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 on-the-offramp
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 126
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Jaded seems too permanent, like the old curmudgeons, heck, it seems you can even see it on the faces of some of the people here at times. You know, that down right mean look.

Jaded? Not me, I prefer, exquisite patina, a little worn but adaptable and still showing luster.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 127
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/30/2009 9:36:54 AM
For the OP. There is nothing wrong with gaining valuable life experience. There is definitely something wrong with a person who doesn't trust anyone and inflicts that upon others who they want to get close to, want to get close them -or- are already close. These are extremes. Hopefully after being hurt (which we really only did to ourselves) we find some middle ground. Some "grey area" between the black and white thinking.

What part did I play in it? Because we have no control over what the other person, did, said, the way they acted, etc., etc. So, what part did you play in the relationship, situation, etc., etc ? He/She was absusive? Well why did you stay with him? He/She was a cheater? Well, again why did you stick around? You did play a part, even in those extreme cases. You made a choice.

More too often I find people that are going to extreme thinking. It's usually because they're still blaming the other person. This isn't really what I refer to as "jaded" so much as a real possible emotional problem they need to deal with before inflicting it upon their next partner (victim).

Usually these people end-up thinking in "absolute" terms. Like; "All men are jerks"....."all women are b itches" etc., etc. It's baggage, and it's not mine, it's yours. I have my own thankyouverymuch.

There's nothing wrong with learning the hard way that putting your bare hand into a flame hurts. That's just a mistake, we all make 'em. What is wrong, is when you keep it there or do it again. We really only do it to ourselves. What's that stuff called again? Responsibility? Accountability? Yeah that's the stuff.

Mike
 Tammy the cat
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 128
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/30/2009 10:03:20 AM
a)JADED///you have no enthusiam because you are tired of something or because you have had too much of the same thing. b)BITTER///someone feels angry and resentful as a result of a disappointment or because they believe that they have been treated unfairly.Deep feelings of anger an unhappiness. Jaded seems more longterm an might be harder to bounce back from than just being bitter over something.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 129
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/30/2009 5:04:14 PM
All people are fascinating and special in their own ways. Jaded doesn't mean that you have formed an opinion in stone and have a sour outlook on all men or women, it means that you're graduated to a higher level.

You can see through so much of the bullcrap and that is something to make you happy, not bitter or sad.

There IS a very lovely 1/4th of the population who are well worth the effort, the emotional and financial and mental effort and investment of time. They are there for us and we are there for them.

Jade is a lucky stone, not tired and worn out, but lively, fascinating and radiating life.

"Today, too, this gem is regarded as a symbol of the good, the beautiful and the precious. It embodies the Confucian virtues of wisdom, justice, compassion, modesty and courage, yet it also symbolises the female-erotic. "

Cavemen valued the jade for its durability and used it to make weapons. So, it's strong, tough yet beautiful, and erotic.

What's not to like?
 pagethedj1
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 130
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/30/2009 9:22:03 PM

There IS a very lovely 1/4th of the population who are well worth the effort, the emotional and financial and mental effort and investment of time. They are there for us and we are there for them.


And the other 3/4 are what make dating so difficult!!!

I beleive a lrge portion of the dating community have jaded and bitter confused. It is an easy thing to do when you have been treated unfairly.
 JasonGrimm
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 131
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/30/2009 10:02:37 PM
Being bitter and jaded, is NOT a good thing. It's ironic that so many posts here think it's a good thing even though it's a negative thing, especially when we see so many posts every single day that are obviously from bitter people. So many posts created with bitterness and anger toward the opposite sex and generalizing about them. I think anyone who is trying to say it is a good thing is kidding themselves in order to reassure themselves to think such a negative bad thing is a good thing. I mean hey if all the bitter people get together in one spot and tell each other it's so great, they get that false reassurance but what they really need is positive reassurance on the good aspects of life and humanity. Sit around being bitter and jaded if you want, let the years go by, turn into an old wrinkly man who walks like he's mad at the world while pointing fingers at others and yelling at kids having fun playing basketball. As if that will make life better to look at the glass as half full or less than.

