Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 134
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Cortisol factories.

Anger. Frustration.

Serf fulfilling prophesies.

These things create a defense mechanism in the body that lowers the metabolism, makes you want to eat more, and retains energy as fat.

Happiness, not give a fvck, forgive, accept, welcome, endorphin factory, growth hormones.

It lowers your blood pressure, gives you bigger, harder hard ons. It repairs the body from physical exertion, it relaxes the mind and allows you do reach deeper sleep. Mix with exercise, stretch, yoga, meditation.

Then instead of being Jaded you will become pliant and accepting like a child. Happy and simple like the Dalai Lama.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 135
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/3/2013 9:54:03 AM
There is nothing wrong of being jaded, it is like walking in a pot hole on the street not paying attention where she is stepping. If she broke her ankle it is not the fault of the street pot hole ,it is hers.

takeachillpill or KISS MY ASS, every day we learn a lesson in life . We don't need to take a chill pill or kiss asses to get by and live happy and contented .......... just mt 2 cents
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 136
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/3/2013 11:30:38 AM
I think being jaded has it's place in the emotional spectrum and its useful on the short term.
I think the real problem is when people make it a "goto" emotion or response.

When people rely on automatic reactions no good can come of it.

Jaded is a way of realizing that maybe you are a little burnt out or using the wrong approach.
Jaded? Sure, be jaded for a little bit, just dont forget to come back to yourself.

Nothing wrong with a LITTLE rest. :)
 you_needme
Joined: 6/30/2013
Msg: 137
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/3/2013 4:50:02 PM

What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?

Being jaded denotes living off of preconceived notions and stereotypes you've built through your own chosen dating/romantic experience.
e.g. "This guy at work asked me out. He wants to date me. All the guys online that asked to meet and date me just wanted to have sex with me. Therefore this guy at work must just want to have sex with me. I hate men. They just want to have sex with me." Subsequently leading to her "getting back" at him for a perceived slight. All of this taking place on a mostly subconscious level.

The same thing could be asked
"What's wrong with being racist?"
"What's wrong with being misogynistic/misandrist/misanthropic ?"

Being jaded leads to subsequent poor treatment of others for perceived slights or traits that don't really exist.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 138
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/10/2013 6:48:58 PM

What's so wrong with being jaded?

There's a difference between feeling bitter toward an isolated situation or person for a while VS being a jaded person. Big difference. Know the difference. :)
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 139
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/10/2013 6:57:16 PM
There is healthy wisdom learned and assumption of universal guilt.

You CAN learn from your mistakes; but when what you learn is to universally paint every single individual based on the crimes or perceptions of crimes of a few, then you haven't really learned much of anything.

Be smart. Be observant. Don't be naive. But don't assume guilt until innocence is proven; because no one can ever prove themselves innocent. It is a no win proposition. For both parties.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 140
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/15/2013 5:18:07 AM
What's wrong with being jaded ? Big time WRONG because you are not using your commonsense on how to run your life
and you are being beat by life.............

edit : the same message of #168
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 141
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/15/2013 9:08:53 AM
Franklin's Rule : Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.
Franklin's Observation Corollary : He that lives upon Hope dies farting.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 142
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/15/2013 9:43:42 AM
cowgirl, I am always hoping to win the poker slot machine and win the love of a man who is rich and handsome.....
and I am hoping one of these days it will come true.
I don't think my fart comes from my mind but from my windy rotten stomach from eating RICE AND BEANS, breakfast, tea time, lunch and dinner.
I don't know about Franklin rules but I have to have faith.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 143
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/15/2013 9:52:19 AM

I think we all need to taste a little bitter to appreciate what's sweet.
You just can't stay that way forever. But a good bit of bitter never hurt anyone.
I think we learn from it just like any other emotion.
I've had some unsuccessful relationships and I needed to be a bit bitter for a bit.
I got over it with time
and move on...don't paint everyone in that "gender" with the same brush because of it.
I like this from a previous poster...exactly how I feel.
Confident-Realist wrote...

There's a difference between feeling bitter toward an isolated situation or person for a while VS being a jaded person. Big difference

That's the ticket!
 Mrjohnson0827
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 144
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/18/2013 5:02:45 PM
Nothing, as long as you don't bring it to the able with someone else.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 145
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/19/2013 11:55:09 PM
Re Mr Johnson's post above:


I'd love to hear people's comments on this one:

Last night I was chatting to a 49-year-old guy online (another site, with a chat facility) and the conversation went like this..

