horse and provides a barn for it, feed for it, medical care for it, rides it once in a while...(lol), brushes its coat, buys tack for it....your car....do you drive it, put oil in it? Get the oil changed? Get it a tune-up, put gas in it?

Not that women are possessions, but two people in love and dedicated to each other, need to know their roles in the heirchy of life. They are equals but the man is the head of the household. IF a woman can't follow the man, don't hook up with him in the first place. A woman can't follow a parked car, the man has to be going somewhere that they both agree on.

I'm benevolent, loving and hardworking not to mention not hard to look at and (humble)...lol

So, if it sounds like a business proposition, sorry......just practical.
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 94
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/21/2009 9:04:03 AM
Well Xeno...
Either way, considering how easy it is for women, I raise concerns for many who appear on this site for a long period of time. They are obviously dysfunctional and are at fault. If their expectations were functional, they wouldn’t remain unsatisfied months or years down the track


Too funny... you really believe this don't you.

Well, this below average girl next door as you called her has been on here a shorter period of time than you... and has realistic expectations. As for unsatisfied... honey, having a man around has nothing to do with the quality of life I have. My life is great. I own my own home, have my own career, have great friends, have great men to date and enjoy many hobbies...

Anyone with half a brain knows that true happiness comes from within, not from having a partner.....
 kasandroid
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 95
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/21/2009 11:30:42 AM
"Life's mysteries seem so faded"

It is my own personal belief that being jaded is the end result of the brain rewiring itself, mainly if one has suffered from way too many traumatic experiences in life that does not equate to dating or the gender war often seen on these forums. That's just pansy stuff ya know. So I agree with Niflheim there.

"Little out of touch, a little insane, JUST EASIER THEN DEALING WITH THE PAIN".

Oh and as for the baggage remark, it's not how much baggage one person has, but how they move on from that baggage. Yeah baggage can make a person STRONGER then the HAPPY PAPPY people who are so quick to judge those they don't understand.
Wow some people have had some ROSY lives to say such things that GENERALIZE all jaded people.
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