Everyone experiences being bitter at one time or another, but to remain bitter and therefore becoming jaded, is very bad. Virtually everyone seems jaded these days and it's no surprise to here comments such as, I can't trust anyone nowadays, everyone just wants to use me, etc, etc. I especially see it in the US everywhere and I can't blame anyone because it does seem like so many people are screwing each other over. Friends stabbing each other in the back. So when they go out with a girl, already they have their wall up and are acting tough and doing or saying things that will ruin the relationship/situation of that meet. Like the men who keep posting that women only want their money, or the women who say that men only want sex. Instead of trying to go out and meet better people or move to a better area, they stay in the same place ****in and complaining all the time. See I was bitter and jaded before too but I learned that all it did was prevent me from meeting good people and kept me attracting that negative type. I decided to change my life. Soon as I started thinking positive and reading Law of Attraction stuff, I started doing awesome in life!
 pagethedj1
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 132
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/30/2009 10:33:13 PM

Being bitter and jaded, is NOT a good thing. It's ironic that so many posts here think it's a good thing even though it's a negative thing, especially when we see so many posts every single day that are obviously from bitter people. So many posts created with bitterness and anger toward the opposite sex and generalizing about them.


I love it!!

I have felt there are too many bitter and jaded people out there. I try to be positve and look past it but sometimes it seems like they are ganging up on you to try to bring you down!! I have run into this problem trying to meet people online too. to you I say bah humbug!!! to the optimists I say, lets stick together!!
 KISS MY A$$
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 133
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/30/2009 11:31:33 PM
Wow peeps this thread took on a life of it's own!

"" I think you're on to something here.
I can hear Mary Poppins singing instead of "a spoonful of sugar:"
A good bit of bitter -- makes the medicine go down.
In the most delightful way.""

Ah yes ... but I think that would be Mary "Poopins." HAHAHAHA

Truth is sometimes we get the shyt end of the stick. My original point was being bitter for awhile acknowledges the feelings. I had to go through the pain not just dismiss it and fluff it off like a I was in a LaLa Fairy Land.
So it wasn't good. I know. But in some ways the pain motivated me to change. Without the "bitterness" I would have remained in the same situaions, making the same mistakes again and again.
People talk about "red flags" all the time. Are not the red flags fair warnings because a person has been hurt? Because the person has become a better judge because of that hurt? The person has become more realistic?
Maybe I confused the words, Jaded and Bitter. I was thinking they were synonymous.
This post has educated me that they can be percieved as different.
A lot have people here have mentioned that the hard times have earned them some compassion. I think so too. The harder the knocks the less I think you are inclined to judge others unless you've walked in their shoes.

Bodypro.. Is right. He was my inspiration. You gotta love him!!
 verityone
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 134
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 12:07:54 AM

My experiences with jaded people, is that they have this attitude of having been there, done that, and they’ve formed a “written in stone” negative opinion about life and relationships, that nothing will ever alter.

If we were to be so convinced that they were hopeless, wouldn't we then be guilty of being jaded ourselves?
Just some food for thought..
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 135
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 1:18:54 AM
IMO.....the problem with being jaded is that it often keeps you from experiencing the good things in life..you are so busy being convinced they won't happen...that they never will...

Acknowledging that bad things happen, and everyone isn't a good person..is healthy...assuming that it will always be bad, and everyone is out to hurt you, isn't...

You can not find love with a closed heart...and jaded people have closed hearts...

Open hearts mean you get hurt sometimes...but...the times you don't are well worth it...

Just my overly optimistic , idealist, glass half full opinion...lol...

Spreading good will whenever I can...I'm hoping it is catching...giggle...
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 136
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 4:38:53 AM
Oh well, think what you want, but YOU just became jaded by lumping everyone who has gained a realistic insight into human behavior into one pot. Welcome to the Club!

Your filters take something like the term, "Jaded" and immediately process it and then place in your psyche. Fear is what makes a person run from an idea or notion. People who fear the term, "jaded", are afraid that they will be rejected somehow, that maybe the world isn't just another episode of Sex in the City or Friends and that maybe, just maybe they may be called upon to achieve a bit more, to accomplish a bit more and to expect a bit more of themselves and others in the process.

Part of being "jaded" is losing the "giveashit" that the majority of people will "accept" you and think you're the greatest thing since Ipod.

I think these song lyrics pretty much sum it up:

Well, you filled up my head with so many lies.
You twisted my heart till somethin' snapped inside.
I'd like to give it one more try,
But my give-a-damn's busted.

You can crawl back home, say you were wrong;
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long.
Well, go ahead and water the lawn:
My give-a-damn's busted.