He: Are you divorced?
Me: No, single.
He: Cos I don't date divorced women.
Me: (perplexed) Why's that?
He: They are bitter, you know, been hurt and all that.
Me: LOL - most people of our age have been hurt - haven't you?
He: Yeah, loads of times, and that is why I don't want a woman who's been spoiled, and is cynical about men. I want one who is still sweet and nice.
Me: You've been hurt lots of times, but you don't want a woman who has had the same experiences as you? I find that a bit illogical, TBH.
He: You sound cynical, just like the rest. Bye...

And he disconnected!
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 146
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/20/2013 4:52:58 AM
^^^he wasn't asking you to question his wants.... he was asking you to appease them.

you didn't hear what he was really asking when he said "I want one who is still sweet and nice"

that was your cue to prove how sweet and nice you could be, but you called him illogical instead.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 147
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/27/2013 5:21:14 PM
I'd say there's nothing wrong with being jaded, as long as it doesn't close your heart off to meeting new people. .or new potential dates. I believe I've already reached that point. . Yes, the common denominator is me . .but I just don't believe I'm meant to be in a relationship. A lot less stress and worry, that's for sure. I see my friends from time to time, but it would be nice to have someone to come home to. Unfortunately, that's just not in the cards for me. I have a certain set age group I'm attracted to. (closer to my age, and not interested in much older)
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 148
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/27/2013 5:46:21 PM

I'd say there's nothing wrong with being jaded, as long as it doesn't close your heart off to meeting new people. .or new potential dates. I believe I've already reached that point. . Yes, the common denominator is me . .but I just don't believe I'm meant to be in a relationship. A lot less stress and worry, that's for sure. I see my friends from time to time, but it would be nice to have someone to come home to. Unfortunately, that's just not in the cards for me.


Sometimes you just need a break, just cuz u feel like tht now doesn't mean it will be forever!
 lostsoultoo
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 149
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/27/2013 6:53:06 PM
When I read the posts from bitter/jaded people, I feel an intense pity that their hurt and pain has not subsided. We all have baggage at our age. It's something called life. And while our hurts can side track us, we should find ways to overcome the pain. It will get better, but if we hold onto the pain and try to keep safe from having it happen again, we are missing life, maybe the best days of our lives. Being jaded/bitter are normal due to certain aspects of our lives. It doesn't mean we have to stop living or feel everyone we run into is going to hurt us again.
 house_full_of_bullets
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 150
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/28/2013 4:36:03 PM
I'd say there's nothing wrong with being jaded, as long as it doesn't close your heart off to meeting new people. .or new potential dates. I believe I've already reached that point. . Yes, the common denominator is me . .but I just don't believe I'm meant to be in a relationship. A lot less stress and worry, that's for sure. I see my friends from time to time, but it would be nice to have someone to come home to. Unfortunately, that's just not in the cards for me. I have a certain set age group I'm attracted to. (closer to my age, and not interested in much older)

Tough one. It seems there are more singles to choose from once you hit mid forties - but that might just be me. Just hang tight, you have a pretty good profile and you're pretty - you're just going through a dry spell I guess.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 151
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/28/2013 5:22:28 PM
The trouble with being bitter/jaded which I do think is the same thing... is that it's antidote is success where people normally find failure. Only once they've reached that depth of emotion finding success is nearly impossible... it's like a cancer that spreads until it eventually blinds them to everything in life. If they've become jaded because they can't find a good man/woman, for example, after a time they couldn't see a good man/woman if one was standing right in front of them.

But the word is overused. The mere mention of someone who had a setback... say their relationship went sour... people drag out that word IMMEDIATELY to describe the person who might have been dumped or burned when they are just going through the normal slough of emotions. That's not "bitter" or "jaded", which is a deeply entrenched, hardened state of being that no is longer simply a response to something that has happened.

Trust me, when you meet a truly bitter person, you'll know it and look out... it's not pretty. But it doesn't always appear the way you expect. In many cases a truly bitter person is someone who is walking around with a smile on their face trying to mask it...they might even claim their lives are wonderful... only to turn on you at the drop of a hat... maybe literally try to take you down if you achieve or have something in your life that they secretly desire... they are deeply jealous and spiteful... and many times downright destructive.