I really wanna care.
I wanna feel somethin'.
Let me dig a little deeper:.
No, sorry: nothin'.

You can say you've got issues, you can say you're a victim.
It's all your parents fault, after all you didn't pick 'em.
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen:
My give-a-damn's busted.

Well, your therapist says it was all a mistake:
A product of the Prozac an' your co-dependent ways.
So who's your neighbor these days?
My give-a-damn's busted.

I really wanna care.
I wanna feel somethin'.
Let me dig a little deeper:.
No, still nothin'.

It's a desperate situation, no tellin' what you'll do.
If I don't forgive you, you say your life is through.
C'mon, gimme somethin' I can use:
My give-a-damn's busted.

Well, I really wanna care.
I wanna feel somethin'.
Let me dig a little deeper:
No, I'm sorry.
Just nothin', you know.
You've really done it this time, ha, ha.
My give-a-damn's busted.


 Niflheim
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 137
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 5:20:02 AM
I've been described as being jaded, and to some degree I would agree. I would point out, however, that failed relationships haven't spawned this sentiment in myself. I've come to accept truths that others refuse to acknowledge, and if this qualifies me as having one foot in the grave, so be it. I actually find that overly optimistic people are those who don't fully appreciate the good in life, since they figure that good things are an entitlement. This is so wrong. If you find love and happiness in life, great, but NEVER assume that this is your entitlement, that this is something you somehow deserve. Anyone who harbors this conviction is profoundly petulant.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 138
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 11:14:26 AM

I actually find that overly optimistic people are those who don't fully appreciate the good in life, since they figure that good things are an entitlement


Believing in the possibility is far from expecting it...I don't think anything is an entitlement..but, I choose to believe that negative attracts negative, positive, positive..being realistic is far from being jaded by the way...jaded implies by definition, that nothing good will happen because it can't...because there is no good..., realistic is knowing that everything doesn't have a happy ending and there are risks, but, there always exists the possibility....jmo....
 Niflheim
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 139
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 11:40:09 AM
Zangie, I think you confuse being jaded with nihilism. When I speak of accepting truths that others refuse to acknowledge, I'm talking about how death is a part of life, and that it casts a shadow over life itself. This cannot be denied by anyone, and yes this makes me world weary, and I've dealt with this over 2 decades. Does this beget melancholy and despair? No, not at all, but what this reminds me is that all I have is the here and now, and that my perception of reality is limited by my historical horizon. Does being jaded mean that I've concluded that there is no meaning to life? No, but it also tells me that this is a possible answer, and that my inquiries so far have been permeated with opacity. You may disagree, but I find that realistic myself.
 TheHumanist
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 140
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 1:42:03 PM
Jadedness is just one of those turnoffs which we don't know why it turns us off. Since happiness and sweetness is a turnon jadedness is quite naturally a turnoff. While a turnoff isn't a complete dealbreaker however.
 WONDERMAN37
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 141
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 1:56:00 PM
Bitter is ok for a season but if you don't get over it it will take your soul and health at the same time. Is being bitter that important in the big picture when the only one you end up hurting is yourself?
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 142
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 2:11:18 PM
Wow! I must be missing something here. I'm jaded. I've been bitter, now I'm not. Bitterness and jadedness are two completely different things.

I'm quite happy and content. My life is full of love and hope and expectation. All things happen for a reason. You may not understand the "reason" but faith is what gets us through to happiness and hope.

See, I was jaded AND bitter, now I'm just jaded and happily so. What we seem to have here is a "failya to commonicate."
 Niflheim
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 143
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/31/2009 2:46:51 PM
Humanist, some people associate jaded with angst, and thus they deem it a turn off. Angst, however, is the human response to the unknown since we can't objectify the unknown. What this highlights is that many people don't wish to examine their lives in a significant manner. This may sound arrogant and condescending, but that has been my experience.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 144
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 2/6/2009 6:49:13 PM

No, not at all, but what this reminds me is that all I have is the here and now, and that my perception of reality is limited by my historical horizon. Does being jaded mean that I've concluded that there is no meaning to life? No, but it also tells me that this is a possible answer, and that my inquiries so far have been permeated with opacity. You may disagree, but I find that realistic myself.


And I thought I spent too much time searching for the meaning of life...lol..

Niflheim: As someone who is a cancer survivor ( and who has faced two other possible death events), I can say with absolute certainty that living in the here and now is pretty much my approach to life these days ( actually always was a bit, just reinforced with my experiences)...but, that is exactly why I try not to think of negatives, or what can go wrong...I am cognizant they can ( they have and probably will again), but, I refuse to let those possibilities keep me from enjoying what life I may have left...( and I'm old too...lol), and for myself, being jaded or cynical or bitter , or anything that assumes the bad/negative is the norm or the majority...or the expectation. Realistic is a good thing...but, being realistic to me doesn't mean always looking for the other shoe to drop, expecting the worst of people, or being a fatalist.

The first definition of jaded in the dictionary is " tired and worn out"....I am far from either, and don't want to be...I want to be alive the rest of my life. And I choose to believe that all is good till proven otherwise.

This in no way implies that everyone has to be this way...the OP was: what's wrong with being Jaded...IMO, and for myself...that is what is wrong with it. It leads with the supposition that life is inherently wrong/bad, and good and right are rare and accidental. Just not how I view it.
 Niflheim
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 145
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 2/6/2009 8:30:27 PM
With reference to the dictionary definition of "jaded", I'm fatigued with the idea that banality constitutes reality. While I'm presently in good health, I became most intimate with the idea that my life is limited by my historical horizon at age 23 when my father died suddently before me at age 23. Watching eyes freeze into eternity was a rather humiliating specatcle. By no means am I trying to trivialize your ordeals in life, and in most ways, I think your world view is in concert with mine.

As for spending too much time searching for the meaning of life, why the hell not? I essentially ask myself every morning why I exist. The rationale for these inquiries is that I can't justify my existence, only my parents can since I wasn't free to be born; and in response to those who would inquire why ask why, I've always replied, who cares about a cipher who asks this anyhow? No, I figure I'm not merely living but attacking existence myself.
 LucOberdere
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 146
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 2/6/2009 8:40:36 PM

I think we all need to taste a little bitter to appreciate what's sweet.
You just can't stay that way forever. But a good bit of bitter never hurt anyone.
I think we learn from it just like any other emotion.
I've had some unsuccessful relationships and I needed to be a bit bitter for a bit.
I got over it with time.


Yes, I agree with the above. It's "OK to visit", just don't stay long...

Time is always the great equalizer.
 DollfaceXX
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 147
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 2/7/2009 8:02:22 AM
Zephyr many of your posts ring true...I feel as long as we women know men only seek sex we are hence informed and experienced. God just made them differently. They have outdoor plumbing,this strange hot dog,illegal alien that flitters about at will ,,,thier brain lives in that hot dog ...........Guy's you have no clue how to get the hot dog into the bun heheheheh. Women have indoor plumbing, control of thier organ as well as thier mind.
It's all plumbing peeps.........women rule in that dept that is why we control you!

Always-Jeanne:)
 seventhone
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 148
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What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 2/7/2009 10:30:57 AM
Posted By: Dollfacexx on 2/7/2009 11:02:22 AM
Subject: What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Message: Zephyr many of your posts ring true...I feel as long as we women know men only seek sex we are hence informed and experienced. God just made them differently. They have outdoor plumbing,this strange hot dog,illegal alien that flitters about at will ,,,thier brain lives in that hot dog ...........Guy's you have no clue how to get the hot dog into the bun heheheheh. Women have indoor plumbing, control of thier organ as well as thier mind.
It's all plumbing peeps.........women rule in that dept that is why we control you!

Always-Jeanne:)

Just because you have what we want does not put you in control of your mind ... Think about it.... from your first period to the big "change" of life....The almighty Vag controls you !!!!
 RocknChik
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 149
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 2/7/2009 10:36:13 AM
It rubs off on the good people wanting to be happy. being jaded is such a negative thing like other negative emotions people pick up on them before picking up on a good emotion.
 ~Hello~
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 150
What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 2/7/2009 10:38:48 AM
.........................................................................................................................................


Who the hell wants to start a relationship with a person with a chip on their shoulder or one that thinks ALL men/women are the same?
Bitter=lonely.


carolann0308 (Post 4) Right On!

Not a thing "wrong" with bitter, jaded, angry, baggage laden peeps - nothing at all. Just NOT (IMO) fit to get into a relationship with.

If you're still licking your wounds from what the last one did "to" you - you are Not ready to start up with someone new. JMHO
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