That's what's wrong with it.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 152
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/28/2013 5:29:29 PM
Bitter turns into Bittersweet.. (in retrospect).. and jaded.. im not sure you can swing out of that..

I skipped dating for a long time.. and celibacy has reset my dating 'tude...

Life is good if you choose it to be
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 153
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/28/2013 9:45:11 PM
Jaded to me is something where a person has expectations of failure, being let down or assumption of lying or spinning. It is cynicism rather than learned caution. Cautious is hopeful with an assumption of hopeful positive but knowledge it COULD go south; jaded assumes it definitely will go south.

But bitter? Bitter is something that is focused on, fed and grows... the more it grows the more it permeates every core of a person's perception, interaction, their very manner. They are angry, they are distrustful... they are enraged... and it twists their emotions and their outlook to the point every single person they see they use that perception on; and they want to make them pay.

Bitterness to some people I think feels empowering... but the people I know who are literally lost in it? Are not empowered... they are imprisoned... there is no quality of life, success or happiness when a person is buried alive in bitterness.

They can't see the light, the good, the hope, the magic. They only see their constantly fed perception of pain.

And it is repellant as an aura to people. It feels dark; it feels angry and it feels hostile. People who feel that way will maybe find someone who they want to share their twisted pain with; but to people co feeding their own demons i odn't think make for a real healthy relationship... and the bitter tend to shy away from the happy; because they resent the other person's peace of mind; not understanding quite often peace of mind is not becaus eof a lack of painful experiences; it is a making peace iwth them and not letting themselves be victimized. Happiness is a choice; not a condition based on lack of obstacles and a perfect life.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 154
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 7/29/2013 4:17:28 AM

And it is repellant as an aura to people. It feels dark; it feels angry and it feels hostile. People who feel that way will maybe find someone who they want to share their twisted pain with; but to people co feeding their own demons i odn't think make for a real healthy relationship... and the bitter tend to shy away from the happy; because they resent the other person's peace of mind; not understanding quite often peace of mind is not becaus eof a lack of painful experiences; it is a making peace iwth them and not letting themselves be victimized. Happiness is a choice; not a condition based on lack of obstacles and a perfect life.


what a great post, I should print it up & hang it up on the wall & try to stay positive as much as possible! TY. I quite agree about happiness as a choice, I think some are optimistic & make lemonade out of lemons & some don't. It's up to us to decide which one we want.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 155
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 8/11/2013 9:11:02 AM
Motown

^^^he wasn't asking you to question his wants.... he was asking you to appease them.

you didn't hear what he was really asking when he said "I want one who is still sweet and nice"

that was your cue to prove how sweet and nice you could be, but you called him illogical instead.
=======================================================================

But there would be no point in misrepresenting myself to him because if we starting dating I would find it too much of a strain to continuously act the part of someone I am not.

The aim here ISN'T just to get a date at all costs, even if it means suppressing our true personalities! It is to find someone compatible, AND to find someone who accepts us as we are, as ourselves, not someone play-acting.

Conversely, I would not want to be in a relationship with a man who has ridiculous expectations, like the one under advisement -- i.e. HE is allowed to have baggage and I am not.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 156
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 9/17/2014 9:33:24 PM
Nothing.

I do NOT find anything attractive about "angry" women however, I kinda' like a slightly sarcastic, cynical broad.

I am annoyed by those, happy-go-lucky, "the sun will come out tomorrow" types.

Life ain't all sunshine, rainbows, and lollipops...................express your frustrations..............but be funny about it.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 157
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 9/18/2014 1:31:34 PM
OP, I think there is a big difference between being jaded and being bitter. I think you become bitter, but as you pointed out, it doesn't last. After bitter, one usually becomes jaded. Personally, I know the stages. I was bitter for a while, but now I'm jaded. I'll believe in love only after it comes and bites me in the a$$. Other than that, I don't believe in it. To me tht's jaded. Just a general "ho-hum" disbelief in something or another.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 158
view profile
History
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 9/19/2014 9:46:41 PM
Sounds like another in the many seemingly elegant patchwork repairs people effect on themselves. Call it bitterness when it's immediate and visceral; call it Jaded when it seems more relaxed and comforting.

Life seems to be a long sequence of temporary fixes and substitute dreams and alternate visions, sometimes.

What gets scary sometimes, is that I might do such a good job on my patchwork and self-comforting, that I walk right past real love when it finally shows up in whatever form it chances to take.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >